What are your red flags?

[GTMike]

17 minutes ago, Your Man in Arlington said:

Is 12 considered big, as in appealing to the feet-loving people? Are prehensile toes an advantage? If so, I should have been advertising that when I was a provider way too, too many years ago. 😆

Ahh haha yes 100% to many that could've been a great positive influencing factor.   

[buckguy]

A number of years ago, when agencies still existed, I tracked turnover among their providers over the course of a couple years. One thing that stood out was almost half the new guys didn't last a month. Anecdotally, I've noticed that to be a constant over time and I avoid anyone new.  The couple times I did hire new guys, they seemed very disorganized (I may have been their 1st clients in both cases), asking for more time, pics, etc.) which frankly took away some of the desire on my part. So....if someone is truly new, I give them a pass. Let someone else train them up and if they stick around at least a month, I have some faith that they making a go of this. Younger guys (those under about 25) also tend to be less organized as business people--they forget the lube, don't understand how different kinds of cities work, etc. I'm glad I'm not usually drawn to twinks.

What's also clear is that if someone leaves the business, they often return, but frequently it's not for long. Again, I wait to see if they're committed to their comeback tour.

My guess is that many guys have an exit strategy--they plan to do this for a fixed length of time or until they build a nest egg or pay off a debt. A very small number truly make it a profession and many fairly long-term guys have something else going on---they may be writers, artists, students, etc. 

[+ DrownedBoy]

4 hours ago, buckguy said:

A number of years ago, when agencies still existed, I tracked turnover among their providers over the course of a couple years. One thing that stood out was almost half the new guys didn't last a month. Anecdotally, I've noticed that to be a constant over time and I avoid anyone new.  The couple times I did hire new guys, they seemed very disorganized (I may have been their 1st clients in both cases), asking for more time, pics, etc.) which frankly took away some of the desire on my part. So....if someone is truly new, I give them a pass. Let someone else train them up and if they stick around at least a month, I have some faith that they making a go of this. Younger guys (those under about 25) also tend to be less organized as business people--they forget the lube, don't understand how different kinds of cities work, etc. I'm glad I'm not usually drawn to twinks.

What's also clear is that if someone leaves the business, they often return, but frequently it's not for long. Again, I wait to see if they're committed to their comeback tour.

My guess is that many guys have an exit strategy--they plan to do this for a fixed length of time or until they build a nest egg or pay off a debt. A very small number truly make it a profession and many fairly long-term guys have something else going on---they may be writers, artists, students, etc. 

Yeah, I learned that while hiring. I'm to a point where I screen out anyone under 30 unless I research their personality.

In my experience, when young, hot escorts start out, and they find they're really popular, it goes to their head. I can't stand that - they act like they're young on Grindr, while forgetting they're really on RentMen and getting compensated. They think they can be "fashionably late." And too many client enablers let them get away with that. When I was young, I swore I'd never put up with brats, even if they were hot and young. That's been an easy oath to uphold.

After a few years (and as they get closer to the originally-planned "cash out" date), they tend to be nicer and more professional. They also realize the gravy train won't go on forever, and that they aren't as cute as when they started, so they're more humble and realistic as well. 

And, yes, there are many artists, writers, etc. out there escorting. Those jobs are unlikely to ever pay the bills, but it gives them culture that makes for good conversation.

[Aceface]

Are there any obvious or non obvious red flags for not booking someone?

[misterhumphries]

My red flags are pictures that are headless or fuzzy or clearly are composites of two or more different men. As a personal preference any escort who declares himself "straight" while hawking his wares to presumably gay men would NEVER get my business. I am not an ATM. I am not putting myself in the way of dealing with any man's unresolved sexual identity issues.

[marylander1940]

19 hours ago, Aceface said:

Are there any obvious or non obvious red flags for not booking someone?

I've said it before and I'll say it again.

PNP

[socurious]

A lot of these "red flags" aren't really red flags. Plenty of escorts don't like showing their face because of privacy concerns (as simple as that). Oh Lord, I can actually go all day long. 

[Aceface]

Mine beforehand are vague, like when they don’t tell you exactly what they can offer you. I like to be upfront about it so we both know what’s going o happen. I know they probably don’t like to say out of safety. My red flag when I get there is asking money upfront then not being able to “perform” and them not wanting to reduce the rate since they couldn’t do what was agreed upon. 

[marylander1940]

1 hour ago, Aceface said:

Mine beforehand are vague, like when they don’t tell you exactly what they can offer you. I like to be upfront about it so we both know what’s going o happen. I know they probably don’t like to say out of safety. My red flag when I get there is asking money upfront then not being able to “perform” and them not wanting to reduce the rate since they couldn’t do what was agreed upon. 

They can always answer " in my private life I enjoy to be a top"... without having to explicitly say: "yes I'm going to fuck you!"

Unfortunately some potential clients miss the point.

We must always be concerned about the things we say by text because they will remain there forever.

I do understand that you want to make sure you're paying for what you're looking for

[+ DrownedBoy]

4 hours ago, marylander1940 said:

They can always answer " in my private life I enjoy to be a top"... without having to explicitly say: "yes I'm going to fuck you!"

