carolus Posted July 6 Share Posted July 6 I had a friend who saw a lower-level porn star on a hook-up app "looking for friends". He hit him up, and due to some bs misunderstanding they had a quarrel and he left a final message saying "ps..black c**t" he is thinking about exposing this on X and other social media, and the hit would definitely mess up his business. Should he? The person in question often does interracial shoots, so it's pretty dark overall. pubic_assistance, Danny-Darko and TonyDown 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Solution SouthOfTheBorder Posted July 6 Solution Share Posted July 6 16 minutes ago, carolus said: Should he? no. move-on. whoever is on receiving end, should consider himself lucky he didn’t have to waste time w that person + nycman, pubic_assistance, MikeBiDude and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaybeMaybeNot Posted July 6 Share Posted July 6 No. Respect the profession. When people put themselves out there to make porn, we benefit from their decision that risks a lot in their lives. This quarrel might very well be your friend's fault too. Miscommunication and misunderstanding happens. If you can't handle that, rejection, or flakiness, stay off the apps. soloyo215, pubic_assistance, + APPLE1 and 2 others 1 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thelatin Posted July 6 Share Posted July 6 Absolutely not. If this person decides to respond, you could end up in trolling that lasts years. Before you know it you’ll be in a lawyers office talking about defamation suits and restraining orders. You won’t even remember how it all started. soloyo215, liubit, + Pensant and 5 others 6 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ DynamicUno Posted July 6 Share Posted July 6 (edited) That's even assuming the profile actually belonged to the porn star in question. It's common for people to set up fake grindr profiles using the photos of porn stars or escorts they pulled from their other sources. They don't usually have any intent of meeting IRL, but the scammer gets a lot of guys sexting and sending their own pics. If all your friend has is the online interaction it's difficult to prove that he was actually interacting with the actor. Edited July 6 by DynamicUno Saabster, soloyo215, liubit and 4 others 4 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maninsoma Posted July 6 Share Posted July 6 3 hours ago, carolus said: I had a friend who saw a lower-level porn star on a hook-up app "looking for friends". He hit him up, and due to some bs misunderstanding they had a quarrel and he left a final message saying "ps..black c**t" he is thinking about exposing this on X and other social media, and the hit would definitely mess up his business. Should he? The person in question often does interracial shoots, so it's pretty dark overall. Life is too short to get drawn into such drama with someone one hasn't even met. Tell your "friend" to move on. pubic_assistance, liubit, Njguy2 and 4 others 1 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monarchy79 Posted July 6 Share Posted July 6 1. Just because the Porn Actor’s pic was on the profile, doesn’t mean it was actually him. In most cases, porn performers do not have profiles on those apps. 2.) What was the “misunderstanding” in the conversation between these two. This sounds quite messy on both parts. 3.) If your friend exposes this person, he’s going to have to expose himself and the entire thread of the conversation too (people are going to want to know it ALL). He needs to move on, and stop bickering with people on hookup apps. Danny-Darko, pubic_assistance, Luv2play and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ José Soplanucas Posted July 6 Share Posted July 6 5 hours ago, carolus said: I had a friend who saw a lower-level porn star on a hook-up app "looking for friends". He hit him up, and due to some bs misunderstanding they had a quarrel and he left a final message saying "ps..black c**t" he is thinking about exposing this on X and other social media, and the hit would definitely mess up his business. Should he? The person in question often does interracial shoots, so it's pretty dark overall. Absolutely not. If your friend exposes him for the language used in a private conversation, he will be behaving as a ps..black c**t. + nycman, Luv2play, + APPLE1 and 1 other 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soloyo215 Posted July 7 Share Posted July 7 On 7/6/2024 at 7:43 AM, carolus said: I had a friend who saw a lower-level porn star on a hook-up app "looking for friends". He hit him up, and due to some bs misunderstanding they had a quarrel and he left a final message saying "ps..black c**t" he is thinking about exposing this on X and other social media, and the hit would definitely mess up his business. Should he? The person in question often does interracial shoots, so it's pretty dark overall. No. + APPLE1 and pubic_assistance 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ JamesB Posted July 7 Share Posted July 7 On 7/6/2024 at 7:43 AM, carolus said: I had a friend who saw a lower-level porn star on a hook-up app "looking for friends". He hit him up, and due to some bs misunderstanding they had a quarrel and he left a final message saying "ps..black c**t" he is thinking about exposing this on X and other social media, and the hit would definitely