LivingnLA

Yes. It's a form of policing cultural constructions like gender identity. It happens all the time. https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/megasahd-why-americas-culture-of-shame-is-killing-us/

I may be outdated, the research in human sexuality is hard to keep up with nowadays, but the whole concept of "top" and "bottom" doesn't really have a biological basis. They're culturally constructed concepts based on a whole host of biases, assumptions, and ideas around gender, sexuality, power, pleasure, and more. Physiologically, generally speaking, pretty much any man is capable of "topping" or "bottoming." Psychologically, it's a very different matter because cultural/environmental experiences are more powerful. For example, and speaking in a grossly general way, research is leading to an idea about psychological issues and their psychosomatic expressions as a driver in ED cases, though that doesn't minimize physiological causes. I contend "psychological issues" drive stated preferences for "topping" or "bottoming." Personally, my "kink" preference for "straight guys" is coupled with a very deep and vexing complex of issues I've been working on for many years around wanting to "submit" to a "real man." Thanks to this forum, this hobby, and my experiences, I have made a great deal of personal growth around these issues. Thank you to everyone on this forum for being part of this personal journey.

Huh. This thread has gone in some interesting directions. I have no idea if what I'm about to type out will add, divert, or detract from the discussions. Let's find out. The idea that "straight guys" have an intrinsic hotness is constructed, just as their hotness is by the heteronormative culture within which we all live. Are there some biological foundations for stuff? Sure. We are social primates after all. Our evolution has resulted in a species with multilayered emotions and reactions. Our society is heteronormative, it should be no surprise "straight guys" are highly attractive to many people. When historic homophobia, sexism, racism, classism, lookism, and ageism are added, it becomes clear that "straight guy" is just one of many constructed images of attractiveness. Image is mediated and constructed. It's reasonable, given how attractive "confidence" is to our species, that people who "seem naturally attractive" (which really just means they closely align with a given culture's constructed "ideal") are seen as desirable. Switching to another topic: consent. Modern thinking is moving toward "enthusiastic consent" as a more complete, equitable, and humane understanding and approach to relationships. It will take decades of thought and effort to fully explore this complex topic as we attempt to construct a society that respects personal and professional boundaries for all human beings for the first time in history. This is an incredibly difficult concept because we are tackling fundamental animal characteristics from the earliest development of our species. The idea "the strong dominate the weak" privileges physical prowess, which underpins the desirability of muscular/strong men. As we continue to move into a future where we claim to value an individual's rights, we as a society must overcome these "baser animal instincts" when they put people in harm's way. I thoroughly believe in enthusiastic consent. I teach my children about it and encourage them and everyone in my life to understand it and value it because research shows how it makes relationships safer, happier, and healthier for all parties in the relationship. It's trickier in this particular hobby, since there is the clear power dynamic: clients have money (power) that escorts (need/want). I rationalize--yes I understand my own bias in this--my "hobby" by actively supporting efforts to fight human trafficking and by trying to make sure that my actions and words do not support an exploitative interaction or situation.

@keefer, welcome to the forum and welcome to this part of the journey of your life as you discover/explore your total sexuality. I was an "exclusive top" for well over 30 years. In fairness, being married to a woman clearly influences my choices. Though, even my same sex activity had me as a top. It wasn't until one day a good number of years ago when I was fucking one of my marine buddies, that I realized how much fun he seemed to be having and how into it he was AND how I was doing all the "work," he liked to be tied up so his options were limited. I'm getting off track. Anyway, I became curious. I learned that I love to suck cock and that I'm pretty damn good at it. Anal sex took research and patience. I've posted on all of this before, so let me provide some links and a summary. Anal sex involves smooth muscle tissue. You do not have conscious control of smooth muscle tissue. If you force it, you will injure yourself and likely create a psychosomatic block or issue that makes future activity more difficult. Smooth muscle tissues need time, patience, and for you to feel safe and secure. Don't hire a hugely hung guy who's new to fucking guys for your first time. You need to be in a place that you feel safe with a guy who you're comfortable with and at a pace that keeps you relaxed. Lube is your friend. Lots of it. A top who has experience making great first-times is what you want. Generally speaking, an average person has roughly 6" of length from their anus to the "back" rectum wall. After that, you get into the sigmoid colon, which requires some time/practice and a top that knows how it feels when everything "lines up" for deep 6-7"+ fucking. In other words, a top with an average 6" cock on up to an even above average 7" would be fine for most positions. Though, since your emotions/thoughts play into this, please don't get a guy who you're scared about his size. That will just add complexity to the situation. Lastly, some people swear by poppers and while it's true they do help smooth muscles relax, there are a variety of health issues and other considerations. I would encourage you not to use them during your first few times bottoming until you're comfortable with bottoming and ready to explore "add-ons." References: 1. Don't use desensitizing lubes or other products. And also avoid lubes containing jojoba. 2. Don't douche too much or too aggressively. It's much better for you to eat enough fiber consistently. 3. Angles really matter based on the shape of the top's cock. 4. This post contains 4 useful links that are well worth reading. 5. Some useful info about poppers. 6. Slightly more about poppers and adverse interaction with ED meds.

