Best position for newbie bottom

[GCMan]

I'm new to man on man intimacy. I'd like to be topped. What's the best position to be in for a new bottom starting out? Least risk for pain/injury and highest chance of enjoyment? I'd welcome input for anybody, but I'd also like to hear from providers specifically that work with new guys if they find particular positions best for a new comer. Thanks.

[Trick]

From my experience, the doggie style is an easy starting position. I like missionary because I like seeing the top’s face, but many tops l’ve met like to start with the doggie.

[56harrisond]

 

[56harrisond]

Regarding a new bottom's enjoyment, a lot depends on how skilled he is as a top and his D size. And how comfortable and relaxed you are as the bottom.

[GCMan]

I’m completely unskilled and likely very nervous and not relaxed! 

[GCMan]

Thanks for video!

[56harrisond]

1 minute ago, GCMan said:

I’m completely unskilled and likely very nervous and not relaxed! 

The top will/should/better help you relax.

[56harrisond]

10 minutes ago, GCMan said:

I’m completely unskilled and likely very nervous and not relaxed! 

Getting rimmed with help relax you and your hole. If your top has any questions, give him this to read: @Simon Suraci's rimming guide 

 

[misterhumphries]

1 hour ago, GCMan said:

I'm new to man on man intimacy. I'd like to be topped. What's the best position to be in for a new bottom starting out? Least risk for pain/injury and highest chance of enjoyment? I'd welcome input for anybody, but I'd also like to hear from providers specifically that work with new guys if they find particular positions best for a new comer. Thanks.

I'd say the best position is with you straddling your partner. Use his cock like a living dildo. This way you control the speed, depth, and duration of penetration. In the missionary and doggy style you are at the fucker's mercy (unless you get hot from giving up that degree of control and possibly being pounded into oblivion). 

[GCMan]

Great advice - thanks. Good place to start. Later, because it does sound hot, I might like to get pounded into oblivion!

[Jamie21]

Be comfortable with the top before you think about positions. Once you find a guy you like and trust I agree with @misterhumphriesthat straddling him is best because you’re in control of the depth and angle and pace. Before long you’ll be on your back with your legs over his shoulders and begging for him to go harder🤪. I prefer to top guys like that because I can see their expressions as it goes in and kissing is possible. 

[GCMan]

Thanks - that’s a real fantasy - that position and scenario with a verbal top. Thanks everybody! I think I will start with the straddle - though I worry about being a bit timid. But I think with the right, patient, top it will work. 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

Yes, starting on top is the best approach. You can face him so you can see him, and you can take it at your own pace. 

Another piece of advice, which is going to be a challenge your first few times is that you have to RELAX. So, you need to start warming up. Get a dildo (not too big) and use that with a lot of lube. When you feel pain or resistance, stop - take a deep breath and as you breathe out through your mouth imaging your rectum relaxing. Do this until he's in. And then start slowly moving up and down. Once you're warm and open, he can take over. 

The Bottom's Digest on YouTube is also a great resource: https://www.youtube.com/@BottomsDigest

[Thelatin]

On top is great - but you might practice somehow first.  I don’t know your age, weight or condition.  Make sure your body is up to it first. 

[ShortCutie7]

My first time bottoming was actually the least painful, probably because I wanted it so badly.  I found missionary to be the most pleasant and comfortable position.  I didn’t have the coordination/experience to actually keep the cock in my hole when I tried to sit on it- being in a more submissive position made it easier to take.  But again, I have very limited experience so take that for what you will.

[Your Man in Arlington]

I highly recommend spooning: as long as the top doesn't push, it's gives the bottom all of the control of straddling without the pressure of gravity and the natural relaxation being able to pull your legs up slightly and "position" everything.

[GCMan]

Many thanks to everyone! Great help. To answer previous question, I’m 6’3” 190. 55. In decent shape. 

[Simon Suraci]

I agree cowboy position (on top) is good for getting going, even for experienced bottoms. I prefer this myself when I bottom and need to ease in at first. However, the bottom needs to feel comfortable and confident in what he is doing. First timers often aren’t, which can lend itself to unnecessary anxiety, pressure, and uncertainty having to control all the action without really knowing what works best for himself yet. Everyone is different.

