Providers: have you ever been unable to get it up for a client?

[Gandalf]

I mean rock hard get it up, not semi-get it up.  If so, how'd that work out?  Is there a fee difference?

[dbar123]

As a client it’s happened to me with at least 6 providers, maybe more. In no case was a discount offered….and in no case did I initiated a follow up visit.

Edited July 22 by dbar123

[+ KensingtonHomo]

I'm not sure how many providers would admit to that. 

We've had it happen a few times. Sometimes, I suspect the guys have already been working in the past 24 hours. Other times, I think it's nerves. 

I am surprised that more guys don't take viagra to ensure they can perform. 

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Shit happens.  

I believe it was Enlightenment poet Alexander Pope who once said To err is human...  To have hard cock, divine.

You take a breather, you get a glass of water, you run up some library stairs, you punch a large slab of beef and you get back to it.

The more you stress about it, the worse it gets.

[+ nycman]

8 minutes ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

The more you stress about it, the worse it gets.

Same goes for clients. I recently had a hire that was boring as fuck. Beautiful Brazilian body, cock, and ass. Unfortunately his "let’s get this over with" attitude was a total dick killer. I plowed ahead, for the love of Queen and country, of course. But he was such a lousy lay that I  should have been the one getting paid to keep it up. 

[Jamie21]

53 minutes ago, nycman said:

Same goes for clients. I recently had a hire that was boring as fuck. Beautiful Brazilian body, cock, and ass. Unfortunately his "let’s get this over with" attitude was a total dick killer. I plowed ahead, for the love of Queen and country, of course. But he was such a lousy lay that I  should have been the one getting paid to keep it up. 

You do need a bit of response sometimes. I had a client who just lay there like a corpse… I mean you start to think ‘am I doing something wrong? Is he enjoying it? Is there still a pulse?’… That makes it difficult to get hard if you think there’s a problem. I had to really focus (and check his vitals).

I asked afterwards “how was it for you?” (obviously using less cliched language) and he said he loved it. Well it certainly didn’t seem that way! Whereas those clients who give encouraging responses are so much easier to get up for. 

[BonVivant]

There is always a little viagra….

[KrisParr]

I had been seeing a provider for almost a year on a regular basis. I thought he was amazing and the sex and equally so. Until one time, he was unable to perform. He said he’d had a few new customers and just wasn’t “up” to it and didn’t charge me. Happened again the next time. Finally figured out he was getting pretty deep into the drug scene. The twist? His real life job was an addiction counselor. Sad. We parted ways and he disappeared off the radar. 

[Occasional]

On 7/22/2024 at 11:09 PM, Jamie21 said:

I had a client who just lay there like a corpse … I asked afterwards “how was it for you?” (obviously using less cliched language) and he said he loved it. Well it certainly didn’t seem that way!

Sounds as if it was all going on in his head, so to speak.  You don't, of course, know the client's backstory, his psycholgical makeup, his baggage. Has his life experience always been having to 'deliver for other people'?  So that, for him, it's a rare and precious indulgence to just lie back and savour the experience with you, without feeling the slightest obligation to reciprocate or feed back in the moment?

[+ Kevin Eagle]

I manage expectations before the session so they know I may not get hard. As I mainly am advertising the massage with a happy ending, there is less of an expectation for me to be hard

[Jamie21]

3 hours ago, Occasional said:

Sounds as if it was all going on in his head, so to speak.  You don't, of course, know the client's backstory, his psycholgical makeup, his baggage. Has his life experience always been having to 'deliver for other people'?  So that, for him, it's a rare and precious indulgence to just lie back and savour the experience with you, without feeling the slightest obligation to reciprocate or feed back in the moment?

Yes it does with some clients. I can tell when there’s a lot going on in their head, there’s clear signs both before they get on the table and during. It could be to do with emotions around shame and guilt or simply anxiety if they’re new to this kind of thing or about doing something illicit and edgy.

Before the massage I ask a few questions about injuries, areas to avoid, preferences and I give them an opportunity to ask me questions. I tell them it’s fine to interact with me as much or as little as they like. Occasionally clients will tell me a bit about why they’ve come and then I can understand how they might react on the table but that’s rare. Usually they don’t have questions.

Although as a sensual masseur I’m working on their body I know that the work I’m really doing is on their head, in their brain. That’s the difference between a therapist masseur and a sensual masseur. The former works the body only. The latter works the body (and creates the environment) AND the mind to get the client to a sexual climax. In most instances if you’re doing that well you can get them to a state where all that ‘noise’ going on in their brain is drowned out and they can simply enjoy the moment. That doesn’t mean they have to reciprocate (in fact I usually prefer not too much reciprocation) but if they are in the right headspace then they won’t be able to control (or even be aware of) their physical reactions. 

So that’s why I look for some kind of physical reaction. It’s external proof that I’ve done the job of getting in their mind. The sex organ I focus on is in their head not their pants. 

 

Edited August 11 by Jamie21

[marylander1940]

I'm sure it happens but sooner or later if it keeps happening it becomes a career ending difficulty. 

On 8/10/2024 at 6:26 PM, KrisParr said:

I had been seeing a provider for almost a year on a regular basis. I thought he was amazing and the sex and equally so. Until one time, he was unable to perform. He said he’d had a few new customers and just wasn’t “up” to it and didn’t charge me. Happened again the next time. Finally figured out he was getting pretty deep into the drug scene. The twist? His real life job was an addiction counselor. Sad. We parted ways and he disappeared off the radar. 

