LivingnLA

You're welcome to pitch a tent any time. I like camping.

I'm in one of the world's largest metropolitan regions. Many providers stay or live in West LA, which I'm losely definining as Downtown LA all the way to Santa Monica. 20-30 minutes is frequently impossible even within West LA, let alone if you're outside of it and trying to travel into it. I'm always surprised by providers who don't understand that asking me to come to them in West LA is asking me to eat up an entire day when the drive time to and from them plus the session time are added together.

I'm in one of the world's largest metropolitan regions. Many providers stay or live in West LA, which I'm losely definining as Downtown LA all the way to Santa Monica. 20-30 minutes is frequently impossible even within West LA, let alone if you're outside of it and trying to travel into it. I'm always surprised by providers who don't understand that asking me to come to them in West LA is asking me to eat up an entire day when the drive time to and from them plus the session time are added together.

I'm in one of the world's largest metropolitan regions. Many providers stay or live in West LA, which I'm losely definining as Downtown LA all the way to Santa Monica. 20-30 minutes is frequently impossible even within West LA, let alone if you're outside of it and trying to travel into it. I'm always surprised by providers who don't understand that asking me to come to them in West LA is asking me to eat up an entire day when the drive time to and from them plus the session time are added together.

@Funguy, Which Mark?

Her father is worth at least $2 billion. $6.5 million is nothing when the family's honor is on the line. Plus, it's entirely possible his company paid the fee, though he denies it. Lastly, I wouldn't be surprised if he planned to use her position at Stanford to get approval to buy a residence for her and provide support, which would've allowed him to move many millions more out of China.

The downward point, especially if gifted like @big dale, is a clear message from a client who wants to misbehave.

This is why we cannot have nice things. People get greedy or selfish, usually because of grossly unrealistic expectations created by excessive media exposure, and then dehumanization occurs which breaks down communication, trust, and relationships. Much of porn is fantasy. It does not exist in the real world where sexually transmitted diseases and infections are real. Nor does it take personalities or emotions into account. Or the reality of hygiene. Sometimes we just don't feel clean enough for things like rimming. Porn is about presenting a fantasy for masturbation. Porn creators often don't care about anything but cheaply creating porn, which is why the porn industry is so destructive to those who work in it. Escorts are human beings. They have their own emotions, personality, and preferences. I have no doubt that some escorts would be completely willing to do what the OP calls "basic sex." Hell, I have no doubt that some are even kinky enough to get into the arrogance, dismissiveness, and objectification implicit in the OP's posts. But, they are still human beings and if they feel disrespected or uncomfortable then they will become more defensive and protective which will increase their limits.

As the thread shared by @Mr. Jones makes crystal clear, "John" is not the man in the pictures and he provides an adequate massage but does not like mutual touch or any of the other things many on this forum look for when they want a massage. In other words, avoid this fraud.

There have been cases of men in their 20s and 30s who have ED because of various psychological issues and even some physiological issues. Accidents and trauma can happen at any age. Excessive porn use can lead to certain cognitive habituation that makes ED a high possibility. There are many reasons why they might need assistance.

Are you looking for an actual good massage or do you just want a hot guy to touch you? I'm not being harsh. I'm trying to understand your priorities.

Yes, monitoring liver function is important for anyone on PrEP. If they are honestly taking it and being responsible, then that's a safe assumption.

Generally speaking, for low-risk sexually active adults, the recommendation is comprehensive STD/STI testing annually. That includes anal and throat swabs (if they are receptive for penetrative oral or anal sex), urine and blood draws, and visual inspections. This is what any responsible exclusively heterosexual or lesbian sexually active person should be doing every single year unless they are in a rock solid monogamous relationship. Everyone else who is sexually active should be more frequent because anyone having sex with men who have sex with men are automatically at least medium to high risk. I have been reliably and happily married to my wife for decades. I have a long term guy on the side who says he's exclusive except for his female partner. I get tested every 6 months for everything. I have my vaccinations: HepA/B, HPV and meningitis. Escorts that we are talking about are an even higher risk group. Not only are they men who have sex with men, but many of them engage in high risk behaviors like partying, condomless sex, and a high number of different people. For them, every 6 months would be an absolute minimum. Every 3 months is much better. Even monthly may be useful, but they also need to be very aware of the false positive and false negative rates of the tests they are taking. They also need to be very aware of their bodies to detect even subtle changes because something like 60% of men don't show major symptoms when they have many major STD/STIs. For HIV prevention, PrEP and condoms are your friend. Know that there are already PrEP resistant strains in the wild but they are rare. Get informed about the risks. Make your own decisions about what you're comfortable with and have fun.