That seems like a price point for a legitimate MT with some training and experience in the LA area. Given how attractive he is for those into his type, he will definitely get clients fast.

Highly oversimplified but nice summary. Thanks for contributing.

Thanks! I think. I do not believe in coercion. Consent should be enthusiastic and informed, otherwise it's at least sexual assault/harassment and potentially rape. Have their been times when alcohol or weed were involved in some of my experiences? Yes. Did I ever engage in sexual coercion? No. That's a line I refuse to cross. If the OP was asking for suggestions on how to "talk" a straight guy into sex, that's an all-together different matter and not something I would agree with as it enters the gray area of sexual coercion/harassment headed toward assault.

Sexual orientation and sexual activity orientation are independent. They frequently match up, but there are variances. Human sexuality is incredibly complicated. Have I had sexual encounters with men who identify as "straight" and who for all appearances seem to date and prefer emotional/romantic/sexual relations with women? Yes. I have had a variety of experiences over the years. The military, my college fraternity, and other areas of my life have made them possible. Is it possible these guys were or are actually bisexually sexually oriented but in denial? Sure! Our society's deep sexism and hetero-normative expectations make it difficult for many people to self-acknowledge their sexual orientation. Things are slowly getting better, but it will be decades before "people can just be people." I'm more interested in why this topic is being brought up. Is it possible for an "authentic" heterosexual man to have sex with another man. Yes, it's absolutely possible for the vast majority of them to do so, if the situation arises, they are physically capable of performing. In my experiences (maybe a dozen straight guys over 30 odd years), all of them have cum when we've been together. A few have felt guilt or other negative emotional responses. Some have wanted to do it again. One guy, I've known now for 7 years. For me, this is a sexual kink that was formed early. I desire interactions with straight guys and seek them out and probably will for the rest of my life. I know some of them may be bisexually orientated and I even knew one "straight" guy who was obviously gay. He admitted it when I called him on it and said he prefers to be in groups of straight guys because he likes to have sex with them too. My "gaydar" is pretty good and after he and I had a good laugh about our mutual interests, we ended up going to a sports bar, had a few drinks, and met a straight guy and his girlfriend who were on vacation. We ended up all going back and having some fun in their hotel room. She really enjoyed seeing her man double-teamed. That was a very long time ago, but it sure was a fun time.

This is what he sent me: 60min is $125 90min is $185 sessions may be extended for 30min repeatedly for $60 ea bath/body scrub is $55 April special: "wiseman package" which is a 2hr session incl. bath/scrub/massage combo for $30 off (185+55-30) = $210

http://la.backpage.com/MenSeekMen/213-861-9600/137341358 https://www.facebook.com/pg/artoftouchdtla/ Has anyone experienced this man's work? He has me intrigued and his text replies seem professional. He makes me think of some places I've been to in Asia. I may check him out when I can carve out time to drive to DTLA. I searched the forum and reviews before creating this thread, but I may have missed something. Sorry

The map makes it look like he's basically in downtown LA, a couple blocks from city hall. West LA is where traffic goes to die. If he's over there, budget at least an hour each way if everything is perfect. Unless you're in the same neighborhood, then you can figure 30min.

