DGHou Posted June 26 Share Posted June 26 1 hour ago, KensingtonHomo said: I feel like there's a way to maintain emotional boundaries without comparing people to take out. I believe I suggested this earlier but is there a reason you're not pursuing a romantic relationship with someone? I'm in a different situation as I'm married and only hire with my husband, so there's no chance or anyone catching feelings. Our hiring happens inside of our marriage not outside of it. But if I were single, perhaps I'd find myself in your situation. However, I love being married and would want that over all the escorts in the world. So perhaps if you were dating someone you'd have those emotional needs met and be less likely to project them onto a provider. I have not been dating. In my last relationship I told him and myself if it didn't work out I was not going to try again. It's not worth it. He died in December 2009 and I have been single ever since. Over the past 14 years I have been on a few dates with men my age, a few older and a few younger. I never felt any physical spark with any of them, even after dating a few several times to see if it would ignite. No luck I'd like someone with many of the same life experiences as me. And if there is a great emotional and intellectual connection but not physical on either party I would be fine with him finding sex outside of our partnership. He would have to feel the same way. If we really clicked sex outside would be just that. I would not look for a replacement for him. When I have clicked with a couple of guys on a more mental level and they seemed to click with me. With no sex between us they were quite hurt when they asked how I felt if they found physical satisfaction elsewhere and I said it would be fine. At 65 all I can do is be honest. That's why I have said that I would have honestly liked the one who left to have honestly set me straight about our arrangement when he knew I was blurring the lines. I think all of this would have been easier on me. Thanks guys. I feel like I have monopolized this subject. I apologize. I will try to start keeping a lower profile Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ nycman Posted June 26 Share Posted June 26 On 6/20/2024 at 10:16 AM, DGHou said: However, selling widgets to a customer does not involve emotions. That all depends on the "widget"….. soloyo215, Whippoorwill and thomas 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ purplekow Posted June 27 Share Posted June 27 7 hours ago, KensingtonHomo said: I feel like there's a way to maintain emotional boundaries without comparing people to take out. I believe I suggested this earlier but is there a reason you're not pursuing a romantic relationship with someone? I'm in a different situation as I'm married and only hire with my husband, so there's no chance or anyone catching feelings. Our hiring happens inside of our marriage not outside of it. But if I were single, perhaps I'd find myself in your situation. However, I love being married and would want that over all the escorts in the world. So perhaps if you were dating someone you'd have those emotional needs met and be less likely to project them onto a provider. I assume you husband is of the same mind. Even so, do not be too sure that it can't happen because you are married. There is an escort of some repute who is now married to the husband of one of his clients. They met as a threesome with the now ex.. Luv2play, Johnrom and Whippoorwill 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ KensingtonHomo Posted June 27 Share Posted June 27 6 minutes ago, purplekow said: I assume you husband is of the same mind. Even so, do not be too sure that it can't happen because you are married. There is an escort of some repute who is now married to the husband of one of his clients. They met as a threesome with the now ex.. 😂😂😂 One of us would have to be remotely interested in a romance with another person. We’re not. We hire to spice up our sex life. We have a couple of regulars who we’re friendly with but we don’t even want BFE. Honestly, a grown person leaving their partner for an escort is just a selfish immature asshole. + APPLE1, Lohengrin1979, Johnrom and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DGHou Posted June 27 Share Posted June 27 2 hours ago, purplekow said: I assume you husband is of the same mind. Even so, do not be too sure that it can't happen because you are married. There is an escort of some repute who is now married to the husband of one of his clients. They met as a threesome with the now ex.. Yes. I was told by the provider who left that the one he prefers told him he would divorce his husband and marry him so he could stay in the US. After 20 years together and in their 40's perhaps they have tired of each other. But perhaps he doesn't know his husband is thinking this. Although I do find it strange that the one the provider is really hot for came to our city and spent a month with him before they went back to HI Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy768 Posted June 27 Share Posted June 27 8 hours ago, DGHou said: Thanks guys. I feel like I have monopolized this subject. I apologize. I will try to start keeping a lower profile Thank you for sharing your story and feelings. I appreciate your willingness to be vulnerable in that way. And actually I admire your ability to fall for someone and dream! My stone cold heart wouldn't let me even if I wanted to. Johnrom and Whippoorwill 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DGHou Posted June 27 Share Posted June 27 2 hours ago, KensingtonHomo said: 😂😂😂 One of us would have to be remotely interested in a romance with another person. We’re not. We hire to