ShortCutie7 Posted April 20 Share Posted April 20 21 minutes ago, Vegas_Millennial said: Large nuclear families are queer today (not the norm) 😉 I never thought of it, but that’s absolutely true! I don’t think I know anyone around my age (mid-thirties) who has more than two kids. + Vegas_Millennial, pubic_assistance and + Charlie 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ WilliamM Posted April 20 Share Posted April 20 On 4/16/2024 at 9:18 AM, marylander1940 said: Most guys in the military put on weight right after leaving service Perhaps men who served only in save places in the United States Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter Eater Posted April 21 Share Posted April 21 21 hours ago, ShortCutie7 said: homosexual since it clearly defines that I am (solely) sexually attracted to other men Sure, but homosexuality isn’t only about sex. + Charlie and + Vegas_Millennial 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter Eater Posted April 21 Share Posted April 21 21 hours ago, Vegas_Millennial said: queer" indeed means strange or different and describes things that are not the norm. The alphabet soup of groups included in the modern GBLT+ now represents the normal attitudes of society Nah, American society remains heteronormative. If wishes were horses… Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShortCutie7 Posted April 21 Share Posted April 21 1 hour ago, Peter Eater said: Sure, but homosexuality isn’t only about sex. I see what you mean, but for me it is because I have never felt romantic love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caramelsub Posted April 21 Share Posted April 21 31 minutes ago, ShortCutie7 said: I see what you mean, but for me it is because I have never felt romantic love. Me neither. I’ve never felt what it’s like to truly be in love with someone intimately. I’ve had many sexual encounters, but never any romantic relationships. For a while I thought I was aromantic, (not to be confused with asexual). Just because I’m strictly into the physical act of having sex, and not the hand holding, cuddling, even kissing, and other acts of intimacy. I see a therapist to help work out these things. She doesn’t think I’m aromantic, but she thinks I have a sex addiction. ShortCutie7 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShortCutie7 Posted April 21 Share Posted April 21 2 hours ago, caramelsub said: Me neither. I’ve never felt what it’s like to truly be in love with someone intimately. I’ve had many sexual encounters, but never any romantic relationships. For a while I thought I was aromantic, (not to be confused with asexual). Just because I’m strictly into the physical act of having sex, and not the hand holding, cuddling, even kissing, and other acts of intimacy. I see a therapist to help work out these things. She doesn’t think I’m aromantic, but she thinks I have a sex addiction. Funny thing is, for me kissing is the most important part of sex. I’d define myself as homosexual/aromantic in that I don’t see myself getting married or spending the rest of my life with anyone. I don’t look at a hot guy and have the desire to do anything with him other than make out and have sex… I have friends and family to spend time with and generally prefer being alone anyway. But I also definitely don’t have a sex addiction, considering how infrequently I have sex 🤷♂️ thomas and caramelsub 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rudynate Posted April 21 Share Posted April 21 On 4/16/2024 at 5:55 AM, caramelsub said: I don’t believe there is any correlation. I’ve known too many gay men that are oldest, only children, have sisters, are twins, etc. I come from a very large family and I have 3 sisters and 5 brothers. I'm the third child. First and second children are both brothers. + Vegas_Millennial 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rudynate Posted April 21 Share Posted April 21 (edited) 5 hours ago, ShortCutie7 said: I see what you mean, but for me it is because I have never felt romantic love. Prior to meeting my husband, I had been in a few relationships that were all short-lived - the longest was a few months and I would characterize them all as flirtations or infatuations. At some point, I diagnosed myself as having a classic gay man's fear of intimacy. Within 2 or 3 years after that I met my husband and we have been a couple for 32 years. Edited April 21 by Rudynate thomas and ShortCutie7 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ WilliamM Posted April 21 Share Posted April 21 On 4/16/2024 at 9:18 AM, marylander1940 said: Most guys in the military put on weight right after leaving service Perhaps men who served only in save places in the United States As a twin, probably doesn't apply to me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Becket Posted April 22 Share Posted April 22 In my neighborhood growing up, all the middle children in every family turned out gay, or at least bi. I've always been intrigued about that fact. + WilliamM, + Vegas_Millennial, + Charlie and 2 others 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter Eater Posted April 22 Share Posted April 22 (edited) On 4/21/2024 at 9:56 AM, caramelsub said: y. I see a therapist to help work out these things. She doesn’t think I’m aromantic, but she thinks I have a sex addiction. She could be right. Often, having promiscuous sex is a way to prevent having an intimate personal relationship. Kissing can enhance the illusion of intimacy with someone you know will not be around in the morning (or in 20 minutes). And frequency of the sex act isn’t what determines sex addiction; acting out takes many forms, including porn, masturbation, failing at relationships, app cruising, street cruising, daydreaming, etc. Hope she helps you out. Edited April 22 by Peter Eater caramelsub, + Charlie and pubic_assistance 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pubic_assistance Posted April 23 Share Posted April 23 1 hour ago, Peter Eater said: Often, having promiscuous sex is a way to prevent having an intimate personal relationship. Is it a way to PREVENT from having an intimate relationship or a way of dealing with the impossible task of finding one ?🤔 marylander1940 and thomas 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peter Eater Posted April 23 Share Posted April 23 23 hours ago, pubic_assistance said: Is it a way to PREVENT from having an intimate relationship or a way of dealing with the impossible task of finding one ?🤔 It’s a way to prevent it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marylander1940 Posted April 24 Share Posted April 24 On 4/22/2024 at 7:05 PM, Peter Eater said: Often, having promiscuous sex is a way to prevent having an intimate personal relationship. Count your blessings, that's better than no (free) sex at all. pubic_assistance 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rod Hagen Posted April 24 Share Posted April 24 On 4/15/2024 at 6:46 PM, Vegas_Millennial said: I have seen similar stories, and it has to do with the mother's built up resistance to a protein made by the Y chromosome from the previous sons. Mothers build up antibodies with each male fetus. The presence of those antibodies in later pregnancies affects the development of the male's brain to become homosexual. We may know why younger brothers are more likely to be gay WWW.NEWSCIENTIST.COM An immune response in some pregnant women’s bodies may explain the “fraternal birth order... Thank you very much, I hadn't read about this study/finding. Very interesting to me, and it was great that they quoted Dean Hammer at the end. I loved his study, and I NEVER understood why gays were so opposed to him and his finding/hypothesis. I have a hard time reconciling Bogaert's Y Chromosome finding/hypothesis, which makes sense, with Dean Hammer's XQ28 ( I used to have that T-shirt!). And so I asked Perplexity, which told me this (but I still don't see the connection): In summary, Bogaert's and Hamer's studies complement each other by providing a more comprehensive understanding of the biological underpinnings of male homosexuality, involving both genetic and maternal immune factors. Their combined research supports the view that sexual orientation has a biological basis, rather than being solely a matter of choice or social/environmental influences. Medin, + Vegas_Millennial and Becket 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Medin Posted April 29 Share Posted April 29 On 4/24/2024 at 6:52 PM, Rod Hagen said: Thank you very much, I hadn't read about this study/finding. Very interesting to me, and it was great that they quoted Dean Hammer at the end. I loved his study, and I NEVER understood why gays were so opposed to him and his finding/hypothesis. I have a hard time reconciling Bogaert's Y Chromosome finding/hypothesis, which makes sense, with Dean Hammer's XQ28 ( I used to have that T-shirt!). And so I asked Perplexity, which told me this (but I still don't see the connection): In summary, Bogaert's and Hamer's studies complement each other by providing a more comprehensive understanding of the biological underpinnings of male homosexuality, involving both genetic and maternal immune factors. Their combined research supports the view that sexual orientation has a biological basis, rather than being solely a matter of choice or social/environmental influences. Thank you for bringing up Dean Hammer. My ex-partner was part of his original study back in the early 90's because he had a gay brother. I was asked to be part of the study because I too have an older gay brother but they had enough participants by the time I tried to sign up. We are both middle children. In the case of my ex, he was the youngest of four brothers and his gay brother was the eldest so they were the opposite. In regards to the potential maternal connection, my mom had three gay brothers so who knows, maybe there is something to that. At this point, nobody knows the reason but the topic comes up on this forum every few months with the usual characters insisting they "chose" their sexual orientation vs. "choosing" their actions/reaction to it. Can someone also explain the so-called "gay