My first non-paying client…

[coriolis888]

On 6/12/2024 at 3:07 PM, BSR said:

Nobody here (I hope) gets offended when a cashier counts the bills you handed over.  So why is it considered rude or inappropriate for an escort to do the same?

Because it is "classless" and reminds the client that the visit is solely transactional.  Who knows what to expect.  

You cannot logically compare paying a cashier for a legitmate transacation to paying an escort for something that has no recourse if thiings do not go right.  

[+ APPLE1]

Verifying funds, given and recieved, is simply good business practice. It also heads off a lot potential proplems that can easily end a business relationship in the future.

[BSR]

1 hour ago, coriolis888 said:

Because it is "classless" and reminds the client that the visit is solely transactional.  Who knows what to expect.  

You cannot logically compare paying a cashier for a legitmate transacation to paying an escort for something that has no recourse if thiings do not go right.  

"classless"?  That's your opinion, and nothing more.

"solely transactional"?  God forbid we call a spade a spade.  I know the only reason an escort sees me is money.  Any client who can't accept that reality would be better served spending his hard-earned money on psychotherapy.

PS:  I consider the money and services exchanged with an escort to be a perfectly legitimate transaction

[Danny-Darko]

23 hours ago, coriolis888 said:

When you go to dinner together, does he expect you to pay the dinner PLUS another hour of his time for company? 

I had that stunt pulled on me in the past.  I do not take escorts to dinner anymore.  

I always beforehand clarify if or not "his time" starts in the bedroom or with dinner. I also make it clear if or not I'm willing to pay for time during and the dinner. It's a case-by-case basis and sometimes one does pay for just company! There are ways to handle this nicely and I've found all escorts to understand and be agreeable. Few would not agree that terms should be clear and if so, then that's a red flag that shouldn't be missed and the "date" shouldn't proceed any further. 

[Danny-Darko]

On 6/9/2024 at 6:19 AM, viewing ownly said:

I agree with 90% of this. #3 is what I have a difference of opinion on, as I've tried (without success) to do that myself. There are those precious few providers that offer a "quickie" half hour rate, and typically it is 75% of an hour rate for up to 30 minutes of time. This is offered for a couple of reasons by the few that do it. The main one is for the client that's looking to get off very soon and leave. The other is the slim hope that their skills are so great, you'll opt to extend the time if you're enjoying yourself and donate accordingly. 

 

I remember back in the days before everything went online and escorts advertised in the back pages of the local rags. A few escorts offered "Lunch Specials" for 30 min sessions during office hours. Some would offer to either meet at client's office or elsewhere for a quickie. Rates were regular for the full hour though and after regular work hours, if I remember correctly. I never took anybody up of their lunch special but found it great that there was that option if needed. 

[DGHou]

14 hours ago, DrownedBoy said:

If they count it before the session and pocket it, it means you're in for a lousy session. n=4, 1.0 correlation.

I can attest to that!  Those are the ones who probably never have regulars.

[DGHou]

9 hours ago, Danny-Darko said:

I remember back in the days before everything went online and escorts advertised in the back pages of the local rags. A few escorts offered "Lunch Specials" for 30 min sessions during office hours. Some would offer to either meet at client's office or elsewhere for a quickie. Rates were regular for the full hour though and after regular work hours, if I remember correctly. I never took anybody up of their lunch special but found it great that there was that option if needed. 

Now that's the kind of customer service missing everywhere these days!

[Jamie21]

13 hours ago, BSR said:

"classless"?  That's your opinion, and nothing more.

"solely transactional"?  God forbid we call a spade a spade.  I know the only reason an escort sees me is money.  Any client who can't accept that reality would be better served spending his hard-earned money on psychotherapy.

PS:  I consider the money and services exchanged with an escort to be a perfectly legitimate transaction

I agree it’s a legitimate transaction. Some clients like the money part to be minimised and almost a separate thing so that the meeting feels less transactional. I’m fine with that. These guys tend to just hand me an envelope at the beginning or they leave it visible on the side. 

I never count the money while the client is in the room unless he asks me to. Once he’s left I count it and only a couple of times has it been short. I have a clients leave their shoes outside the door (they’re in a safe vestibule). This enables me to count it once they’ve left in the safe knowledge that should it be short I can open the door and find them still putting on their shoes 🙂. It’s the little things that make the difference isn’t it…
 

[+ DrownedBoy]

16 hours ago, BSR said:

"classless"?  That's your opinion, and nothing more.

"solely transactional"?  God forbid we call a spade a spade.  I know the only reason an escort sees me is money.  Any client who can't accept that reality would be better served spending his hard-earned money on psychotherapy.

PS:  I consider the money and services exchanged with an escort to be a perfectly legitimate transaction

Yes - it shows the person doesn't have any class.

Since gentlemanly behavior went out the window decades ago, I suppose many won't understand that.

[+ APPLE1]

I never use an envelope. I try to use large bills. I never leave the cash in a tight neat stack.