spice up our sex life. We have a couple of regulars who we’re friendly with but we don’t even want BFE. Honestly, a grown person leaving their partner for an escort is just a selfish immature asshole. They both have side boys so who knows how they feel about each other after 20 years. At 40 & 43 some start to wonder if the relationship is what they want for the rest of their lives. I know. I broke up with my partner of 18 years at 41 only because I could not handle all of his baggage any longer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decatur Guy Posted June 27 Share Posted June 27 (edited) I have never fallen for an escort beyond an unusual type friendship, and I don't think I ever would. I am pretty good about staying grounded in reality. And the reality is I'm paying big money (to me) to be physically intimate with someone who is willing to put aside our physical disparities for a relatively brief time. Again, that can be the basis of a type of unusual friendship that goes beyond the transactional when things click, but I think that's the full extent of it. And even that's been rare. Just a few times. It's been strictly business with the rest going on about 15 years now. All that said, there's a certain hottie in San Francisco who is a moderator on this board, and he is the total package. If I were to slip, he'd be the one. But I'm in Atlanta and he's in SF, so there's that. Even if we were in the same city, it would still be a friends situation at most. I'm sure he's had a few less emotionally disciplined clients fall head over heels for him though! Edited June 27 by Decatur Guy Johnrom 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Pouliot Posted June 27 Share Posted June 27 On 6/14/2024 at 3:35 AM, Rgsnva said: Just wondering if anybody else does this dumb thing or if it’s just me. I only started hiring about 3 years ago, but I can see a pattern. (Okay, only twice, but still…). When I hire a man repeatedly because there’s great intimacy (at least from my perspective, I start to lose my grip on the reality and develop feelings. I misread cues and think there’s a mutual thing developing. Then the reality has to hit home that I’m not a romantic interest or even a hookup interest and I wouldn’t be there if I wasn’t paying. The man I currently see regularly - he pushes all my buttons physically and emotionally, and I could fall head over heels for him. But I see him in rooms with guys who are hookups, not clients, and he talks about trips in which he meets someone in a room, they chat and are hot for each other, and travel to meet. And it has to hit me then that I’m not one of those guys he met because he was attracted to them. Big blow on both my ego and my heart. Anybody else? Thoughts? Suggestions? And you don’t need to tell me it’s all my own fault - I already own that. That's kind of sweet it shows you have a heart Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ KensingtonHomo Posted June 27 Share Posted June 27 10 hours ago, DGHou said: They both have side boys so who knows how they feel about each other after 20 years. At 40 & 43 some start to wonder if the relationship is what they want for the rest of their lives. I know. I broke up with my partner of 18 years at 41 only because I could not handle all of his baggage any longer This may seem harsh, but I find this to be very emotionally immature. Our lives are supposed to evolve as we age. If they have side pieces and that's their understanding, I have no issue with that. But any relationship that can be so easily disrupted by some younger guy has at least one person who is shallow and emotionally immature. When I married, I meant my vows. Sadly, we live in a society that encourages people to see themselves as individuals whose transient emotions are more important than fidelity, vows, and doing the work that a multi-decade relationship requires. Johnrom, DGHou, + APPLE1 and 3 others 4 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lohengrin1979 Posted June 28 Share Posted June 28 I’ve never fallen in love with a provider but I have fallen into the trap of helping one I thought was a friend. It didn’t end well for either of us, me financially, or him emotionally. I am no one’s meal ticket and he learned it very harshly. Since then, I do not aid providers in any way beyond providing them a fair fee and, for my regulars, a gift or bonus around the holidays. We all have lessons to learn. i agree with the posters above who commend the gentlemen sharing this particular circumstance and pitfall of our hobby. Thank you for being vulnerable so that others may learn to proceed with caution and with a bit of steel around their hearts. Johnrom, MikeBiDude, + KensingtonHomo and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thelatin Posted June 28 Share Posted June 28 On 6/21/2024 at 2:45 AM, blck37 said: One of my non-sexual conditions to become my regular is me knowing (i) how his recent ex bf or current bf looks like physically and/ or (ii) the physical traits he would normally go for hook-up. Which 99.9% is far cry from how i look like. Very true. I began to notice there isn't anybody who looks like me on his IG Whippoorwill 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ BenjaminNicholas Posted June 28 Share Posted June 28 This whole thread should is an example of why you should really have some emotional maturity before deciding to hire an escort. Be in the moment. Enjoy his company. Have fun. Hug, kiss and fuck. Converse. But... After the meet is over, shake it off, go back to reality and plan for the next visit. He's a band-aid. Not a stitch. + DrownedBoy, + keroscenefire, MikeBiDude and 9 others 3 7 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ Lucky Posted June 28 Share Posted June 28 37 minutes ago, BenjaminNicholas said: This whole thread should is an example of why you should really have some emotional maturity before deciding to hire an escort. Be in the moment. Enjoy his company. Have fun. Hug, kiss and fuck. Converse. But... After the meet is over, shake it off, go back to reality and plan for the next visit. He's a band-aid. Not a stitch. Good ol' Band- Aid Benjamin knows the score! Whippoorwill, + DrownedBoy, + BenjaminNicholas and 3 others 2 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ BenjaminNicholas Posted June 28 Share Posted June 28 3 minutes ago, Lucky said: Good ol' Band- Aid Benjamin knows the score! Please don't make this a thing. LOL. Dear god, no. Luv2play, + DrownedBoy, + Lucky and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winterangel Posted June 29 Share Posted June 29 I’ve never fallen in love because a) I’m not looking for love b) I fully understand the relationship is transactional. Even if the guy is / or seems genuinely into me, I know we are on the clock. What has happened many times though is that the connection is so mind blowing that it feels like love in the moment. It’s generally when I’m on my back being fucked - after a hard fuck, it then becomes tender and I’ll ask the guy to keep his cock in me and kiss me. This mimics the feeling of love and when I think of the guy later (sometimes very often) I will feel this emotion as well as be horny. Of course, if the guy later does anything unkind this feeling will be forever lost, but I’m lucky to have experienced this more than a few times (along with many disappointments!). + Lucky, Luv2play, DGHou and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tbuzzsaw Posted June 29 Share Posted June 29 (edited) I'm personally going through some mixed emotions right now with one. I've hired many in the past, there was always sexual attraction but I've always left it as just a business transaction and nothing more, until this one guy I started seeing. Attractiveness scale he's practically a 10 in my eyes, I was prepared for a good time and that's all she wrote. He told me how much he's into me physically. I always blow this statement off, but our session definitely had something different where it actually felt he meant what he said. There was this primal feeling of someone really into me and I felt appreciated. Then the kicker came at the end, he gave me a discount. Threw me off thinking this is guy is an absolute professional great at making someone feel good or he's actually into me. Either way it was enough for me to give it a second shot a few weeks later to give it time to cool off. Second session was much better with a longer allotted time, and again, discounted rate. It's really making me think if I'm being manipulated here or he has a genuine attraction to me, either way doing a good job getting me to come back. It's just two sessions so far but he's gotten his hooks in me. He's very attractive outside and inside from just the two times we seen each other but I'm planning on a few more sessions testing the waters being cautious, hoping my heart isn't being played but it's certainly being rattled. I'm just waiting for something to be said that would confirm one way or the other. Edited June 29 by tbuzzsaw Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
liubit Posted June 29 Share Posted June 29 I have been very actively hiring for 30+ years and I have managed to keep a clear head all along, never developing feelings for providers, other than friendship with some regulars. I am passionate when he is here, and cool off as he walks out my door. I fall in love one boy at a time, one session at a time. Luv2play, + APPLE1, manorbrown and 2 others 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy768 Posted June 29 Share Posted June 29 2 hours ago, tbuzzsaw said: I'm personally going through some mixed emotions right now with one. I've hired many in the past, there was always sexual attraction but I've always left it as just a business transaction and nothing more, until this one guy I started seeing. Attractiveness scale he's practically a 10 in my eyes, I was prepared for a good time and that's all she wrote. He told me how much he's into me physically. I always blow this statement off, but our session definitely had something different where it actually felt he meant what he said. There was this primal feeling of someone really into me and I felt appreciated. Then the kicker came at the end, he gave me a discount. Threw me off thinking this is guy is an absolute professional great at making someone feel good or he's actually into me. Either way it was enough for me to give it a second shot a few weeks later to give it time to cool off. Second session was much better with a longer allotted time, and again, discounted rate. It's really making me think if I'm being manipulated here or he has a genuine attraction to me, either way doing a good job getting me to come back. It's just two sessions so far but he's gotten his hooks in me. He's very attractive outside and inside from just the two times we seen each other but I'm planning on a few more sessions testing the waters being cautious, hoping my heart isn't being played but it's certainly being rattled. I'm just waiting for something to be said that would confirm one way or the other. Proximusss, Whippoorwill, + nycman and 2 others 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tbuzzsaw Posted June 30 Share Posted June 30 21 hours ago, Andy768 said: lol I'm still overly cautious, just getting thrown for a loop on this occasion. At the very least I'm having fun and getting my money's worth. Johnrom, Luv2play, + APPLE1 