Why is there a major aversion to "old guys" on here?

[Atyla]

My view is that people should have an open mind and not be so fixed. Those who seem to have their preferences and attack those who differ in their preferences aren't really being as funny as they think. That's where people intervene to either educate or set boundaries. People sometimes just repeat and regurgitate without much thought.

When it comes to me, my saying is "you get old if you're lucky", but heart, outlook and even looks can stay fresh. The most dominant factors for me to decide hooking up or hiring can be shallow and that's ok, like having a six pack, but I also look for educated guys. I look for providers who are not married/don't have a boyfriend (the providers who are married/in a relationship were always cold and distant). I look for providers who offer a satisfaction guarantee, so they're confident on what they're doing, so I can care much about price, I have a bit more confidence it'll be time well-spent.

Respect everyone and be nice.

[Thelatin]

9 hours ago, DWnyc said:

Be thankful you have the means to obtain what sees you through, but realize what it is and what it is not. 

Yes, I have been blessed.  I did get sucked into thinking I was in a "relationship" once or twice, ouch.  I've learned to accept it for what it is now, it's been nice.

[+ KensingtonHomo]

12 hours ago, Thelatin said:

I have recently tried a few older providers, so like 10 years younger then myself.  I'll just be blunt.  I enjoyed bottoming as they were very experienced tops.  But I couldn't finish, as I wasn't attracted in the same way as I am to younger very in shape providers.

This is really a matter for your therapist. Because if you're in bed with a skilled lover as you say, you're likely preventing yourself from finishing due to your own psychology. 

[Thelatin]

22 minutes ago, KensingtonHomo said:

This is really a matter for your therapist.

Oh - and where will I find the money for this luxury?  Lol. 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

2 minutes ago, Thelatin said:

Oh - and where will I find the money for this luxury?  Lol. 

Per hour, most therapists are cheaper than an escort. 

[pubic_assistance]

16 minutes ago, Thelatin said:

Oh - and where will I find the money for this luxury?  Lol. 

FYI: Psychotherapy is covered under most health insurance policies.

 

[rvwnsd]

Moderator's Note: Several posts have asked whether the topic is about providers who are 60 and over or men in general. In this post, the OP clarified he is referring to providers.

Now that we have cleared up the confusion, let's get back to the topic and refrain from commenting about each other.

Thank you

[SouthOfTheBorder]

On 5/18/2024 at 12:02 PM, pubic_assistance said:

There is nothing more tiresome than THIS "work and pain" speech you hear from old gay men.

Yes. The old gays did the work and paid the price.

most of my friends are early 60s & late 50s - I’ve never heard the conversation about younger gays being unappreciative or anything similar.  Or, the work & pain speech.  I don’t know anyone who thinks they’re owed something by the younger generations - it’s not even a thought 

 

[pubic_assistance]

19 minutes ago, SouthOfTheBorder said:

I’ve never heard the conversation about younger gays

You're lucky 😃

[+ DrownedBoy]

14 hours ago, rvwnsd said:

Two of the most revered escorts on this forum are 55 or older. Dane Scott is 58 and Jake Mitchell is 55. I can't find DavidInSF's ad at the moment, but he is also 55. Aside from Mike Gaite, I can't think of any escorts who are recommended as frequently as these guys. 

A majority of the time, there are no experiences about any escort that is inquired about. This is a small community, so it makes sense that most members haven't hired most escorts. On Rentmen, there are 27 providers who are 60 or older. That doesn't allow for many inquiries about providers who are >60 years old. My guess is providers either retire or do something else by the time they reach 60. 

 

 

This guy's 54 (older than me), and I'd let him have his way with me any day. EDIT: Not only is he hot, but from his interview, he's also a gentleman.

 

https://rent.men/maturedmuscle

Edited May 20 by DrownedBoy

[Danny-Darko]

30 minutes ago, DrownedBoy said:

This guy's 54 (older than me), and I'd let him have his way with me any day. EDIT: Not only is he hot, but from his interview, he's also a gentleman.

 

https://rent.men/maturedmuscle

Thanks for the link. He is hot and seems interesting too! 

[Danny-Darko]

1 hour ago, SouthOfTheBorder said:

most of my friends are early 60s & late 50s - I’ve never heard the conversation about younger gays being unappreciative or anything similar.  Or, the work & pain speech.  I don’t know anyone who thinks they’re owed something by the younger generations - it’s not even a thought 

 

Actions speak far louder than words! But one shouldn't expect ingrates to recognize anything other might have done for or before them. And I expect nothing from them or this present-day "alphabet squad" that claims to represent us all and dictates to us what we should believe and what our values should be. We once though or at least hoped that future generations would contine the legacy at the very least. I'm a tired old homosexual who has seen too much to expect anything from anybody these days.     

[Jamie21]

9 hours ago, KensingtonHomo said:

This is really a matter for your therapist.

A young therapist presumably? 😉

[mike carey]

2 hours ago, DrownedBoy said:

This guy's 54 (older than me), and I'd let him have his way with me any day. EDIT: Not only is he hot, but from his interview, he's also a gentleman.