lifestyle" to me? I'm gay, my brother is gay..we both came out when we were in diapers. Never had any issues with sexual orientation or identity. Many or most of my friends and plenty of my family are gay. None of us (as far as we know) live a "gay lifestyle" and not really sure what that means. Does that mean we are in a gay relationship? If yes, then I guess we all live a gay lifestyle. Does that mean we use the word queer, watch Bravo, are only interested in going to the gym, walk around with our shirts off 90% of the time and call each other "Bitch"? I've known thousands of gay men during my life but I've never met anyone into that stuff. Every time I hear that term "gay lifestyle" I cringe-always wondering exactly what is meant by that. + Charlie and Rod Hagen 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archangel Posted April 29 Share Posted April 29 I didn’t read any of the topic but I’m jumping in…in good internet form! 🤣 I’m the oldest of three. I have a younger sister and we have a younger brother. Both my siblings are straight. I’ve heard different postulations about birth order and sexuality over the years. Perhaps there’s a statistical correlation, but it well could be circumstantial. Just because something appears doesn’t mean it is. Rod Hagen, pubic_assistance and + Charlie 1 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ WilliamM Posted May 4 Share Posted May 4 I have a ew young gay friend who has four older straight brothers He is. Probably not an escort I would pay to see his ass however Peter Eater 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pubic_assistance Posted May 5 Share Posted May 5 On 4/29/2024 at 1:22 PM, Medin said: Many or most of my friends and plenty of my family are gay. None of us (as far as we know) live a "gay lifestyle" and not really sure what that means. If most of your friends are gay, you're probably living the lifestyle of a gay person. Both my wife and I dabbled in same sex relationships and decided it wasn't for us. Neither of us enjoyed that lifestyle habit where gays only socialize with other gays. Thats where "gay lifestyle" starts: Isolating yourself from mainstream society. Bokomaru 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ Charlie Posted May 5 Share Posted May 5 When I hear the term "gay lifestyle," I think of someone who is openly gay, has gay friends, is or has been sexually active with other men, and probably has a male partner or is searching for one. When many straight people hear the term, they probably assume that the person is also a drag queen, likes to wear make-up and clothing that stands out in a crowd, drinks too much, and loves to dance. Bokomaru and + APPLE1 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ nycman Posted May 5 Share Posted May 5 4 hours ago, Charlie said: When I hear the term "gay lifestyle," I think of someone who is openly gay, has gay friends, is or has been sexually active with other men, and probably has a male partner or is searching for one. When many straight people hear the term, they probably assume that the person is also a drag queen, likes to wear make-up and clothing that stands out in a crowd, drinks too much, and loves to dance. It sounds like you think those are two different groups of people? grin “Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself, (I am large, I contain multitudes.)” ― Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass + APPLE1, pubic_assistance, thomas and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Medin Posted May 5 Share Posted May 5 8 hours ago, pubic_assistance said: If most of your friends are gay, you're probably living the lifestyle of a gay person. Both my wife and I dabbled in same sex relationships and decided it wasn't for us. Neither of us enjoyed that lifestyle habit where gays only socialize with other gays. Thats where "gay lifestyle" starts: Isolating yourself from mainstream society. That's definitely not me nor anyone else I know. Maybe that's common in NYC or other cities with large gay populations? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pubic_assistance Posted May 6 Share Posted May 6 2 hours ago, Medin said: Maybe that's common in NYC or other cities with large gay populations? Yes. It's very common in places with large gay populations. Their life starts to revolve around being gay. There's a couple who live on my block. The spend all summer on gay cruised. Oniy go to gay bars, only eat in gay owned restaurants and turn every conversation into a comment about how much better gay people are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ Vegas_Millennial Posted June 6 Share Posted June 6 On 4/20/2024 at 10:23 AM, ShortCutie7 said: Agreed- I always hated the word “queer” in this context. This is especially true in the animal kingdom, where human society has not influenced species with homosexual or bisexual behavior to consider the behavior strange or confusing. Thus, it is not queer behavior for animals. + APPLE1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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