and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ ThroatCummer Posted June 30 Share Posted June 30 On 6/24/2024 at 11:00 AM, DGHou said: The couple that the provider I fell for left to be with met the same way 20 years ago. One was the escort and one was the client, which is interesting because there is only 3 years difference in their ages. Escort was 20 and client was 23 at the time. They've been together 20 years, married for 10. For mine, he advertised himself as 35 and I was 45. After two weeks he said I have something to tell you. He hands me his driver's license and he is actually ten months older than me, born in the same year. He certainly looks fucking 35 years old and everyone believes it. So many people think he's with me because he's the younger jacked guy who needs a daddy and needs a green card or passport (he doesn't; he already has his -- if anything we are getting married so I can get his passport, lol) but people will believe what they want. I know the truth. He pays half the bills, I don't actually contribute anything to him these days except for half of our living expenses and maybe a decent vacation here and there where he pays what he can and I maybe pickup upgrades from coach to first class, etc. I'll write the story at some point over the summer if ya'll are interested in how it all happened. + DrownedBoy, DGHou, + APPLE1 and 3 others 3 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ ThroatCummer Posted June 30 Share Posted June 30 (edited) On 6/29/2024 at 5:00 AM, tbuzzsaw said: I always blow this statement off, but our session definitely had something different where it actually felt he meant what he said. There was this primal feeling of someone really into me and I felt appreciated. Then the kicker came at the end, he gave me a discount. For me, months later, I found out that I have a condition his father had. Two different color eyes. It's a small thing but he fell in love with it. After the third meeting, he invited me to his house down in Miami (I lived in Boston at the time) for the weekend and told me he couldn't take my money he just wanted to spend time together. I asked him when I got there how many guys have you ever invited into your apartment like this and he said "not a single one, ever. My home is my sanctuary and I don't bring clients home." I said: "But I am a client" and he said "Not anymore you aren't. I don't know where this is going but I am so happy you're here." and then we just lose the clothes and went at it for a few hours. 😈 For you, just be guarded for the time being. I was for months and was honest with him about that. But definitely enjoy and get what you want out of the situation. Clear communication about feelings is very key. Tell him you're falling for him and you're not sure how the future will play out but you want to spend time together. Be prepared for 99% chance of not getting what you want. The chances here are really, really slim. But if he's a keeper, he will be clear with you and tell you exactly how he feels. That's when it is worth more than money. Edited June 30 by ThroatCummer Johnrom and Whippoorwill 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manorbrown Posted July 24 Share Posted July 24 (edited) Interesting topic here...while I've never fallen in love with an escort as a person or wanted to know them IRL, I have fallen in love with the sex/dick. I once had an escort who really had the best cock on earth. When he retired, I went through some mental changes due to missing that dick 🙂.... I've always hired so that I can have sex with no "strings"...I never wanted to know them personally or provide financial assistance beyond the agreed upon rate. Edited July 24 by manorbrown delete text Johnrom, 56harrisond and liubit 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ DrownedBoy Posted July 24 Share Posted July 24 4 hours ago, manorbrown said: I have fallen in love with the sex/dick..... I've always hired so that I can have sex with no "strings"...I never wanted to know them personally or provide financial assistance beyond the agreed upon rate. This right here is the correct mindset. Love and lust are 2 entirely different things. You might confuse them when you just come out of the closet, or when you're a teenager, but as an adult, you have to know the difference. + APPLE1, liubit, Whippoorwill and 3 others 4 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whippoorwill Posted July 25 Share Posted July 25 I was falling in love with a provider once. When his birthday came, I offered to take him out to lunch. He quickly said oh, no, just bring some sushi and a bottle of wine and we can have it here. A perfect way to gently bring me back to reality. I wasn't his friend. He wasn't going to spend free time with me. He didn't want to be seen in public with me. We could have an enjoyable time "on the clock" on my dime. Fair enough. It is exactly what the provider relationship is and should be. Years later I still see him monthly. And I have another boy I see monthly. We are loving and tender during my appointments. I tell both of them I love both of them. They know each other, and are OK with humoring me. I feel loved, and neither of them are afraid that I will go off half-cocked (pardon the pun) because they know I am compartmentalizing my fantasies two weeks at a time. Works for me. Now, one of them is moving out of state. I full well know I will need to find another unavailable boy to keep my irrational exuberance in check. Fantasies are wonderful as long as you remember that is just what they are. Fantasies. pubic_assistance, Johnrom, manorbrown and 1 other 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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