SouthOfTheBorder

Isn’t that the point ? Escorts, whether they know it or not, are creating a brand identify from the moment they enter the scene, usually by a listing on RM or similar site. From that moment going forward, the public brand or image is shaped by site reviews, Twitter, OnlyFans, personal appearances, forums word-of-mouth & self-participation in forums like this. All of that goes to image and reputation. I’m not sure that an escort complaining about all the typical escort issues in an online forum (that is populated by people who hire escorts) where the escorts identity is known and affects his brand or image is helpful. Some people might think the escort is too negative and others might think too uptight/rigid. Others might just be turned off by the complaining. I don’t think it has any upside for the escort, other than if it makes them feel better by venting. When I hire, I’m looking for a bit of an escape, adventure, fantasy & sex all rolled into one hour. And I want it to be easy. If there was an escort that I wanted to hire & was very public about all his complaints, troubles, frustrations, etc - i wouldn’t hire that person because maybe that negativity could show up in my appointment ? I’d choose to hire the person who presents publicly as happy, successful, fun & sexy. I want to maximize my chances of having a good experience and not get caught up in any provider negativity, however than manifests. Of course everyone has struggles & challenges - it’s how a person deals with them that makes the difference. A positive mindset is everything and if that can be created, then eventually positive things start to happen. And the reverse is also true.

exactly correct. However, it’s usually people with very little experience with lawyers that are quick to recommend getting a lawyer. The first thing they always offer is a letter & that can mean nothing in a legal context, except if it’s a Cease & Desist. Beyond that, it’s filing an actual lawsuit and that is completely unrealistic in the circumstances described. In my professional life, I worked with dozens of lawyers on every subject imaginable. It’s never quick, easy or inexpensive- even for obvious egregious basic things. Lawyers are in the business to make money - not get justice served. Even if you happen to find an honest attorney interested in offering real help, it’s still insanely expensive.

there are many things posted in this forum that “don’t pass the smell test” - and it’s usually obvious. For the clients here that have long history of hiring, or providers with years of experience - it’s easy to spot stories that don’t make sense, are a one-sided version of events, or just absurd statements/questions not based in reality. As for contacting lawyers - bad advice & costly. A simple letter from a lawyer can cost $3500 and it’s just that - a letter. Going beyond a letter will get expensive quick at $350 - $700 per hour. Restraining orders are not simple things to get and that’s even more money. Maybe filing a police report would help, but the police will want to know the exact circumstances of meeting the blackmailer & number of times meeting the person. Lying to the police is terrible advice - when they figure out the truth (and they will), then the complaint will be completely discredited. While vast majority of providers would never blackmail - it’s always a good idea to limit the personal information disclosed. Providers usually do the same unless they have public social media in their real names. One of the main reasons to hire is to keep things private & discreet.

preaching about not using stereotypes - then using a stereotype in making that point kind of negates the entire thing. It’s always helpful when posters have just a bit of self-awareness

this is super smart for many reasons. getting ready & doing an outcall requires the same exact effort to prepare/travel whether one hour or 3 hours - so why not discount the rate to get an overall bigger spend ? 1 hour at $300 vs 3hours at $600 ? Or similar …..yet, vast majority of escorts do not offer this and some will balk at any discounts whatsoever on some sort of principal when it makes perfect business sense. Most do not get the concept. And the clients that hire longer multi-hour appointments have more money & want a more relaxed time with breaks for drinks, etc. it’s not like 3 hours of nonstop sex. Plus, the longer appointments allow escort to develop a relationship with client to increase probability of additional hires and longer times. This is very simple, yet very few do it. Some offer overnight rates - I don’t get that personally, I have zero interest hiring someone to sleep.

