Upset by Upcharges?

[+ keroscenefire]

After a recent breakup (le sigh), I've been hiring a bit more. Recently I've noticed a trend where guys upcharge for specific things that I would have though would or could have been included with the session. These include wanting to charge extra for bottoming, cumming and even kissing!

Now I 100% respect limits and also understand that these are men not machines and expecting a cumsplosion each time is not reasonable. But is it unreasonable to think that $300 an hour includes things that are a normal part of gay sex? Again these aren't fetishes and I am contacting guys that say they are vers. But one guy specifically told me he only bottoms for $400 instead of $300. Another said he would kiss me if I tipped and another said that he could come with me for another $50.

I get that upcharging is common in many industries but with this one so heavily focused on fantasy, this sort of thing really makes me turned off. Anyone experiencing something similar? What are your opinions of escort upcharging? 

[BuffaloKyle]

I like to confirm with a provider during the appt setup texts everything that I am looking to get into. So as long as they mention it during that time a certain thing would cost extra then I can't complain. I only would get upset if during the actual session they suddenly say something will cost extra. Then that is not cool at all.

[blck37]

Echoing other poster, T&C ought to be agreed upfront, always - just like in any other businesses. Any miscom due to absence of such is a negligence on both parties. Client should always ask for confirmation.

That said, any provider tries to upcharge is guaranteed no further business from me. I prefer $$$ agreed upfront, all inclusive. If provider did 'extra' then I would happily tip.

[+ JamesB]

I always make sure to clearly communicate my preferences before a meeting, including what I like and dislike. For example, if I’m interested in something like kissing that isn't mentioned in the provider’s profile, I make a point to ask and confirm if it’s okay with them.

[MikeBiDude]

I like to use the phrase “session rate” which when discussed includes time, activities, etc. for a “session”.

[+ keroscenefire]

To be fair its a mixed bag. The bottom one was annoying because I specifically told him before that I am vers and wanted to flip and he said he was fine with that and then said he would only bottom for extra $$ once he showed up. The cumming one was a last minute thing on my end. You know of course in the moment I think it's hot when I guy cums but I also 100% cool if he's just like, I can't do that this time. It turned me off that he tried to do it as an upcharge.

The kissing one really through me off because it says kissing in his profile, I said I like to kiss and he was like oh I can do that for extra tips. That really turned me off. Kissing is a really important to me and I think it's a very typical part of sex/foreplay. So yeah that one was pretty annoying IMO.

Edited September 1 by keroscenefire

[Danny-Darko]

I always make as clear as possible what I'm looking for and if they can accommodate for the agreed price. If I get up-charged, I don't see them again, no matter how much I liked them. I don't appreciate getting swindled and when they lose clients, they'll hopefully learn a valuable lesson in business ethics. I've had several come to me for repeated sessions and I clearly state why I'm not interested based on the previous experience. No whining, promises, or begging will get me to try again with the same person. When getting burned, we should learn our lesson the first time! There are plenty of nice men out there who provide what we are looking for and I'm not despearte either. Many of these younger less worldly "escorts" need to realize that just because we may be older and hire, doesn't mean we are pathetic or desperate. They need our money far more that we need their services! 

[soloyo215]

5 hours ago, keroscenefire said:

After a recent breakup (le sigh), I've been hiring a bit more. Recently I've noticed a trend where guys upcharge for specific things that I would have though would or could have been included with the session. These include wanting to charge extra for bottoming, cumming and even kissing!

Now I 100% respect limits and also understand that these are men not machines and expecting a cumsplosion each time is not reasonable. But is it unreasonable to think that $300 an hour includes things that are a normal part of gay sex? Again these aren't fetishes and I am contacting guys that say they are vers. But one guy specifically told me he only bottoms for $400 instead of $300. Another said he would kiss me if I tipped and another said that he could come with me for another $50.

I get that upcharging is common in many industries but with this one so heavily focused on fantasy, this sort of thing really makes me turned off. Anyone experiencing something similar? What are your opinions of escort upcharging? 

Fire him. You're right.

[Moke]

How much extra was the blow job?  The ass-cupping on arrival?  The hug goodbye?  

[MscleLovr]

I enjoy a la carte pricing in restaurants, not on a date.

When I hired, I was always explicit about my expectations and what I enjoyed. I simply asked ‘I want to make sure we’re compatible. Are you OK with all that?’

I was only ever ‘hustled’ once during a date. He was very attractive physically and after he’d bottomed for me, he was sucking me off. He stopped to say ‘I don’t usually swallow, but you’re a great top. Is an extra 50 OK?’ It spoilt the atmosphere a little, but to get back in the mood, I said ‘For that you have to swallow my load and lick my cock clean afterwards’. To be fair, he did and it was hot, and I didn’t regret paying the extra 50. 

