first time experience disappointment - looking for honest feedback

[Voyager2025]

Hello all. New to this website. Recent first timer, had a mixed bag of an experience and could use some honest, objective feedback from clients and/or providers alike.

So I've been embarking on this YOLO mindset for a while now and decided to treat myself to the whole escort experience, just to see what it's like and try it out and have some fun. I reached out to one particular gentleman who checked all the boxes, he was super friendly and also let me know he had a good amount of experience with first timers. Also a lot of very positive reviews. I decided to book an overnight (in hindsight maybe too hasty but I was really looking for an exciting adventure and figured why not go for it), which was a total fourteen hour appointment. Made all the arrangements, bookings etc. When the big night came, we met up, he was just as attractive as his photos, a great guy, great to talk to. We went out for drinks, had a great time. We left the bar to go back to the hotel and he informed me he needed to grab a bite and would meet me back at the hotel at around midnight. 

He came back at midnight and let me know he couldn't find anything but no worries. So we started getting busy and that part was great... after about 45 minutes or so he came and we decided to take a break. Around 1 AM he informs me he needs to go out and find something to eat, which I thought was odd but not a huge deal. Since we had had a decent amount to drink I decided to stay behind and promptly fell asleep (after the drinks and the fact that I'm alone in a hotel room at 1AM). He gets back around 230AM and slides into bed. I put my hand on his arm but got a distinct impression from his body language that he was ready to sleep. 

Fast forward to 8am the next day. We wake up and start talking. Around 830 or so he informs me he needs to leave around 9. So we start to get a little busy again, but now I'm thinking the time is running out and I couldn't really enjoy the moment feeling like the clock is ticking, so nothing really came of it ( no pun intended hahaha). So we part amicably and I'm showering, packing up to check out and go home and I'm thinking to myself..... what was that?

So I'm confused. I let the whole experience marinate in my brain for a few weeks and now I'm asking myself... did I do something wrong? Was there something I should have said.. should I have been more direct about timing? I cant figure it out. I was going to just let it go but I cant decide. If I'm being honest, I had really high expectations and the whole thing feels like a giant letdown. Between his fee, the hotel, the bar tab, travel, etc this was an almost $3000 experience and I feel like there should have been so much more. 

So all that being said, I'd love some honest opinions. Clients, what would you do? I'm thinking about reaching out to him and expressing how I feel. Not in a nasty way but if this is his career, maybe he'd appreciate the honest feedback and what I would hope is constructive criticism? Or do I just move on? Providers, any thoughts? Is there something I should have said/done that maybe I didn't? 

 

[maninsoma]

If you had a 14 hour appointment, it sounds like it began at 7pm since he left at 9am the next day.  If that's the case, then you should have arranged to have a meal at either the beginning of your appointment or, if you were worried about one or both of you being clean enough for anal sexy, had sex right away (or maybe after one drink) and then gone out to eat.  In my experience an overnight appointment that truly is an extended appointment (not just hooking up from midnight to 6am or something) should include at least the evening meal if not breakfast.  So, if you did anything "wrong" other than starting out with an overnight instead of just an hour or two appointment, it's that you didn't factor in the need for the guy to eat dinner and instead spent hours drinking alcohol with him.  (I assume you were drinking for hours since you said he went out to get something to eat and came back at midnight, so unless he was absent for a long time then you probably were hanging out drinking and chatting for quite a while.)

I don't really get a sense that the escort did anything wrong other than maybe not guiding you into a more explicit conversation about how your appointment would be structured.  Since he knew you were new to this and he's apparently experienced, he should have raised some of these issues in advance (including the time in the morning he anticipated leaving) so you could have structured the time in a way that met more of your needs.  Therefore, I definitely don't think it would be appropriate for you to contact him to complain about his behavior other than maybe you wish he had helped you figure out some structure in advance.  It's more of a live and learn circumstance.