All of those aspects that you mention fall under sexual activity. Without a thorough interview or rigorous observation and testing, it's impossible to know one way or the other. There are any number of kinks that could fit as well. That's why it's generally easiest to just take people at their word when they self identify. If he says he's heterosexual, then he is as far as we know without much deeper investigation. Human Sexuality is complicated.

Men who are worried about "legal trouble" need to wake up and update their thinking as we build a society that is finally starting to demand equal protection for all human beings. It's this simple: enthusiastic consent means yes, consent may be withdrawn at any time, and any form of pressure (emotional, physical, social) nullifies consent. Those 3 basics plus a clear understanding that any mind altering substance compromises consent is all that's needed. In other words, respect whoever you're with as you want to be respected. None of my children have ever expressed such a fear or concern nor have any of their friends as far as I'm aware, but we have believed in and taught enthusiastic consent from an early age. http://www.mtv.com/news/3119428/how-to-practice-enthusiastic-consent/ Are there some "legal troubles," yes but as usual sexism and fearmongering blow them way out of proportion. The best studies I've seen have false reports in the 2-6% range. Yes, that is terrible for the 2 to 6 people (not all are guys) out of every hundred who have to go through the experience. But, studies show anywhere from 50 to 60% (or more) of sexual assault goes unreported. The vast majority of victims suffer in silence because of our sexist society's refusal to see how deep and pervasive sexual violence is, even today. Our children deserve better. We need to stop the BS, grow up, and fix this now. https://theconversation.com/heres-the-truth-about-false-accusations-of-sexual-violence-88049

Pretty much all massage is sensual without erotic aspects. The problem with the word use in this context is the attempt to layer in erotic intent while creating a separation with the erotic label. That's part of why the variance is so wide among providers and clients. The only way to understand what these terms mean is to ask because every provider and every client will have a different understanding.

Sexual Orientation is separate from Sexual Activity Orientation. It's entirely possible for a heterosexually identified and genetically expressed "straight guy" to enjoy anal sex. They are independent components of Human Sexuality. Escorting is legal when it's a professional companion who spends time with a client who wants an escort to a public or private event or activity. Many municipalities require such professionals to be licensed or registered along with appropriate business licensing. I am unfamiliar with New York local laws, so I do not know if they require it or if they'd even allow it given this provider's criminal history.

I believe the latest GSS data showed something like 18% of young women and 28% of young men did not have sex in the last year. There are a great many reasons why sexual activity is declining. Nearly 60 years after the start of the Sexual Revolution in the USA, the fact remains that we are seeing less sexual activity. This is partially a result of our long fight toward real equality for all humans, regardless of gender and sexual expression. Couple that to the growing reasonable expectation that every human being has the right to control their body and access to it. Then throw in how technology and other societal shifts (inequality, loss of hope/opportunity, success pressures, performance anxiety, porn, etc.) have increased emotional and physical isolation along with the added stress of our unhealthy lives and we create a world where less sex happens. We should all be worried since touch and healthy sex lives both play huge roles in emotional, mental, and physical health. Our society is broken and the drop in sexual activity is one more of the many warning flags waving to get our attention before it's too late. If you're looking for a very good and readable overview of this complex topic, I suggest this great Atlantic article: https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2018/12/the-sex-recession/573949/ A shorter read that pulls out a key theme or two of the article can be found at the Tribune: https://www.chicagotribune.com/lifestyles/stevens/ct-life-stevens-thursday-why-theres-a-sex-recession-1115-story.html Here's a Psych Today write-up by a respected expert who summarizes and responds to the Atlantic article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/201811/7-reasons-why-young-people-are-having-less-sex

I have no direct knowledge, but I've heard rumors for years that the USA demands and receives criminal records from some countries and uses that info to determine who it will allow in. As this very long U75 thread shows, some UK citizens have been flagged for things like fraud or drugs and others have not. Maybe it's all urban legend. https://www.urban75.net/forums/threads/travelling-from-the-uk-to-the-usa-with-a-criminal-record.88652/page-68 And here's a Quora that says the USA doesn't get access to criminal records, just whether or not the UK flags certain people as risks. https://www.quora.com/Can-a-British-citizen-enter-the-USA-if-they-have-been-arrested-in-the-UK-before-but-were-either-released-without-charge-or-found-not-guilty-of-the-alleged-offence Probably meant to type AFAIK (As Far As I Know).

Thank you for your perspective. I do not agree, but I see how it can be interpreted that way and I appreciate the reminder to be very aware of audience, especially when writing anything that can be taken as criticism.