Sad but true! 

Unfortunately this lifestyle enables them to do it and sooner or later they can't even remember they had an appointment.

On 7/23/2024 at 9:40 AM, BonVivant said:

There is always a little viagra….

no doubt! 

Nowadays BB sex makes it easier to keep it up.

[misterhumphries]

On 7/22/2024 at 10:40 AM, Gandalf said:

I mean rock hard get it up, not semi-get it up.  If so, how'd that work out?  Is there a fee difference?

I believe this does happen quite frequently. Providers, we must remember, are still human.. Most challenging of all must be the clients who do think all they have to do is lie there or assume whatever position they choose and expect magic to happen. Foreplay is everything.

As for the fee, the fee is for an escort's time. There is never a guarantee that a client will get his lights fucked out

[Luv2play]

I have had it happen only twice in many decades of hiring. In each case I negotiated a reduction in fee as it was for a multi hour, in one case, overnight session. They both agreed. Never hired them again. Also didn’t leave any reviews. Just let it go. 

[Boaxxx]

I always wonder how providers get aroused when they are not sexually attracted to the client. I'd rate myself a high 6, not everyone's type, and I always get a little anxious thinking that the provider will not be that excited to have me as a client.  This especially happens when the provider is really good looking and fit (so 90% of them LOL).

Edited August 16 by Boaxxx

[marylander1940]

11 minutes ago, Boaxxx said:

I always wonder how providers get aroused when they are not sexually attracted to the client. I'd rate myself a high 6, not everyone's type, and I always get a little anxious thinking that the provider will not be that excited to have me as a client.  This especially happens when the provider is really good looking and fit (so 90% of them LOL).

Exactly, that's why not everyone can escort.

[jmichaeliii]

1 hour ago, Boaxxx said:

I always wonder how providers get aroused when they are not sexually attracted to the client. I'd rate myself a high 6, not everyone's type, and I always get a little anxious thinking that the provider will not be that excited to have me as a client.  This especially happens when the provider is really good looking and fit (so 90% of them 

At one point I felt this way and now don't care.  I have 2 regular providers that in my eyes are smoking hot and every session is amazing.  Either I look better than I give myself credit for or they are really good actors.  Give them an Oscar and I'll keep enjoying!

[+ purplekow]

Hey sometimes the escort is  so hard it rocks the bed and sometimes it is hardly hard.  No matter to me actually. I can figure out something that will get me and usually my escort off.  If you cannot figure out what to do with a beautiful man whose dick is delicious but not rock hard or whose body is drool inducing but not quite up for a full session, then shame on you.  We all are, after all, responsible for our own orgasms, paid for or not.  Just because you are paying for playing does not mean you can expect your partner to take full responsibility for your enjoyment. 

In fact, sometimes, it feels particularly rewarding to get an escort off who was having some initial lift off issues.  When that happens, I mention that he now may now thank me and indicate how that is best likely to happen for me.  

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

3 hours ago, marylander1940 said:

Exactly, that's why not everyone can escort.

[+ nycman]

58 minutes ago, purplekow said:

We all are, after all, responsible for our own orgasms

I’m gonna put that on a T-shirt. 

[+ purplekow]

5 hours ago, nycman said:

I’m gonna put that on a T-shirt. 

The quote or the orgasm?

[Wolfer]

9 hours ago, Boaxxx said:

I always wonder how providers get aroused when they are not sexually attracted to the client.

I've spoken to few escorts about this and the answers have been very varied. From some having such a high libido that their dick gets hard at the mere thought of fucking they can fuck anything that's alive, moves and is human.

Another told me the idea of someone paying him is what turns him on, regardless of the client's looks.

Another told me that the look of most clients (usually older) is genuinely what he's into.

Another said that the idea of being able to help someone experience pleasure who may not usually get that chance is what turns them on.

[marylander1940]

we all can have a bad day... even with hookups some young guys might not be able to perform with other young/hot guys. Lifestyle, alcohol, pressure, etc. and of course just having a bad day. 

The pill helps in most case fortunately

[Lolito]

 A hidden cause can be prostate inflammation.

If you’ve ever been a top and had a very messy 💩 encounter with the bottom, and you find that you spontaneously can’t get hard hours later or the next day , it could be due to ecoli or other bacteria from poop that traveled up your urethra, infected your prostate, leading it to swell, and messing with erectile response.

I learned this myself recently after going to doctor for it. Many providers I’ve hired (tops) also know this, and it’s partly why they might insist on safe sex- this issue can clearly mess with their money.
 

Poop is an incredible vector/transporter of disease. 

Sex and the prostate: Overcoming erectile dysfunction when you have prostate disease - Harvard Health

WWW.HEALTH.HARVARD.EDU

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Edited August 17 by Lolito

[+ DrownedBoy]

As a client, I never expect a provider to get hard, or get off.

To be fair - I wouldn't expect all guys to get off on the same stuff I do anyway.

I do recall, many years ago, giving a bj to an escort (something I almost never offer to hires). He somewhat clumsily pretended to have an orgasm. I told him it was sweet, but he didn't need to try and prop up my ego.