an escorts listed rate means nothing. a rate that a,client will pay has so many variables that it’s impossible to quantify without complete information & seeing the escorts profile. even then, what somone will pay is not some standard formula. how many positive reviews does the escort have, how long has the person been advertising as an escort, what do the pics look like & what will the escort do ? Is the escort a porn star, or does the escort have a big social media following like OnlyFans or Instagram ? Based on a previous threade, you said no kissing. That’s a huge turn-off for majority of potential clients & completely removes most potential clients from ever hiring you. You also said only one review - that’s another problem where people won’t hire you. Unless you have some special type of service, appeal to a niche group, or are social media famous ……it doesn’t look good. Becoming a successful escort takes work and some self-awareness re: what you’re willing to do vs what people are willing to pay. I can’t imagine anyone paying $300 for an escort with one review & wont do the basics. The chances are worse once you get outside of the major cities. it’s not an easy job and many did that out the hard way. Any city that has nice weather & decent quality of life is going to be saturated with escorts. That’s a fact

I don’t think escorting is that much different from other professions. There are people that excel & become the best, regardless of where they are located - of course, competition is a factor to consider because in a super competitive market it requires a lot of work & dedication to make it. The very best providers are in NYC because it’s the #1 market in the world for potential income - that’s based on the number of providers working there & the rates they charge. There are very few other places that have an affluent population, lots of gay men with disposable income and a steady influx of tourists & executives with money to burn. London maybe comes close, yet the rates are less. LA would be right up there too. The top tier guys I know & hire are based in NY/Miami (between the two cities) and then have a loose travel schedule around then world based on where their target clients go at specific times. And they keep in mind that can’t charge NY prices in Greece, for example. Versus a relatively small city like San Diego that can’t compare to NYC in any way. It’s not close enough to LA to make both cities work together. And because of the small size it would be an everyone knows everyone situation very quickly. Providers based in small cities have their own set of complaints - small base of potential clients and people unwilling to pay. It really comes down to a lifestyle choice & being satisfied with those circumstances. I’ve found that people seeking geographic solutions to their issues in specific places very seldom cure the problem with a move. The issues seem to follow that person wherever they go. But, way easier & cheaper places to live than NY where almost everything is complicated & expensive. The things that make an escort successful are reliability, professionalism, positive attitude & the ability to quickly determine which potential clients are right for them vs the time-wasters/flakes. Most people think it’s being the youngest, best body or best looking- yet none of that matters if the person is unreliable or a flake. The top-tier guys I know never ever complain about their clients, hotel costs, cancellations, the cities where they work or anything else: they just make it happen. The true mark of any kind of professional is when it just appears effortless to those on the outside. And, the successful guys have figured out that reviews & reputation are everything in an increasingly online & competitive marketplace.

Not all Jukebox musicals are created equal - but most are money-grabs & not creative. The worst ones seem to be when the performer is long gone & the estate is just tying to make more money. I’d see Hells Kitchen at the Public tho - a different thing entirely. Re: sing-a-longs on Bway: I saw Hamilton twice - once before Covid where it was fantastic. Then I saw it again after Covid and after Hamilton had been streaming on Disney Plus for months. It turned into a sing-a-long show. Completely ruined the theatre experience, where I’m paying to hear the cast sing - not the person in the next seat. Totally selfish. Why go to theatre if you don’t want to hear the cast perform ??

One of the main reasons for her popularity is exactly because of the kind of person she is, or the kind of person her fans perceive her to be. She’s relatable as they say. Of course, she’s talented, beautiful & very very smart too. Social media plays a big part, but not for the reasons you might think. Younger generations raised on social media are followers. They quickly jump on a trend and it becomes ubiquitous- they are desperate to be part of a tribe, finding common ground & then there’s FOMO. If you visit certain cities that are overrun with “influencers” or “digital nomads” like Barcelona or Lisbon as two examples - the younger people all look the same: same fashion, same scooters, same tech equipment, same vacant look as they stare into their screens. They think they’re all unique & different- yet all being told what to think, how to dress and what’s on-trend based on their social media feeds. It’s brainwashing on a global scale more or less, with algorithms designed to keep users engaged & influence thinking/buying decisions all served up by the social media platforms who are in it for money.