Please do not put words in my mouth. I in no way blamed @FRyan22 for the people who flaked on him. If that's what you read in my reply, I am sorry, but I do not see it. What I did do in my long winded reply was try to touch on the larger societal reality and the reality of this profession. I then went on to suggest ideas and provide advice. You are correct that I did that unprompted and it was presumptuous of me. That in no way places blame on the OP nor was there any intent to place blame on him. I was simply trying to provide context. I even suggested at least one possibility that makes the flaky clients seem to be real assholes. Who knows though? Life happens. We cannot control it. We can barely, with effort, control our own reactions. Flakiness is a cost of doing business in every customer centric business. Deposits are one solution. Credit card number to secure a reservation is another. Prepaying is another. Doublebooking, informed or not is another. All of these and more have pros and cons. Each provider must decide on how they want to run their business. A "never book" list seems sensible for bad clients. I've even heard rumors over the years of some providers having their own reviews of clients. Do whatever works for you, but all of them have trade offs, pluses and minuses. I am sorry people flaked on you. Life sucks sometimes and even people we think are friends or family can and do hurt us. It is sadly part of the human condition and our current society only seems to amplify it. For me, when something negative happens in my life, I try to assess the situation, identify anything I may have done that could be improved, and modify my life moving forward. Those people who are more trouble than they are worth, are not in my life. Reciprocity and respect are minimum requirements, even online. Life is too short and there is too much to do to spend time on someone who is not considerate. I understand and am aware of my privilege in being able to say and live that way. Even in my customer centric profession, I put up with a lot from my clients too. If they become more trouble than they are worth, I no longer accept them as clients and I move on.

Welcome to the forum and the modern world! We as a civilization worship money above all else. The only people who are inherently valued in our modern world are the already successful. Everyone else is just a human resource to be used and replaced when necessary. I'm intentionally being provocative because that's the current global meta-narrative and has been for large chunks of human history. You've chosen a particularly competitive occupation, hobby, gig, side-hustle. The dearth of jobs with living wages means that a large majority of people have side-hustles just to eat and have a place to sleep. That means there's far more supply than demand, even as hourly escort rates are $300-$500+ in markets like LA. If your avatar pic is you, then you have a fit body that will check many boxes for potential clients. Your thoughtful and measured post above shows an intellect and personality that will intrigue potential clients. But, there is a major stumbling block. You appear to be advertising in a very discreet limited way just here on the forum. While the forum is the right target market, there's much less visibility or presence for you so there's less risk for potential clients to flake because you are largely unknown. I wouldn't be surprised if some clients are booking with you as a backup while they wait to hear from a more well known but less responsive provider. That's not considerate, but it is life. Restaurants have to deal with this all the time, which is why some places require credit card numbers to secure a reservation. Keep in mind that requiring such info will substantially reduce your likely booking rate because so many clients would be scared away. Life happens. We all have emergencies or issues come up. I urge you to see flakiness as one of the costs of business. I also urge you to figure out better marketing. Just being on the forum isn't enough. You won't get enough exposure to potential clients to create enough of a sales funnel to be sustainable. I also suggest you really think about what your key competitive differentiators are and how to message them in the market. Men are more visually driven than women, on average, but they still need to be enticed and seduced into wanting to spend time and money on you. Part of your job is to create a brand that is compelling to the target clients you want to attract. That brand should be based on things about you that are easy for you to do and that you hopefully even enjoy. Do you like to top? Are you funny? Are you hung? Do you like to Dominate? submit? Are your eyes mesmerizing windows into your soul? Is your skin supernaturally soft? Figure out your strengths and how to package them into a compelling service. You want your clients to want to hire you because you excite and intrigue them based just on the expectations you create with your marketing. It gets them psychologically invested in you as an experience and makes it less likely they'll flake unless it's a real emergency. Feel free to direct message me if you want to chat more. I'm in the LA area and a client who hires occasionally for certain specific experiences.

Very true, plus the expected "look" that takes time and money to create and maintain.

Very true, plus the expected "look" that takes time and money to create and maintain.

I don't have the time right now to write a thorough response to this thread, but I'll leave you with a few articles that should make it abundantly clear that a sizable percentage of clients are likely on the psychopathic spectrum and there are many reasons why. This hobby requires money and it's important to understand that our culture is dysfunctional and rewards those able to excel at actions, beliefs, and decisions that are psychopathic. Just look at the current occupants of the white house to see many psychopathic traits and personalities on display. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/psychopathy https://psychcentral.com/blog/differences-between-a-psychopath-vs-sociopath/ https://hbr.org/2004/10/executive-psychopaths https://www.forbes.com/sites/victorlipman/2013/04/25/the-disturbing-link-between-psychopathy-and-leadership/ https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/on-small-business/wp/2016/09/16/gene-marks-21-percent-of-ceos-are-psychopaths-only-21-percent/