I'm interested in alternate perspectives.  Maybe some believe that the escort should have taken more control in the moment, guiding you to eating dinner instead of drinking when more dining establishments were open, and then initiated play in the morning early enough that you could enjoy it without feeling like the clock was ticking.  Maybe some will call into question the escort leaving to try to find food not once but twice (which does seem a bit odd to me).  Maybe some will even argue that the escort knew exactly what he was doing -- getting you to pay his fee in exchange for mostly time spent drinking and sleeping -- but for all we knew the escort actually believed that allowing you to set the pace was the best thing for you.

Assuming you decide to schedule another overnight at some point with him or anyone else, I suggest having more communication in advance to see if you are both on the same page as to what's going to happen during your time together.

Edited July 2 by maninsoma

[+ nycman]

Overnights are not for you. 

Join the crowd. Personally, I think they’re a huge waste of money.
Also, don’t worry. Most of us had a crappy "first" hire. 
Jump back in the saddle and find the horse that’s right for you.
This hobby can be fun, once you learn the ropes. 

[Voyager2025]

12 minutes ago, maninsoma said:

If you had a 14 hour appointment, it sounds like it began at 7pm since he left at 9am the next day.  If that's the case, then you should have arranged to have a meal at either the beginning of your appointment or, if you were worried about one or both of you being clean enough for anal sexy, had sex right away (or maybe after one drink) and then gone out to eat.  In my experience an overnight appointment that truly is an extended appointment (not just hooking up from midnight to 6am or something) should include at least the evening meal if not breakfast.  So, if you did anything "wrong" other than starting out with an overnight instead of just an hour or two appointment, it's that you didn't factor in the need for the guy to eat dinner and instead spent hours drinking alcohol with him.  (I assume you were drinking for hours since you said he went out to get something to eat and came back at midnight, so unless he was absent for a long time then you probably were hanging out drinking and chatting for quite a while.)

I don't really get a sense that the escort did anything wrong other than maybe not guiding you into a more explicit conversation about how your appointment would be structured.  Since he knew you were new to this and he's apparently experienced, he should have raised some of these issues in advance (including the time in the morning he anticipated leaving) so you could have structured the time in a way that met more of your needs.  Therefore, I definitely don't think it would be appropriate for you to contact him to complain about his behavior other than maybe you wish he had helped you figure out some structure in advance.  It's more of a live and learn circumstance.

I'm interested in alternate perspectives.  Maybe some believe that the escort should have taken more control in the moment, guiding you to eating dinner instead of drinking when more dining establishments were open, and then initiated play in the morning early enough that you could enjoy it without feeling like the clock was ticking.  Maybe some will call into question the escort leaving to try to find food not once but twice (which does seem a bit odd to me).  Maybe some will even argue that the escort knew exactly what he was doing -- getting you to pay his fee in exchange for mostly time spent drinking and sleeping -- but for all we knew the escort actually believed that allowing you to set the pace was the best thing for you.

Assuming you decide to schedule another overnight at some point with him or anyone else, I suggest having more communication in advance to see if you are both on the same page as to what's going to happen during your time together.

Thank you for the perspective! To add a little detail, appointment started at 8pm, and he informed me he would be dining with a friend beforehand and then meeting up with me, so I did the same. Also, the "anal" part of things wasn't on the table to begin with (I'm partnered and my partner wasn't comfortable with that idea, but was cool with anything else that might happen).

[+ KensingtonHomo]

I find it odd that he wanted to get food twice - though he didn't get it the first time. If he is a younger guy and fit, he might have a higher metabolism and get hungry more quickly. 

Otherwise, it seems like you didn't find the "overnight" part worth the money. I'm married so I sleep with someone else almost every night. So I don't want or need an escort for that. 

Would it more fulfilling for the cost if you had booked a four-hour appointment, met for drinks, and then fooled around? 

[Oakman]

Honest feedback - not trying to be shady: I’ve read your experience and still don’t know what you had in mind for the evening. Escorts aren’t mind-readers. I suspect your companion for the night didn’t have any explicit directions from you, so assumed you’d be okay with whatever he decided.

Even if it’s just an hour, you need to make your expectations clear - which means you need to figure out what they are. Do you know what it is you want to feel? Experience? 
 

I’ll usually state my needs in a way that leaves room for him to be creative.

