LivingnLA

In my MT days, if I felt it would be beneficial for the client and the session outcome, I would suggest a client take a hot bath prior to a session to start the relaxation process in a client's soft tissues. I was very clear about the goal being the heat of the bath helping to kick start the relaxation process. I never once discussed or even came close to suggesting anything about hygiene. I don't know what words were used, but any words even close to suggesting hygiene might've offended the client. Additionally, the client might be hypersensitive about their body for some reason. Who knows what life experiences they've had. Perhaps another provider once said something insulting or derogatory and it wounded the client's sense of self deeply.

@Gymowner, I'm going to take you at your word that you're "trying to help" and give a couple of points about why I have said what I've said about the more aggressive replies in this thread. I value your thoughts. I've stuck up for you before, just as I have challenged you before on other topics. That's what I love about this forum, the diversity of thinking and contributions of so many smart people. 1. Text communication is flawed because it's missing contextual cues, especially vocal tone and body language. The net effect for many/most human beings is that text is read more harshly or negatively if it isn't very well written with care for the audience. 2. Some of the most fascinating research is exploring how humans are essentially the synthesis of our life experiences overlaid upon our reflexes in a way that allows us to extrapolate from those experiences to navigate the world. What's interesting about this line of thought: it means that we are--in some sense--"children" when we're exposed to radically different experiences. As an example, many older LGBTQ people talk about their "second puberty" when they finally come out. It's like they're learning how to have relationships all over again. Over time, they discover the commonalities and variances and adapt accordingly. 3. For many humans, when we're learning is when we're also very self-conscious and frequently vulnerable to personalization of failure. In other words, we blame ourselves or are very self-critical of our mistakes and failures. This--in moderation--is good in that it helps us analyze and learn from our mistakes, but if taken too far results in negative outcomes. The opinions and words of those around us as we expose ourselves by sharing our mistakes can have significant impact. If this forum is to be a supportive community, we should self-reflect on our tendencies toward negativity and pessimism. They're completely normal and expected given the nature of the topics that typically arise on this forum, but we should consider how an excessive amount not only holds us all back but also does harm to everyone here, including all the lurkers who read and never contribute.

The "optimism" was in @Wolfer's thinking when the escort played the "friend" card. It's natural and completely expected for him to have trusted the "friend" angle after their various interactions because of the various biologic, emotional, & psychological impressions from those interactions. Huh? I specifically said to learn from this experience and try to identify the "warning signs" so that @Wolfer would be better prepared in future interactions. In other words, I encouraged the development of some Defensive Pessimism in these kinds of interactions. It depends on the lecture and how she reacts because if she's "excessive" that has long-term implications for the child's development in a variety of ways. In purest terms, if the mother hadn't interfered, the child's reflexes would've protected from serious injury and the child would've learned a very valuable lesson in a profoundly impactful way. But, since she did interfere, her lecture and reaction hopefully conveyed the right sense of urgency to prepare the child to better assess the world around her without excessive negative emotion or thinking. If you're suggesting some of the harsh replies in this thread are concerned parents trying to help, then I would say they are excessive and their "influence of parent socialization" skills display maladaptive pessimism that will negatively impact healthy development. https://bio.rutgers.edu/~gb102/lab_5/103am-pns.html https://my.vanderbilt.edu/developmentalpsychologyblog/2014/04/how-do-you-affect-your-child/ https://my.vanderbilt.edu/developmentalpsychologyblog/2014/05/parental-influence-on-the-emotional-development-of-children/ http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1080/01650250114300003

Thank you @Wolfer for sharing your experience. I'm sorry some people decided to be so aggressive in their replies, but that's life. Our species needs optimism. It's critical to our success as a species. Defensive Pessimism has it's place too, but don't let it rule your life because pessimism is corrosive. As with all things, it goes without saying that optimism in moderation is healthiest. https://healthypsych.com/the-science-of-optimism/ The challenge with this hobby is that it mixes emotions, fantasy, physicality, and more. It's easy for even the most rational and cautious of us to be duped because our species is predisposed to trust those who are objectively attractive, that's part of our species and it's hard to override. http://news.rice.edu/2006/09/21/rice-study-suggests-people-are-more-trusting-of-attractive-strangers/ Don't beat yourself up too much. Try to learn from the experience. Identify the "warning signs" so you're better prepared the next time you decide to dive into this intriguing fantasy world.

He's also on RM. He used to go by a different name, but I don't remember. Cris or something like that. https://rentmen.eu/Philmuscle

Stop reading my mind. It's a scary place.

No I do not and I discourage my family from doing it too, because it's generally regarded as a bad habit that can contribute to various health issues. https://www.lifehack.org/324449/4-reasons-why-crossing-your-legs-bad-for-you

Well said and damn, you're a lucky muthafucker.

