More frequently being asked for my picture and tiered pricing for VGL

[Wolfer]

Lastly, you're still going through with it so it can't be that big of a nuisance.

Actually I ended up cancelling, but also because of some other stuff: he wasn't using his own pictures in the ad (but he did send pictures of himself through private chat). His default session length was half an hour, with an hour being an option (this made me think he'd just want to rush through).

Trying to iron out the details of our session through chat felt like pulling teeth and of course then he became curt.

I wasn't feeling it anymore after all that.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Asking for details about your hook up is not rare and should be the norm. I prefer they know about me. I don't want someone where I discust them but they go ahead with it anyways like it's some assembly line.

 

Disgust is a little dramatic.

 

A good escort knows how to extract information from email without having to resort to making people feel like shit about themselves.

 

That's being a pro.

[caliguy]

A good escort knows how to extract information That's being a pro.

Yes and I think were both on the same page.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Yes and I think were both on the same page.

 

Page 69, I believe

[caliguy]

Page 69, I believe

http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/tmi.gif

[adventurous old guy]

Page 69, I believe

As opposed to 22, where we were stuck earlier in this thread.

[big-n-tall]

If some working guy asked me right off for a picture, I would decline. If he asked me after a bit of communication, I would decline. If we communicated long-term back and forth, I just might send a picture, depending on the rapport.

 

I have had 4 people, from the escorting/porn world, ever ask for a pic before a meeting. One of those 3 doesn't count because the business relationship was never going anywhere. He was a cam worker I befriended and he was curious to see what I looked like. He's like part of my family now and we meet up frequently (purely platonically).

 

A second webcam worker I have a long-standing working relationship recently has been saying he wants to meet me for in-person extracurricular activities. He has never seen me, but I've seen plenty of him. LOL! He's told me a lot of his personal info well before he asked for a pic. So I sent him a pic recently. We're planning on getting together early next year.

 

In the third instance, an escort and pornstar (who lives in another country), he and I had been literally communicating for months before he was due to arrive in the US. Weeks before we met, he eventually asked. He had hit it off so well I was ok with sending him the pic.

 

Lastly, an ex-Randy Blue actor turned escort asked after a brief back and forth for a full body pic. I told him no. He contacted me twice after I declined the 1st time trying to get me to send the pic.

I declined again both times.

 

To the OP...

As others have said... go with your gut. If you were uncomfortable, cancel the appointment. Which you did. So I think you did the right thing.

[SteelFan]

I always send pictures beforehand. I suppose being turned down over text is better than being turned away at the door in my book. And showing what I look like helps me gauge how interactive they might be.

[+ Gar1eth]

In my experience the very best escort dates have been with those providers who asked nothing about my appearance. If they did ask something about me it was what I was into and what I liked to do in the bedroom.

In contrast every single time an escort asked me for pictures or stats it was either an underwhelming or downright bad experience.

It could be coincidence, but it's happened enough times now to raise a big red flag whenever I'm asked to send a picture.

 

In a regular hookup I totally agree since men are visual. But when I'm hiring I'm looking specifically to not be judged based on my appearance. It defeats the purpose of hiring for me. Might as well go on Grindr and be ignored for free.

 

But yes, not every provider probably can get into it with every type of client. If that is the case, it probably is better for the provider to ask for a picture and base his decision on that. But from my side, it's a pass from now on.

 

When I was hiring, I always used to provide a verbal description of myself. I always told them I was fat and unattractive. My saving grace was that the eye in the middle of my forehead was usually closed.

 

Gman

[rvwnsd]

At this point I end the discussion - be it regarding a photo or anything else. My experience is that once a vibe of mutual respect and warmth disappears that it's hard to pull it out of the ditch....

 

I do the same.

 

This is not the norm.

 

This remains the exception. Just keep that in mind.

 

Agreed. In more than twenty years of hiring I've only been asked this on three or four occasions.

[+ sync]

My paranoia is too great for me to submit a photo. Photos today can be/are used and abused non-consensually in a variety of ways.

[adventurous old guy]

Not sure I agree that asking for pic is a big exception anymore. It's trending up in my experience.

[+ glutes]

I just tell them I am a 27 year old surf boy, and send this pic:

 

 

(They can fib, why can't we?)

[Wolfer]

Not sure I agree that asking for pic is a big exception anymore. It's trending up in my experience.

That's recently been my experience as well.

[DMICS]

 

In a regular hookup I totally agree since men are visual. But when I'm hiring I'm looking specifically to not be judged based on my appearance. It defeats the purpose of hiring for me. Might as well go on Grindr and be ignored for free.

 

But yes, not every provider probably can get into it with every type of client. If that is the case, it probably is better for the provider to ask for a picture and base his decision on that. But from my side, it's a pass from now on.

 

Well said.

[Guest europeanman]

Whatever happened to, 'He who has the money makes the rules?'