[Sub boy]

14 minutes ago, Oakman said:

Honest feedback - not trying to be shady: I’ve read your experience and still don’t know what you had in mind for the evening. Escorts aren’t mind-readers. I suspect your companion for the night didn’t have any explicit directions from you, so assumed you’d be okay with whatever he decided.

Even if it’s just an hour, you need to make your expectations clear - which means you need to figure out what they are. Do you know what it is you want to feel? Experience? 
 

I’ll usually state my needs in a way that leaves room for him to be creative.

THIS! If you don’t make your expectations clear, you can’t be disappointed when your expectations aren’t met. I’ve hired over 80 escorts and I can confidently say that not all escorts are created equal when it comes to overnights. Some escorts expect to eat & sleep most of the night, while others are prepared for all-night fuck-a-thons.

Edited July 2 by Sub boy

[Oakman]

7 minutes ago, Sub boy said:

THIS! If you don’t make your expectations clear, you can’t be disappointed when your expectations aren’t met. I’ve hired over 80 escorts and I can confidently say that not all escorts are created equal when it comes to overnights. Some escorts expect to eat & sleep most of the night, while others are prepared for all-night fuck-a-thons.

If I ever hired for an overnighter (I have not) I’d say something like “I want to see how many loads you can pound into me before the sun comes up” or “I want you to snuggle with me and fall asleep together watching HGTV” but leaving it up to chance? Yikes! Traveling escorts are tired. They’ll rest any chance they can 😋

[Sub boy]

True. And now that you mention it, there’s a direct correlation between traveling escorts and the quality of the overnight experience. The traveling escorts usually provided a poorer overnight experience and were unable to “keep up” if you know what I mean. And honestly when it comes to overnights, now I just stick to a couple regulars. Overnights are too expensive to leave to chance 

Edited July 2 by Sub boy

[marylander1940]

1 hour ago, Voyager2025 said:

Hello all. New to this website. Recent first timer, had a mixed bag of an experience and could use some honest, objective feedback from clients and/or providers alike.

So I've been embarking on this YOLO mindset for a while now and decided to treat myself to the whole escort experience, just to see what it's like and try it out and have some fun. I reached out to one particular gentleman who checked all the boxes, he was super friendly and also let me know he had a good amount of experience with first timers. Also a lot of very positive reviews. I decided to book an overnight (in hindsight maybe too hasty but I was really looking for an exciting adventure and figured why not go for it), which was a total fourteen hour appointment. Made all the arrangements, bookings etc. When the big night came, we met up, he was just as attractive as his photos, a great guy, great to talk to. We went out for drinks, had a great time. We left the bar to go back to the hotel and he informed me he needed to grab a bite and would meet me back at the hotel at around midnight. 

He came back at midnight and let me know he couldn't find anything but no worries. So we started getting busy and that part was great... after about 45 minutes or so he came and we decided to take a break. Around 1 AM he informs me he needs to go out and find something to eat, which I thought was odd but not a huge deal. Since we had had a decent amount to drink I decided to stay behind and promptly fell asleep (after the drinks and the fact that I'm alone in a hotel room at 1AM). He gets back around 230AM and slides into bed. I put my hand on his arm but got a distinct impression from his body language that he was ready to sleep. 

Fast forward to 8am the next day. We wake up and start talking. Around 830 or so he informs me he needs to leave around 9. So we start to get a little busy again, but now I'm thinking the time is running out and I couldn't really enjoy the moment feeling like the clock is ticking, so nothing really came of it ( no pun intended hahaha). So we part amicably and I'm showering, packing up to check out and go home and I'm thinking to myself..... what was that?

So I'm confused. I let the whole experience marinate in my brain for a few weeks and now I'm asking myself... did I do something wrong? Was there something I should have said.. should I have been more direct about timing? I cant figure it out. I was going to just let it go but I cant decide. If I'm being honest, I had really high expectations and the whole thing feels like a giant letdown. Between his fee, the hotel, the bar tab, travel, etc this was an almost $3000 experience and I feel like there should have been so much more. 