I feel like leaving a few large bills, somewhat splayed on a dresser or table, allows the provider to eyeball it quickly and mentally confirm that the amount is correct. Alternatively, if they still choose to count it in front of me, I am not bothered in the least.

[jmichaeliii]

I have never paid a provider in cash, it has always been Venmo or Cash App and I'd say always after with one or two exceptions.  Luckily the few pay aheads have not been an issue.

[BSR]

4 hours ago, DrownedBoy said:

Yes - it shows the person doesn't have any class.

Since gentlemanly behavior went out the window decades ago, I suppose many won't understand that.

Again, you're expressing an opinion, nothing more.  I doubt Amy Vanderbilt or Emily Post ever addressed the topic.

Why is it OK for a cashier to count cash in front of you, but not an escort?

[DFdub]

3 hours ago, BSR said:

Why is it OK for a cashier to count cash in front of you, but not an escort?

Counting does not bother me at all either, but…

Cashiers are collect money on behalf of a business, generally for goods rather than services. When in a services setting, collecting on behalf of others still. So not their money, and the employer likely requires the counting because the cashier must turn in exactly amount at end of shift or risk their job.

I might suggest providers are more comparable to other professional services requiring skill/expertise to be successful. Neither my attorney nor my doctor “count the money” in front of me, and they’re the only other services for which I pay similar rates. 😉

Classless simply by virtue of it being unsophisticated comparatively, not it being offensive outright. I certainly expect my providers to be more sophisticated than a cashier… (though neophytes are nice every so often too). 😁

[+ APPLE1]

30 minutes ago, DFdub said:

Neither my attorney nor my doctor “count the money” in front of me, and they’re the only other services for which I pay similar rates. 😉

I typically pay doctors and lawyers with a card, but I have no doubt that if I paid my co-pay with a stack of $1's and $5's the receptionist would both count it and hand me a receipt for it.

[mike carey]

6 hours ago, BSR said:

... I doubt Amy Vanderbilt or Emily Post ever addressed the topic.

I somehow doubt they ever were, or needed to be aware that money was exchanged, lol.

[DWnyc]

On 6/10/2024 at 5:11 AM, jmichaeliii said:

Normally after the session we have some small talk while I scan his code and make payment.

You could still run out the door, have IT issues with not enough cash on you etc - the session is already over with payment due 

[DWnyc]

6 hours ago, BSR said:

Why is it OK for a cashier to count cash in front of you, but not an escort?

The same warped logic that says providers are a species apart and one can never negotiate with them even if they initiate it while we do on many other situations on a dailY basis.

These are business transactions whatever else we may like to believe  they are in addition. Business rules apply. Service provided upon agreed terms - payment due immediately if not already paid. Shouldn’t be any ambiguity. If either party doesn’t like the terms - don’t see it through to the transaction. 

 

[jmichaeliii]

6 minutes ago, DWnyc said:

You could still run out the door, have IT issues with not enough cash on you etc - the session is already over with payment due 

It's funny you say that.  My very first hire something like that happened.  I paid him in PayPal and something happened that after we parted ways, the payment didn't go through correctly.  He called me clearly upset.  First I calmed him down and assured him I would make it right, buy he had to return the PayPal for that to happen, which he did.  

I made it right and we have been working together ever since.  So I get why providers prefer cash and I'm ok if it's a must,  just don't prefer it.  Everyone I have met these days seems to do Venmo.  Cash app is becoming rare also.

[DWnyc]

On 6/9/2024 at 4:19 AM, Jamie21 said:

Here’s the red flags which I’ve learned from years of experience.

7. Any contact that opens with ‘hey, what’s up, how are you’ etc will be a waste of time. You decide whether you have the spare time to engage with a window shopper.

10. Last minute or urgent bookings. “Free now? I’m desperate” Always trouble. Just answer ‘no sorry’. Even if he offers premium payment don’t accept the booking. 

 

 

I’d challenge these two:

#7 can be style and culture - more than once a provider has said something like “could we start with a simple hello? What happened to civility” etc  when I’ve tried to be extra efficient and head straight to the transactional. Of course if it stays at small talk it’s a problem. 

#10 a last minute booking isn’t always from someone who’s “desperate” - could be someone found the time, a mood change, a thought popped into their head - impulse purchases happen in all aspects of life. If it doesn’t work, or you really have a policy against it - totally fine and a client should respect that.  But im Thinking particularly of providers with capital letters in their postings saying something like “don’t bother contacting me if you’re not ready to meet in the next two hours “ - maybe a style thing that varies. If a providers profile says “available now” and someone is ready and willing and has payment now, one can assume a meet is possible. 

 

[DWnyc]

2 minutes ago, jmichaeliii said:

It's funny you say that.  My very first hire something like that happened.  I paid him in PayPal and something happened that after we parted ways, the payment didn't go through correctly.  He called me clearly upset.  First I calmed him down and assured him I would make it right, buy he had to return the PayPal for that to happen, which he did.  

