First time trying, No Reply and money wasted

[ItsCalvin]

I messaged a guy a couple days ago in advance asking for their rate and an appointment, got the okay for them so I booked a nearby hotel. I messaged them yesterday and got no reply (I figured they were busy). Messaged them again today still no reply and so now sitting alone in my hotel room 3 hrs passed our appointment. I guess I should just pack up and head home.

I planned for a hotel to be on the safer side in case things looked off or the vibe was off, but I didn't think I'd get screwed for that. Do you guys usually just meet are your place?

I'm aware crap happens or maybe they weren't interested anymore, but damn, a courtesy reply would have been appreciated. This is some Grindr foolishness that I was hoping to avoid.

Does anyone have other advice I should keep in mind moving forward?

Also, what does MT and HE mean? (I'm assuming mutual? and... ending?)

[viewing ownly]

MT and HE are what you think. Touch is the "T".

I've no opinion on getting a room and having it fizzle out. I expect the person I hire to have a room already, or it's no dice. It does suck that you were put in that situation, but not sure what prevented you from attempting to find someone else - even if it meant leaving your hotel. 

Having a masseur come to our own residences is an extreme rarity. Discreetness is key for practically everyone, so the method of masseurs coming to us is not what hardly any of us do. 

When your second message that same day went reply-less, that was the time to act on making other arrangements, in my opinion. Then it would've only sucked if you DID get a reply after planning something else - that's how sometimes nothing ends up going your way. 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

7 hours ago, viewing ownly said:

Having a masseur come to our own residences is an extreme rarity. Discreetness is key for practically everyone, so the method of masseurs coming to us is not what hardly any of us do. 

When your second message that same day went reply-less, that was the time to act on making other arrangements, in my opinion. Then it would've only sucked if you DID get a reply after planning something else - that's how sometimes nothing ends up going your way. 

Obviously, you're going to see a lot of different scenarios. For instance, we mostly host providers. It's just our preference. But we're in a building in NYC, and we average 1-2 a month, some regulars. So there's the anonymity of NYC, plus we don't have a parade of randos every week. 

I would not worry about inviting over a provider who is well reviewed on here and RM. 

[wanderlust307]

8 hours ago, ItsCalvin said:

I messaged a guy a couple days ago in advance asking for their rate and an appointment, got the okay for them so I booked a nearby hotel. I messaged them yesterday and got no reply (I figured they were busy). Messaged them again today still no reply and so now sitting alone in my hotel room 3 hrs passed our appointment. I guess I should just pack up and head home.

I planned for a hotel to be on the safer side in case things looked off or the vibe was off, but I didn't think I'd get screwed for that. Do you guys usually just meet are your place?

I'm aware crap happens or maybe they weren't interested anymore, but damn, a courtesy reply would have been appreciated. This is some Grindr foolishness that I was hoping to avoid.

Does anyone have other advice I should keep in mind moving forward?

Also, what does MT and HE mean? (I'm assuming mutual? and... ending?)

In my experience advanced arrangements don't work. Most people are looking for now.  

Also hotels and outcalls are an inconvenience. Why don't you host so you can go to bed right after.

[jackcali]

8 hours ago, ItsCalvin said:

I planned for a hotel to be on the safer side in case things looked off or the vibe was off, but I didn't think I'd get screwed for that. Do you guys usually just meet are your place?

 

I don't host, even for regulars, mostly because of nosy neighbors in my building.  If you're going to get a hotel room, I suggest you use dayuse.com or one of the other short-term hotel apps.  You get the room for only four or six or maybe eight hours (and it's during the day rather than overnight), but you can reserve a room and not pay for it until you check in.  That way, if your plans with the escort go sideways, you can save the cost of the hotel. 

For added confidentiality, I usually ask the escort to book the room.  If it's the first time I'm hiring that escort, I meet him in front of the hotel to confirm that I'm real before he checks in and spends the money (for which I eventually reimburse him). 

[+ APPLE1]

A little more than 50% of the time, I hire when I am am traveling, so hotel cost is irrelevant to me. I also have no issues scheduling incalls when I am traveling.

When I hire at "home," I have never picked incall or outcall based on concern for my person or possessions. Personally, I have never had a negative experience in those regards.