mess up his business. Should he? The person in question often does interracial shoots, so it's pretty dark overall. Even considering doing this reflects poorly on your "friend." The answer is no; just move on. + glennnnn, + APPLE1, soloyo215 and 2 others 2 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SirBillybob Posted July 7 Share Posted July 7 (edited) Context needed, although nothing can justify a racist put-down, not even hypothetical provocative shade hurled at an escort seeking friendship, such as: “Oh yeah? Well you’re just a low-level B-list porn star, which in fact just makes you an oxymoron!” Edited July 7 by SirBillybob + DynamicUno 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carolus Posted July 7 Author Share Posted July 7 On 7/6/2024 at 2:46 PM, MaybeMaybeNot said: No. Respect the profession. When people put themselves out there to make porn, we benefit from their decision that risks a lot in their lives. This quarrel might very well be your friend's fault too. Miscommunication and misunderstanding happens. If you can't handle that, rejection, or flakiness, stay off the apps. Doesn't matter. For every action, there is a consequence. Yes, misunderstandings happen. but then misunderstandings aren't all of equal severity, cause or nature. I'd suggest he does air it. What then? People will know he likes to hook up? Just like millions around the world, nay billions. Humans are sexual. reality isn't an obstacle. it will fuck up his career? And? How far does this go? If a waiter in a cafe gets his order wrong, and he sees he's wearing a Star of David pendant, does this mean he can call him the k-word in anger? Why not? apparently, using slurs is acceptable when one is angry, and self-responsibility is dead in today's world. Would it be wrong in this case for the waiter to call him out? Moreover, a lot of porn stars often cite they have an official profile, in part to stop cases like this. It's part of due diligence. Even low-grade onlyfans stars who have never done pro porn do this. So I doubt he'd have much defence. Moreover, if we deem bigotry wrong, then it's not a case of being selective of stuff. I don't see it as such. Don't use bigoted language. Simple. I know some will say that's a violation of their freedom. oh fuck loool. stop being little babies. I can't walk around squeezing women's boobs. big deal. in any event, there are some shit one shouldn't do. end of story. So yeah, i think he should do it, and I've advised him to. he doesn't know the person, nor owe him anything. And if he were in that position, he'd not do that. Such is life. pubic_assistance and Danny-Darko 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ José Soplanucas Posted July 7 Share Posted July 7 This thread has been insightful for me. Now I understand better than ever before why Right Wingers denounce wokeism. They have a good point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carolus Posted July 7 Author Share Posted July 7 (edited) 7 minutes ago, José Soplanucas said: This thread has been insightful for me. Now I understand better than ever before why Right Wingers denounce wokeism. They have a good point. Maybe right-wingers don't understand the meaning of given terms. being anti-bigotry isn't being woke. i guess your conservative media aren't that intelligent or are overly agenda-driven. it further seems that you oppose condemning slurs used in bad ways. OK. I don't. I won't call a Jew the k-word, or a southeast Asian the g-word. I don't need to. i gain nothing from not doing it. I'm not a racist person, so i don't need to. if you do, or it violates your freedom, ok. freedom isn't limitless though. maybe gain the freedom not to conflate terms, or form coherent strands of thought and arguments. You're implicitly stating that you like to, or advocate, using slurs in anger. OK, if Indian Hindu accidently walks on your foot in public, and s/he evens apologises sincerely, then diminish their religion by saying they worship cows or something. i guess it's your right, since you have no self-control and it's all freedom BRUH. Edited July 7 by carolus pubic_assistance, + José Soplanucas and Luv2play 1 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ José Soplanucas Posted July 7 Share Posted July 7 (edited) Someone should write a comedy about the idiotic Left vs the idiotic Right. So much material! Edited July 7 by José Soplanucas NJF 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carolus Posted July 7 Author Share Posted July 7 the characters of mid-western/southern americans amuses me. to many, at least in contemporary Western society, openly using slurs is unacceptable. you can continue thinking you're above the grain, that's fine. though if somebody called you the f-slur for even something minor, would you accept that? would anybody here? if your boss called you up on a minor error at work, would you accept it? if you managed somebody and called them that over a minor mishap, is that acceptable? by your logic, it is. Yes, freedom is important but it's not unlimited. maybe get treated for your sociopathy, or understand the philosophical and practical applications of liberty. though looking at your country and the latest SCOTUS ruling, it seems even the Justices don't agree with the Founding Fathers anymore. pubic_assistance 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luv2play