@inquirer, cheers to you for taking the risk. Presumably, he's new to the business so his protocols are probably spotty. For me, I would want to confirm he understands safety, seems responsible, and is frequently tested. It appears he's only into being sucked, which is safer than other forms of sex. However, there are many STDs that are easily transmitted via unprotected oral sex. I would want to be comfortable that he understands those risks and understands the responsibility he has to be regularly tested and honest to clients. I'm intrigued because he comes across as a straight guy who just wants to be sucked off, which can be fun a time or two, especially with a massive cock like the one in the pics. Also, I would not invite him to your home, nor give your real name, and use a burner number. But, I'm very discreet and cautious so I'm very careful about such things.

That link doesn't go anywhere. Maybe the profile is gone?

On the contrary, these examples of haptic communication are very "straight" behaviors for our culture and possibly species in terms of physicality as a display of comradery or celebration, and sometimes as a display of dominance, all of which fit cleanly and neatly into human psychology, sociology, and sexuality. For example, it's highly unusual to see "butt slaps" in women's sports or even in "less masculine" sports like golf or gymnastics. But, they're common in men's baseball, men's football, and men's basketball. https://melmagazine.com/en-us/story/a-cultural-history-of-butt-slapping-in-sports http://bodylanguageproject.com/nonverbal-dictionary/body-language-of-bottom-slapping-or-bottom-pinching/ https://mentalfloss.com/article/51141/why-do-athletes-slap-each-others’-butts

Welcome to the forum! Some quibbles from my limited understanding. Sexuality isn't completely fluid because that suggests a degree of mobility that isn't typical for most people. It's frequently flexible, but like all human experiences, it has limits, boundaries, and "normal" ranges of behavior. It, like much of human experience, seems to have biological, psychological, and sociological aspects that vary from person to person, but generally falls within certain ranges that we can roughly categorize and estimate from culture to culture. Attraction can arise from all sorts of things and frequently varies when we're discussing sexual attraction versus romantic attraction versus platonic attraction, though overlap is quite common as well. Arousal is a whole other area, that again, seems to have biological, psychological, and sociological components and frequently involves overlap with what "attracts" one person to another. Yes, the fetishization of "straight guys" is frequently due to the association of "real men" or masculinity with "straightness" and it also tends to be coupled with internalized homophobia, but not always. Obtainability also factors in because our species places various "premiums" on "hard to get" or "out of my/your league" candidates. In other words, some men who have sex with men may pursue "straight guys" for a wide variety of reasons, such as self-hatred to seeking validation from a "real man" or even "proving themselves" by "bagging a straight guy." The list goes on and on. That's the wonderful complexity of our species. And it's proving incredibly challenging to unpack and understand as we dig deeper and deeper into what makes us human.

Are you attempting a bestiality joke? I am not remotely zoophilic. It's completely repugnant. I have written many times about the complexity of human sexuality. Sexual orientation is only one facet of that complexity. I use the avatar pic I use because it shows--to me--a "thinker pose" in a simian "relative" of ours that seemed fitting given what some other forum members were saying to me when I joined long ago in the ancient past.

Names have power because our species labels things as part of our intellectual processing of the world we perceive. The terms you used are not generally accepted nomenclature but if they help you explain your perspective of my life, knock yourself out. I remain happily married to my wife, raise my kids as best I can, and continue to spend quality time with my friend.

My longest term "regular" is a guy I met at a professional networking event years ago. He identifies as straight and I've met his girlfriends--including the woman who's pregnant with his kid--and he's been very versatile over the years. I'm the only guy he's had sex with and we've done everything. He's an incredible kisser and it's been quite "eye opening" for me to learn how much I enjoy being kissed by him as he fucks me or I fuck him. I still identify as bi and he identifies as straight. Sexual orientation isn't all there is to human sexuality.

Indeed. That's why I mentioned perception. When we're talking about professional escorts, their sexual orientation is part of their branding. They'll say whatever they think best appeals to the customers they're trying to attract.

I've never heard of Hero, but based on your avatar name, I'm going to guess it's some kind of massage establishment in NYC. Sorry that happened to you.

Sadly true. I vaguely recall seeing him mentioned here on the forum before, but only as a name of a guy who violated discretion before by posting client details. I don't ever recall seeing him, but I don't watch alot of gay porn from studios. The same sex porn I watch is usually of the amateur variety found on sites like xtube.

What so many seem to be forgetting or discarding in their rush to judgement or willingness to ignore the facts is the reality that it's entirely possible to fuck up, make terrible mistakes, and still be victimized, which is precisely what I've been saying all along. victim | ˈviktəm | noun a person harmed, injured, or killed as a result of a crime, accident, or other event or action. • a person who is tricked or duped: the victim of a hoax. As I have said repeatedly, the young man made many poor decisions while he was traveling on a plane to work. He was off duty but in uniform with ID because he was a deadhead. As others have pointed out and I agreed, he represented the airline because he was in uniform and presumably was told repeatedly during training that in uniform he represented the company. Unless Austin caught the "consent" discussion on video, this is a classic case of he said, he said. The young man absolutely screwed up, but it is also highly likely he was victimized by Austin Wolf in that he was probably tricked or duped into believing Austin Wolf was a trustworthy guy. The young man has said in various reports that he did not know he was being recorded and did not consent to being recorded or uploaded online. I imagine he was smitten by the tall hot muscle daddy and if he knew about the recording--which he denies--was probably told it was for "private use" or some such nonsense. The facts remain, Austin Wolf recorded sex with a young man in uniform on a flight and published it online. I seriously doubt Austin has video of the young man consenting to being videoed or being published online. If he does not have such documented consent, then those two acts are crimes in many jurisdictions. Further, Austin Wolf knowingly performed this sex act on a plane in a restroom, which is usually considered public space and therefore also another crime. As I said above, the young man deserved to be reprimanded and fired for his misconduct, but that does not change the fact that he was victimized by Austin Wolf when Austin Wolf uploaded the videos, doing lasting harm to the young man's professional & personal reputations.