So all that being said, I'd love some honest opinions. Clients, what would you do? I'm thinking about reaching out to him and expressing how I feel. Not in a nasty way but if this is his career, maybe he'd appreciate the honest feedback and what I would hope is constructive criticism? Or do I just move on? Providers, any thoughts? Is there something I should have said/done that maybe I didn't? 

 

I would have ordered a meal with him at the hotel or go out with him and grab something to eat together.

There's two important things for an overnight to be successful: time that starts, ending time and also whether dinner is included or not. 

At least sexually you had a good time.

 

[SouthOfTheBorder]

1 hour ago, Voyager2025 said:

So all that being said, I'd love some honest opinions. Clients, what would you do?

chalk it up as a learning experience & do not contact the provider 

next time you want to spend $3k+ on an extended date, go to Barcelona for a long weekend (it’s doable) and you’ll have your pick of handsome providers from around the world.  There’s no place else that offers relative security/safety and has the variety of providers at reasonable rates. 

as a US domestic alternative- hourly only & anywhere but New York City

I wouldn’t do anything with a provider before sex that may impair his performance - no food, alcohol or anything else.  I save the small-talk for after, even if I know him.  In multi-hour appointments, I look for fireworks in Hour 1.  I don’t like overnights, so 3 hours is my max.  I wouldn’t ever travel for a specific provider bc it’s too much expectation tied up in one person - I’d suggest selecting a destination based on volume of providers & ease of hiring for better opportunities. 

get back in the saddle asap !

 

Edited July 2 by SouthOfTheBorder

[Trick]

I can remember four overnights over the course of my hiring history.  While they were all enjoyable, I’ve since come to the conclusion that I’m “wasting” funds on literally sleeping with a guy.  I would have loved it if the “sleeping” were figurative. Now what I do for overnights is 3-4 appointments with different guys over a 21 hour period.  First is upon check in at around 3pm.  Next is early evening between 6-8pm.  Third is late night around 11pm.  The last one is the next day just before check out.  It costs me about 1,000 to 1,500 total but it’s action packed.

Edited July 3 by Trick

[jmichaeliii]

1 hour ago, Voyager2025 said:

Thank you for the perspective! To add a little detail, appointment started at 8pm, and he informed me he would be dining with a friend beforehand and then meeting up with me, so I did the same. Also, the "anal" part of things wasn't on the table to begin with (I'm partnered and my partner wasn't comfortable with that idea, but was cool with anything else that might happen).

I find that 2 hour min/3 hour max yield the best results.   Then the whole time is singularly focused on either massage,  playtime or both.  Then if you like each other do it again...and again...and again!

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

I don't see a smoking gun here, other than maybe the strange nature of an escort leaving a couple of times within such a short meet.  I wouldn't say that's the norm.

Bottom line, it's always all about communication.  This has less to do with the timeframe (as many here seem to bemoan) and more about how many social speed bumps there were.

In the future, plan a dinner at some point within an overnight.  Together.  It's a natural part of a date.

Not saying any of this is your fault.  It's really up to a good escort to read the room and know how things are going.  If you've been doing this long enough, there's an equation to certain time frames.  Perhaps some additions, perhaps some subtractions, but it's there.  An escort learns to make it feel natural, effortless and put you at ease from the very start.

As others here have already said, keep moving forward.  It could have been a lot worse (but glad it wasn't).

[Jamie21]

You probably needed to be a little more clear with him about your expectations. Whilst I’d always recommend not being too choreographed about things I’d say that he’s not a mind reader so you need to give some hints.

For the longer sessions I do I like to know what he’s looking for, is it chat? Is it cuddling, is it doing something sexually that he wants to try? Is it a bit of all of them? In my experience clients are often looking for things beyond the obvious, so if they don’t make their needs clear (most won’t) then you either need to ask them questions to discover it, or experiment. He should have been a bit more inquiring of you perhaps given that he knew you were inexperienced at hiring. 

 

Edited July 2 by Jamie21

[Voyager2025]

interesting takes and I'm grateful to everyone who weighed in with their perspective. After reading all of the comments, I am following the advice of chalking it up as lessons learned and moving on. And some very interesting comments on overnights in general, I think I definitely jumped into the deep end of the pool too soon. Again, lesson learned. 