Money is just money. A commodity. There is so much money in the world. Beauty is the ultimate power.

[Drained Empty]

I have no idea why but many escorts I know or know of here and in Europe do not like Asian clients. I never ask why because it's a subject I'd rather drop.

 

I do know that personal hygiene of clients is most escorts' main concern.

 

This is exactly why I state my race before I meet with anyone (even a masseur). Let's face it, many guys aren't into Asians. Or actively "do not like" them, as Tasso wrote.

 

It could be for many reasons; people may presume we have small dicks, are effeminate, are super clingy or desperate, etc.

 

Despite been on the receiving end of these macro- (a white guy literally put his hand in my face, several have given me fake, far away addresses) and micro-aggrsssions (a disapproving "look" -- you know it when you see it) for years, every rejection still stabs, so I avoid it when possible.

 

I know escorts to who travel to San Jose (Silicon Valley) and they get a lot of young clients who are Asian or SE Asian and apparently they don't do as well on Grindr and because of that they have to pay.

 

I assume you mean the "they" in "they don't do so well on Grindr" are Asian. See above. Asians are pretty much the lowest rung in the gay hierarchy, with possibly SE Asians below. And because of that, providers may charge extra.

 

I'm in Silicon Valley regularly, and can tell you Asians and SE Asians are the overwhelming majority in some areas. This is reflected on Grindr. So if you are a white (or latin) provider you are seen as extra desirable (as most Asians aren't into other Asians as well) and can set rates accordingly. Also, keep in mind incomes are higher there as well.

 

It's a unique plight gay Asians face (i.e. I doubt any of you have ever received a message asking if you're into your own race) but I don't want to wallow in it too much in this thread. I actually got banned for "playing the race card" before when I was just explaining my unique situation.

[adventurous old guy]

This is exactly why I state my race before I meet with anyone (even a masseur). Let's face it, many guys aren't into Asians. Or actively "do not like" them, as Tasso wrote.

 

It could be for many reasons; people may presume we have small dicks, are effeminate, are super clingy or desperate, etc.

 

Asians are pretty much the lowest rung in the gay hierarchy, with possibly SE Asians below. And because of that, providers may charge extra.

 

I'm in Silicon Valley regularly, and can tell you Asians and SE Asians are the overwhelming majority in some areas. This is reflected on Grindr. So if you are a white (or latin) provider you are seen as extra desirable (as most Asians aren't into other Asians as well) and can set rates accordingly. Also, keep in mind incomes are higher there as well.

 

It's a unique plight gay Asians face (i.e. I doubt any of you have ever received a message asking if you're into your own race) but I don't want to wallow in it too much in this thread. I actually got banned for "playing the race card" before when I was just explaining my unique situation.

Gosh, it made me sad to read these posts over morning coffee. Have heard it before but just can't wrap my head around bias at this depth. On a purely visual level, Asian physical features are extremely attractive to me, in part because they are so different from my features. Just sayin.

[MikeBiDude]

Polls are no longer allowed on the forum, not even on the politics section.

This is what happens when a privilege is abused

[+ quoththeraven]

I don't understand the prejudice against Asians either other than as an extension of the perception that they're not masculine, but as someone who is part Asian I find Asian men more attractive than the average guy, not less.

 

When people say their preferences aren't the result of racism, I cringe. They may not be changeable, and they may not be the result of conscious racism, but they're still racist.

[marylander1940]

This is what happens when a privilege is abused

 

If you read the whole post I wasn’t complaining about it I was just informing @purplekow about the policy of no more polls allowed.

 

It’s up to the management to decide how this forum works I couldn’t agree with you more.

[MikeBiDude]

If you read the whole post I wasn’t complaining about it I was just informing @purplekow about the policy of no more polls allowed.

 

It’s up to the management to decide how this forum works I couldn’t agree with you more.

Agree

[+ Gar1eth]

 

When people say their preferences aren't the result of racism, I cringe. They may not be changeable, and they may not be the result of conscious racism, but they're still racist.

 

That's like saying that because you think roses are pretty and peonies ugly you are prejudiced against peonies. Now I'll admit that ideas of beauty are usually culturally based. But to say that because you aren't attracted to a certain type of person is due to racism, seems to me going just a bit too far on the claim of racism.

 

Gman

[+ quoththeraven]

That's like saying that because you think roses are pretty and peonies ugly you are prejudiced against peonies. Now I'll admit that ideas of beauty are usually culturally based. But to say that because you aren't attracted to a certain type of person is due to racism, seems to me goint just a bit far on the racism supposion r but a lot

How is culturally based not racist, at least in the American context?

[marylander1940]

@Drained Empty

 

We always appreciate your sincere and thoughtful posts on this and other subjects!

 

As an American I couldn't be more grateful with all the amazing things new Americans (mostly form SE Asia and East Asia) are doing for all mankind in Silicon Valley!