[DWnyc]

 

I think some clients get a little coy about asking for something beforehand or even in the moment given the nature of the service. Good providers help clients through this. The bad ones can take an opportunity to avoid providing a service worthy of the donation received, or go down the upcharge path.

I recall a text exchange with a provider years ago when I realized many were starting to bareback as the default. I asked him to confirm he was ok using condoms. His reply was something like: “yes but it’s $50 extra to go raw”. I was confused and repeated the question to avoid misunderstanding. His reply: “sorry honey that was a typo - it’s $50 extra for safe” … 

 

[DWnyc]

26 minutes ago, MscleLovr said:

 

He stopped to say ‘I don’t usually swallow, but you’re a great top. Is an extra 50 OK?’ It spoilt the atmosphere a little, but to get back in the mood, I said ‘For that you have to swallow my load and lick my cock clean afterwards’. 

Good bargaining by both parties despite being in the heat of the moment! He spotted an opportunity.

Always helps to remember this is ultimately a transaction and as client you are the boss once terms agreed - puts a strain on the moment as you say but ultimately you are responsible for getting the what you want out of the deal. 

 

 

 

 

[Jamie21]

16 hours ago, keroscenefire said:

To be fair its a mixed bag. The bottom one was annoying because I specifically told him before that I am vers and wanted to flip and he said he was fine with that and then said he would only bottom for extra $$ once he showed up. The cumming one was a last minute thing on my end. You know of course in the moment I think it's hot when I guy cums but I also 100% cool if he's just like, I can't do that this time. It turned me off that he tried to do it as an upcharge.

The kissing one really through me off because it says kissing in his profile, I said I like to kiss and he was like oh I can do that for extra tips. That really turned me off. Kissing is a really important to me and I think it's a very typical part of sex/foreplay. So yeah that one was pretty annoying IMO.

Key to this is that if the guy says he will definitely do something in the session and it’s part of his quoted rate then he should honour that in the session. No good to say you’ll kiss and then decline to do so or only do it for extra cost. That’s poor form. I do think that kissing shouldn’t be an extra cost thing but that’s just my personal preference. I agree with @keroscenefirethat kissing is kind of an essential. But of course for some it’s too intimate and might even be considered too ‘gay’ if someone is exploring their sexuality. 

If I’m asked will I cum in the clients mouth I’ll say it’s possible but not definite because I can’t be sure to do that (much as I’d like to cum on demand it’s not always possible especially if I’ve seen a few clients). However kissing is something that is possible and I’m always good to do that subject to the client’s oral hygiene. There’s two sides to this issue: if you want to be kissed make sure you brushed and used mouthwash. Similarly if you want to be rimmed make sure you’ve showered. If you want to cum in my mouth make sure you’ve been eating pineapple (well….maybe not that far but please don’t have eaten asparagus thank you)😂
 

[+ DrownedBoy]

If a provider agrees to do something (like kiss) and then refuses to, post their names in the Deli and send your texts to RM.

[misterhumphries]

23 hours ago, keroscenefire said:

.....But one guy specifically told me he only bottoms for $400 instead of $300. Another said he would kiss me if I tipped and another said that he could come with me for another $50.

I get that upcharging is common in many industries but with this one so heavily focused on fantasy, this sort of thing really makes me turned off. Anyone experiencing something similar? What are your opinions of escort upcharging? 

I'm dead set against upcharging. If I'm paying several hundred an hour, that's that! I tell the escort what I want before I even book so there is no confusion. Overall, I hate haggling about any consumer good or service that I buy. It's why ebay auctions drive me nuts!

[misterhumphries]

7 hours ago, DWnyc said:

 

I think some clients get a little coy about asking for something beforehand or even in the moment given the nature of the service. Good providers help clients through this. The bad ones can take an opportunity to avoid providing a service worthy of the donation received, or go down the upcharge path.

I recall a text exchange with a provider years ago when I realized many were starting to bareback as the default. I asked him to confirm he was ok using condoms. His reply was something like: “yes but it’s $50 extra to go raw”. I was confused and repeated the question to avoid misunderstanding. His reply: “sorry honey that was a typo - it’s $50 extra for safe” … 

 

$50 to take the precaution to AVOID contracting an STD? Now I've read it all.

[+ keroscenefire]

2 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

But of course for some it’s too intimate and might even be considered too ‘gay’ if someone is exploring their sexuality. 

 

I think there might be an element of this. I've been hiring some Venezuelans/Colombians and I suspect they may be straight/bi and escorting just because its one of the few ways they can make money as immigrants. A lot of them have "bisexual" in their profile and maybe some of this is just how can I make as much money from this guy as possible. Although the top/bottom guy was American so this isn't completely an immigrant thing. 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

7 hours ago, misterhumphries said:

$50 to take the precaution to AVOID contracting an STD? Now I've read it all.