Unfortunately some potential clients miss the point.

So do many unexperienced providers. I never spell it out in texts either, but some younger ones act like a deer in a headlight when I try to be subtle.

[Vin Marco]

7 hours ago, socurious said:

A lot of these "red flags" aren't really red flags.

What is not a red flag for you may and can be a red flag for for someone else. 
 

The question posed here is " what is YOUR red flag?"

 

[Aceface]

2 hours ago, DrownedBoy said:

So do many unexperienced providers. I never spell it out in texts either, but some younger ones act like a deer in a headlight when I try to be subtle.

I think some like to be vague on purpose so they can be in control of whether or not they want to do a certain thing or not. That’s why I like to know so we are both on the same page.

[Wolfer]

Throughout the years I've become weary of having to repeat questions. As in, I'll ask 3 questions and they only answer one. I then repeat the 2 unanswered ones and they then, again, only answer one. I've honed, simplified and made my opening text incredibly efficient, but I do need to know some basic information. It often shows a lack of attention and care, which probably will translate into the session. 

[marylander1940]

5 hours ago, Wolfer said:

Throughout the years I've become weary of having to repeat questions. As in, I'll ask 3 questions and they only answer one. I then repeat the 2 unanswered ones and they then, again, only answer one. I've honed, simplified and made my opening text incredibly efficient, but I do need to know some basic information. It often shows a lack of attention and care, which probably will translate into the session. 

Unfortunately in this day and age most folks can't concentrate and don't have the attention span to read and answer each question. Sad but true!

Sometimes even escorts have to ask potential clients the same questions over and over again:

Where are you?

When are you looking to getting together?

What do you get into?

Good luck finding a potential client who understands the logic of those three basic questions after simply texting: "Hi".

[TonyDown]

I let the red flags posted on this board help guide me.   

And I make sure the posts are from seasoned members.

Beyond that, if the communication is spotty or unprofessional I move on.

If the communication is polite and clear, that is a good sign.

I once had a session with a guy that didn't really seem like he was there.   But I decided to give him another chance.  When I arrived for my 2nd massage he didn't recall booking me.  He offered to schedule a free massage another time but when I got in touch he wasn't able to recall me.    I understand that drug use is common in these parts and I decided that may explain this provider.

That said, I understand many on the board would disagree.  But for me, drug use is my personal red flag.

 

 

 

[misterhumphries]

On 9/13/2024 at 10:48 AM, socurious said:

A lot of these "red flags" aren't really red flags. Plenty of escorts don't like showing their face because of privacy concerns (as simple as that). Oh Lord, I can actually go all day long. 

Nothing is really private on the internet. If one searches long enough and thinks creatively, virtually anything can be found out. The only way to keep your life private is to keep it off the internet. When will people accept this?

[+ keroscenefire]

Flakiness. It's suprising how many guys I contact just take a long time to contact back. If they haven't texted back within 24 hours, I have probably already moved on. It definitely goes both ways here with flaky clients and they ruin it for those who are serious. But when the provider does, it really just shows they may be flaky when they are supposed to arrive at your door.

[Aceface]

46 minutes ago, keroscenefire said:

Flakiness. It's suprising how many guys I contact just take a long time to contact back. If they haven't texted back within 24 hours, I have probably already moved on. It definitely goes both ways here with flaky clients and they ruin it for those who are serious. But when the provider does, it really just shows they may be flaky when they are supposed to arrive at your door.

Yesss, this one if a red flag for me. Some I never hear back from at all. I’m like how do you stay in business if you can’t answer my first text. 

[+ DrownedBoy]

I just saw a new red flag recently.

The provider took an hour to reply, then acted suspicious and demanded to know, first, if I'm a cop, and second, if I lived alone.

Instant ghost. That second question was too creepy.

[bretts2002]

A big red flag for me….new ads of extremely cute young guys that literally check every box listing what they are into.  To me it’s very doubtful that a twink is into everything including water sports and fisting for example.

[Aceface]

37 minutes ago, bretts2002 said:

A big red flag for me….new ads of extremely cute young guys that literally check every box listing what they are into.  To me it’s very doubtful that a twink is into everything including water sports and fisting for example.

Oh I know and there are multiple hot guys that look very similar in your area at the same time. I’m like they must all be working for someone or it’s a set up of some sort 

[moonlight]

3 hours ago, DrownedBoy said:

I just saw a new red flag recently.

The provider took an hour to reply, then acted suspicious and demanded to know, first, if I'm a cop, and second, if I lived alone.

Instant ghost. That second question was too creepy.

Was this an inexperienced or established provider?

[socurious]

A instant red flag for me is if the "client" starts sexchatting or sending unsolicited pics of their private parts and the like. 

Also, when they start sending pictures impersonating dudes that look like young very attractive influencers. 

[ReynST]

On the topic of Red flags .. 😮‍💨

 

[ICTJOCK]

Some great input.   Much appreciate all the replies!