But that presupposes the young man knew him as anything other than an attractive tall muscled white guy he was attracted to. I know nothing of Austin Wolf as a "porn star," but after this illegal and unethical PR stunts of his, I definitely know him now as someone I would never hire because he has no care for discretion at all.

I've written about sexual orientation and sexual activity orientation before. So, I'm not going to get into that aspect of this scenario. Instead, I'm going to touch on the perception aspect, since that's what this is really all about. In other words, many of us have a thing for "straight guys" because of cultural and social expectations around masculinity. For me, I have a thing for "straight guys" because my preference is for a masculine guy with a confident cocky attitude. I like "bros" and grew up around many military guys, so that kind of buttoned up yet intense confidence coupled with "guy" attitude. That leads me to guys who market themselves as "straight," "bi," or "ask me." I'm slowly branching out, but haven't found a "gay" professional who pushes my buttons. I'm sure I'll get there one day. Please remember, I'm talking about how a provider markets themselves because it's entirely possible for guys who identify as straight to engage in same-sex activity, depending on their sexual activity orientation and the incentives/pressures involved.

I used to run branding and marketing for a major corporation, I see, understand, and agree with your perspective. That is one of the risky decisions he made that was clearly a mistake. As someone who used to fly very frequently, I've seen and even had sex up in the air. But, situational awareness matters and is usually something that only comes with experience. The young man was naive and Austin--who should've known better--was selfish. While I am indeed something else and something special--I've even been called amazing or awesome sometimes--I return to my points, which seem to have been ignored. Austin Wolf recorded the activity possibly without consent. Austin Wolf posted video(s) online, again apparently without consent. Austin Wolf didn't respect the identity or safety of the person he was having sex with in those videos. That is how this young man was victimized. Those are all violations of trust. Another Delta employee even said in one of the articles I read that it wasn't the sex that's the issue--because it happens--it was the video with the clearly identifying frames that resulted in the young man's firing.

I'm guessing it's a spelling issue. You spelled masseur correctly, I imagine the person you're interested in didn't. Is this him? https://rentmasseur.com/TheMassuerMike

I'm expanding/explaining my perspective based on what I've read. The facts are what the facts are and all the rest is guessing on our parts. I wouldn't be surprised if he did know, but I'd wager a fair chunk of money that Austin Wolf probably told him it would remain private. Again, it's a question of trust. Sadly, the kid chose poorly and the likely much richer Austin Wolf proved he didn't care about the young man at all after he busted his nut. Again, why are you blaming the victim? Sure, he should've removed his ID as he was entering the bathroom. That's something a seasoned public sex slut would do. Notice how he moved it once he realized Austin was recording and putting the camera in a position that perfectly captured the ID? I'm speculating, but I bet this young man was naive and too under the influence of his own horniness to consider all the angles. He trusted Austin and that was clearly a mistake. Again, I come back to the fact that Austin Wolf was much older and experienced. He was horny and wanted to "join the mile high club" or even just bust a load. He's the one who recorded the whole thing. He's even the one who placed the camera where it would perfectly capture the young man's ID. He also is the one who uploaded the video(s) and he didn't even bother to blur or cut out the identifying frames. The far more relevant question, Why didn't Austin Wolf blur the ID? Or even cut out the incriminating frames?

He was off-duty according to the report. I'm guessing a deadhead in airline lingo. He was probably traveling for work to the next airport he was assigned to for his next shift. In those cases, being in uniform and with his ID would be pretty standard, especially for a brand new employee who's still learning the rules. Sadly, he made many poor choices. As another Delta employee said, he would've done it too. It was the video(s) being published and circulated around Delta that got the kid fired. Yes, the young man made mistakes, but it was Austin Wolf who recorded without consent. It was Austin Wolf who published the video(s) without consent. And it was Austin Wolf who didn't even bother to respect the young man enough to edit the video for discretion. To go even a bit further, Austin Wolf supposedly posted these videos to his twitter and his justfans sites, right? Then, they were for business, a form of online social marketing to enhance his brand. So, he illegally made a porno or marketing material on a flight without permission and without the other actor's explicit written consent. Again, I grant the former Delta employee made many bad choices and deserved at least a stern reprimand and probably even the loss of his new job. But, Austin Wolf has likely broken multiple laws in this little stunt. As a potential client--I like guys taller than me--I definitely would never hire him just for the breaches of discretion let alone all the other poor choices he made.