Contacting "ladies only" escorts

[Moke]

40 minutes ago, Beancounter said:

I question the motives of the original poster @Henric8.  He started a thread in The Deli about a bad experience with a well-know escort with the initials b.b. (as I remember).  Someone responded and @Henric8 immediately responded with a rather snarky message.   He again responds in this thread about being lectured by another member.  Forum members took @Henric8 to the cleaners in the Deli thread.  One longtime, respected member of the Forum even posted a gif saying “Bye bitch”.  As a new member here @Henric8 will hopefully soon learn that if you can’t stand the heat, it’s best to get out of the kitchen. 

Well who knows, as he seems to be gone now. As the person who seemed to make him snap in the other thread, I feel a little bit guilty because I consider myself a really sweet, low key guy who hates conflict. I had no idea his skin would so so thin or I might have reworded my feedback. 
Of course he DID call us all “creeps” on the way out, so again 🤷‍♂️

[+ nycman]

One thing I’ve learned in posting here over the years….

If I have to:

1) Number my response.

2) My point isn’t really worth making

3) I’m WAY overthinking the importance of this board. 

4) I should take a break and find a beautiful man with whom to have amazing sex. 

[Monarchy79]

1 hour ago, Sub boy said:

 

3. Escorts would disagree. Pretty sure they would consider places where they advertise their work and carry out their work to be workplaces. And are you really trying to argue that sexual harassment depends on where it happened?

 

 

 

Well since there are escorts in this forum let’s ask them now:

1.) if a potential client asks you to negotiate your sexual preferences/practices, do you consider that to be sexual harassment? Or simply an inquiry from a potential client? 
 

 

 

[Monarchy79]

1 hour ago, Sub boy said:

2. Since you want to try to use technicalities to defend sexual harassment, here’s the Oxford dictionary definition of sexual harassment: “behavior characterized by the making of unwelcome and inappropriate sexual remarks or physical advances in a workplace or other professional or social situation.” Therefore, making unwanted sexual advances on someone who has already blatantly said “ladies only” can be a form of sexual harassment. 

 

 

 

A potential client asking a professional sex worker about sex isn’t a “sexual advance”. It’s a legitimate question that professional sex workers expect. 
 

When potential clients reach out to escorts, what exactly do you think they are inquiring? The weather? 

[mike carey]

21 minutes ago, Monarchy79 said:

When potential clients reach out to escorts, what exactly do you think they are inquiring? The weather? 

It's fine and delightfully sunny, if a little chilly, thank you for asking!

[+ José Soplanucas]

2 hours ago, Sub boy said:

behavior characterized by the making of unwelcome and inappropriate sexual remarks or physical advances in a workplace or other professional or social situation.”

Did you notice the plural in the definition? Making A single remark, or in this case question, is not harassing. 

Edited June 17 by José Soplanucas

[viewing ownly]

A question I've pondered is worded a bit differently than the original poster. Why is it that there are so many men who advertise on mostly gay men's hook-up sites like Mint Boys who indicate they are only looking for women?

And yes, the "I'm 100% straight" crap in a small amount of men's ads looking for male clients is lame. Like who you want, and personally embrace it. If there's a high volume of women going to gay men's hook-up sites to find that "straight only" man of their dreams, that's news to us all. 

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

5 hours ago, Sub boy said:

I’m sorry but this was triggering for me. “Bend the rules” sounds like creepy and borderline rapist behavior. I guess there’s no harm in respectfully asking, but if his ad specifically says “ladies only” he pretty much already told you no. And remember, no means no. Otherwise it’s pretty much the same scenario as the powerful men of Hollywood that dangle money & job opportunities in front reluctant women #MeToo

I'm a big supporter of #MeToo, as long as it's pronounced "Pound Me Too" 😜

Pound Me Too, straight men 👿!

Edited June 17 by Vegas_Millennial

[pubic_assistance]

2 hours ago, marylander1940 said:

If he actually was bisexual he would also advertise for men knowing that's the biggest market!

