How difficult is getting married in California, in practice?

[Guest]

Well, he still hasn't come out to his parents yet, and has less than a week at his house in South America before (hopefully) coming back to me. But we still text daily, so I'm still assuming that he's serious about getting married. His studies should end this December, although his F1 student visa is valid until next summer. I asked an immigration lawyer if it would be OK if we had our wedding in late May. He suggested getting a quickie wedding right after his studies end, then having a more formal wedding for friends and family later. He said "I'm a big fan of Vegas weddings for this."

I looked up weddings in Vegas, and it can, indeed, be done in a matter of hours. I'm not so clear on how complicated in might be in California. One website I looked up said "Licenses must be signed by your officiant, who is responsible for returning the license to the County Clerk within 10 days of your California wedding ceremony. Examples of acceptable officiants include—but are not limited to—the following:

 

A minister, rabbi or priest belonging to any religion

A current or retired judge

Commissioner of civil marriages

A United States magistrate

A California congressperson"

Does that mean it takes a few days? How long does it take to see a judge? Any of you get married recently in California? Any of you wanted a quick wedding? Any advice? BTW, my fiance just told me he'd tell his parents Tuesday or Wednesday.... I've been going out of my mind waiting for this.

[craigville beach]

congratulations, I think are in order

[Epigonos]

May I offer my congratulations as well.

If I were you I would follow the advice of the immigration attorney with whom you spoke. Marriage in Las Vegas is a one stop affair. Here in California nowadays everything dealing with the government is complicated and frequently expensive.

[rvwnsd]

According to the San Diego County website, you can get married the same day you apply for and receive the marriage license. If you choose not to get married that day, you have up to 90 days to get married. You both must appear in person and have photo ID. Should you choose to have the ceremony in Riverside County (home to Palm Springs), the same requirements apply, but you will spend an extra $20. Note that marriages are performed in Palm Desert, not Palm Springs, as the local county offices are located in Palm Desert.

[Rudynate]

In SF, you have to make an appointment over the Internet to apply for your marriage license and pay in advance. As I remember, the marriage license issues right after application. Once you have the marriage license, you just go get married. If you want to get married at City Hall, you have to make an advance appointment. The wait can be a few weeks.

[Guest]

Yikes. If it takes a few weeks, might as well make a quick trip to Vegas. We don't have to do the whole Star Trek wedding thing! I'm also making an appointment with the family lawyer for the pre-nup, of course.

 

 

http://wedding-splendor.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/art1.jpg

[Guest]

[marylander1940]

@Unicorn congratulations!

 

What will you say when asked by an INS officer “how did you guys meet?”

[+ Charlie]

We got married right after licenses began to be issued in California in 2013, so there were lines of applicants at the local county Recorder's office in Indio when we showed up on Tuesday, but the commissioner had set up special arrangements to handle them all. We both had to appear in person, with an acceptable witness (in our case, a friend who was a retired lawyer), fill out the forms, pay for the license, and we had it certified right there. We three needed to show ID (you also need to provide divorce papers from a previous marriage if necessary). Because we wanted a civil marriage, we could have been married right there and then by a Deputy Commissioner for Civil Marriages, but we would have had a long wait that day, and I had neglected to wear white . So we made an appt to be married the following Monday, when we returned with two friends as witnesses (only one is legally required). There was a short standard ceremony, which we had been given a copy of when we made the appt; the officiant was a Deputy Commissioner, in a robe, and took about ten minutes; it took place in a room set up like a small non-denominational chapel, with seating for a number of people if you had invited others to attend. And then it was over, and we were legally married, with an official printed certificate--after 45 years of living together in sin.

[+ Charlie]

According to the San Diego County website, you can get married the same day you apply for and receive the marriage license. If you choose not to get married that day, you have up to 90 days to get married. You both must appear in person and have photo ID. Should you choose to have the ceremony in Riverside County (home to Palm Springs), the same requirements apply, but you will spend an extra $20. Note that marriages are performed in Palm Desert, not Palm Springs, as the local county offices are located in Palm Desert.

One can make arrangements in advance to be married at the city hall in Palm Springs by the mayor. We were married at the old county office in Indio, which has since been torn down (alas! so much gay history destroyed!), and has been relocated to Palm Desert. Edited August 12, 2019 by Charlie

[Guest]

Easy to get into, hard to get out of...

[rvwnsd]

One can make arrangements in advance to be married at the city hall in Palm Springs by the mayor. We were married at the old county office in Indio, which has since been torn down (alas! so much gay history destroyed!), and has been relocated to Palm Desert.

Can you get the license at City Hall, too?

[Guest]

@Unicorn congratulations!

 

What will you say when asked by an INS officer “how did you guys meet?”

I'm not ashamed of the truth. We've been living together ever since, with multiple romantic vacations together, including a 2-week Caribbean cruise with 12 islands, so I don't think there can be any question that this isn't a sham marriage.

[Guest]

Easy to get into, hard to get out of...

Hopefully it won't come to that...

[MscleLovr]

Congratulations. I’m in very similar circumstances to you @Unicorn. I’ve been with my much younger man for over 5 years now.

 

I'm also making an appointment with the family lawyer for the pre-nup, of course.

 

The advice from my lawyer was categoric: pay for him to get good legal advice separately from another lawyer, and get the agreement signed long before the actual wedding. This helps to make the agreement enforceable should things go wrong later.

 

(My lawyer described cases where the agreement had not been followed in the courts because the poorer party did not have the benefit of separate legal advice, or where it had all been done in the lead-up to the wedding.)

[marylander1940]

I'm not ashamed of the truth. We've been living together ever since, with multiple romantic vacations together, including a 2-week Caribbean cruise with 12 islands, so I don't think there can be any question that this isn't a sham marriage.

 

I'm aware of that.

 

I just wonder what will you say when the INS asks you how you guys met...

[+ Charlie]

Can you get the license at City Hall, too?

No, one can get the license only at the county office.

[Guest]

I'm aware of that.

 

I just wonder what will you say when the INS asks you how you guys met...

 

The truth. He was a foreign university student who needed to find a way to continue his studies when his funding ran out. We met on seekingarrangements.com, and eventually fell in love. Incidentally, he finally came out to his parents today. The only time I felt more relieved was when I got my first medical school admission letter. Unfortunately, they seem to have taken it badly, but we expected that. He doesn't come from one of the more forward-thinking countries, and his parents are old-school. He hasn't told his kid brother yet (22). He's coming back on Monday...

[+ Charlie]

You won't be asked any questions about how you met when you are applying for a marriage license. I assume that after you are married, there will be questions from USCIS (successor to the INS) regarding your new spouse's status.

[Guest]

Yes, I figured. We have a very close relationship and have lots of photos of us in events and vacations together. We've lived together over a year and a half. We've gone on long hikes to all sorts of places, and I, for one, have discussed our love with tons of people: family, work, and friends. I can't imagine our sincerity can be questioned. When we texted today, he told me he had to leave his house and stay at a friend's house due to the hostile environment at home. He said he hadn't told his brother yet. I offered to buy a hotel room if he needs it, but he has lots of friends in the area, so I doubt that will be necessary. I wonder who, if any, of his family will come to the formal wedding in the Spring. Well, he'll be home soon.