TorontoDrew Posted September 16, 2022 Share Posted September 16, 2022 I'm 59 and in decent shape. I workout regularly. Not young anymore so not the toned body I once had I find that the tops my own age only want young guys. The younger guys who want older guys are looking for tops. It's frustrating. Any advice would be appreciated. I have hired escorts and will do so again but don't want that to be my only option. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ Lucky Posted September 16, 2022 Share Posted September 16, 2022 Hey @TorontoDrew I am older than you and haven't seen this problem! Are you referring to escorts or guys you might meet at a bar? For me, all I ever hear is "Fuck Lucky!" + sync, + Charlie, + Vegas_Millennial and 1 other 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TorontoDrew Posted September 16, 2022 Author Share Posted September 16, 2022 Guys in general. Especially Grindr. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ BenjaminNicholas Posted September 16, 2022 Share Posted September 16, 2022 (edited) I'm sure there will be stories of hope told on this thread, but the harsh reality is that in this community, youth and a great body are key selling points. While not impossible to find an age-adjacent date, never have unrealistic expectations. Men are visual creatures. Can you learn to be more versatile? Edited September 16, 2022 by BenjaminNicholas TorontoDrew, + Vegas_Millennial, pubic_assistance and 2 others 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rudynate Posted September 16, 2022 Share Posted September 16, 2022 A few weeks ago, I went to see a massage guy. I knew something was going to happen because his profile said "mutual touch encouraged." I had no idea I was going to get fucked senseless, but that's just what happened. He said, "I knew I was going to fuck you the moment you walked in." I said, in all honesty,"Nobody has EVER fucked me the way you just did." I want back a week later and he did it again. He could get to be a habit. jtwalker, + ButchAtl, + robear and 12 others 14 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TorontoDrew Posted September 17, 2022 Author Share Posted September 17, 2022 3 hours ago, BenjaminNicholas said: I'm sure there will be stories of hope told on this thread, but the harsh reality is that in this community, youth and a great body are key selling points. While not impossible to find an age-adjacent date, never have unrealistic expectations. Men are visual creatures. Can you learn to be more versatile? I think it also goes to the definition of a bottom. To me it is someone who is on the receiving end of anal sex. Everything else is mutual. Is that a bottom or bottom versatile? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ BenjaminNicholas Posted September 17, 2022 Share Posted September 17, 2022 15 minutes ago, TorontoDrew said: I think it also goes to the definition of a bottom. To me it is someone who is on the receiving end of anal sex. Everything else is mutual. Is that a bottom or bottom versatile? I'm sorry, I didn't really make my question clear. What I meant was, are you physically capable of being a top... Fucking someone? Could you learn? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ nycman Posted September 17, 2022 Share Posted September 17, 2022 56 minutes ago, BenjaminNicholas said: What I meant was, are you physically capable of being a top... Fucking someone? Could you learn? I’m happy to teach……grin + DERRIK, + Charlie, thomas and 1 other 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ Italiano Posted September 17, 2022 Share Posted September 17, 2022 (edited) I think that even if it is totally true that especially in the gay world being younger and physically fit (or better super fit!) is the key for success in dating and being desirable, there are definitely exceptions. I am 62, bottom, and even if I consider myself (and am considered) still a decent good looking "mature older" man, of course my face and body are not what they used to be until just a few years ago. And especially because I try to keep my pics updated, my "success" in Grind, Scruff etc is much lower than it used to be too. Also, since the pandemic started the amount of escorts and masseurs I hired (and of my datings) has been quite low. Nevertheless I have in NYC two regular FBs, one in his late 30s and a recent one in his late 20s who are very good looking and who from time to time love making love to me and fucking me. Two weeks ago during another quick work trip to Mexico City I saw again a beautiful Venezuelan man who is now 40, and whom I met for the first time 10 years ago and for the second time 6 years ago in two amazing encounters, and with whom I kept in a sort of regular touch since I met him the first time. When I met him again recently at my hotel I was wondering if opening the door he would have looked at me and run away... It was actually the best of our 3 encounters! And during the past year I also saw two masseurs who clearly enjoyed being VERY intimate with me. Is what happened to me the rule? Do I think that I will be up to a great sex life always? Definitely not, but (so far..) I still have a few bullets to shoot. 