mike carey

ALERTS TO THREATS IN 2015 EUROPE
From JOHN CLEESE
 
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists ha...ve been re-categorised from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.
 
The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.
 
The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability.
 
Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."
 
The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."
 
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels ..
 
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
 
Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be right, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the last final escalation level.
 
Regards,
John Cleese ,
British writer, actor and tall person
 
And as a final thought - Greece is collapsing, the Iranians are getting aggressive, and Rome is in disarray. Welcome back to 430 BC.
 
Life is too short!
 
TruHart1

I am a little late to this thread but I remember a travel guide stating that if you have three men sitting at dinner where one is Portuguese, one is Spanish, and one is Italian. Then the Portuguese could understand both the Italian and the Spaniard when they spoke, the Italian would only understand the Spaniard when he spoke. The Spaniard would understand only Spanish.

Gman, there is virtually no accent difference in Australia. There are some differences in vocabulary, but they are minor. There are accent differences between Australia and New Zealand, but none between the east and west coasts of Australia.

I forgot to mention... sometimes they invite me so that I can do the honours for the two of them. It's a tough job, but someone's gotta do it.
 

 
Thanks man. It does work well for everyone. =)

Saw Flavio on one of his trips into Mexico City last year.....well worth the price of admission....(errrr, he entered me).

There's nothing like a nice V-shaped torso to get one over the hump day hurdle.
 
I would love to see what the rest of this guy has to offer!
http://38.media.tumblr.com/e0b8a9f21b6feccede897ab76bbb7915/tumblr_nlypoqpvt01uocdxao1_400.gif

So many great songs, rock, soul, classical....and this
 

I've hired him this year. Thumbs up from me. Posted a review.

+1

I have been a distant admirer of Alec and Ryan for a long time. I hope to become a much closer admirer, but only time will tell on that!

The Malaysian PM has just confirmed that the debris found at La Réunion was from MH370. So with that we can dispense with the conspiracy theories about the aircraft being flown to Diego Garcia or Central Asia.

The Malaysian PM has just confirmed that the debris found at La Réunion was from MH370. So with that we can dispense with the conspiracy theories about the aircraft being flown to Diego Garcia or Central Asia.

(Pretending it's still day before yesterday.)
 

This is a serious concern. I'm waiting with bated breath for the Donald to blame President Obama for failing to stop these foreign birds from entering the United States and threatening American dinosaurs.

This is a serious concern. I'm waiting with bated breath for the Donald to blame President Obama for failing to stop these foreign birds from entering the United States and threatening American dinosaurs.

Kevin Slater

Porn teaches kids an unhealthy and unrealistic idea of how quickly a plumber will come to your house.
 
Kevin Slater

Noooo, it doesn't show at all! And I am sufficiently aware to know what you were talking about!!
 
One newspaper in Melbourne (The Age) is often referred to as the Spencer Street Soviet (its offices were in Spencer Street). It's all fun!

My crack was particular to that portion of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts consisting of the Boston metropolitan area, and especially the...

People's Republic of Cambridge
An independent state just north of Boston, with two universities and one way of waging war: writing nasty notes and putting them on people's windshields. Has enough organic grocery stores, indie bookshops, and other college-town fripperies to satisfy an army of Sartre-reading undergrads.
 
Newbie: Why do they call this place the People's Republic of Cambridge?
Native: Because more people voted for Nader than Bush in 2000.
 
Cambridgeite 1: You wanna go down to Bread & Circus and pick up some pine nuts and kale?
Cambridgeite 2: But that's really out of my way, I was planning to head down to Harvard Books. If only we had public transportation we could solve this problem.
Cambridgeite 1: What do you think this is, New York? I am so sticking a note on your car for your thought crimes.
 
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=People's+Republic+of+Cambridge
 
P.S. I (AS) should add that the proper term for a denizen thereof is of course 'Cantabridgian.'
 
P.P.S. Disclosure--I was one myself for 28 years.
 
Does it show?

This thread is very confusing as it seems some people are referring to Micah Brandt (the original subject) and others are talking about Bailey (the alleged thief.) While writing your own review is a serious transgression, I think most of us would consider theft far worse, so I hope we're not unfairly tarnishing Micah's reputation with comments about Bailey.

Put this in the bank for next Friday...
 

Walmart has form with this. I'm sure I saw the same thing advertised for the festival of lights. That would be Hamukkah I guess.

Yes it is sad that racial identity is such a big issue. If it were not a big issue she could have turned up at the NAACP, done the good work she apparently did without having to say what her racial identity was, or having anyone consider asking.

Yes, BVB, her lack of integrity bothers me, but not so much that I'll ignore the good things she's done.
 
Honestly, when it gets right down to it, I'm a little sad that racial identity is as big an issue as it is. It would be nice if one day those lines were a little more blurred than they are today and folks could have a bit more flexibility in their self-identity.
 
A pipe dream, I know.
 

http://cdn.teen.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/alice-in-wonderland-caterpillar-smoking.gif

Isn't that the Pascal Ham?