I hope I'm not being unkind...

[+ WilliamM]

But that is more of an exception than the rule. Common wisdom is that it's better for longevity of a relationship to have known each other longer than that. Whether that's borne out in actuality, I'm not sure.

 

Moving in together quickly while both people maintain their respective seeking arrangements status tells me it is borne out in actually.

 

Hope not, but it is different to think otherwise by what we know in this thread.

[Guest]

Well, today he asked if we could have a dog. That suggests to me he's serious. Of course, I'll be happiest when I meet his straight friends....

[rvwnsd]

...I don't get to read their messages; I only know that there is a message (and I've received over 400 in the last year). I do enjoy the sometimes hot pictures. ..

I was about to say the same thing in reply to [uSER=12155]@Dominiking[/uSER]'s thread when I re-read your original thread. In it you said (Red boldface added by me for clarity):

 

...I can't read any of the messages I'm being sent. I can see messages sent on Houseboy and Silver Daddies, and when people send me messages, I usually respond that I'm with someone. I do enjoy getting the messages, and looking at the sometimes hot pictures of those who respond, but I can't respond on SA unless I want to pay. Well, the pudgy dude told me I should take down my profile on SA if I can't respond. I enjoy the messages, and don't lead anyone on, although it is true I can't communicate with those who send me messages. I also don't think that those who send me messages even know I can't see their messages. I've literally had hundreds and hundreds of messages since I met my partner.

Is it unkind to keep my profile? I'm not leading anyone on, and it's not my fault SA's policy is that I can't read or respond without paying. FWIW, I know my partner still has his profile, although he says he's not active on it either.

So, do you get and read the messages or don't you?

 

Regardless, I still don't think there is anything wrong with either one of you keeping your respective profiles up as long as you are both OK with it, nor do I think you are being unkind or misleading. Unless you actively send messages to other guys and then tell them you are unavailable then, IMO, no harm no foul. However, you might want to ask yourself (and your partner) why you are keeping these profiles given you are in a committed relationship.

[Guest]

I was about to say the same thing in reply to [uSER=12155]@Dominiking[/uSER]'s thread when I re-read your original thread. In it you said (Red boldface added by me for clarity):

 

 

So, do you get and read the messages or don't you?

 

Regardless, I still don't think there is anything wrong with either one of you keeping your respective profiles up as long as you are both OK with it, nor do I think you are being unkind or misleading. Unless you actively send messages to other guys and then tell them you are unavailable then, IMO, no harm no foul. However, you might want to ask yourself (and your partner) why you are keeping these profiles given you are in a committed relationship.

I can see the messages on Houseboy and SilverDaddies. I didn't say, but I thought it was implied, that I can't on Seeking Arrangements. I only know I've received a message. It says "Please upgrade your membership to read." And, as I said previously, I like to see who's responded, and look at the pictures. It doesn't bother me that he hasn't taken his other profiles down; however, not having met his straight friends is a source of discomfort for me.

Edited March 10, 2019 by Unicorn

[marylander1940]

Well, today he asked if we could have a dog. That suggests to me he's serious. Of course, I'll be happiest when I meet his straight friends....

 

Actually meet his family back home (as others have posted) will be better sign.

 

@Unicorn [uSER=12155]@Dominiking[/uSER] @rvwnsd flirting with others is ok even in a monogamous relationship.

[+ purplekow]

I am surprised you have the time to read through all those messages. There must be some secondary gain if you are bothering to read them, enough so that eliminating them is something you prefer not to do.

Keep them, don't keep them, that is up to you. In a different time, keeping one's little black book would have been considered poor form after settling down with that special person. I guess in the electronic age, it is not such a big deal except as to why one would need to continue to read messages of interest from strangers. Then again, we are all doing that here.

[+ WilliamM]

Actually meet his family back home (as others have posted) will be better sign.

 

@Unicorn [uSER=12155]@Dominiking[/uSER] @rvwnsd flirting with others is ok even in a monogamous relationship.

 

To be fair to Unicorn, he would be justified in not liking it from his SO.