You know, @honcho, it's tough to make a fair assessment of your 1985 self wearing just a Speedo against the buttoned-up 2020 you. You may need to take another picture ... I'm guessing that Speedo is long gone since it appears you were putting it to a rigorous stretch test back in '85, so maybe just keep the red bowtie and lose the rest?
Meanwhile, don't be too hard on yourself. You look just fine at every age you've shown us. And besides, I don't think anyone else here ever qualified to be a HONCHO coverboy.