 

https://rent.men/maturedmuscle

He was at the Palm Springs gathering last month, and he is indeed a lovely guy.

[Danny-Darko]

55 minutes ago, mike carey said:

He was at the Palm Springs gathering last month, and he is indeed a lovely guy.

Thanks! I saved his profile on RM. He's one of the few men over 50 that I'd be willing to hire besides DavidSF. There are always exceptions to what one usually likes. 

[Simon Suraci]

53 minutes ago, mike carey said:

He was at the Palm Springs gathering last month, and he is indeed a lovely guy.

I agree. I chatted with him in PS last month. He and his client were staying a couple doors down. He’s sexy! 😉 

[Thelatin]

3 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

A young therapist presumably? 😉

Hah - the therapist I’ll take old. 

[Your Man in Arlington]

I am generally looking for providers in their late 20's, or those that at least appear as such.

I've never thought of it as an "aversion" to older providers, though I do have an aversion to facial hair, which most providers seem to acquire once they turn "30." And, I am 100% aware that I'm reliving what was the prime of my adventurous sex life before entering my first real LTR.

It's been a form of "therapy" for me, and it certainly doesn't involve self-hate. If anything, I've become more reconciled and self-accepting of my current age and the effects of the aging since being more directly confronted with the contrast. Better yet, I'm sometimes still surprised by discovering how well things still work or even new, unexpected experiences.

Aside my preferences and perspective, the thread subject reads a loaded question with prejudged answers. Should I seek therapy because I'm not attracted to guys with beards? If I didn't shave, I would naturally grow one. Does that make me self-hating?

Anyone else here read Stars in my Pocket Like Grains of Sand?

[+ KensingtonHomo]

5 minutes ago, Your Man in Arlington said:

It's been a form of "therapy" for me, and it certainly doesn't involve self-hate. If anything, I've become more reconciled and self-accepting of my current age and the effects of the aging since being more directly confronted with the contrast. Better yet, I'm sometimes still surprised by discovering how well things still work or even new, unexpected experiences.

Aside my preferences and perspective, the thread subject reads a loaded question with prejudged answers. Should I seek therapy because I'm not attracted to guys with beards? If I didn't shave, I would naturally grow one. Does that make me self-hating?

From what you’ve said you’re not the subject of this thread. I don’t recall you writing endless posts about how unattractive men your own age are. 

I also do not usually care for facial hair, though I make exceptions. 

But I maintain that if someone has a sexual aversion to people of their own age, they should look very closely at that. It’s not natural and likely internalize homophobia and ageism. 

[Your Man in Arlington]

1 minute ago, KensingtonHomo said:

From what you’ve said you’re not the subject of this thread. I don’t recall you writing endless posts about how unattractive men your own age are. 

I also do not usually care for facial hair, though I make exceptions. 

But I maintain that if someone has a sexual aversion to people of their own age, they should look very closely at that. It’s not natural and likely internalize homophobia and ageism. 

Point taken, my response here was based on that fact that I don't look for or engage "older" providers. And, yes, I'm married to a guy a few years older than me who I find quite attractive.

[pubic_assistance]

9 hours ago, KensingtonHomo said:

I maintain that if someone has a sexual aversion to people of their own age, they should look very closely at that.

It’s not natural

Why not ?

 

 

 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

1 hour ago, pubic_assistance said:

Why not ?

 

 

 

I've explained this before. Putting aside sexual desire for mating, which would have us all attracted to young women with big hips and busts, everything else is socially constructed. We are inundated with media that show highly specific kinds of beauty, which creates these desires - mostly to sell us shit that is not sex. 

[pubic_assistance]

32 minutes ago, KensingtonHomo said:

Putting aside sexual desire for mating, which would have us all attracted to young women with big hips and busts, everything else is socially constructed.

Nature + Nurture

I agree.

People partially are attracted by nature and partially by their experience.

What I don't understand is your insistence that there's something wrong with that.

[+ KensingtonHomo]

13 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

People partially are attracted by nature and partially by their experience.

What I don't understand is your insistence that there's something wrong with that.

There's nothing wrong with finding a younger (or older) person attractive. But having an aversion to people our own age is socially produced largely through capitalist media. If one believes that people their own age are sexually repellant, they also believe that about themselves (or they're a narcissist or sociopath). That's just how our minds work. It also means that long time couples - who have been indoctrinated - are likely to let their sex lives fall apart as they age. And one or both will rationalize this by saying "It's natural that I don't find my aging partner attractive." But none of that is natural. 

The most natural way for humans to live based on archeological and anthropological studies (see the book Sex at Dawn) is in relatively large, multigenerational communities with some degree of primary relationships but also sex outside of those relationships. The resulting children are raised by the community even if they have primary caregivers. 

[pubic_assistance]

5 minutes ago, KensingtonHomo said:

having an aversion to people our own age is socially produced largely through capitalist media.

Sorry. I find this statement ridiculous.

Even in remote countries that lack "capitalist media", older men are busy oggling young fresh faces (and asses).