🙂 Bottom (pun intended) line is never give things for granted! Edited September 17, 2022 by Italiano dbar123, Luv2play, + nycman and 5 others 5 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ Snbrd Posted September 17, 2022 Share Posted September 17, 2022 I'm the same age and versatile. I only hire tops. That's because I can hook up with younger bottoms, especially since I'm rather hung. But there is competition for tops. Have you considered a bathhouse or sex parties? During the decades-long HIV scare I never considered them. However, with Prep and U=U, they are an opportunity for older guys to play. At a venue like Clubhouse II or resorts in Palm Springs and Fort Lauderdale you will find a mix, admittedly older, of tops, versatile and bottoms. If you are fixated on only younger guys you may be disappointed. + BenjaminNicholas and TorontoDrew 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rudynate Posted September 17, 2022 Share Posted September 17, 2022 I'm not that into young men, so finding partners is lots easier. It just worked out that way. When I was in my twenties, I looked at those old guys in their 50s and 60s chasing guys in their 20s and I realized I didn't want to be those guys when I got to be their age. It has just worked out that I like middle-age and older guys. My sweet spot is mid 40s to early 50s. Since I am 70, to me these guys are young men. Even when you are chasing men closer to your own age, maintaining a high level of fitness is a big plus. TorontoDrew, thomas and caliguy 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ Charlie Posted September 17, 2022 Share Posted September 17, 2022 The simple fact is that whether you are gay or straight, male or female, after a certain age, most younger people are not normally sexually attracted to you. Whether the cause is psychological, physiological or cultural, that is just the way it is. When you hit that certain age differs from one individual to another, based on weight, physical fitness, skin tone, hair (color or lack of hair), grooming, and your personality, which can project "old" at 50 as well as 90. So you might as well make yourself "comfortable in your [wrinkled. mottled] skin." God created escorts for older people with money. + nycman, dbar123, + BenjaminNicholas and 6 others 6 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luv2play Posted September 17, 2022 Share Posted September 17, 2022 6 hours ago, Snbrd said: I'm the same age and versatile. I only hire tops. That's because I can hook up with younger bottoms, especially since I'm rather hung. But there is competition for tops. Have you considered a bathhouse or sex parties? During the decades-long HIV scare I never considered them. However, with Prep and U=U, they are an opportunity for older guys to play. At a venue like Clubhouse II or resorts in Palm Springs and Fort Lauderdale you will find a mix, admittedly older, of tops, versatile and bottoms. If you are fixated on only younger guys you may be disappointed. I would not advocate bath houses or sex parties with Monkeypox still raging in the US particularly in places that are favorite gathering spots for gay men. Even with vaccination(s) they are not 100 percent effective. Why take the chance. It's playing Russian roulette with more than one bullet in the chambers. Redwine56 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TorontoDrew Posted September 17, 2022 Author Share Posted September 17, 2022 6 hours ago, Snbrd said: I'm the same age and versatile. I only hire tops. That's because I can hook up with younger bottoms, especially since I'm rather hung. But there is competition for tops. Have you considered a bathhouse or sex parties? During the decades-long HIV scare I never considered them. However, with Prep and U=U, they are an opportunity for older guys to play. At a venue like Clubhouse II or resorts in Palm Springs and Fort Lauderdale you will find a mix, admittedly older, of tops, versatile and bottoms. If you are fixated on only younger guys you may be disappointed. No problem with older guys, just that so many of them want younger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TorontoDrew Posted September 17, 2022 Author Share Posted September 17, 2022 5 minutes ago, Luv2play said: I would not advocate bath houses or sex parties with Monkeypox still raging in the US particularly in places that are favorite gathering spots for gay men. Even with vaccination(s) they are not 100 percent effective. Why take the chance. It's playing Russian roulette with more than one bullet in the chambers. I'm double vaxed for monkeypox. I'm more worried about Covid as I have reached the age where it can be serious. I am quad vaxed for that but long covid still scares me. So that's left me with apps as one on one is less risky. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TorontoDrew Posted September 17, 2022 Author Share Posted September 17, 2022 4 hours ago, Charlie said: The simple fact is that whether you are gay or straight, male or female, after a certain age, most younger people are not normally sexually attracted to you. Whether the cause is psychological, physiological or cultural, that is just the way it is. When you hit that certain age differs from one individual to another, based on weight, physical fitness, skin tone, hair (color or lack of hair), grooming, and your personality, which can project "old" at 50 as well as 90. So you might as well make yourself "comfortable in your [wrinkled. mottled] skin." God created escorts for older people with money. I've certainly been having my fun with escorts. I'm a regular contributor in The Deli. 