samhexum

DEAR ABBY: My 8-year-old daughter keeps asking me for a smartphone. I'm at a loss about who she would call besides me and her dad. She points out these different kids her age who have phones. They are the same kids I view as ones who will have no curfew, boyfriends at 12 and parents who aren't as involved as we are. At what age do you feel kids should have smartphones? -- INVOLVED PARENT DEAR INVOLVED PARENT: I don't think there is a magic number, but your daughter is definitely too young to have one. Smartphones can be dangerous when they are used irresponsibly. A flip phone, perhaps, for her to contact you in case of emergencies, might be appropriate. Because her friends have smartphones is not a valid reason for her to have one. Before that happens, you must be confident that it will be used responsibly, and that you and her father will be able to review its history. DEAR INVOLVED PARENT: Your daughter obviously wants to go on tinder, no doubt a reflection of the lax moral example you set for her. She'll need the phone to call you to pick her up when she's finished servicing the football team under the bleachers. DEAR ABBY: After my future son-in-law moved in with our daughter, my husband and I stopped by unannounced to visit. He answered the door in his underwear and never bothered to go put on a pair of shorts. We didn't say anything and, of course, didn't stay long. It was close to Christmas, so we bought him a robe and my husband jokingly told him, "We figured you didn't have one since you stay in your underwear when we're here." Even after that, he still does it. I finally told my daughter, "Since he can't take a hint, please tell him to put on clothes when I'm coming over." Since then, when we've stopped by (dropping off the grandbabies) he still doesn't put shorts on. It happened again today. I asked him to please throw on some shorts, and his response was, "You're killing me in my own house," but he did do it. They rely on us to help with our granddaughters, but I'm fed up with having to see him in his underwear. I also don't think he should go around that way around his 6-year-old stepdaughter and his 2-month-old daughter. What are your thoughts on this? -- HURTING EYES IN FLORIDA DEAR HURTING EYES: Because you are doing your daughter and her husband the favor of looking after the grandkids, and you have let them know you prefer not seeing your son-in-law in his undies, your wishes should be respected. However, different families have different standards regarding attire around the house, and you shouldn't judge him for what he chooses to wear in the privacy of his home when you are not around. DEAR PRUDE: You have a daughter; obviously you're familiar with male genitalia. Or has it really been that long?(in which case you need to have a talk with your hubby) As for the kids, GOD FORBID they see dad in his underwear... no sane, well-adjusted adult ever had to experience THAT, I'm sure!

http://assets.amuniversal.com/0d21c7909fd50135f8ec005056a9545d

sar·casm ˈsärˌkazəm/ noun the use of irony to mock or convey contempt.

http://rsmg.pbsrc.com/albums/v25/paularoid/Misc/Animated/ATT00002.gif~c200

My hubby! (I remarried after Jon-Erik passed.) He's adorable & single. Chews gum like a cow's cud during games, though.

Former New York Post gossip columnist Liz Smith, who won her own A-list status with her witty chronicling of the glitterati, died of natural causes on Sunday, her literary agent, Joni Evans, said. She was 94. An affable blonde known for pealing laughter, Smith wrote a column that celebrated her famous friends, from Tom Hanks to Liza Minnelli to Madonna, and was read around the world for more than a quarter-century. Despite her towering reputation, Smith held a lighthearted opinion of herself. “We mustn’t take ourselves too seriously in this world of gossip,” she said in 1987. “When you look at it realistically, what I do is pretty insignificant. Still, I’m having a lot of fun.” Born in Fort Worth, Texas, in 1923, Smith graduated from the University of Texas in 1949 with a degree in journalism and, a year later, moved to the Big Apple. For nearly 30 years, Smith bounced from job to job — publicist for singer Kaye Ballard; assistant to Mike Wallace and “Candid Camera” creator Allen Funt; ghostwriter for Igor Cassini’s Cholly Knickerbocker gossip column. Smith ultimately wrote for nine New York newspapers and dozens of magazines, but it was a stint writing for Cosmopolitan that led to her big break. While establishing herself as an authority on Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton, Smith attracted the attention of the New York Daily News. She started her own column at the tabloid in 1976 — and a gossip star was born. By the 1990s, she began a syndicated daily column that ran in Newsday and the New York Post. The column, which was reprinted across the country and abroad, reportedly earned her more than $1 million a year. Her scoops included Donald Trump’s 1990 split from first wife, Ivana. Later, in The Post, she supported her celebrity friends, including backing Billy Bob Thornton after word got out that he and Angelina Jolie had gotten married and exchanged necklaces adorned with vials of each other’s blood. Smith’s 2000 memoir, “Natural Blonde,” in which she admitted she was bisexual despite having married two men, was a best seller. In an interview with The New York Times this past July, Smith revealed that she was having trouble moving after suffering a minor stroke. “I can’t walk. I can’t talk as well as I used to, but I’m relatively healthy otherwise,” she explained. She also responded to criticism that she was a little too friendly with the celebrities she covered. “I needed access to people,” she said. “And you’re not supposed to seek access. You’re just supposed to be pure and you go to the person you’re writing about and you write the truth. Nobody can do it totally.” “But everybody gives up something to be able to do a job, a demanding job,” she added. “And being a reporter is a demanding, dangerous job. It may be glamorous or put you in harm’s way. I gave up being considered ethical and acceptable, for a while.”

