Just 4 Fun - any funnier moments when you realized you are “old”

[BeamerBikes]

I’m cleaning out a room today, and a storage tote of VHS porn shattered into pieces.  
 

Yeah that’s my sign - the infamous box of porn used to be a good draw in my college years in the 90s to meet new “friends”. Now it’s my clue, I better lift with my knees.  

[+ APPLE1]

When I realized the barista was more likely to know and start my order than the bartender was.

Edited July 6 by APPLE1
Spelling

[+ WilliamM]

My sexy new friend is older than me

 

Serious comment 

[+ nycman]

I was talking to an older friend today about a save at work that I would have missed 20 years ago and said "I’m thankful I’m old enough to have experience". He said "just wait until it hurts to get into bed, then talk to me". And yes, the thought of it terrified me. 

[+ poolboy48220]

A friend said once "I'm at that age when you bend over to pick up something, you take a moment to see if there's anything else you need while you're down there".

[+ JamesB]

If you trip and fall, and instead of laughing, people rush over to check if you're okay, it's a clear sign you're getting old.

[+ WilliamM]

On 7/5/2024 at 9:27 PM, WilliamM said:

My sexy new friend is older than me

 

Serious comment 

The only person to understand my post is the member from San  Pedro 

[56harrisond]

[+ jeezopete]

In this previous thread I shared a story about the last time I ever went into an American Eagle store:

 

[TonyDown]

I flew to Toronto by myself for a weekend, before the age of Android.  Had some expiring miles I wanted to use.   I doubt I would do that now, by myself 

I left the hotel on foot, on my way to the symphony.  I sensed my directions were off.  I asked a parking lot guard which way to symphony hall.

Further down the road he catches up to me in his car, concerned I'd be late.  So I hopped in and arrived in time.  

Again, would I do that now?  

Next evening I wanted to see Phantom.  The theater was sold out but was told I might try at the window which I did that evening.  I was living right that weekend because the friendly lady at the window poked around and came back with a ticket.  Of course Toronto's Phantom was amazing.

Back home in the States,  I  extolled how nice that guard was along with other folks were in Toronto.

The things we did when we were young.

 

Night like a river beginning to flow
I felt the beat of my mind go
Drifting into time passages

 

Edited July 9 by TonyDown

[KrisParr]

I don’t have a funny story, just an observation on my behavior. I get pissed sometimes when I’m offered an “over 50” discount, and also pissed when I have to ask for it. Thanks, AARP, for your service.

[Welshman]

During this recent general election in the United Kingdom, I experienced it during election night when I was told that the new Labour MP for Cambridgeshire North West (who won with a majority of 39) was born in 2002 (the year that I started getting interested in local elections)

[BuffaloKyle]

[wanker]

When instead of DILF, they are seeing me as a $UGAR DIWF.

[samhexum]

“If you want to know how old a woman is, ask her sister-in-law.” (Eva Gabor)

“Old age comes at a bad time.” (Ed Sullivan)

“Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.” (Stevie Wonder)

“Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard, there is nothing you can do about it.” (Golda Meir)

“The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened. (Mark Twain)

“I’m at that age where my back goes out more than I do.” (Phyllis Diller)

“Nice to be here? At my age, it’s nice to be anywhere.” (George Burns)

“First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up; then, you forget to pull your zipper down.” (Rob Reiner)

“You spend 90 percent of your adult life hoping for a long rest and the last 10 percent trying to convince the Lord that you’re actually not THAT tired.” (Princess Grace)

“At my age, flowers scare me.” (George Burns)

“It’s like you trade the virility of the body for the agility of the spirit.” (Ed Sullivan)

“The years between 55 and 75 are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down.” (T.S Elliot)

“At age 20, we worry about what others think of us… at age 40, we don’t care what they think of us… at age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all.” (Ann Landers)

“When I was young, I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties, I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then, and I’m labeled senile.” (Milton Berle)

“The important thing to remember is that I’m probably going to forget.” (Martin Scorsese)

“We don’t grow older, we grow riper.” (Pablo Picasso)

“Everything seems to slow down with age, except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips.” (Elizabeth Taylor)

“When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old.” (Mark Twain)

“You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.” (Dennis Quaid)

“There’s one advantage to being 102, there’s no peer pressure.” (Adam & Eve)

“There are three stages in man’s Life: he believes in Santa Claus, he does not believe in Santa Claus, he is Santa Claus.” (Leon Phillips)

“Looking fifty is great — if you’re sixty.” (Joan Rivers)

“Time may be a great Healer, but it’s a lousy Beautician.” (Zsa Zsa Gabor)

Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid sideways, totally used up and worn out, shouting ‘Man, what a ride!’ (Hunter Thompson)

“It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.” (Andy Rooney)

“The older I get, the better I used to be.” (Lee Trevino)

“I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me — they’re cramming for their final exam.” (George Carlin)

AND… “Old people shouldn’t eat healthy foods. They need all the preservatives they can get.” (Bob Hope)

 

Edited September 8 by samhexum
to ensure maximum delight for the reader!

[+ Pensant]

When you research the best nose and ear hair removers: Panasonic most highly rated.

[+ sync]

It was when I noticed my forehead extends to the back of my neck.

[+ jeezopete]

As Good As I Once Was

… I ain't as good as I once was
I got a few years on me now
But there was a time, back in my prime
When I could really lay it down
If you need some love tonight
Then I might have just enough
I ain't as good as I once was, but I'm as good once
As I ever was

 

---Toby Keith Songwriters: Toby Keith / Scott Emerick

[+ Charlie]

While rummaging through a file cabinet yesterday, I came across a cache of little (4"x6") black and white "physique" magazines from the 1950s with names like Vim and Adonis that I had forgotten I still had. I used to keep them hidden under my bed and jerk off to them at night when I was in my teens. Most of the print is so tiny that I can't read it now without a magnifying glass.

[Luv2play]

7 hours ago, Charlie said:

While rummaging through a file cabinet yesterday, I came across a cache of little (4"x6") black and white "physique" magazines from the 1950s with names like Vim and Adonis that I had forgotten I still had. I used to keep them hidden under my bed and jerk off to them at night when I was in my teens. Most of the print is so tiny that I can't read it now without a magnifying glass.

They were still around in the 60 s. The only things I ever shop lifted as I was too embarrassed to buy them. But I would buy a regular magazine and hide one of the beefcake mags inside. They didn’t have to scan the purchases then and today it wouldn’t work. lol

[soloyo215]

Some woman selling candy asked me if I want to buy some. I told her that I don't eat too many sweets. She then said "Well, maybe you'd like to buy some for your grandchildren?"

Also, three weeks ago, while preparing my home for remodeling, I found these:

 

[+ sniper]

I was asked at the doctor's office if I had any recent falls.  And I answered "No, but that is because of my making a concerted effort to avoid them."

Edited September 13 by sniper