In MY experience there are MANY many men out there who are bisexual but very private about that fact. Even sex workers can be closeted enough that they don't want their friends to know they swing both ways.

[Sub boy]

1 hour ago, Monarchy79 said:

A potential client asking a professional sex worker about sex isn’t a “sexual advance”. It’s a legitimate question that professional sex workers expect. 
 

When potential clients reach out to escorts, what exactly do you think they are inquiring? The weather? 

Potential clients should read a provider’s profile. And when the provider’s profile says “Ladies only”, what else is there to inquire about?

[Sub boy]

14 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

In MY experience there are MANY many men out there who are bisexual but very private about that fact. Even sex workers can be closeted enough that they don't want their friends to know they swing both ways.

Understood. But a profile that specifically says “Ladies only” is pretty clear. And I’m pretty sure most escorts know that it wouldn’t take much for their friends to create a fake profile to find out if they swing both ways. 

[Sub boy]

25 minutes ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

I'm a big supporter of #MeToo, as long as it's pronounced "Pound Me Too" 😜

Pound Me Too, straight men 👿!

Fortunately for you, there are tons of straight men who advertise that they are willing to “pound you too”. And then unfortunately for you, there are others who are “Ladies only”

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

10 hours ago, Sub boy said:

Potential clients should read a provider’s profile. And when the provider’s profile says “Ladies only”, what else is there to inquire about?

One must inquire, Does he mean a biological woman, but only one who is polite and behaves herself as a lady?  Or is he open to man identifying as a lady?  Is he open to girls with a penis?  Does he desire the "Lady boys" common in Thailand?

I wonder, if he consents to sex only with people identifying as ladies, what happens if in the middle of sex when the other person begins to identify as something else... Would that be rape? (Insert eye roll).   What if he wasn't told until after his orgasm that she wasn't a lady, but a nasty girl.  Let the sexual assault allegations begin!

Back on topic...I hired a straight guy for a massage when I was in Washington DC.  I found him on Craig's list.  He let me fuck him for extra money because rent was due.  His wife and kids were at home.

Edited June 17 by Vegas_Millennial

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

1 minute ago, Sub boy said:

Fortunately for you, there are tons of straight men who advertise that they are willing to “pound you too”. And then unfortunately for you, there are others who are “Ladies only”

My asshole identifies as gender neutral.

[Sub boy]

3 minutes ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

My asshole identifies as gender neutral.

Also unfortunately for you, some “Ladies only” providers won’t care.

[Sub boy]

5 minutes ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

Back on topic...I hired a straight guy for a massage when I was in Washington DC.  I found him on Craig's list.  He let me fuck him for extra money because rent was due.  His wife and kids were at home.

Ahhhhhh yes, the dreams predatory porn are made of. Congratulations? 🤔 

[Monarchy79]

1 hour ago, Sub boy said:

Potential clients should read a provider’s profile. And when the provider’s profile says “Ladies only”, what else is there to inquire about?

People make adaptations to what’s presented on “menus” all the time.

-it’s common for  a restaurant to have a salad served with lettuce, and the diner may want to replace it with arugula.

-the steak may come with a bernaise sauce, but I may want mine served “Oscar” style instead.

 -a burger may come with Cheddar cheese, but a customer may want to use blue cheese instead. 
 
Regarding escorting, a provider’s profile may list his sexual proclivities, yet potential clients may inquire on position, oral, anal, kissing, fetishes and kinks. Many of the posts in the Deli forums discuss these matters. 

None of these circumstances indicate any wrongdoing, especially not sexual harassment. 

But again, I want to hear from the actual providers.

Professionals:

Do you consider inquiries or negotiations on your prescribed practices to be considered “sexual harassment”? 

 

[Sub boy]

Terrible example. At least with restaurants, the items you may want to substitute are still on the menu. However with a provider who blatantly says “Ladies only”, it’s very clear that men are not on the menu. That’s like going to McDonald’s and asking “Do you also serve lobster?” 

