Safe breathplay and wrestling

[choked]

Hi,

I am new here. As you can see by my username, I am really into breathplay (as well as wrestling generally). Has anyone else pursued this safely? Any specific dom recommendations?

I have always used female dommes but wanted to explore male doms as well. I am hoping to find one with MMA or BJJ experience if possible. I am only 5'7 so most providers are way bigger than me but without martial arts experience obviously breathplay is much more risky.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

There's a wide span of how intense people get into breathplay.  Are we talking sleep sacks?

I know guys who take it as far as being chloroformed and then wake up in the scene.

It sounds like you're just into wrestling maneuvers that involve holds like sleepers.  Correct?

[choked]

7 hours ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

There's a wide span of how intense people get into breathplay.  Are we talking sleep sacks?

I know guys who take it as far as being chloroformed and then wake up in the scene.

It sounds like you're just into wrestling maneuvers that involve holds like sleepers.  Correct?

I'm comfortable being choked out actually. I don't think I'd go for choloroform though. The thrill is the struggle against someone much more powerful than myself. So it's not just chokes - I love wrestling in general.

[+ DrownedBoy]

Breath play (which my username also indicates, although I enjoy it as part of a larger BDSM ensemble) can be tricky with providers, especially younger ones. It scares them - several providers cut off contact when I brought it up.

I'd suggest looking for providers who advertise they're into BDSM and leather. They're more likely to be familiar with it.

[choked]

6 minutes ago, DrownedBoy said:

It scares them

Wimps! 😈

[choked]

On a serious note, I get it. There is obviously a huge risk if you don't do it properly hence my question for providers with martial arts experience. Choking is no big deal in BJJ circles but terrifying to those with no experience.  

Many years ago I did see one MMA guy on rentmen. I'm so bummed I didn't bookmark his page.

[borgerback]

I had one pretty bad experience with a provider who I hooked up with for a bondage scene.  Without discussing it first, he choked me out and I woke up with no idea what had happened.  I didn't complain about it (which in hindsight I should have), and I  don't think it was malicious; but it was very poor judgement on the part of that particular 'master'.  

Never saw him again, of course. 

Note this was many years ago.

[+ DrownedBoy]

The absolute safest breath play is simply holding your breath. Even if, by some freak chance, you passed out, the moment you blacked out, you'd start automatically breathing again.

It's simple enough to have a provider cover your mouth with his hand, etc., if they're ok with it. Usually I arrange to tap them so they know when to stop and let me breathe again. Others can be overly cautious, and let go too soon, even though I'm good at holding my breath.

Physically choking someone with your hands or a rope is too dangerous for me. A provider once thought I'd like being choked, but I had to stop him.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

On 7/18/2024 at 7:29 PM, choked said:

Wimps! 😈

They're not wimps...  They're just not experienced.

And, frankly, smart for backing away from something that can kill another human being if done wrong.

[+ m_writer]

I'm not an expert and will never pretend to be, but I do breathplay with several providers, so....

*cracks knuckles*

If the provider it willing, after tying them spread-eagled face up, I gag them with a thick cloth gag so that the majority of their breathing is through their nose, and in intervals, I hold and press down a pillow over their face (i.e 30 seconds with a pillow, then 30 seconds to allow them to catch their breath). If they want to stop, they give the safety signal of snapping their fingers.

I don't like choking because it's possible to permanently damage the voicebox or larynx. For one provider who asked me to do it, after typing him up, I simply held my thumb over a portion of his neck and that was enough for him to get high off it (there was no need to wrap him in a chokehold or wrap my hands around his throat). However, believe it or not, the pillow is effective enough where it was give off the same high but a safer alternative where it won't damage anything around the throat or neck. Said same escort simply brushed it off when he started, saying it wasn't a big deal, but by the end, he was thrashing and groaning while being muffled by the pillow and gasping when allowed a breath, so he was caught by surprise at how much the pillow pressing against his nostrils made it difficult and he couldn't really breathe or scream out because he was gagged.

As for doms, here's what I suggest:

1. Look around your area for doms experienced in bondage, but then try them out for a session without breathplay. I didn't think I needed it, but thanks to advice from fellow forum members, it really makes a difference if the provider and you have established some sort of rapport and history to get to know each other better. See if this dom respects you, follows your wishes, and gives you a good feeling in the way he handles his domination. After that session or two, bring up the breathplay.

2. Consent. See if the dom respects your safeword and immediately stops. Example: I had a session with two providers as a couple and though I explained the pillow breathplay session and they agreed beforehand, one of the pair freaked out when I did it to his partner, afraid I was hurting him. Both asked to stop for their safety, and though disappointed, I agreed to cut the session short and wished them well as they both left. As much as I would have liked the continue, if the provider wants to stop, I must stop for their safety and wishes. Whoever your dom will be, ensure he does the same to you. If you change your mind in the middle of the session, you are allowed to do so and check if your dom does the same.

3. I wouldn't recommend the choking, and would suggest the being gagged with a pillow, but if you must, after seeing if the dom has had any experience with it, try having your dom simply pressed with one hand across your artery or neck, enough to give a comfortable pressure without it hurting. And ensure your dom knows CPR and is aware of any medications or allergies from you should there be a worst case where he needs to call an ambulance. Also let your dom know if you have any injuries (I had to tie one escort in another manner when he revealed he had shoulder surgery).

So be safe and research, but instead of choking, see if other forms of smothering could still get you off.  If you find a dom, try him out for a session or two to get a feel for him before you decide if you can trust him or not. And ensure he respects your consent and stop immedaitely if you can't take it anymore.

Hope this helps.

[pizzaBoy]

Am I the only one here who's never heard of any of this? I'm turned on by a lot of things, but suffocation isn't high on the list. 

[Becket]

On 7/18/2024 at 7:29 PM, choked said:

Wimps! 😈

Scares me as well. Wimp I am, I suppose.

[+ m_writer]

2 hours ago, pizzaBoy said:

Am I the only one here who's never heard of any of this? I'm turned on by a lot of things, but suffocation isn't high on the list. 

It's actually part of erotic asphyxiation (Wiki article).

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

19 hours ago, pizzaBoy said:

Am I the only one here who's never heard of any of this? I'm turned on by a lot of things, but suffocation isn't high on the list. 

There's a huge market for these types of sex play.

It's all a branch-off of the dom/sub relationship.

[pizzaBoy]

1 hour ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

There's a huge market for these types of sex play.

It's all a branch-off of the dom/sub relationship.

I have so much to learn lol