That Initial Impression

[ICTJOCK]

Was having a lunch conversation with a friend who knows I escort on the side .    A question came up about "first impression"   by the client  (and by me,  interestingly) and how "first impressions"  can affect the course of events with business.

My thought that "escorting"  is like any business.   You want to make a favorable impression initially by being on time,  clean,  appropriate attire and a respectful approach.     "Clean"  as an escort means  no drugs,  physically clean and a "clean"  choice of verbiage.     Actually not much different than any kind of business one partakes,  except that a good impression means "clean"  a little deeper  (so to speak).

What about from the viewpoint of a provider?    I see new and repeat clients and most are educated professionals.   Most treat me as I treat them,  but not always.    A client that is on drugs is a no go,  significant drinking isn't a good look.     Dirty hygiene isn't attractive.      Once in a while the booking can end at the door,   but I've found most clients  (especially those who hire)  are quite aware of their own need to make a great impression.               Thoughts?

[j r]

I try to go out of my way when booking via text to show that I am considerate of a provider’s time and respectful of boundaries. For me, it is usually about kissing more than sex. If there is a strict no kissing rule, I say thanks and move on. If they say it’s about chemistry, I say I understand and we should check in about it when we meet. It makes it a lot easier when meeting in person if we’ve texted about some things in advance. And of course I make sure to always show up freshly showered, brushed teeth, etc. 

[+ DrownedBoy]

I do the same as j r.

Also, I type in complete sentences, introduce myself, and give a link to my RM profile. It's a professional business transaction, and that's how it needs to be approached.

Yes - escorting is like a business. On the provider side, these initial impressions will make me stop: typing in fragments, not answering basic questions like rate, asking me questions that I already provided answers for. Worst are providers who do the above, while constantly saying meaningless things beginning with words like "c'mon baby" or "please, papi." Providers should act like professionals, not beggars.

[misterhumphries]

On 9/1/2024 at 9:19 AM, ICTJOCK said:

......What about from the viewpoint of a provider?    I see new and repeat clients and most are educated professionals.   Most treat me as I treat them,  but not always.    A client that is on drugs is a no go,  significant drinking isn't a good look.     Dirty hygiene isn't attractive.      Once in a while the booking can end at the door,   but I've found most clients  (especially those who hire)  are quite aware of their own need to make a great impression.               Thoughts?

I treat a hire session like any date in terms of hygiene (no cologne or I take care not to bathe in it) and personable behavior. Beyond that, for me, the pressure is off because I don't have the expectation that my hire  must find me sexually appealing -- merely presentable. It's a nice surprise and makes for a hotter session if there is mutual physical attraction, though.

[+ KensingtonHomo]

I mostly agree with you. In fact, if we're having an escort over, the Virgo in me insists on cleaning like we're having a dinner party. I'm sober and my husband only drinks socially, so that rarely comes up. Regarding our first impression of the provider, I think manners go a long way toward having that be positive. And hygiene should not be an issue. It's the summer in NYC, so offering a shower is always good if I show up sweaty or the provider does. I am personally susceptible to smell and do not like anything more than a hint of musk. So I avoid providers who talk about armpits or being "ripe" in their profiles. I don't have any issue with those who enjoy it, but I literally could not have sex with someone who smells. Same for excessive cologne. 

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

On 9/1/2024 at 7:19 AM, ICTJOCK said:

Was having a lunch conversation with a friend who knows I escort on the side .    A question came up about "first impression"   by the client  (and by me,  interestingly) and how "first impressions"  can affect the course of events with business.

My thought that "escorting"  is like any business.   You want to make a favorable impression initially by being on time,  clean,  appropriate attire and a respectful approach.     "Clean"  as an escort means  no drugs,  physically clean and a "clean"  choice of verbiage.     Actually not much different than any kind of business one partakes,  except that a good impression means "clean"  a little deeper  (so to speak).

What about from the viewpoint of a provider?    I see new and repeat clients and most are educated professionals.   Most treat me as I treat them,  but not always.    A client that is on drugs is a no go,  significant drinking isn't a good look.     Dirty hygiene isn't attractive.      Once in a while the booking can end at the door,   but I've found most clients  (especially those who hire)  are quite aware of their own need to make a great impression.               Thoughts?

It helps to have a routine, whether that's for a provider or for a hookup.  My routine includes: 

Douch

Lower room temperature

Brush teeth

Floss teeth

Mouthwash

Shower

Make bed 

Light scented candle in bedroom 

Have clean towel, lube, poppers, and toys next to the bed. 

The only difference:  for a hookup, I'll put on some Pandora "cardio" music.  For an escort, I let him control the music, if any.

Edited September 3 by Vegas_Millennial

[SometimesBi]

11 hours ago, KensingtonHomo said:

so offering a shower is always good if I show up sweaty or the provider does.

Wait... so if I hire a provider, and he shows up and needs a shower, the clock doesn't start yet, until he's ready, right?

(Naturally, if I chose to join him in the shower, the clock would start immediately. But this question is if I don't, and wait for him to be ready). 

[Danny-Darko]

2 hours ago, SometimesBi said:

Wait... so if I hire a provider, and he shows up and needs a shower, the clock doesn't start yet, until he's ready, right?

(Naturally, if I chose to join him in the shower, the clock would start immediately. But this question is if I don't, and wait for him to be ready). 

