I really don't know if people assume I am one or the other. I always presumed I was effeminate or at least appeared so but a guy I worked with a long time told me that he did not even know I was gay until I brought it up (not one has anything to do with the other - except in our minds I guess.) However, on the other hand, I am versatile. I used to be an exclusive top. But now if I am going to bottom I want to be with someone who is going to be dominant and for me a dominant guy has to be fairly masculine - or my conception of it. In the end, it all is a fruitless exercise because there are guys that you might classify as "effeminate" who just top. You probably do not want them to top you.