glutes

Guess Tiger is still in the woods... London - Tiger Woods's coach Butch Harmon believes the world number one must risk the humiliation and embarrassment of a full and frank news conference over his infidelities before he can get on with his life. Woods, who is taking an indefinite break from golf, has been in hiding since admitting last month he had cheated on his wife. "The golfing public would like to see Tiger Woods do a press conference," Harmon told the UK's Observer newspaper on Sunday. "To stand there in front of everybody, take his medicine, be humble, be embarrassed, be humiliated and answer the questions. "But where the hell is he? We could find Osama bin Laden easier than we can find Tiger Woods. How long can you spend on a yacht in the middle of the ocean." 'We could find Osama bin Laden easier than we can find Tiger Woods' Harmon, who now coaches world number two Phil Mickelson and does occasional commentary work for the UK television channel Sky Sports, said the 14-times major champion would have to put up with verbal asides from the crowds when he returns to golf. "The difficult part, in my opinion, is going to be the heckling from the galleries," he said. "He is going to get it. "If he plays in the Ryder Cup (in Wales in October) which I happen to think he will, that is going to be very interesting." Harmon, who believes Woods is likely to return for one of the four PGA Tour events in Florida in March, said the 34-year-old American was strong enough to turn the other cheek to the crowds. "He is the strongest person mentally that's ever played our game," said Harmon. "If there is anyone who can block out this extra stuff that is going on around him, he is probably the guy. 'He is the strongest person mentally that's ever played our game' "If he wants to rekindle the image of who he is, this would be the best way to do it, to do the press conference because then he looks human. "He is going to look ridiculous really, with the questions that are going to be asked. But the average person would appreciate that side of him because they've never seen that," added Harmon. - Reuters

Bit of a ruffian, hope he's hung like a horse... http://assets.nydailynews.com/img/2010/01/05/alg_vanity-fair_tiger-woods.jpg

"What are you made of?" Bye bye TAG Heurer! (I am sure his agent is having a shit-fit! 10% of a $1billion is not chump change) http://www.theimproper.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/tag-heuer-tiger-woods.jpg Bye bye Arnold Palmer! http://www.orlandosentinel.com/media/photo/2009-12/51153973.jpg

Good for Boeing! Hope I can fly on when it debuts passenger service. http://www.wingsoverkansas.com/photos/boeing/787-dreamliner.jpg

Q: What is the difference between Santa Claus aand Tiger Woods? A: Santa stops at 3 ho's...

Here we go aviation afficionados! http://www.787firstflight.newairplane.com

From Prince Lucky: "Well, yes, I would. Prices here are down significantly. I paid $2.64 a gallon yesterday."

Well said lookin', I never have bought a product or service based on a hired gun...

And ESPN said just last week that he was in no danger of losing sponsors, and I called them on it. -Gatorade -Gillette -AT&T http://sports.espn.go.com/golf/news/story?id=4713202 Concerning Steinberg / IMG, I am not alone: "Team Tiger, the fabled say-nothing entourage of trouble-shooters and deal-closers, now appear as a gang of shambling amateurs who were powerless to save him from his amorousness and inept in their handling of the subsequent crisis, in which the old standby of PR haughtiness not only failed them but extended their client's writhings." http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/2009/dec/13/tiger-woods-loss-scares-industry (great article, shows you how many people have been affected by TW's behavior)

This guy has left the sport that he loves, for a woman he apparently does not. Apologies or not, everything is being crafted and funneled by his ill-serving agent. From the laughable statement that his wife 'saved him' by breaking out the back window of the Escalade, to the "... the many false, unfounded and malicious rumours that are currently circulating about my family and me are irresponsible.", to the 'transgressions', and now the 'infidelity'. What will it be next week? Tiger and Steinberg keep making poor decisions and a course in Crisis Management 101 should include this spectacle as what not to do! So now Tiger loads his yacht Privacy for a trip to Faglaro Island (pronounce that one), Sweden to hide? Notice to Tiger and Steinberg, a 155' boat crossing the North Atlantic, even in good weather, is... well expect to throw some chum overboard.

focus on the family? In other words, on leave until the story cools off. Not gonna work.

