Gar1eth

A Doctor's Typical Day On A Corona Virus Ward: A lot of people have been asking me what it's like being on the COVID wards in the hospital, so I figured I'd share what a typical day looks like for me: 6am - Wake up. Roll off of my pile of money that Big Pharma gave me. Softly weep as it doesn’t put a dent in my medical school loans 6:30am - Make breakfast, using only foods from the diet that gives me everlasting life by avoiding all fats, sugars, carbs, and proteins. For details buy my book and check out my shop. 7am - Get to work, load up my syringes with coronavirus before rounds. 8am - See my patients for the day. Administer the medications that the government tells me to. Covertly rub essential oils on the ones I want to get better. 9:30am - Call Bill Gates to check how 5G tower construction is going, hoping for more coronavirus soon. He tells me they’re delayed due to repairs on the towers used to spread the Black Plague. Curse the fact that this is the most efficient way to spread infectious diseases. 10am - One patient tells me he knows “the truth” about coronavirus. I give him a Tdap booster. He becomes autistic in front of my eyes. He’ll never conspire against me again. 11am - Tend to the secret hospital garden of St. John’s wort and ginkgo leaves that we save for rich patients and donors. 12:30pm - Pick up my briefcase of money from payroll, my gift from Pfizer for the incomprehensible profits we make off of the free influenza vaccine given every year. 1pm - Conference call with Dr. Fauci and the lab in Wuhan responsible for manufacturing viruses. Tell them my idea about how an apocalypse-style zombie virus would be a cool one to try for the next batch. 2pm - A patient starts asking me about getting rid of toxins. I ask her if she has a liver and kidneys. She tells me she knows “the truth” about Big Anatomy and that the only way to detoxify herself is to eat nothing but lemon wedges and mayonnaise for weeks. I give her a Tdap booster. 2:45pm - Help the FBI, CIA, and CDC silence the masses. Lament the fact that I can only infringe on one or two of their rights. Oh well, there’s always tomorrow. 4pm - One of my rich patients begins to crash. Laugh as I realize I’ve mismatched her spirit animal and zodiac moon sign. I switch out the Purple Amethyst above her bed for a Tiger’s Eye geode. She stabilizes. I throw some ginkgo leaves on her for good measure 6pm - Go onto YouTube and see coronavirus conspiracy videos everywhere. Curse my all powerful government for how inept they are at keeping people from spreading “the truth” 6:10pm - Go onto Amazon and see that a book about “the truth” is the #1 seller this week. Question the power of my all powerful government. Make a reminder to myself to get more Tdap boosters from the Surgeon General next time we talk. 7pm - Time to go home. Before I leave, sacrifice a goat to Dr. Fauci and say three Hippocratic Oaths. 9pm - Take a contented sigh as I snuggle under the covers made of the tinfoil hats of my enemies, realizing that my 4 years of medical school and 3 years of residency training have been put to good use today. Gman

According to Wikipedia, the band formed in 1989. Robbie was a back up singer. He left in 1995 to go solo. I hope that worked out well for him. He's rejoined them a couple of times for one off performances. Here's Gary Barlow their lead singer and Robbie brightening up our quarantine. (I realize this isn't the original topic of this thread. But it's my thread, so I asked politely and gave myself permission. ) Gman

Jason's speaking voice. Gman

Gary is a part of a group named Take That. They had a number 7 hit, "Back For Good" in 1995. Robbie Williams who eventually went solo and had the hit "Angels" was a member of the group at that time. Gman

A bit of a story-I look at some of the British game shows on YouTube like "8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown" and "Would I Lie To You. These are more like "Match Game" or Tattletales" with celebrity comedians being funny as opposed to regular people a la "The Price Is Right". I follow one of presenters on Twitter. Looking at her Twitter Feed I came across Gary Barlow famous from the British Group Take That. He's been putting up duets on Twitter for fans to take our mind off the quarantine. He's dueted (trioed in one case) with at least two of us Yanks-Matthew Morrison and JC Chasez. These can all be found on YouTube. But I just found a duet of Sweet Caroline with a popular English comedian named Jason Manford. Now Jason has a very, very northern English accent when he speaks. I have to listen carefully to him sometimes to figure out what he's saying. But this duet with Barlow was very good. So I entered a Google Query of "Who Knew Jason Manford could sing?" Well the query populated itself pretty much while I was typing. It had apparently been asked before. And I found he had been a guest on a concert with Alfie Boe-a famous English tenor who's played Jean Valjean in the 25th Anniversary Concert as well as on Broadway. Plus Jason was playing the lead in a touring production of Curtains until it was canceled by the pandemic So here for your delectation is Jason Manford singing "Stars" from Les Miz. Gman

And the question is what type of vaccine are they making. Possibly it's been noted in articles but I haven't seen any specific mention. But if ends up that only a live (weakened) virus vaccine is effective, then possibly people with weakened immune systems won't be able to get it and will need herd immunity from healthy people getting the vaccine. Gman

To me that all goes along with sensual and/or erotic massages. But those actions don't actually tilt over to sex. For me, and it may only be me-but I thought the OP was talking about anal penetration. Gman