I saw A STRANGE LOOP - a fantastic & mind-blowing original work. So out-there in the very best way, I’m surprised it ever made it to Bway. Wanted to see it again, but couldn’t make it work w my schedule Todays Broadway is usually recycled “revivals” or movie adaptations that are formulas for tourists & suburban people. The movie adaptations are typically boring as hell/predictable (Tootsie, Pretty Woman, etc) and the revivals are hit & miss. A truly original piece of new theatre is a rarity on Broadway these days. And then there’s always the mediocre jukebox musicals. Funny Girl is not a good show or an interesting one - it relies on a superstar vocalist in the lead role to make it work & overlook the lack of everything else.. I saw it with Beanie (horrible) and I saw it w Leah (fantastic). Before Covid, I saw about 12 Bway shows each year. After Covid, not so much. Even if there is an interesting show to see, the audience is routinely rude with all the talking & texting. If it’s a well known musical, then it’s basically a sing-a-long for tourists. It’s just not worth dealing with the rude people and then paying $400-$500 for 2 average tickets. The more serious or obscure the show, the more likely the audience will be well-behaved & not full of tourists. As I recall, A STRANGE LOOP had none of the typically rude tourists or suburban people because of the subject matter. It was real theatre. I saw MUSIC MAN w Hugh Jackman - boring & flat. I’ll see Cabaret (again) w Redmanyne ….it’s a difficult show to screw-up. And Merrily because of the off-Bway reviews. Depends on prices tho. Cabaret will be flooded w tourists. Merrily doesn’t seem like it will have tourist appeal. Selfish tourists seem to ruin everything these days - including Broadway. Definitely prefer to see things off-Broadway if possible as it’s always a better experience: no talking/no texting/no tourists - and much more reasonable ticket prices

exactly this !!!!

that makes sense completely. Never really thought about it before. seems like a self-inflicted mindfuck tho because being desired contradicts the whole idea around paid sex & creates even more chance for disappointment. if all goes according the script, then maybe it’s all worth it also interesting that the providers active on this site mostly say that what the client looks like either way, makes no difference.

I never expect/require an escort to cum. I don’t get the fascination with it, but I know it’s common. I assume the escorts have other clients and I wouldn’t want to impair their next appointment. The escorts always seem to surprised that I don’t care. Some want to cum and of course that’s great. And I certainly wouldn’t expect a masseur to cum either. When happy endings for me happen organically in a massage setting, then fine. The issue here is many guys really want a discounted rate by booking massage & then expecting escort services. Of course, totally different if you’re going to a place or person for massage and it is known/accepted that happy endings are part of the deal. If you’re not sure, then don’t expect it. It’s always a mistake to have a preconceived idea/expectation of what is going to happen in an escort/massage situation, unless you have discussed your requirements clearly and the provider has agreed. This requires very clear communication & that seems to be difficult given the shame around sex, paying for sex and fear of judgement. If those type conversations are uncomfortable, then it’s a very healthy exercise to work through it - expressing wants & needs clearly is empowering. I recently got a new massage therapist, who I see at least once a week. He was a referral from a friend and there was no expectation of any sex. He’s super hot/sexy, gentle with a firm touch and the movements/strokes feel sensual, but not sexual or erotic. On the table, I usually get turned on and get hard at some point. And then my mind wanders to other things. I realized that what I really like with this new guy is the ability to feel completely vulnerable & safe and very intimate all at the same time, without it being sexual. I let him touch me in places (not sexual) that I am too sensitive with others. But, for some reason it’s ok with him. I absolutely love sex, but sometimes it’s not about sex all the time.

passport control lines at both Tokyo airports can easily be 90 minutes or more. Japanese authorities are thorough and lots of people do not have their paperwork in order, adding to the wait time & confusion. Hotel check-in also seems to take much longer than usual, which was totally unexpected at large American brand luxury hotels. The hotel sector is still recovering from Covid shutdowns with properties & staff still struggling a bit to deliver high level of service. I tried to schedule a provider in Osaka - no such thing as a timely call-back and if they eventually did call back, they were all booked for same day and next day. Planning ahead is essential and a lot of patience. I gave up - too much hassle. Japan overall is amazing & I’d go back in a second.