Morford nails it again! Tiger Woods must die The sooner he flames out completely, the sooner he shall rise again By Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist Friday, December 11, 2009 I find I am, almost against my will, utterly delighted by the Tiger Woods crash-and-burn who-woulda-thunk slut-of-the-week pornstars-n-skanks flameout shockfest circus funhouse megaspectacle. So many holes, so little time, eh Tiger?You'd react dramatically too if your Official Skank It was not a quick realization. Fact is, I have never once cared the slightest bit about Tiger Woods or anything he has ever done, represented, embodied. I have zero interest in golf, don't care for insipid multimillionaire celebrity endorsements, gated Florida mansions or blinged-out Cadillac Escalades, and I have never once found myself remotely enchanted or bedazzled by anything Woods has said or done, largely due to the fact he doesn't appear to have much of a discernable personality or any spiritual fire to speak of, and his sole accomplishment seems to be making a mountain of cash by playing one of the world's most boring, nonathletic sports exceptionally well. But never mind any of that now. Tiger has transformed. Tiger has transcended. He is right now entering another glorious, rarified realm, a unique strata of American iconography, that of the fallen hero, the broken god, the disgraced saint soon be abhorred and mocked by millions, only to be -- and you may take my word for this right now -- loved and adored again in about, oh, I'd say two years and change. Maybe less. Just you watch. It's the same old story, really. Woods is now in the midst of nothing less than a classic, time-honored pattern that just might be one of our nation's finest, most insidious inventions of all time. Do you know this pattern? I bet you do. It's the same one that's been followed, with varying success, by all sorts of rock stars, supermodels, actors, athletes, pastors and politicians since George Washington was caught indulging his gay fetishes in an opium den in Paris. It's a blueprint that appears to work best in a ruthless capitalist system, not only because this is where wealth, power and ego can explode out of scale so quickly, but because capitalism gave birth to the damn thing in the first place. It goes something like this: Above-average human with just the right mix of talent/timing achieves massive success in a particular pop cultural arena, largely based on the blind love of millions who, through relentless marketing and media hype, have come to see him/her as a true icon, a symbol of faultless morals and righteousness, the poster child for the American Dream -- even though the American Dream doesn't really exist, and it never really did. Said blessed human goes on to enjoy an impressive, even stellar, career, sets records, makes blockbusters, appears in every magazine or cereal box known to man, becomes a brand, dines with the president, marries a supermodel/shipping tycoon, has God on speed-dial, earns influence and power far exceeding his/her actual domain/sport/category. All seems beautiful, ideal, bulletproof. Then, the magic happens. Seemingly out of nowhere, a crack appears. A dire mistake is made. An Escalade crashes into a tree, a line of cocaine is snorted near a paparazzi's hungry camera, a random drug test comes back positive for steroids, a gay prostitute proves he's had frequent meth-addled sex with a powerful homophobic televangelist Christian nutball. You know: same ol', same ol'. You know what happens next. All sorts of delightful pop culture hell breaks loose. Celebrity has spectacular flameout, reveals self to be far more debauched, wicked, strange, stupid than gullible fans and followers ever wanted to believe. Ensuing meltdown makes massive headlines as celeb loses product endorsements by the millions, is shunned by former community/fanbase, makes children cry, becomes instant pariah/punchline for wary and jaded nation, the poster child for How It All Can Go Oh So Frightfully Wrong. As we're beginning to see right now, the force of this negative backlash can be downright shocking. Americans hate to feel like they've been duped, even if they willingly helped co-create the saccharine lie from day one. What's more, unbeknownst to the celeb, all that support and love they had in the beginning often morphs into quiet, seething resentment, over time. It's just waiting to be ignited, uncorked, tabloided straight to hell. Enter Tiger Woods, the bland, clean-cut Buick spokesman and nice-guy family man, who is turning out to be just an incredibly offensive, adulterous slut, a Vegas-hopping, hooker-hoarding, waitress-nailing, cover-up money-giving, skank-loving, cheating *****bag of fun, a guy with absolutely awful taste in women but excellent skills at sleazy duplicitousness, hereby fully earning the crown as the new American pariah. U-S-A! U-S-A! Oh, but wait. We're not even to the best part yet. Because, as I mentioned, I am hereby predicting, based on the Great Pattern o' Fame mentioned above, a relatively quick turnaround for poor Tiger. I am confidently suggesting that Woods will crash, burn, be stomped into seemingly cultural oblivion in the coming months, only to rise again. It's virtually guaranteed. Unless Woods is revealed to have murdered a few hookers in Vegas or says something in a public microphone about his love of dog fighting and watching gay porn with Glenn Beck, his rosy future is a lock. Well, maybe. Look, if there's one thing we love more than discovering new heroes and building them into overpaid royalty, it's tearing them down again, just so we can watch them fall from grace like an AIG exec taking a swan dive from the Empire State Building. But even more than that, we really love it when they defy the odds and later rise again, when their former transgressions -- especially sexual transgressions, hey we're all sinners right? wink wink -- somehow magically turn into a charming defect, an appealing foible. All it takes is a clever agent to re-cast Woods as a reformed sinner, a misunderstood bad-boy with a heart of gold. Let him win a few big tournaments and donate all the proceeds to the Las Vegas Skank Rehabilitation Fund, and he's all set. So take heart, Tiger. Yes, it's about to get far, far worse. Yes, you will be America's punchline for many months to come. But take it from, say, Kate Moss, whose career flameout was truly epic just a few years ago. She lost hundreds of millions in endorsements and couldn't get a modeling gig to save her life after she was photographed doing a line of blow in a dressing room. But not a year later, she re-merged as the highest paid model in the world, more powerful and sought-after than ever, in large part thanks to her "bad girl" image. So play your transgressions right, Tiger, and they might just become, in the mangled gears of the American celebrity machine, a sublime asset. Your trespasses will be forgiven, your star repolished, your image reborn, your giant suitcase full of condoms replenished. Soon enough, you will again have all lame car endorsements, ugly sweaters, and slutty party-girl waitresses you can handle. God bless America. Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2009/12/11/notes121109.DTL#ixzz0ZOSpSxKo