Oh, who the hell cares already? If you don’t want to be sexually harassed or assaulted, don’t go into show business or politics, or associate with anyone in those fields. It’s the victims’ faults— if they’d gone into proper vocations, or associated with decent folk, none of these pesky little dramas would be coming at us like locusts to the pharaoh.

Clip them to your nipple ring(s). (or Prince Albert)

Dear Amy: I am a 31-year-old mom. My two daughters are seven and five. When we go to the beach, I always wear a thong or G-string bottom. My daughters have started to scrunch their bathing suit bottoms so their suits look like mine. When we were shopping for new suits, my 7-year-old asked for a thong or G-string suit, just like the ones I wear. She could not find one in the girls’ department, and was very disappointed. My mother suggested that I buy a regular suit and take it to a seamstress and have it altered. I don’t know if it’s appropriate for a 7-year-old to wear a thong or G-string bathing suit bottom. What do you think? — Wondering Mom Dear Mom: A good and basic rule to remember (in this and all things) is: If you’re wondering if something is appropriate, then it probably isn’t. This applies to behavior and bathing suits. The reason your daughters couldn’t find a thong or G-string bathing suit bottom in the girls’ department is because in this culture thongs and G-strings are considered “sexy,” and thus not suitable for children. Children should be dressed in ways that make it comfortable for them to swim and play. They are not mini-adults, and are not old enough to understand the sort of objectification that often accompanies the suit that you choose to wear. And while I agree that this objectification is wrong, you should protect your daughters from it while they are young. Dear White Trash: It's not enough that you're a tramp, you have to turn your daughters into tramps, too?

A truly good delivery service would give you a choice of deliverers:

Dear Amy: I am a 31-year-old mom. My two daughters are seven and five. When we go to the beach, I always wear a thong or G-string bottom. My daughters have started to scrunch their bathing suit bottoms so their suits look like mine. When we were shopping for new suits, my 7-year-old asked for a thong or G-string suit, just like the ones I wear. She could not find one in the girls’ department, and was very disappointed. My mother suggested that I buy a regular suit and take it to a seamstress and have it altered. I don’t know if it’s appropriate for a 7-year-old to wear a thong or G-string bathing suit bottom. What do you think? — Wondering Mom Dear Mom: A good and basic rule to remember (in this and all things) is: If you’re wondering if something is appropriate, then it probably isn’t. This applies to behavior and bathing suits. The reason your daughters couldn’t find a thong or G-string bathing suit bottom in the girls’ department is because in this culture thongs and G-strings are considered “sexy,” and thus not suitable for children. Children should be dressed in ways that make it comfortable for them to swim and play. They are not mini-adults, and are not old enough to understand the sort of objectification that often accompanies the suit that you choose to wear. And while I agree that this objectification is wrong, you should protect your daughters from it while they are young. Dear White Trash: It's not enough that you're a tramp, you have to turn your daughters into tramps, too? Dear Amy: My husband, his parents and his sister rotate hosting duties for Thanksgiving every year. It’s our turn. My husband and I decided to do something different this year. We did not want to worry about cooking or cleaning up, so we reserved (and paid for) a private Thanksgiving Day dinner at a popular steakhouse. We had no expectation of anyone paying for their meal; we only hoped it would be a good time. My husband mentioned the restaurant plan to his mother, and she immediately said that they would not be participating. She wants a “traditional” Thanksgiving, and said we were “lazy” for hosting at a restaurant. She also told my sister-in-law that we must have money to waste, and is trying to convince her to host Thanksgiving herself, instead of coming to the restaurant with us. My sister-in-law is trying to make everyone happy, and hasn’t committed to anything yet. My mother-in-law has dug in and refuses to even discuss the topic with us anymore. I am hurt by this reaction. However, I do not feel we should change our plans because of her, or just give in, when our intention was to do something nice. What should we do? — Wondering Dear Wondering: You need to realize that it’s possible that if you announced to your mother-in-law that you were hosting at your home but would be serving lobster instead of traditional turkey, she might have a problem. Many people have a specific vision of what this holiday is supposed to be about, and her vision seems to be one of you, laboring over a roasting pan, basting a turkey. But if it’s your turn and whether you want to host this at a steakhouse, a Chinese restaurant or at the Tim Hortons on the highway, then your family should give it a try. I’m not sure why Americans are so dug in about this particular meal; families can gather and bicker in many different dining environments. (You could also probably achieve your basic goals by having this meal catered at your home.) If your sister-in-law wants to give in to her mother’s manipulations and host a Thanksgiving dinner instead of you, then that’s on her. You’ll have to then decide whether to attend, or eat your lonely steakhouse meal. If you decide to attend her meal, then be gracious and grateful. No sulking allowed. Dear Wondering: Who the @#!& has Thanksgiving at a steakhouse? You couldn't find a Dennys in the area? Your MIL's right about one thing-- you must have money to waste-- send some to samhexum; he could use it, and would be very thankful.

Bonnie's boyfriend had tickets to a Warriors game and tells her, "Steph Curry is a famous basketball player." She answers, "Yeah, I know who she is." At the 5:54 mark: http://www.cbs.com/shows/mom/video/GBKqcQ3Dvh228klNfLYR3owMQbP0Ujav/mom-fish-town-and-too-many-thank-you-s/ http://www.cbsstore.com/imgcache/product/resized/000/616/860/catl/mom-pilot-season-1-dvd-050_1000.jpg?k=bbbc0a51&pid=616860&s=catl&sn=cbs

http://synd.imgsrv.uclick.com/comics/cl/2017/cl171112.jpg

I'm surprised nobody answered "Only beer."

Are you talking about IKEA or your local bathhouse?

What exactly is he coaching you to do that he is so overtired? Maybe you should give him a break. Or is it a woman? And why the hell haven't you mastered the process in 15 years? We've heard. http://indiemusic.co/files/2013/02/00-Cheap-Women-CVR-FINAL.jpg

DEAR ABBY: I need your help. Over the past few weeks, I have been vacationing at my mother-in-law's home. The other day I was browsing on her computer and accidentally opened her browsing history. It turns out that she regularly looks at and responds to Craigslist personals. I was shocked when I read some of the perverted requests she has responded to. The language she used would make a sailor blush. Keep in mind, my mother-in-law is a married woman. I don't know how to react. Should I tell my wife? Keep it to myself? Make a fake Craigslist post and catch her in the act? -- KINKS IN THE FAMILY DEAR KINKS: If you disclose this to your wife, it could damage her relationship with her mother. If she tells her mother what you found, it will create a breach in the family. If you trap the woman by creating a fake Craigslist post and she realizes she has been made a fool of, it will not -- to put it mildly -- endear you to her. Let it lie. DEAR KINKS: Tell your MIL to participate in the M4M forums. She'll meet all the kinky pervs she wants, all in a safe environment.

When I ordered from Peapod, I was completely incapacitated by back spasms. I rolled my shopping cart over to the door & out into the hallway, & asked the guy to put everything into the cart so I could use it as a walker and get it over to my kitchen. I don't know what the company policy is about drivers bringing things inside for you. It probably depends on the individual.

TALENT!!! http://rearstable.org/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/rearstable-horny-dude-sucking-two-cocks-at-once.jpg http://www.crazybdsmplace.com/public-pic-6/pic/male-bondage-pics-48.jpg http://fringefamily.typepad.com/.a/6a0105364a8fba970c01910285c751970c-800wi

WTF is a '4 pc heat gun kit'?