😉 Luv2play, + WilliamM, + Charlie and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ Snbrd Posted September 18, 2022 Share Posted September 18, 2022 4 hours ago, Luv2play said: I would not advocate bath houses or sex parties with Monkeypox still raging in the US particularly in places that are favorite gathering spots for gay men. Even with vaccination(s) they are not 100 percent effective. Why take the chance. It's playing Russian roulette with more than one bullet in the chambers. I'm not sure that the Russian Roulette analogy is appropriate when double vaxxed for Monkeypox. Rod Hagen, Cruiser7 and TorontoDrew 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luv2play Posted September 18, 2022 Share Posted September 18, 2022 (edited) I used it because while you may be double vaxxed, one of your many partners may not be and may be carrying the virus. If he is infectious your vax status is not an absolute guarantee of protection. And what if two or more like in a superspreader situation are infected. Being exposed multiple times within a few hours would surely test your resistance. If both you and your partner(s) are vaxxed, there are fewer bullets in the chamber. Edited September 18, 2022 by Luv2play NilsEast, TorontoDrew and Redwine56 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NilsEast Posted September 18, 2022 Share Posted September 18, 2022 4 hours ago, Luv2play said: I used it because while you may be double vaxxed, one of your many partners may not be and may be carrying the virus. If he is infectious your vax status is not an absolute guarantee of protection. And what if two or more like in a superspreader situation are infected. Being exposed multiple times within a few hours would surely test your resistance. If both you and your partner(s) are vaxxed, there are fewer bullets in the chamber. This makes good sense. Thanks for the advice! Rod Hagen and Luv2play 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kingsley88 Posted September 19, 2022 Share Posted September 19, 2022 On 9/17/2022 at 12:08 AM, Italiano said: I think that even if it is totally true that especially in the gay world being younger and physically fit (or better super fit!) is the key for success in dating and being desirable, there are definitely exceptions. I am 62, bottom, and even if I consider myself (and am considered) still a decent good looking "mature older" man, of course my face and body are not what they used to be until just a few years ago. And especially because I try to keep my pics updated, my "success" in Grind, Scruff etc is much lower than it used to be too. Also, since the pandemic started the amount of escorts and masseurs I hired (and of my datings) has been quite low. Nevertheless I have in NYC two regular FBs, one in his late 30s and a recent one in his late 20s who are very good looking and who from time to time love making love to me and fucking me. Two weeks ago during another quick work trip to Mexico City I saw again a beautiful Venezuelan man who is now 40, and whom I met for the first time 10 years ago and for the second time 6 years ago in two amazing encounters, and with whom I kept in a sort of regular touch since I met him the first time. When I met him again recently at my hotel I was wondering if opening the door he would have looked at me and run away... It was actually the best of our 3 encounters! And during the past year I also saw two masseurs who clearly enjoyed being VERY intimate with me. Is what happened to me the rule? Do I think that I will be up to a great sex life always? Definitely not, but (so far..) I still have a few bullets to shoot. 🙂 Bottom (pun intended) line is never give things for granted! That's a good idea to have a few regular FBs and maintain those relationships through the years. NilsEast, thomas and TorontoDrew 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redwine56 Posted September 19, 2022 Share Posted September 19, 2022 1 hour ago, kingsley88 said: That's a good idea to have a few regular FBs and maintain those relationships through the years. Absolutely, it makes for a familiar, comfortable encounter and look at all the $$$ saved. thomas, TorontoDrew and NilsEast 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pubic_assistance Posted September 20, 2022 Share Posted September 20, 2022 On 9/16/2022 at 4:11 PM, BenjaminNicholas said: While not impossible to find an age-adjacent date, never have unrealistic expectations. Men are visual creatures. Can you learn to be more versatile? When I was in my 20's everyone wanted to fuck me. By the time I was 40 everyone wanted me to fuck them. Go with the flow. + Charlie and + nycman 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ Italiano Posted September 21, 2022 Share Posted September 21, 2022 On 9/20/2022 at 2:17 AM, pubic_assistance said: When I was in my 20's everyone wanted to fuck me. By the time I was 40 everyone wanted me to fuck them. Go with the flow. By the time I was 60 I still found men who wanted to fuck me + Charlie, thomas, Phil_musc and 1 other 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coriolis888 Posted September 22, 2022 Share Posted September 22, 2022 On 9/16/2022 at 1:11 PM, BenjaminNicholas said: I'm sure there will be stories of hope told on this thread, but the harsh reality is that in this community, youth and a great body are key selling points. Very pragmatic and realistic, regardless that it is true. + BenjaminNicholas 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kingsley88 Posted September 23, 2022 Share Posted September 23, 2022 That's true in the straight community too. + Charlie 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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