I will say that no matter if decide to host or travel, be certain YOU are truly comfortable. If I spent the session with safety lingering in the back of my mind, it just wouldn't be an exceptionally enjoyable experience for me.

And I am certainly not criticizing his choices on this, or insinuating that he would make other choices if he were single, but I hope you caught that @KensingtonHomo said WE. IF safety is in fact a concern for YOU, you need to be sure you are comfortable with inviting someone over if you're home alone.

[+ JamesB]

When I’m traveling, I have no issues hosting in my hotel, especially if I’m not very familiar with the city. When I'm at home and it's a first-time hire, I prefer to go to the provider’s place or book a hotel room if I don't like their location. For traveling providers, I always go to their place. As for my regulars, I have no problem hosting at my place.

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

On 7/22/2024 at 8:45 PM, ItsCalvin said:

Do you guys usually just meet are your place?

Yes, I meet at my place or his.  I have never booked a hotel room for a massage; and, I have enjoyed hundreds of massages.

On 7/22/2024 at 8:45 PM, ItsCalvin said:

Also, what does MT and HE mean?

 

On 7/22/2024 at 9:24 PM, viewing ownly said:

MT and HE are what you think...

I also find it confusing when men use abbreviations that have no reference earlier in the thread. 

In context of massages, I assumed MT meant "Massage Therapist" (CMT means "Certified Massage Therapist") and HE was something subjective like "Healing Experience".  I don't pay attention to comments on this website that dwell on those abbreviations.  Instead, I look to see if the massuer has a good advertised price and then check for a positive review (or at least no negative reviews) that confirms the gentleman gives a thorough deep massage, preferably written by a someone who has been a forum member for several years.

[viewing ownly]

32 minutes ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

Yes, I meet at my place or his.  I have never booked a hotel room for a massage; and, I have enjoyed hundreds of massages.

 

I also find it confusing when men use abbreviations that have no reference earlier in the thread. 

In context of massages, I assumed MT meant "Massage Therapist" (CMT means "Certified Massage Therapist") and HE was something subjective like "Healing Experience".  I don't pay attention to comments on this website that dwell on those abbreviations.  Instead, I look to see if the massuer has a good advertised price and then check for a positive review (or at least no negative reviews) that confirms the gentleman gives a thorough deep massage, preferably written by a someone who has been a forum member for several years.

You do bring up a very valid point. I think "HE" as an abbreviation for happy ending is far more recognizable than "MT" is for mutual touch, but when those two are being used together as abbreviations, it's implied (potentially erroneously) that is what is being asked about.

I let a friend know that I saw "VH" last weekend, but stopped myself before sending my message, because that is far better known for Van Halen rather than Vertical Horizon which is who I saw, LOL!

[rvwnsd]

For a massage, I typically go to the masseur's place. Seems a lot easier than having him haul his table to my place, set it up, etc. For escort sessions, I typically host at my place. That said, I have travelled to another city (typically Pam Springs or LA) to see guys and will book a hotel as I will be staying at least one night. So far, no one has no-showed but if they did I would call another provider.

[viewing ownly]

8 hours ago, rvwnsd said:

For a massage, I typically go to the masseur's place. Seems a lot easier than having him haul his table to my place, set it up, etc. For escort sessions, I typically host at my place. That said, I have travelled to another city (typically Pam Springs or LA) to see guys and will book a hotel as I will be staying at least one night. So far, no one has no-showed but if they did I would call another provider.

RVWNSD is indicating Los Angeles, not Louisiana, for those people who feel the need to chime in with that nonsense clarification. Now if only people who live in "OC" can be more specific as to the city they're actually in, rather than a mecca of nearly 3 million people in countless cities of Orange County, California. At least in New York City, they REALLY get specific to their regions. 

[rvwnsd]

1 hour ago, viewing ownly said:

...Now if only people who live in "OC" can be more specific as to the city they're actually in, rather than a mecca of nearly 3 million people in countless cities of Orange County, California. At least in New York City, they REALLY get specific to their regions. 

"OC" could also be Orange County, Florida, although no one ever calls it that.

It is funny to hear people say they live in "Orange County." Irvine? San Clemente? Anaheim? Fountain Valley? All wildly different places.

But back to the topic. On those occasions where I take a road trip to see an escort there is always something else on the docket of things for me to do.