I enjoy popping a man’s cherry missionary style because I know what I’m doing and he doesn’t have to fret about anything. He doesn’t have to do anything, really. We pace ourselves according to his comfort, and take breaks when necessary. I respond to his body and verbal cues and take it from there. Being face to face helps build and sustain the connection, which is equally if no moreso brain-to-brain than it is dick-to-ass.

As others have mentioned, the warm up and foreplay are very important. It makes all the difference. Do not rush this part. Rimming does wonders to relax a bottom and prepare him for unbridled pleasure. Kissing, cuddling, oral, other erogenous zones play. Whatever tickles your fancy.

Solo play with small toys helps a lot, and you can never use too much lube during the main event with the real thing. Patience and experience go a long way. Selecting the right provider makes all the difference in this regard.

[misterhumphries]

11 hours ago, GCMan said:

Thanks - that’s a real fantasy - that position and scenario with a verbal top. Thanks everybody! I think I will start with the straddle - though I worry about being a bit timid. But I think with the right, patient, top it will work. 

Other than the best position , don't overthink it! Sex is chemical. It's not a recipe or a mathematic equation. Just take the right precautions, use LOTS of lube,  make your interests and boundaries clear THEN HAVE A BALL!

Edited July 25 by misterhumphries

[GCMan]

3 hours ago, Simon Suraci said:

I agree cowboy position (on top) is good for getting going, even for experienced bottoms. I prefer this myself when I bottom and need to ease in at first. However, the bottom needs to feel comfortable and confident in what he is doing. First timers often aren’t, which can lend itself to unnecessary anxiety, pressure, and uncertainty having to control all the action without really knowing what works best for himself yet. Everyone is different.

I enjoy popping a man’s cherry missionary style because I know what I’m doing and he doesn’t have to fret about anything. He doesn’t have to do anything, really. We pace ourselves according to his comfort, and take breaks when necessary. I respond to his body and verbal cues and take it from there. Being face to face helps build and sustain the connection, which is equally if no moreso brain-to-brain than it is dick-to-ass.

As others have mentioned, the warm up and foreplay are very important. It makes all the difference. Do not rush this part. Rimming does wonders to relax a bottom and prepare him for unbridled pleasure. Kissing, cuddling, oral, other erogenous zones play. Whatever tickles your fancy.

Solo play with small toys helps a lot, and you can never use too much lube during the main event with the real thing. Patience and experience go a long way. Selecting the right provider makes all the difference in this regard.

Great advice. Im very worried about high anxiety. I’m actually thinking about taking half a Xanax to take the edge off. 

[ReynST]

I'd say try the reverse-cowboy.

It has the benefits of both cowboy and doggy. ... Those benefits being controlling the depth and keeping the curve of the penis away from a tender prostate

[DWnyc]

Providers are used to this situation whether it’s real or roleplay so it’s a good place to start and might be better than with a regular meet if your partner doesn’t have the patience or, frankly, experience in helping a first timer. You can also try out a lot of positions in a way a “real” partner may find frustrating. 

Maybe seek recomendations on this forum based on your geography. 

Enjoy! 

[KevinFL]

On 7/24/2024 at 9:19 PM, Trick said:

From my experience, the doggie style is an easy starting position. I like missionary because I like seeing the top’s face, but many tops l’ve met like to start with the doggie.

Exactly my experience also with providers...

[Becket]

Nobody mentioned sideways? That was the only way I could do it for my first few months. Then it felt so good being able to turn a few degrees and look my partner deep in his eyes. That's still my favorite part. Me on my back and him on his knees in the bed. Closer and closer to my face touching his face. Finally getting lip locked as he goes deeper and closer. Whew! building up a sweat here!!! Be back in ten minutes!

1

[DamizzonNYC]

There's a school of thought where people think riding a cock is a great way to start.  And it does work for a lot of guys.  But honestly it's the relinquishing of control that gets you in the right mindset for bottoming.  And if you're hiring an intuitive skilled top, letting them work their magic is for sure the way to go.

Doggy style is great, but unless you're in great shape, that can be a stress position for a lot of guys.  I've had a lot of luck opening up nervous bottoms by laying them on their side.  That way they're super comfortable, more able to relax, and you still get access to working their cock as you do it. 

Also: manage your conceptual framework of success!  Goal oriented sex can feel unnecessarily high pressure.  Having your ass teased by a very hard cock can be pleasurable enough.  Taking just the tip can be super satisfying.  If you allow yourself to enjoy the process rather than fixating on some arbitrary goal, you'll most likely surprise yourself!