EFFEMINATE VS MASCULINE

[+ WilliamM]

Actually my gaydar is terrible I always assume guys are straight unless is just waaay obvious they're not.

 

Waaay obvious: Truman Capote and surprisingly Mary Martin's husband, Richard Halliday. Mary and her first husband were Larry Hagman's parents.

[MrMattBig]

mattbig... not overyone would we identify per say as masculine or feminine in trait. your question was what were the characteristics of each and i really still dont believe one has to ask that. we all know.

You are right, we all know what characteristics we would normally characterize as masculine or feminine. There's nothing wrong in sharing ideas or examples of what we "already know". And it's also especially important to point out and acknowledge there are exceptions outside the norm like you just mentioned. To draw a conclusion from what you said about outside the norm, not everything that "we know" is really what we know.

[Gymowner]

Fully understand matt. I think rephrasing into a subjective question or questions would have opened up more dialogue than an objective question.

 

Do you like masculine men or effeminate men? And why so?

 

But all is good. I wasnt trying to disrespect or put you down. Cheers!

[+ Gar1eth]

Not quite.

One of the replies insisted masculine goes hand-in-hand with muscle, which is not true. You can step into most gay environments and see that men dress and act the part of what they want to attract. While some are not as clockable as others, there is a gimmick to attracting a potential mate. And with so many “masc 4 masc” bros pushing their agenda because their masculinity is frail (which is a feminine quality btw), you now have effeminate men trying to blend...all for the sake of some penis. Some of the most muscular guys I know are undoubtedly the most feminine. I’ve also met straight men who sound like complete pansies. So.

 

 

Another example: you have some of the wealthiest men in the country that work in the tech industry in silicone valley walking around in Dockers and a Fruit of the Loom tee. Just because someone is not gaudy in their presentation and wears dingy clothes doesn’t mean they’re poor. It means they’re wise.

 

Attracting a mate is apparently a gimmick I know nothing about.

 

As for the straight men who sounded like pansies- did they also act like pansies-and were you sure they were straight?

 

There was that documentary on 'The Gay Voice' where they showed the sensitive guy with a 'gay' voice who was straight (surprise). The fact that he was brought up without a strong male role model was introduced as a possible reason for the way he was. And they showed a macho -more rugby looking guy who was gay. But what if these two were outliers? Outliers wouldn't necessarily invalidate the fem/gay and butch/straight stereotypes if it's true for a majority or even a significant number of gays and straights.

 

Gman

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

This thread will end well.

[good ol boy]

masculine

[Bearman]

Masculine. As a homosexual male I like men who look and behave like men. Women don't appeal to me, so men that look and behave like women or have female characteristics and mannerisms don't interest me. I don't care if a man I'm with is the biggest bottom in bed, but damn it act like a man! This is my taste and preference.

Edited May 31, 2019 by Bearman

[hypothetically]

This thread will end well.

 

Like most. ?

[rvwnsd]

I prefer men who do not feel the need to act one way or another and, instead, are themselves.

[Bearman]

I prefer men who do not feel the need to act one way or another and, instead, are themselves.

 

Oh but it's not an act! If they're acting then they are not themselves and who likes fakes?! I like men that it is their nature to behave like men and be men! That's what we mean by "acting like men". Just like nobody deliberately acts effeminate if it's not their nature unless they're doing it in jest. I'm a masculine man and I don't decide to be this way over being effeminate. It just they way I grew up and it's the way I am. So if people "feel the need to act" as you put it, they aren't being themselves and just pretending to be "butch". .

[hypothetically]

I keep reading “I’m a masculine man!” and visualize Gaston from Beauty & The Beast with that ponytail and perfectly crafted eyebrows.

 

One of my favorite quotes from Michael Kaufman:

Masculinity doesn’t exist. At least not in the way we think it exists. There is no timeless definition of manhood. It varies from culture to culture, era to era. It’s simply how we define manhood and how we define the relations of power among men and between men and women.

That means that masculinity (like femininity) is a collective hallucination.

 

I invite everyone to read this article.

 

[bendable2019]

Oh but it's not an act! If they're acting then they are not themselves and who likes fakes?! I like men that it is their nature to behave like men and be men! That's what we mean by "acting like men". Just like nobody deliberately acts effeminate if it's not their nature unless they're doing it in jest. I'm a masculine man and I don't decide to be this way over being effeminate. It just they way I grew up and it's the way I am. So if people "feel the need to act" as you put it, they aren't being themselves and just pretending to be "butch". .

 

Thanks for that @Bearman ...we can add that there are also men who can’t deny their effeminate nature... we respect them for who they are...and there are those who are masculine when with other men but become different when they are with fellow effeminates... Just sharing my observations..xoxo

[+ José Soplanucas]

LOL. It is amusing to read so much concern about manners, and specially how easily we make up our own "reality" when actual reality does not adjust to our "norms". We are so confident, besides, about our own "masculinity" LMFAO! We talk about "them" when we address the ones who are supposedly "effeminate", and we are so "supportive" and so "tolerant" of them. I am moved.

 

I know what I am talking about, I am very masculine.

[+ José Soplanucas]

This thread will end well.

