wanderlust307 Posted July 18 Share Posted July 18 We've all been through this wonderful feeling in love phase. How long does it last? I read between a few months and a couple of years. What is your experience? And since we are on the topic, a second question, how often? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pubic_assistance Posted July 18 Share Posted July 18 The early stage of Love is called cathexis. There is no guaranteed length of time where it may linger but here is a description of what we feel and why. How Freud Says Cathexis and Anticathexis Control Psychic Energy WWW.VERYWELLMIND.COM In Freud's theory of drives, he described a cathexis as a release of psychic energy. Learn more about... wanderlust307 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ DynamicUno Posted July 18 Share Posted July 18 That's highly subjective. Of course, never "fall" for a guy for hire, since you will inevitably regret the consequences when reality breaks in. liubit, Johnrom, wanderlust307 and 3 others 2 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
liubit Posted July 18 Share Posted July 18 I fell in love 20+ years ago with my now husband and I am still in love with him. As far as providers are concerned, I fall in love for the exact duration of our session, and the feeling ceases the moment he walks out my door. 😉 + Vegas_Millennial, BonVivant, MikeBiDude and 4 others 4 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wanderlust307 Posted July 18 Author Share Posted July 18 4 minutes ago, liubit said: I fell in love 20+ years ago with my now husband and I am still in love with him. But are you in love, or love him? Being in love, for example can't wait to see him, doesn't last that long. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wanderlust307 Posted July 18 Author Share Posted July 18 1 hour ago, DynamicUno said: That's highly subjective. Of course, never "fall" for a guy for hire, since you will inevitably regret the consequences when reality breaks in. Subjective, but we know when it happens. And providers or not, very often we face consequences. BonVivant 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wanderlust307 Posted July 18 Author Share Posted July 18 1 hour ago, pubic_assistance said: The early stage of Love is called cathexis. There is no guaranteed length of time where it may linger but here is a description of what we feel and why. How Freud Says Cathexis and Anticathexis Control Psychic Energy WWW.VERYWELLMIND.COM In Freud's theory of drives, he described a cathexis as a release of psychic energy. Learn more about... Thats interesting. pubic_assistance 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
liubit Posted July 18 Share Posted July 18 7 minutes ago, wanderlust307 said: But are you in love, or love him? Being in love, for example can't wait to see him, doesn't last that long. You make a good point. I understand the difference and I can say that I am still in love with him, or that I intensely love him….Your choice. wanderlust307 and + Vegas_Millennial 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
viewing ownly Posted July 18 Share Posted July 18 What can be complicated is finding the difference between love and obsession. Obsession leads to restraining orders. Love sucks when it isn't mutual. I feel for people who fall in love and when over time love is blossomed from the other person, the love waned or completely dissipated because it took too long. It also makes it difficult to ever want to find love again. For my mother, her love is eternal for my dad, now over 50 years divorced. For my dad, love ended when she refused to get an abortion with me. + Vegas_Millennial, pubic_assistance and BonVivant 1 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BonVivant Posted July 19 Share Posted July 19 Ah love. Fickle master of our fates. In my case, it was always unrequited from my side. I loved; but never got it back in full measure. Or it came from someone I didn’t feel the same for. Bad luck? My fate? I am told, As per my horoscope, it was either love and marriage when young (<23) or when old (>54). The former was true in the sense that I had opportunities. Then they all went away. Will they come back? Maybe. Let’s see. thomas 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ nycman Posted July 19 Share Posted July 19 On 7/18/2024 at 6:50 AM, wanderlust307 said: How long does it last? About 35 min, or until I cum. Whichever happens first. BonVivant, Johnrom, pubic_assistance and 8 others 1 1 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caramelsub Posted July 21 Share Posted July 21 On 7/19/2024 at 5:16 PM, nycman said: About 35 min, or until I cum. Whichever happens first. This is actually pretty valid. Through out the day I notice I am super horny. Especially when I go to the gym, I just want to have sex with all the hot guys I see there. But as soon as I go home, watch porn, jerk off and cum, I lose interest in men and sex very quickly… Until the next day when the cycle starts all over again. + nycman, Johnrom, Whippoorwill and 5 others 1 5 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamie21 Posted July 22 Share Posted July 22 On 7/19/2024 at 10:16 PM, nycman said: About 35 min, or until I cum. Whichever happens first. Ha ha, yes. That’s lust though. King Charles knows what love is now…but he didn’t when he replied to the question about being in love with Diana “yes…whatever ‘in love’ means” in 1981. Johnrom, Whippoorwill, mike carey and 1 other 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ WilliamM Posted July 26 Share Posted July 26 I am in love right now with an older man who is retired college professor . Not sure how long it will last. But guys our age have a good chance wanderlust307, MikeBiDude, thomas and 2 others 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rudynate Posted July 