I woke up this morning. I was thinking I'd like sex. It's not that I haven't gone over two months before without it. But for the last 4 months before the quarantine, I had it at least once a month. (Please hold the applause). Immediately after my thought, I thought-Having sex with someone not living with you could result in your death!!. So all of a sudden this old joke popped into my (big) head as opposed to the small head who wants sex. There's a joke about an old married couple-Harry and Gertrude Smith. They are still like newlyweds They are married 75 years and in all that time have never missed a night of connubial bliss-EVER. Well Gertrude gets sick and the doctor tells them that having sex would be fatal for Gertrude. So Harry moves out of the bedroom onto the couch. Now Harry is not a man who indulges in, shall we say, self-gratification. He's there on the couch tossing and turning for 6 long months thinking of Gertrude and of their long years and long nights of bliss together. Finally he can't take it anymore. He gets up and starts walking up the stairs to Gertrude's room. At the stair landing he runs into Gertrude. Gertrude says, "Harry dear, I was just coming down to tell you I'm dying." Harry says, " Gertrude, honey, I was just coming up to kill you." Gman

He's a good dancer. But why am I getting the impression his club is located in the 1970's? Gman

I have to hope she had some good years she enjoyed. Gman

So young...? Gman

This song used to make me melancholy when it first came out. I guess it's the subject matter. Now it makes me even more melancholy thinking of that time in my life. Gman

https://www.google.com/search?q=vichy+shower&rlz=1CDGOYI_enUS661US661&hl=en-US&prmd=ivsn&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiNseSzt5bpAhVNCc0KHa4rCFIQ_AUoAXoECBIQAQ&biw=375&bih=638 WOW-those were totally unknown to me. Thank you. Gman

Better link here http://daddysreviews.com/venue/canada/bc/dylan_louis_bc As an FYI, @wearytraveller, in case you didn't know, you can get the exact link by hovering your mouse on a computer over the guy's name on the left side of the screen where all the BC Escorts are listed (or pressing on the guy's name with your finger on a phone). Then you copy and paste as usual. Gman

Pardon my naivety. But what is a table shower? Gman

I think I've found where my lost inches went. He took them. Gman

Even with this being the case, I'm fairly sure that Chips Ahoy are actually smaller than they were. My Mom was a great cook. But for the most part I don't remember her baking cookies that much until my bar mitzvah. My mother must have made a hundred or so cookies of different types. She also did the same for my cousin's bar mitzvah two years later. I remember us transporting them in the car for a 330 mile journey. I grew up on the South Plains of Texas. No real hills. The only time I can remember ever almost 'sledding' is in college when we took a cafeteria tray down a loading ramp leading into a basement storage area one time when it snowed. Gman

Even with this being the case, I'm fairly sure that Chips Ahoy are actually smaller than they were. My Mom was a great cook. But for the most part I don't remember her baking cookies that much until my bar mitzvah. My mother must have made a hundred or so cookies of different types. She also did the same for my cousin's bar mitzvah two years later. I remember us transporting them in the car for a 330 mile journey. I grew up on the South Plains of Texas. No real hills. The only time I can remember ever almost 'sledding' is in college when we took a cafeteria tray down a loading ramp leading into a basement storage area one time when it snowed. Gman

(With Acknowledgment to Melanie for the thread title) I just bought a package of Chips Ahoy for the first time in a long time. These were the go-to cookies of my childhood. I mean yes, obviously my Mom bought Oreos too. But Chips Ahoy were my jam so to speak. And I've noticed this before. But this time it made a big impression. I think the cookies are smaller than they used to be. Anyone else concur? Gman

(With Acknowledgment to Melanie for the thread title) I just bought a package of Chips Ahoy for the first time in a long time. These were the go-to cookies of my childhood. I mean yes, obviously my Mom bought Oreos too. But Chips Ahoy were my jam so to speak. And I've noticed this before. But this time it made a big impression. I think the cookies are smaller than they used to be. Anyone else concur? Gman

Aside from being sticky which is a reason of course, why would you need to shower. I mean unless you cum like a porn star I'd think a wash rag and soap could take care of most of it. Gman

I'm glad it's not just me. Over the years (starting out with CD's) I've usually listened to comedies -Jack Benny, Fred Allen, The Phil Harris/Alice Faye Show, Burns and Allen, Bob Hope, Bing Crosby, Fibber McGee and Mollie, The Great Gildersleeve. I've also listened to some of the Great Courses-Beginnings of Judaism, Roots of King Arthur, Appreciating Shakespeare (listening to that now). I'm fine with them while driving or possibly doing something like the dishes where I don't have to concentrate on the task at hand But just listening on the couch or the bed is snooze city. Gman

It's not just podcasts though. It's also Books, Old Time Radio Shows or The Great Courses on Audible,com. I'm fine (usually) if I'm driving. But I can't listen to them while doing nothing at home, or I fall asleep. Gman

Well I can. But mainly in my car. If I listen outside my car and am not doing anything else, I usually fall asleep. I can do something while listening to a podcast. But then I'm not usually paying attention as much to the podcast. Now I do have sleep apnea. But I use BiPAP. And I normally sleep fairly well with that. So I don't know. May be it's just me. Anyone else have problems? Gman

I just tried to find it, and I couldn't. But this 'bear' meme while somewhat subversive can be found all over the 'net. There are also other sites with similar twisted comics. Gman