411Reviews Posted July 2 Share Posted July 2 There’s a lot of poverty in the Czech Republic/Slovakia and a lot of amazing looking guys. Some of them want to enter into sugar daddy relationships. I started in a relationship with one for the past six months. I won’t say his name or the studio but I’m wondering what am I setting myself up for that could be a problem? Possibly nothing, but curious to get others thoughts. He’s helped me a lot, and been a really good trusted person. I have compensated with trips and about $15,000 in cash so far, and the year isn’t over. While both have been happy with the relationship thus far, I’m beginning to wonder what sort of ultimatums I should be making? Should I keep it strictly business? He’s become a very good trusted friend. I can be honest with him more than anyone else in the world, and he’s been extremely discreet. I feel like he’s slipping further into a “good friend” and I’m losing control of the situation. Having a discussion with him about this and he starts to get angry. I don’t blame him because I pride myself on not treating him like a slave. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pubic_assistance Posted July 2 Share Posted July 2 2 hours ago, 411Reviews said: I’m losing control of the situation. Having a discussion with him about this and he starts to get angry. I don’t blame him because I pride myself on not treating him like a slave. If you're expecting to always be in control of the relationship then yes. You're treating him like a slave. JeffsterLA and JourneysEnd 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
411Reviews Posted July 2 Author Share Posted July 2 (edited) 3 hours ago, pubic_assistance said: If you're expecting to always be in control of the relationship then yes. You're treating him like a slave. No I’m not trying to control the relationship. But it’s a weird balancing act of being a good friend and be in control of the relationship, offering a good friend financial help, and ensuring they’re ok financially. Obviously this is a very rare situation that I’ve never navigated and don’t know if others who have. Will I just end up upset, and down a lot of money? I personally think we will remain good friends forever even when I stop paying him. But deciding what, and how I should be expecting from him now that relationship has moved from me as the boss, to me as a good friend it’s weird uncharted territory. I feel like I need to give him an ultimatum at our next meet up and move the relationship back to more business-like. But there’s no where to go and ask about something like this. I feel very torn, and unsure what to do in this situation. To his credit he’s been extremely honest. Edited July 2 by 411Reviews Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ nycman Posted July 2 Share Posted July 2 8 hours ago, 411Reviews said: Will I just end up upset, and down a lot of money? Yes. + tassojunior, thomas, + Charlie and 4 others 3 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RickyDC Posted July 2 Share Posted July 2 "Having a discussion with him about this and he starts to get angry." That's not a good sign. Whether your relationship is purely professional, a friendship, or a mixture of both, there has to be at least a willingness to discuss stuff, so long as you're doing it in a kind and respectful way, so that you can both agree on what's expected from the relationship. "I feel like he’s slipping further into a 'good friend' and I’m losing control of the situation." "But it’s a weird balancing act of being a good friend and be in control of the relationship, offering a good friend financial help, and ensuring they’re ok financially." "I feel like I need to give him an ultimatum at our next meet up and move the relationship back to more business-like." What I'm hearing is that you'd rather not do the balancing act, and you'd be more comfortable with a simpler and purely professional relationship. If that's what you want, then you can certainly tell him so in a kind and respectful way. I would avoid a big dramatic "ultimatum." Just let the guy know how important he is to you, but that you want to clarify the financial part of your relationship, and you want that part to be purely professional. Don't be afraid to be honest with the guy, even if it means the relationship may end. If he gets upset or angry, try to stay calm and respectful. Tell him that you want to stay together, but in a way that works for both of you. I've been where you are. In almost all cases, a purely professional relationship is the easiest and best way to go. There are two guys, including one from Czechia, where we've also been friends for over 10 years. I think the only reason those relationships worked is because we were all very clear and agreed upon the boundaries. Good Luck to you! Johnrom and JourneysEnd 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thomas_Belgium Posted July 4 Share Posted July 4 In my opinion it could be a variation of this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Romance_scam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RickyDC Posted July 4 Share Posted July 4 There are definitely scammers out there, lots of them. But there are also genuine people, very rare. One way you can tell: the genuine person who views you as a friend will be worried about taking advantage of you, because they care about you. They will welcome discussions to clarify your relationship and set boundaries for both of you, because they want to make sure the relationship is fair to both of you. By contrast, a scammer will resist anything that could mean potentially less money for them. At the end of the day, it's far simpler and easier to keep things purely professional and leave notions of love and friendship out of it. If you are looking for love or friendship, there are better places to look than within a paid relationship. Luv2play, + tassojunior, Johnrom and 1 other 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ Charlie Posted July 4 Share Posted July 4 Nothing disrupts the equilibrium in a friendship or a romantic relationship more than one party having money and the other party wanting/needing it. That's why prenuptial agreements exist. Your relationship started as an agreed-upon commercial exchange (not slavery), and if you expect it to morph into something different, he has to be willing to discuss the subject dispassionately. His unwillingness to do that should be a red flag for you, because although your original image of him has changed, his conception of you may not have changed. As a somewhat comparable situation, when my partner and I met, there was a big difference in our ages and incomes. Before we agreed to settle down together, we had frank discussions about how we felt about those differences, how money and expenses would be shared, and who would be responsible for what. As time went by and conditions changed, we always revisited those topics to be sure both of us were comfortable with our original decisions and to change them when it seemed appropriate (e.g., he bought our first house, but we shared the cost of subsequent homes equally). You and your "friend" need to have the same kinds of conversations. + Vegas_Millennial, Luv2play, + APPLE1 and 2 others 1 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thomas_Belgium Posted July 5 Share Posted July 5 One of the reasons I think it could be some variation of a romantic scam is this: "I’ve divulged some very private things that he could use to blackmail me." This is a textbook "pillow confession" & from the same textbook te escort "mirrored" it: "He’s divulged some very personal things to me about him that I could blackmail him with." the escort uses this as a smoke screen for the sugar daddy. Quotes come from this topic: https://www.companyofmen.org/topic/153194-escort-turned-sugar-daddy-relationship/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now