Posted July 7 Share Posted July 7 You gave your friend lousy advice. Why not leave it at that. You’re not going to convince people here that calling out the porn actor is going to result in any good. pubic_assistance, + APPLE1, Openmindedlatino and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carolus Posted July 7 Author Share Posted July 7 I'm bored of this now. I stand by my points. Racism isn't tolerable. people shouldn't be racist. any right to be racist is limited. all rights whether stated in law or not, are limited. a person can think racist thoughts, but doesn't mean they can act on them. Personally, if I saw a porn star had said bigoted shit, I'd be shocked but would make a mental note not to see their work ever, and move on from it readily, especially if it were proven correct or accurate. i doubt in a couple of weeks, I'd even think about it that much. that's all i have to say on this case. pubic_assistance and Danny-Darko 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ nycman Posted July 8 Share Posted July 8 (edited) 4 hours ago, carolus said: I'm bored of this now. Sooooo…..you didn’t really come here looking for advice, did you? You just wanted us to agree with you. Or did you just want to stir the shit "pot"….err…. Sorry…I mean "kettle"….ummm…"black"….oh, never mind. Edited July 8 by nycman Lohengrin1979, + DrownedBoy, Danny-Darko and 5 others 2 1 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ BenjaminNicholas Posted July 8 Share Posted July 8 (edited) 2 hours ago, nycman said: Sooooo…..you didn’t really come here looking for advice, did you? You just wanted us to agree with you. Or did you just want to stir the shit "pot"….err…. Sorry…I mean "kettle"….ummm…"black"….oh, never mind. Winner, winner, chicken dinner. You can tell a lot about someone by their past posts. That said, I don't see how calling someone a 'black c u n t' is racist. The word is misogynistic, but not inherently a racist slur. It was distasteful. No doubt about that. I was called a 'dumb white bitch' (in Spanish) a couple of weeks ago and laughed. I didn't consider it racist, even coming from a person who wasn't white. Be outraged when outrage is called for. This ain't it. Edited July 8 by BenjaminNicholas dcguy20, + APPLE1, pubic_assistance and 5 others 3 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danny-Darko Posted July 8 Share Posted July 8 @carolus Again, you're asking "for a friend" right?! The way you got so triggered makes me wonder about "your friend". Hummm... 🤔 Look, ALL of us have been offended or insulted at some point in life especially on these internet apps. Tell "your friend" not to walk around through life with a chip on his shoulder. Worst things happen to people every day than getting called some nasty things! pubic_assistance and + APPLE1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carolus Posted July 8 Author Share Posted July 8 (edited) 41 minutes ago, Danny-Darko said: @carolus Again, you're asking "for a friend" right?! The way you got so triggered makes me wonder about "your friend". Hummm... 🤔 Look, ALL of us have been offended or insulted at some point in life especially on these internet apps. Tell "your friend" not to walk around through life with a chip on his shoulder. Worst things happen to people every day than getting called some nasty things! i'd question who are you to say what matters to anybody? and would hold this energy consistently for anybody in this case? why not? there IS an opinion and perspective in life beyond your own. And aren't people defensive of friends? You claim to be wise. are you? or social? are you? if you're that "social" you wouldn't place these artificial impositions on random online strangers. yep, wise people "limit" what random people they don't know do! a normal person nay man would THINK "oh he won't be interested in what I say :)" and move on. it seems these things offend you. I'm glad minor things like that offend you, since the boisterous Southerner must get his way. Edited July 8 by carolus pubic_assistance and Danny-Darko 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sub boy Posted July 8 Share Posted July 8 No. Just no. But if you’re bored or just want to be messy, then yes, absolutely do it. I mean…tell “your friend” to absolutely do it 😉 + nycman, + DrownedBoy, Danny-Darko and 2 others 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carolus Posted July 8 Author Share Posted July 8 6 hours ago, nycman said: Sooooo…..you didn’t really come here looking for advice, did you? You just wanted us to agree with you. Or did you just want to stir the shit "pot"….err…. Sorry…I mean "kettle"….ummm…"black"….oh, never mind. i offered points and disagreed. i'd suggest let people say what they want. or stop assuming others fear you. they don't. that seems to trigger you deeply. why? it's how humans behave. Danny-Darko and pubic_assistance 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carolus Posted July 8 Author Share Posted July 8 3 minutes ago, Sub boy said: No. Just no. But if you’re bored or just want to be messy, then yes, absolutely do it. I mean…tell “your friend” to absolutely do it 😉 Or false moralising about asking a masseur for more. another fake "grown wise adult". pubic_assistance and Danny-Darko 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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