the word friend is wildly overused. Being friendly & makIng friends are two very different things. being friendly wherever you go yields more pleasant interactions and friendly acquaintances, rather than actual enduring friendships that require time, energy, reciprocation, maintenance & nurturing. Facebook and similar have destroyed the meaning of what a real friend is. There’s all kinds of studies showing humans have a maximum capacity for something like 100 friendly acquaintances & then typically a very small circle of actual real friends, less than 10. So, can a provider be a real friend for some people ? - yes, it’s possible. Is it probable given circumstances of the relationship & human bandwidth ? - no, not likely. I’m not “friends” with my doctor, dentist, lawyer of massage therapist. I’m a client in those professional relationships with a friendly rapport.

exact same when I tried friendship w a provider that one time, it did create some jealousy and insecurities w my partner. Totally natural and I’d probably feel the same way. My partner is now pretty comfortable w how things work w my provider dates because it never interferes w our sex life, I usually do everything out of town and he knows there are no attachments of any kind. He wants to know general things just to make sure Im ok & has an idea where I am and when I’m expected to check-in….kind of safety followups. But he never wants the details. It works and there is zero guilt.

good question & interesting dialogue I’ve never been one to have sex with friends, just not my thing for whatever reason. I once had a provider where we became very friendly & did some non-sexual things off-the-clock. We had a lot in common, similar interests & he is/was a great person. It kind of ruined the sexual part of the relationship tho, because it was no longer purely transactional animal sex. I found that i really like having paid sex as a separate outlet with no other attachments. Never say never - but it didn’t work the one time I gave it a shot

Does anyone have experience subscribing to porn channels on privacy.com.br or onnowplay.com ? seems like these are Brazil versions of OnlyFans/JustFor Fans mainly interested to know if the sites are secure for credit card payments or any other comments

lol - in my first NY apartment, there was a female provider on my floor. EVERYBODY knew. It wasn’t really discussed as she was discreet & a lovely person/neighbor. She had small client list with the same guys coming & going at reasonable hours. If it had been random/different people at all hours, I imagine that would have been a problem. NY apartment dwellers and building staff know everything that goes on, especially on the same floor. There are no secrets & they all gossip.

good question re; types of guys. From my recent visits - most of the working men are guy next door types, depending on your country of residence Most were very fit and lightly muscled with a few twinks and a few I’d consider bearish. It was not overrun with twinks as some posts here indicate. I can see where some older guys may perceive “twink” just because as a whole, it’s a younger group of men working - I didn’t see it that way tho. There were no steroid bodybuilders or huge muscle guys. Thermas did have some bodybuilders around before the pandemic, I haven’t seen them there since. The majority of the working guys are Brazilian & same as you’d find at Lagoa - a few have actually worked at Lagoa which is not surprising. Age range is 20 -35 with the majority in the middle. In BCN, there seems to be some cross-over between sauna guys and online guys, however very few. The sauna guys can be taken off-site for 100euros, but that’s not for a full hour - more like 40 minutes. Standard rate for online guys is 150/per hour - if they think you are American/Canadian/Australian the quote is frequently higher. Research all the online sites in Spain (Hungz, Telechapero, Rentmen) & when making contact do not tell them you found them on RM - that’s almost always a much higher rate because it’s the go to site for Americans. Also helps if you contact people from a non-US identifiable phone number if possible. And use google translate to Spanish even tho that is obvious sometimes. If an online guy quotes more than 150hour, find someone else because there are plenty. A provider friend in BCN recently gave me a stern warning to be very careful with online guys because of frequent & heavy drug use (crystal meth) it’s very common and leads to other things like petty theft, performance issues, etc. There is some drug use in the sauna too, but mostly just smoking weed. In BCN, the sauna is the best choice for most as you can see exactly what you’re getting in a controlled safe environment with lots of options. I like to stay very close to Thermas so I can come & go as it’s open 24/7. They don’t allow re-entry, so that’s an extra cost but minimal for what you get. Lots of good restaurant options within a block or two makes it all very easy, safe & civilized. PM me if you need hotel recommendations. Enjoy !

