What's your voicemail (or answering machine) message?

[samhexum]

[+ Avalon]

I have no idea how to set it up. It has the one that came with it. After four rings "Please leave a message at the sound of the tone". The day and time are way off too.

[samhexum]

When answering machines were first getting popular, and everyone had to have a very clever outgoing message, my then-roommate's brother had a friend who could do a really good Rodney Dangerfield impression. He recorded a message for the brother's answering machine. I called his house, put my receiver's earpiece next to the answering machine's mic & recorded it. It took several calls to get the timing just right. It annoyed my roommate, who hated the original message, so (of course) every time she recorded over it, I'd re-do the whole thing. After awhile, I got the timing down just right.

 

For a few years, every Dec. 31 I'd have ABBA's Happy New Year in my message.

 

I think my best message was:

 

You are getting sleepy,

Very, Very sleepy.

Your eyelids are closing,

You can barely keep them open.

At the sound of the beep,

You will leave your name, date of birth,

And credit card number...

(BEEP)

 

Another favorite began with a snippet from Donna Summer's The Hostage:

(Phone rings)

Donna: Hello

Male voice: Lady, we've just kidnapped your husband. Have $800,000 ready by tomorrow night. And lady, no police, or you'll never see your husband alive again. (click)

Donna: Hello?

(Dramatic music begins playing)

Me: You think YOU have problems? HA! Well, lighten up, leave your name and number at the beep, and I'll get back to you.

 

Edited July 29, 2018 by samhexum

[+ poolboy48220]

Mine's as short as it can be, "This is poolboy, leave a message". Anyone who can't figure out that I'm not answering the phone, or what to do without my instructions is probably someone I don't need to talk to.

[TruthBTold]

Mine has always been (and truthfully it is because I am to lazy to try to figure another one out and record it) - "I am too lazy to come to the phone, please record a message and I will get back to you as soon as practicable. Thanks."