26 Share Posted July 26 What people call "being in love," to me, is infatuation. For me, infatuation lasts for a few weeks to a couple months. With my husband, things were different. We didn't become infatuated. Anyone would agree that he's drop-dead handsome, but the thing that really got me about him was the dignified way he conducts himself. From the very start of our relationship, I was pretty sure I wanted to spend my life with him. Johnrom, thomas, Casual and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeezifonly Posted July 27 Share Posted July 27 I’ve heard this early stage of obsessive romance called “limerance” and I think it’s especially apt for gay love because it sounds less diagnostic and more sparkly. It’s always meant as the lure into bonding. Meant to give way to some other connection. Anything from nothing, to partnership, friendship, FWB, life-long marriage. It’s magical and I love that I got to have it with my husband, and others before him. I never really had it with the obligatory college girlfriend. I think those with long relationships who still have that “can’t stop thinking about you, can’t keep my hands off you” aspect unchanged, are few and far-between. + Charlie and Andy768 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ WilliamM Posted August 4 Share Posted August 4 On 7/25/2024 at 9:50 PM, WilliamM said: I am in love right now with an older man who is retired college professor . Not sure how long it will last. But guys our age have a good chance Thanks for the previous responses. we live in the same building , which has been a plus. Surprised he never been outsider the United States. Any suggestions on where we should go. I have been to Australia, Russia and Brazil Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wanderlust307 Posted August 5 Author Share Posted August 5 6 hours ago, WilliamM said: Any suggestions on where we should go. Obviously Europe. London, Paris, Rome, Madrid, Barcelona, Athens, Copenhagen, Amsterdam, Munich, Hamburg, Vienna, Istanbul and the list goes on. Pick one city max two. Don't do the Grand Tour of Europe in a week 😅 + nycman and thomas 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ WilliamM Posted August 5 Share Posted August 5 15 hours ago, wanderlust307 said: Obviously Europe. London, Paris, Rome, Madrid, Barcelona, Athens, Copenhagen, Amsterdam, Munich, Hamburg, Vienna, Istanbul and the list goes on. Pick one city max two. Don't do the Grand Tour of Europe in a week 😅 He taught college British Literature for many years, so probably London. I believe hebelieve he also taught Jewish literature thomas 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ Charlie Posted August 6 Share Posted August 6 5 hours ago, WilliamM said: He taught college British Literature for many years, so probably London. I believe hebelieve he also taught Jewish literature I can't imagine a college professor who taught British literature and never went to London! If that's true, you should definitely go there. Whippoorwill, wanderlust307 and MikeBiDude 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ WilliamM Posted August 6 Share Posted August 6 1 hour ago, Charlie said: I can't imagine a college professor who taught British literature and never went to London! If that's true, you should definitely go there. That is true, my friend He is not very talkative outside the classroom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wanderlust307 Posted August 6 Author Share Posted August 6 (edited) 5 hours ago, WilliamM said: That is true, my friend He is not very talkative outside the classroom You may consider combining London with Edinburgh for a day or two. I'd love to see how the English professor copes with the Scottish accent. 😅 Edited August 6 by wanderlust307 + WilliamM and BonVivant 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SD_Exec Posted August 9 Share Posted August 9 I've been seeing the same provider for over 3 years now, and we still spend lots, lots of time together, and we say I love you to each other all the time. We have an amazing chemistry. Real love can exist even when you're paying the guy. I am married (no sex with my husband), and I have kids. I'm happy with my long term relationship with the provider. Johnrom, BonVivant, Whippoorwill and 2 others 1 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SD_Exec Posted August 9 Share Posted August 9 On 7/19/2024 at 4:44 AM, BonVivant said: Ah love. Fickle master of our fates. In my case, it was always unrequited from my side. I loved; but never got it back in full measure. Or it came from someone I didn’t feel the same for. Bad luck? My fate? I am told, As per my horoscope, it was either love and marriage when young (<23) or when old (>54). The former was true in the sense that I had opportunities. Then they all went away. Will they come back? Maybe. Let’s see. You have many people who love you and you might not even know. Whenever I need to have some faith again, I take some time to work on myself, maybe work on some personal project or business. There can be love without marriage BonVivant 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moonlight Posted August 10 Share Posted August 10 (edited) 2 hours ago, SD_Exec said: Real love can exist even when you're paying the guy. I haven't been on this site long, but this seems like a common delusion here. Take away the cash payments and you'll see how much mutual "real love" there is. I'm glad you're in a situation you're happy with but it seems like a dangerous mindset to me. That's not to say there can't be mutual admiration and respect among provider and client. But that ain't real love. Maybe it's just semantics. Edited August 10 by moonlight wanderlust307, caramelsub, DWsoccer and 1 other 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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