I just made my contribution to the happy ending.

[Epigonos]

When all is said and done this thread is basically a silly waste of time. There is NO absolute universal definition of masculine and feminine. These terms mean different things to different people and even different things to the same person at different times. I may look into a mirror and see myself as Mr. Mucho-Macho while the person standing next to me sees screaming faggot. People are what they are and so be it. Why must we try to define them?????

[Bearman]

LOL. It is amusing to read so much concern about manners, and specially how easily we make up our own "reality" when actual reality does not adjust to our "norms". We are so confident, besides, about our own "masculinity" LMFAO! We talk about "them" when we address the ones who are supposedly "effeminate", and we are so "supportive" and so "tolerant" of them. I am moved.

 

I know what I am talking about, I am very masculine.

 

Do you know us all? Interesting because I don't remember ever having met you! You seem threatened by masculinity.

Anyway, I'm comfortable in my skin and with who I am.

[hypothetically]

now are there effeminate gays that life weights and get muscular..yes. thats outside of the norm. .

 

Ummmm outside of the norm??

Where?? Alabama???

@Gymowner have you ever trained at a gym in New York City, Los Angeles, Dallas , Miami, Chicago? Hell, in some of these cities, effeminate men weight lifting outweigh the “masculine” men lifting. Surprising hearing this from a gym owner.

[Gymowner]

I never had this experience owning 4 gyms that were outside of chicago.

 

That being said... go to quads north side of chicago, gyms in Wilton Manor FL, Worlds gym in Palm Springs etc....sure. these are pocket areas heavily populated with a gay community. So does it exist...yup. still outside the norm. My gyms and all the gyms I now can say I'm just a member at in Las Vegas are LOADED with hot muscle monkies all the way up to full fledged bodybuilders. I can assure you, no purses fall out of their mouths.

[MidwestCoastal]

All of that. Mannerisms and tone of voice, definitely. Also, confidence. And, yes, clothes as well. Facial and body hair, maybe.

 

There's so much that figures into it. But I think mannerisms and voice are the biggies.

 

'Confidence'? As a totally separate trait or are you saying 'confidence' is inherently masculine or feminine?

[+ José Soplanucas]

Do you know us all? Interesting because I don't remember ever having met you! You seem threatened by masculinity.

Anyway, I'm comfortable in my skin and with who I am.

 

Nop. I am threatened by stupidity, but I do not feel threatened here. I am not the one talking about his "masculinity".

[+ José Soplanucas]

Aww... you feel insulted. Girl, you need to grow a thicker skin.

My apologies.

Mi intention was not insulting you, but just to put in evidence that you have issues with being "masculine".

[Bearman]

Nop. I am threatened by stupidity, but I do not feel threatened here. I am not the one talking about his "masculinity".

 

Ooooo… Seems like I struck a cord there! So if I said I was "queeny" and was attracted to effeminate men, you'd have no verbal attacks and erroneous opinions?! Gee, should I judge you though we've never met by your ethnicity and taste in men of lets say "certain ethnicities"? People are how they are and like what they like, like it or not!

[Bearman]

Aww... you feel insulted. Girl, you need to grow a thicker skin.

My apologies.

Mi intention was not insulting you, but just to put in evidence that you have issues with being "masculine".

 

 

Your childish. (Among other things). Thank you for exposing your true nature to us all and making my case. Enough said.

[+ Gar1eth]

When all is said and done this thread is basically a silly waste of time. There is NO absolute universal definition of masculine and feminine. These terms mean different things to different people and even different things to the same person at different times. I may look into a mirror and see myself as Mr. Mucho-Macho while the person standing next to me sees screaming faggot. People are what they are and so be it. Why must we try to define them?????

 

Yes, you are right -but also wrong. There are general characteristics that most people recognize. And while there might be individual outliers-attitudes within a society/community are usually somewhat cohesive (or at least they used to be before the advent of the internet/easy travel/etc). If they weren't, societies would never have been able to agree on standards of beauty. And again-not everyone in a society may agree that a particular person is beautiful. But there will usually be broad agreement.

 

The operative phrase is again society/community specific.

 

 

A little off the subject but an escort whose ad formerly stated something similar to " like most European men I'm interested in fashion". The ad has since changed. And he seems to be popular if RM reviews can be trusted. But I don't know if I would have hired him as I'm the farthest thing from being metrosexual/into fashion.

 

Gman

[hypothetically]

I never had this experience owning 4 gyms that were outside of chicago.

 

That being said... go to quads north side of chicago, gyms in Wilton Manor FL, Worlds gym in Palm Springs etc....sure. these are pocket areas heavily populated with a gay community. So does it exist...yup. still outside the norm. My gyms and all the gyms I now can say I'm just a member at in Las Vegas are LOADED with hot muscle monkies all the way up to full fledged bodybuilders. I can assure you, no purses fall out of their mouths.

 

Interesting, I lived in Wilton Manors right off of Oakland Drive for several years and trained at both LA Fitness and Island City Fitness with “hot muscle monkies” that were gay as blazes (not that it matters, my masculinity isn’t frail and I love all men), but I don’t own a gym...so what do I know? (Eye rolls....but masculine, as to not startle anyone)