I made it right and we have been working together ever since.  So I get why providers prefer cash and I'm ok if it's a must,  just don't prefer it.  Everyone I have met these days seems to do Venmo.  Cash app is becoming rare also.

The flip side is leaving an electronic trail

[jmichaeliii]

1 minute ago, DWnyc said:

I’d challenge these two:

#7 can be style and culture - more than once a provider has said something like “could we start with a simple hello? What happened to civility” etc  when I’ve tried to be extra efficient and head straight to the transactional. Of course if it stays at small talk it’s a problem. 

#10 a last minute booking isn’t always from someone who’s “desperate” - could be someone found the time, a mood change, a thought popped into their head - impulse purchases happen in all aspects of life. If it doesn’t work, or you really have a policy against it - totally fine and a client should respect that.  But im Thinking particularly of providers with capital letters in their postings saying something like “don’t bother contacting me if you’re not ready to meet in the next two hours “ - maybe a style thing that varies. If a providers profile says “available now” and someone is ready and willing and has payment now, one can assume a meet is possible. 

 

#7 is an eye opener as I use that line often.  Mainly to start en engagement of conversation.  And I do get blown off at times.

[Jamie21]

22 minutes ago, DWnyc said:

I’d challenge these two:

#7 can be style and culture - more than once a provider has said something like “could we start with a simple hello? What happened to civility” etc  when I’ve tried to be extra efficient and head straight to the transactional. Of course if it stays at small talk it’s a problem. 

#10 a last minute booking isn’t always from someone who’s “desperate” - could be someone found the time, a mood change, a thought popped into their head - impulse purchases happen in all aspects of life. If it doesn’t work, or you really have a policy against it - totally fine and a client should respect that.  But im Thinking particularly of providers with capital letters in their postings saying something like “don’t bother contacting me if you’re not ready to meet in the next two hours “ - maybe a style thing that varies. If a providers profile says “available now” and someone is ready and willing and has payment now, one can assume a meet is possible. 

 

#7  yes could be, or language issues (I try to allow for that, not everyone speaks the King’s English 🙂). The opposite is the ones that open with ‘fuck?’ or ‘full service?’. I’m thinking could you not say “hello do you fuck please?”😂. But “hey” or something similarly diffident does usually imply that they’re not serious. It’s a red flag for me (as are the blunt examples I gave too). I’ll engage and see if their approach changes but if it remains casual then they’re almost certain not to book or be flaky. 

#10 yes they could have got the urge! But that’s exactly what I see as a red flag. It’s an ‘are you available now’ thing. On the few occasions I’ve done those clients there’s been problems. Sometimes they’re drunk or high. So now I decline anything in the next 2 hours, just not worth it.

Yesterday I had a client book in the morning for same day (like at 9am for a 1:30pm appointment) and it was great. I don’t count that as being an impulse and I had availability so he was booked, no problem. 

So these are my red flags, after seeing many clients (4 figures). Others may have different depending on their model or aptitude for hassle! 

 

 

Edited June 15 by Jamie21

[BSR]

3 hours ago, DFdub said:

Counting does not bother me at all either, but…

Cashiers are collect money on behalf of a business, generally for goods rather than services. When in a services setting, collecting on behalf of others still. So not their money, and the employer likely requires the counting because the cashier must turn in exactly amount at end of shift or risk their job.

I might suggest providers are more comparable to other professional services requiring skill/expertise to be successful. Neither my attorney nor my doctor “count the money” in front of me, and they’re the only other services for which I pay similar rates. 😉

Classless simply by virtue of it being unsophisticated comparatively, not it being offensive outright. I certainly expect my providers to be more sophisticated than a cashier… (though neophytes are nice every so often too). 😁

Who besides narcotraffickers pays their lawyer in cash?  The only time people pay their doctor in cash is for small co-pays.  I can't imagine paying for a facelift in cash, although I'm guessing it's been done.

Whether the one counting bills is an employee collecting payment on behalf of the owner/company or a self-employed service provider (escort or other), business is business.  Counting mistakes or intentional ripoffs, while rare, are terrible for business but can be avoided by counting the money upon receipt, QED.

I'm wondering if clients want to downplay payment to prop up the fantasy that the sex was something other than purely transactional.  Newflash:  the only reason that smokin' hot escort f*cked you was money.  My gawd, get over it.

[KeepItReal]

2 hours ago, BSR said:

Who besides narcotraffickers pays their lawyer in cash?  

Dave Ramsey. 

[KeepItReal]

Getting the tread back on track: I have never not paid when hiring. Even if the experience was less than satisfactory. The only time payment went sideways (in a funny way) was when the companion left without taking the envelope with his Benjamins. He was a regular and we were perhaps too comfortable. I texted him right after he left and he came back to pick it up. I teased him about it "Back for round 2??" 😆