Regardless of your terrible example, trying to coax someone into “bending their rules” (as was originally stated) inherently indicates wrongdoing and sexual harassment. They know good and well what their rules are and they are consciously trying to get their way anyway. 

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

6 hours ago, Sub boy said:

That’s like going to McDonald’s and asking “Do you also serve lobster?”

You won't know unless you ask!  You wouldn't believe how many times it's offered, but not displayed on the Menu board!

 

Edited June 17 by Vegas_Millennial

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

6 hours ago, Sub boy said:

Regardless of your terrible example, trying to coax someone into “bending their rules” (as was originally stated) inherently indicates wrongdoing and sexual harassment. They know good and well what their rules are and they are consciously trying to get their way anyway. 

It's called flirting.  It's queer that today's younger generation are afraid to flirt with anyone new, least it be called harassment.  Instead, they wait for both parties to swipe right on an application.

I managed to make out with the straight twin of a gay man, when both were visiting a gay bar together.  When I originally met him, he wouldn't even consider it.  But after a couple of meetings and a couple of drinks, and plenty of compliments from me, he opened up to it.  @pubic_assistancehas the right approach: offer lots of compliments and no pressure.

#MeToo (Pound Me Too)

Edited June 17 by Vegas_Millennial

[56harrisond]

6 minutes ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

You won't know unless you ask!  You wouldn't believe how many times it's offered, but not displayed on the Menu board!

 

If someone is ordering "lobster" at McDonald's seek help from a medical professional.

[BSR]

10 hours ago, José Soplanucas said:

Did you notice the plural in the definition? Making A single remark, or in this case question, is not harassing. 

Uh muh gawd, is global warming frying my brain??  This is the second time in less than a week that I am 100% in agreement with José Soplanucas ... eek!

Ok, seriously now, I'm guessing "ladies only" escorts fall into 1 of 3 categories:  1) those who say ""ladies only" in hopes of getting very lucrative offers from men, 2) those who really are "ladies only" ... unless rent's due & they're short, and 3) those who are "ladies only," absolutely no exceptions.

If you ask once and he says no, then of course, no means no.  Any further communications with a ladies-only escort who has already told you no would indeed be harassment.  If he doesn't respond, I would also take that as a no.  With plenty of escorts, multiple attempts to contact might be necessary because a lot of guys are just flakey/negligent/too busy to respond.  Sometimes the escort never got your message.  But with a ladies-only escort, I'm going to assume he did see my text/email/WhatsApp and simply wasn't interested.  Additional attempts at contact after non-response don't quite rise to the level of harassment, imo, but I just don't think it's a good idea.

This thread is way too similar to the thread started by a stiffed escort where one forum member insisted that nonpayment was equivalent to rape.  Yikes! Get a grip!  Here, an inquiry to a sex worker is being blown up to sexual harassment.  Yikes again!

[+ José Soplanucas]

14 minutes ago, BSR said:

I am 100% in agreement with José Soplanucas ... eek!

[Sub boy]

2 hours ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

It's called flirting.  It's queer that today's younger generation are afraid to flirt with anyone new, least it be called harassment.  Instead, they wait for both parties to swipe right on an application.

I managed to make out with the straight twin of a gay man, when both were visiting a gay bar together.  When I originally met him, he wouldn't even consider it.  But after a couple of meetings and a couple of drinks, and plenty of compliments from me, he opened up to it.  @pubic_assistancehas the right approach: offer lots of compliments and no pressure.

#MeToo (Pound Me Too)

Ahhhh yes, How To Be A Predator 101, the good old “wait-until-he’s-had-a-few-drinks-and-can’t-give-legal-consent-to-get-your-way-after-he-already-told-you-no-before”. I think you left out the part where you roofied him and dragged his body back to your place. 

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

1 minute ago, Sub boy said:

Ahhhh yes, How To Be A Predator 101, the good old “wait-until-he’s-had-a-few-drinks-and-can’t-give-legal-consent-to-get-your-way-after-he-already-told-you-no-before”. I think you left out the part where you roofied him and dragged his body back to your place. 

You must be a lot of fun at parties 🎉