[maninsoma]

3 hours ago, Voyager2025 said:

Thank you for the perspective! To add a little detail, appointment started at 8pm, and he informed me he would be dining with a friend beforehand and then meeting up with me, so I did the same. Also, the "anal" part of things wasn't on the table to begin with (I'm partnered and my partner wasn't comfortable with that idea, but was cool with anything else that might happen).

Well, that certainly changes things.  I would certainly question why someone needs something to eat only a couple of hours after you met and then says he needs to go out again a couple of hours later.  Maybe a sign of a drug problem he wanted to hide from you, or maybe he was seeing other clients for short appointments during your time together?  Even if he was just looking for food because he lifts a lot and likes to eat frequently, he should have brought some protein bars or a shake or something instead of leaving you to look for food repeatedly.

[Trick]

1 hour ago, maninsoma said:

Well, that certainly changes things.  I would certainly question why someone needs something to eat only a couple of hours after you met and then says he needs to go out again a couple of hours later.

 

My understanding is that he did not find anything to eat the first time.

[BuffaloKyle]

4 hours ago, Trick said:

I can remember four overnights over the course of my hiring history.  While they were all enjoyable, I’ve since come to the conclusion that I’m “wasting” funds on literally sleeping with a guy.  I would have loved it if the “sleeping” were figurative. Now what I do for overnights is 3-4 appointments with different guys over a 21 hour period.  First is upon check in at around 3pm.  Next is early evening between 6-8pm.  Third is late night around 11pm.  The last one is the next day just before check out.  It costs me about 1,000 to 1,500 total but it’s action packed.

While I'm not quite that wild anymore I agree. I'd rather hire for the price a few different guys for an hour or two than one guy for an overnight.

[viewing ownly]

The gist I'm taking is that it's highly likely you would've had a stupendous time if you simply saw him for a couple of hours instead of having the disappointment of an all-nighter. Lesson learned. 

Him leaving you TWICE - regardless of what his excuse was - is completely unacceptable. For all you know, he may have booked someone during your time without you knowing - and getting doubly rewarded. I think his wallet was hungry, not his stomach. 

[maninsoma]

12 hours ago, Trick said:

My understanding is that he did not find anything to eat the first time.

Yes, but it also sounds like he was gone for a while the first time so why would he think he could find something the second time at an even later hour?

[+ Pensant]

Overnights only for regulars with whom I’ve developed rapport. When traveling, I like to book an 800 pm 90 minute romp with one guy and then another romp at 3 am. I’d like to try booking one at 7 am if they’d be willing. I really like @Trick’s program.

[blck37]

I hire for overnights, whole day and multiple days quite often. Only occasion the provider would leave me unattended is when he go to gym in day hire - even then he would send me pic or live google location, without me asking.

For overnight, none has ever left me alone on the clock - we would either order room service, ubereat or go out together looking for food. 

Call me paranoid, but i would question a provider who left me alone on the clock twice each for 1,5hr in an overnight hire - unless i have rejected their offer to go out together.

That said, agree with others that one to few hours hire remain best option if you were looking for an action packed session. Long hours hire should be for a well plan vacation - day spent on sightseeing, meals, outdoor funs and end with play.

I would never hire overnight that run past 3am so sleep wont be accounted into the business hours. Most provider ends up opting to stay for the night and leave after breakfast next day free of charge - granted no play whatsoever during those non-business hours, which is to be expected. 

[blck37]

3 hours ago, maninsoma said:

Yes, but it also sounds like he was gone for a while the first time so why would he think he could find something the second time at an even later hour?

My not-so-trusting self would instantly go 'he deff is meeting other client during those hours'. Especially there was no play during your overnight hire thus he is not physically exhausted.

Had one travelling provider did this one time - but i was the 'other client' and not the one hiring him for a weekend. He ditch his client to meet me whilst his client was taking an early night.

Edited July 3 by blck37

[wanderlust307]

I don't like overnights and I also don't like one hour meets. So when I travel, we usually start with drinks at the hotel bar, then fun in the room, followed by room service dinner. At home, drinks and fun, no dinner. Of course this may not suit you.