good ! There are very few of these type saunas remaining with most of them in Brazil. The Thermas facility is definitely bigger than the new Lagoa. And it feels bigger than Pointe 202 & 117. It gets very crowded for sure, but doesn’t feel absolutely packed like the Brazilian saunas mainly due to Thermas larger facility. There is no such thing as waiting for a room at Thermas because there is always somewhere to go - there are lots of free cabins there that will do for 30 minutes. Don’t pay too much attention to going during peak hours - I think that’s a big mistake for most, especially if unfamiliar with the layout and guys. My best experiences have been off-hours when it’s not crowded. On my last visit, I went on a Saturday at about noon - the cashier told me there was only one working guy there and 3 other customers. I didn’t have any other plans, so I thought why not just enjoy the facilities for a while ? Within 30 minutes I met one of the most beautiful, gifted and kind Brazilian garotos anywhere. I spent a couple hours with him in sessions and having drinks & chatting (he spoke enough English to get by). I left the sauna at 3p as the working guys were streaming in. Went to hotel, took a nap and returned for round two at 7p as the crowd was starting to thin-out. The moment I walked through the door on the return, I met one of my all time favorites and spent the rest of the night with him. Success in the sauna doesn’t require any special expertise - other than an awareness that you are being watched, sized-up & discussed by the boys. Treat them all with respect and don’t waste their time unless you’re really interested. The guys I know from there all take pride in their appearance and go the extra mile in personal hygiene - they appreciate it when clients do the same. A prepared client who is polite, respectful & generous is a popular client who can get whatever they want. While the base rate is 50, tipping for extraordinary service is appropriate and small tips to the attendants and bartender goes a long way too. If you can manage some basic Spanish, that’s a game-changer. I’m a huge fan of Thermas and have so many great memories from there. Happy to share.

go to Barcelona - pick a hotel within walking distance to Sauna Thermas. You’ll have the best of both worlds - a sauna venue with plenty of choices & extensive online options. All in a very safe environment & nice hotels at reasonable price points.

fyi - the going rate at Thermas is 50euro. Not 40, not 70. It’s 50 now (as of a week ago) and it’s been 50 for as long as I can remember. Keep in mind that for 50, you get about 30 minutes, more or less. It’s absolutely not for one hour. Instead of asking how much, it might be better to just confirm that you know it’s 50. If you’re told otherwise, then walk away from that person because they just failed the first test & it’s unlikely to improve. I could potentially see some discussion for a higher rate if requesting something specific that is not routine. And I’d be careful about that because the very best guys will usually decline the moment something gets complicated. And be careful of the guys that approach you immediately with pressure. The guys in demand don’t operate that way. btw - Thermas is better than ever. Something for everyone, very clean facility, polite staff & completely safe. No drag shows or other distractions. Majority of guys are Brazilian, Venezuelan, Colombian & Dominican. All things considered, it’s way better than Lagoa or any of the Rio saunas.

this is also a major difference between the two cities - São Paulo is a global city and the financial capital of Latin America. Better restaurants, better hotels, basically better everything compared to Rio - unless the beach is something you can’t live without. And even then, prepare to be robbed. Really depends on the type of tourist you are and your requirements. If you like fine dining, beautiful hotels, a safe & sophisticated environment, then São Paulo is for you. If you don’t mind subpar sketchy beach hotels, mediocre food and constant danger, then Rio is your destination.

no - actually you jumped into this thread to respond to @mixer17 this is how trolls do it: manipulate the conversation to start the political controversy that you really want…..& is now banned here. have you ever been to São Paulo or Rio ? Let’s hear about that & how it compares re: personal safety to other places. Or, extra precautions that may need to taken, or places to avoid when in Brazil.