One would think so, but not really. They set the rules for the most part. I've found that guys in Montreal ALL seem to insist on bathing before AND after a session even though I have picked them up from the club and they are clean or clean enough for what I have planned. Guys in other countries may do this as well if they come from a bathing culture like Latin Americans who are all very clean always. One appreciates cleanliness, but with the Quebecois they are clearly milking the clock and shortening the time. Yes, showers are very quick, but...  I deal with it. What else can I do? Interesting fact is that men in British Columbia don't do that and sometimes one even has to insist that they shower and wash well beforehand! Most don't even wash after either! Cultural differences I suppose. 

Edited September 3 by Danny-Darko

[+ KensingtonHomo]

1 hour ago, SometimesBi said:

Wait... so if I hire a provider, and he shows up and needs a shower, the clock doesn't start yet, until he's ready, right?

(Naturally, if I chose to join him in the shower, the clock would start immediately. But this question is if I don't, and wait for him to be ready). 

In my experience, if it's a quick shower it doesn't matter. 

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

4 hours ago, Danny-Darko said:

I've found that guys in Montreal ALL seem to insist on bathing before AND after a session...

I have not found that to be the case at all.  NONE of my Montreal outcall hires asked to bathe before.  And only a FEW have asked to bathe afterwards. (Sample size about a dozen, including masseurs, escorts, and strippers directly from clubs)

Edited September 3 by Vegas_Millennial

[+ newatthis]

4 hours ago, Danny-Darko said:

even though I have picked them up from the club

 

4 minutes ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

I have not found that to be the case at all.  NONE of my Montreal outcall hires asked to bathe before.

My experience has been the same as @Vegas_Millennial's.  Maybe @Danny-Darko's differs because he picks them up from the club and they are all sweaty from dancing? (Although I've certainly done lots of club hires over the years and have not found showering to be a frequent request or necessity.  And on the few occasions where showering happens, I've never felt anyone was trying to shorten our interaction time.  Maybe that's because the guys I hire from the clubs are the ones I've established a good rapport with.  We feel comfortable with each other and showering,  amount of time spent, et. al. happen without the need for much discussion.)

[CuriousByNature]

8 hours ago, Danny-Darko said:

One would think so, but not really. They set the rules for the most part. I've found that guys in Montreal ALL seem to insist on bathing before AND after a session even though I have picked them up from the club and they are clean or clean enough for what I have planned. Guys in other countries may do this as well if they come from a bathing culture like Latin Americans who are all very clean always. One appreciates cleanliness, but with the Quebecois they are clearly milking the clock and shortening the time. Yes, showers are very quick, but...  I deal with it. What else can I do? Interesting fact is that men in British Columbia don't do that and sometimes one even has to insist that they shower and wash well beforehand! Most don't even wash after either! Cultural differences I suppose. 

I think it has to do with the cleanliness spectrum following the geographical lines of longitude, much like the orbit of the earth around the sun.  The further east in Canada you go, the cleaner you become.  When I lived in BC I showered only once a week - even less than that when I visited the west coast of Vancouver Island.  But showering became a daily thing when I moved to the Prairies.  Now in Ontario I normally bathe twice a day, while my friends in Newfoundland almost never leave their showers.  That might also help explain the very high unemployment rates in Atlantic Canada.  😆

Edited September 3 by CuriousByNature

[misterhumphries]

12 hours ago, KensingtonHomo said:

In my experience, if it's a quick shower it doesn't matter. 

He wouldn't be showering at my place. I do not run an annex of the YMCA. Presentation means he shows up on my doorstep looking decent, sober, and fresh. That's part of what I'm paying for.

[Danny-Darko]

17 hours ago, misterhumphries said:

He wouldn't be showering at my place. I do not run an annex of the YMCA. Presentation means he shows up on my doorstep looking decent, sober, and fresh. That's part of what I'm paying for.

I agree, but in my experience, it tends to happen when one is out of town and staying at a hotel and only in certain places. @CuriousByNature already has enlighten us to Canadian provincial bathing habits. I certainly appreciate the extra care with hygiene, it's just the quick shower before AND after on my time included in the hour. Dancers themselves have told me clubs do have shower at their disposal and not just for "shower shows". But It's been OK so far. The occasional invitation to join them in the shower has also turned out to be fun. 

Edited September 4 by Danny-Darko

[Jay DC]

It was 122 degrees when I was in Palm Springs recently.  When my provider left his hotel for my place he was freshly showered and thought he was good to go. His hotel was only two miles away but when he arrived, he was so sweaty and hot that he asked if he could rinse off. It wouldn’t have bothered me but it made him self conscious and he apologized. I told him not to worry and welcome to the desert. And if you’ve ridden the subway in nyc or dc in august, you might be asking for a shower too. It’s only a few minutes and if it makes someone feel a little more comfortable, what’s the harm? 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

On 9/3/2024 at 9:08 PM, misterhumphries said:

He wouldn't be showering at my place. I do not run an annex of the YMCA. Presentation means he shows up on my doorstep looking decent, sober, and fresh. That's part of what I'm paying for.

I've said elsewhere that I'm very sensitive to smell, so I'd rather they take 5 minutes to freshen up so the rest of the time is enjoyable. If you live in a hot place or its summer, someone can leave feeling all fresh and put together and show up sweaty and a mess. 

[Simon Suraci]

It’s 111* F at noon in San Diego today. Supposedly we have the best (or among the best) weather in the United States. Just walking outside for a few minutes has me drenched and irritable.

Be kind to your providers. If they are decent, they will not take forever and won’t take any time away from your session to shower before and/or after. I show the same courtesy to my incall massage clients. A lot of them are coming from, or going to, work in the same heat.