Gives new meaning to the expression 'Go get'em Tiger'... “The most was for a girl in Manhattan” — whose name is Loredana, Braun said. “He paid $15,000 for her.” Read more: http://www.nypost.com/p/news/national/tiger_hired_worth_of_prostitutes_RiILkPLMI4e1IEA9ODtbpI#ixzz0ZLnl0tpC (Brother Miamilooker was right, the sh*t is beginning to hit the fan. Good call.)

Would you buy a car from this arrogant lying sack-of-shit? http://www.autojab.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/buicktigerwoods.jpg

The timing couldn't be better... http://images.mirror.co.uk/upl/m4/dec2009/8/3/golf-digest-217434100.jpg

KMEM, I am sorry, we disagree again. Can Tomcat Woods win tournaments like he has?? I am beginning to think he cannot. Forget about trangressions and recanting. He has suffered a head injury, and will be under immense crowd and media pressure when he re-appears on the links. If he re-appears on the links...

KMEM & L2p: Old man Joe & Steinberg both know the saying, "Money talks and bullshit walks"

Guess he isn't out of the woods yet. Couple below article along with todays WSJ article on Tiger's spin doctor Mark Steinberg... (12-08) 06:35 PST Windermere, Fla. (AP) -- Fire department medics responded early Tuesday to a 911 call in the same block as Tiger Woods' Orlando-area home and took an adult to the hospital. A spokeswoman for Orange County Fire Rescue would not confirm local news reports that the 2:36 a.m. call came from Woods' home early Tuesday or that the patient was a woman. Spokeswoman Genevieve Latham told The Associated Press that an adult patient was taken to Health Central Hospital in Ocoee, the same place Woods was treated after he crashed his sport utility vehicle outside his home last month. The patient's condition wasn't immediately known. Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2009/12/05/sports/s113831S02.DTL&tsp=1#ixzz0Z6oKAA4A

Not so fast ESPN! They claim everything is just fine with TW's sponsors: http://sports.espn.go.com/golf/news/story?id=4713202

Cheetha Woods just keeps it going! http://images.smh.com.au/2009/12/04/947687/tiger_woods-420x0.jpg

