@Gar1eth I'm saddened and sorry to hear about your cousin. In my family, January and February seem to be the bad months.
I also hope that something @jjkrkwood said, which resonated with me, will help you
My mother was a firm believer in "when it is time, it is time." For her, it was April 16, 2008. Three days before her 76th birthday. Honestly, it was that belief that helped my brother and I get through our loss and have the strength to help my dad through his.
I wish you hope and peace in your time of loss.