Mourning period for a stillbirth?

[Guest]

I was covering for the absent father today (12/31/18). When I'm covering for another health care provider, I usually try to send him or her an internal e-mail, since this will give an expected return date (i.e. "the person you are trying to e-mail will be out until mm/dd/yy"). Apparently he's now not expected back until March. I don't know if that changes anyone's opinion. If not, is there any period of time which you would view as suspicious? 6 months? A year? Sky's the limit?

[+ FreshFluff]

It’s very possible that his wife asked him to stay home during this time because she needs him.

 

As for timing, what are your practice’s policy about paid and unpaid FML? A few companies offer over five months leave to longtime employees.

[Rudynate]

Many years ago, I worked with a wonderful woman who I thought the world of. Her daughter was murdered - stabbed to death. I think having your only daughter stabbed to death would probably be at least as traumatic as having a stillborn child. She came back to work after about a week. I remember I was dreading her coming back, because I had no idea what you would say to a mother who had just lost her daughter to a violent crime. But that was a while ago. People tend to take more time off from work in general than they used to - they arrange their schedules to be off for five or six days at holidays and that sort of thing.

[Guest]

I’d be more suspicious if his chosen venue of recovery was a tropical locale until after the last snow storm

 

Out of curiosity, is he being paid? Is a temporary physician being brought in to cover?

I don't know where he'll be spending all of those months. I would be curious to find out. Thank God he won't be paid after he uses up sick time and vacation time. If we let employees be the sole arbiters of how long to take off, tons of people would abuse the privilege. The complexities of working in a health care system don't really allow for fill-in doctors to be hired where I work. The absent physician's patients just get bounced around other doctors, whose patients will therefore have that much less access. I called the other employee I trusted to ask his opinion on this. He said that the amount of time off, while "quite unusual," could be accounted by the physician's "emotionally fragile" character. He also described him as "very religious."

I've never in my 30-year career been asked by a patient for a similar amount of time off. If I did encounter this situation, I would say something like "Since this seems to be such a huge stress for you, you seem to need some assistance seeing a counselor or psychiatrist. I'll OK 3 weeks off, then leave it up to your counselor or psychiatrist to advise how much further time off is needed." I did have one patient come up to me and ask for months off for a back problem, with a very specific return to work date (she insisted that there was a specific date, months out, when she somehow knew she'd be able to go back to work). I told her that since this pain was so disabling, she would have to receive therapy of some sort (physical therapy, chiropractic care, orthopedist, back specialist, physiatrist, acupuncturist, etc.), and that I would let the person treating her problem evaluate the situation and make the decision as to when to go back to work. I do know of doctors who would just let the patients fill in the date of their choice, though, without showing any evidence of any attempt to treat the apparently disabling problem.