Comparing mea culpas Serial plagiarist.... I plan on making some changes and I promise to never make the same mistakes again. Once a liar, always a liar. This wasn’t an isolated incident. I can assure everyone that our little Benjamin (and no, that’s not a sly reference to his less than impressive penis) is a stranger to the truth in all areas of his life. His plagiarism is merely a symptom of a much larger pathology. I am human and far from perfect. (cue the violins)[ This was, hopefully, one of the last large mistakes I hope to endure in my adult life. Is there another life you’re going to be leading or do you plan on being a child again? Also, you don’t “endure” mistakes – you COMMIT them and then endure the consequences. Once again, little Benjie is playing the victim card – acting as though this were something beyond his control. I take full responsibility for my actions How fucking big of you. Unless someone was holding a gun to your head it’s impossible to lay the blame at anyone else’s feet. and only ask that you give me another chance. Fooled once, shame on you……. I'm not a monster Poor thing, he can't control himself - he’s quoting The Elephant Man. No one said you were a monster Benjie. What you are, is a liar. and I never wanted to be a thief. No, you wanted to grow up and be a…….oops, let’s not go there. I have morals and beliefs which support and guide my life. While you were serially lying to your readers. My mindset is clear Whatever the fuck that means. and I enjoy being grounded, even if my actions in this instance suggested otherwise. It’s not an “instance” Benjamin – it’s instanceS. I am sincerely sorry and I ask for your forgiveness. Tell it to the hand. (Comments by FFF, former Hoovillite) Serial philander... "For all of those who have supported me over the years," Woods statement said, "I offer my profound apology." Why apologize to anyone but his wife? In the interest of damage control, no doubt backed by his sponsors, he sold out Tiger Woods the human being for the benefit of Tiger Woods the commodity. He wanted to play the game both ways - confess so that he seemed like a contrite, responsible family man, yet also pretend that he lives by a code of strict discretion. "Whatever regrets I have about letting my family down have been shared with and felt by us alone," he said. "I have given this a lot of reflection and thought, and I believe that there is a point at which I must stick to that principle even though it's difficult." If that were true, we wouldn't be able to read those words on Tigerwoods.com. The statement reflected an impatience and lack of discipline that recall Phil Mickelson's collapse at Winged Foot. Woods slapped the name "Privacy" on his yacht, but didn't hold fast to the principle. He abandoned it to deliver a pacifying mea culpa and re-craft his image. "I am not without faults and I am far short of perfect," his statement said. Well, so are most people. They can be shamelessly curious and gossipy. Is that worse than marital infidelity? Woods seemed to think so, even as he bowed to their curiosity. "I have been dismayed to realize the full extent of what tabloid scrutiny really means," he wrote. He must have been very distracted when Kenneth Starr, Monica Lewinsky and her blue dress became a part of presidential history. (Comments by Gwen Knapp, sfgate.com) Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/12/02/SP981AU1NS.DTL#ixzz0YbTKTENy

Godspeed Tiger! "I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart. I have not been true to my values and the behavior my family deserves. I am not without faults and I am far short of perfect. I am dealing with my behavior and personal failings behind closed doors with my family. Those feelings should be shared by us alone. Although I am a well-known person and have made my career as a professional athlete, I have been dismayed to realize the full extent of what tabloid scrutiny really means. For the last week, my family and I have been hounded to expose intimate details of our personal lives. The stories in particular that physical violence played any role in the car accident were utterly false and malicious. Elin has always done more to support our family and shown more grace than anyone could possibly expect. But no matter how intense curiosity about public figures can be, there is an important and deep principle at stake which is the right to some simple, human measure of privacy. I realize there are some who don't share my view on that. But for me, the virtue of privacy is one that must be protected in matters that are intimate and within one's own family. Personal sins should not require press releases and problems within a family shouldn't have to mean public confessions. Whatever regrets I have about letting my family down have been shared with and felt by us alone. I have given this a lot of reflection and thought and I believe that there is a point at which I must stick to that principle even though it's difficult. I will strive to be a better person and the husband and father that my family deserves. For all of those who have supported me over the years, I offer my profound apology." We all make transgressions Tiger, well put. Let let us all move on, and hope that Swingin' Swede did not cause any permanent head trauma. A damaged brain is a damaged mind. Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2009/12/02/sports/s072747S38.DTL#ixzz0YZ5eJwPL

Speaking of points, 4 points and a $100 fine? He's not out of the woods yet... http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00940/SNN0205A_280_940190a.jpg

And who will track down those drug-addled hookers first, TMZ or Ben-Jamin's blog??

By Mike Lopresti: "There is less sympathy the day they seek to trade their talent for endorsement riches. Once they try to sell us something, once they accept the role of representing something, thy're asking us to trust them. They are seeking to be, for want of a better term, role models" Role models don't get free passes once 9-1-1 calls are made...