He just joined RM and has 1 public pic. I assume he's new to escorting and wondered if anyone had any thoughts to share. I've tried to contact him and haven't heard back yet. https://rent.men/JamesMosher

I've had good experiences with Ryan West and Justin. I think Ryan is traveling right now and I can't find contact info for Justin. I'll dig around. https://www.masseurfinder.com/members/ryanwest.shtml

I haven't been myself, but I've read good things here and elsewhere about TSS in Silverlake. Do some searches here on the forum and see what people suggest because I'm sure some of their guys are "friendlier" than others and their prices can get fairly high. http://www.totallysmoothskin.com/

At the risk of crossing the line into politics... The unfunded Part D expansion signed by President Bush was always going to be a problem because it is a huge driver of cost, in part because Medicare is prevented by law--thanks Republicans--from negotiating drug prices in any meaningful way. http://www.politifact.com/wisconsin/statements/2017/jan/17/tammy-baldwin/tammy-baldwin-federal-government-prohibited-negoti/

His ad seems great, he shows his face in multiple pics, and seems smart. His masseur ad also looks good. I imagine he's new on the scene. The 1 masseur review sounds legitimate, but only time will tell. https://rentmasseur.com/Adrean

His rates are those of a highly educated and experienced MT. $2/min is the going rate for 4+ years of education & 10+ years of experience for a professional therapeutic massage. His pics suggest minimal draping and him shirtless. I suspect his pics are a tease--like flawless--and that he's therapeutic but might do a bit more if he's into the client. Regarding glute work, his pics show Thai techniques, so I bet he uses his knees and possibly elbows for glute work.

Well, PT's can be clinical doctors. I assumed he was going after a doctorate in PT. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doctor_of_Physical_Therapy

Well, if his massage is actually good with real therapeutic knowledge behind it, he's well worth the rate he quoted for an hour. But, if what he calls the "passionate" part is basically a tease, that would be frustrating.

Lol! The number of international students I meet regularly in STEM programs has me used to English quirks in all the professional schools too.

Have you hired him? Inquiring minds want to know.

Very true and well said.

In my jaded life experience, I've found that many fans of psychoanalysis are psychoanalysts because it's a great way to get regular patients on the couch for years on end. While I love discussing the theories, particularly Jung, Fromm, and Horney, in my personal experience and education, I find them not to be very effective at helping without many years of work. They can be powerful for helping someone understand themselves, but that's frequently not why people tend to seek counseling/therapy. As I've said in many posts, I believe in personal responsibility, which is part of why I prefer client (active) versus patient (passive) in these contexts. It also means I prefer the more "active" therapies that have documented efficacy, limited though that research may be. For example, CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), IPT (Interpersonal Psychotherapy), DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy), and ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) have all been incredibly helpful for many people because they are very focused on the client's cognitive and emotional habits/practices/patterns and effective ways to change them.

All good points. One of the reasons I enjoy this forum, so many smart people willing to contribute to the discussion.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/what-doesnt-kill-us/201308/patients-or-clients http://thehealthcareblog.com/blog/2015/03/21/patients-are-not-customers/ http://www.workingnurse.com/articles/Patient-Client-Consumer There's been an ongoing debate for many years about patient vs client vs customer. I'm not a fan of customer in healthcare contexts, I prefer client because it puts us explicitly in the driver's seat and reinforces the point that we are supposed to be making informed decisions and we're not just another suffering human to be saved by the superhero know-it-all doctor. The term "patient" means "enduring without complaint." How arrogant and condescending is that? And look how it forecloses possible solutions and avenues of treatment when we assume everyone seen is enduring something without complaint. But, as with what's happened and happening in education, I worry far more about the corporatization of healthcare than about specific words even as I realize such words have real cultural power. And to return to the thread's topic: I prefer escort because sometimes a session has nothing to do about sex and it's important to make that distinction when I'm looking for a professional who's able to hold my attention intellectually and emotionally during dinner, drinks, or accompanying me in some other activity.