That's what I thought. I do understand that a lot of tops prefer raw sex (many think it feels better) but as a bottom I can barely tell the difference. So the idea of upcharging for someone who wants to avoid possibly getting or transmitting an STI is just whack. 

[Simon Suraci]

On 9/2/2024 at 8:49 AM, misterhumphries said:

$50 to take the precaution to AVOID contracting an STD? Now I've read it all.

In this case, it’s a ‘level of effort’ issue, not a risk tolerance issue. It’s more difficult for many providers to get and stay hard using a latex sheath dulling whatever sensation that may have otherwise helped them perform. Maybe your guy can do it, maybe he can’t.

I disagree with charging differently for bb/safe (either one), especially after the appointment starts. It’s an unfair bait-and-switch tactic. Anal sex is a fundamental level of service for an escort session, be it with or without condoms.

[misterhumphries]

1 hour ago, Simon Suraci said:

In this case, it’s a ‘level of effort’ issue, not a risk tolerance issue. It’s more difficult for many providers to get and stay hard using a latex sheath dulling whatever sensation that may have otherwise helped them perform. Maybe your guy can do it, maybe he can’t.

I disagree with charging differently for bb/safe (either one), especially after the appointment starts. It’s an unfair bait-and-switch tactic. Anal sex is a fundamental level of service for an escort session, be it with or without condoms.

You're splitting hairs. Sex with strangers is ALWAYS a risk tolerance issue.  My main issue remains the idiocy of an escort  asking for a $50.00 premium to wear a condom. I will never understand that.

[pubic_assistance]

On 9/1/2024 at 12:20 PM, keroscenefire said:

But is it unreasonable to think that $300 an hour includes things that are a normal part of gay sex?

It's like buying a car. You get all the basics for the price on the windshield, but if you want the deluxe package it will cost you more. Escorting is a business. Which means if you can charge more, you will.

[+ keroscenefire]

11 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

It's like buying a car. You get all the basics for the price on the windshield, but if you want the deluxe package it will cost you more. Escorting is a business. Which means if you can charge more, you will.

But this upcharging is a big turnoff for me (and I think many others) so yes they may get more money the first time but I will likley never hire them again and they lost money in the long-term. I'm used to $300 an hour being the standard now even though not long ago that was on the high end. If I feel that I get a great experience for that $300 an hour, I absolutely will hire them multiple times and be encouraged to hire them for longer, pricier sessions.

So unfortunately with some of these guys, it's a short-term gain but a long-term loss. Maybe they are okay with that but there's a lot of competition out there and this kind of upcharging doesn't make you stand out in a good way.

[Muscleking]

Generally most escorts have different prices for different things, the key is to always be upfront about what you want and your expectations so that there is no misunderstanding.. but expecting for everything that would be considered “normal sex” to be included in the base price just isn’t the case. It should be a given that if you expect cum, the escort will likely charge extra for that as most guys probably can only cum once or twice a day, so cumming may limit their ability to work with other clients thus limiting how much money they can potentially make.. 

when it comes to kissing, that is a personal preference and more of like a boyfriend experience which in my opinion should happen naturally or be agreed upon before the appointment if you expect it, because let’s face it I’m sure if someone arrived with bad breath or bad hygiene the last thing the escort will want to do is kiss them. 
 

and bottoming also would require more work on the escorts side like cleaning and prepping etc So i can imagine them wanting to charge extra for that also especially if they’re listed as vers.. I’d suggest if u know you want to top maybe look for a guy who is listed as only bottom because then it’s a given that his price reflects that as a bottom . 

so all and all just be upfront about what you want and your expectations. 

[Jay DC]

I also try to be very clear about my expectations upfront, in fact I include what I'm looking for in my first message—not in a vulgar, hyper-sexulized way.  But I'm very clear about what I'm looking for, where and when and I include my brief stats.  All in the first message. If they respond positively, I ask their rate and I either accept it or move on—i don't haggle price and don't usually book if they come back with a lower rate—sets the wrong tone for me and I don't want them to feel they are spending time with a cheapskate. This is where I have occasionally gotten someone who says that the rate is a session rate and not an hourly fee and that sessions can last a couple of hours. I have booked that kind of appointment. I try to get everything booked in three texts or less with an additional confirmation text the afternoon of the scheduled appointment.I only top and I’ve had a few providers decline an appointment because they aren’t feeling the bottom role. I also don’t party and used to never hire anyone who had pnp in thier ad. I’ve loosened up a bit and have hired a few who do list pnp. I’m clear that I don’t and don’t want anyone using drugs or smoking around me(even though I use cialis). And I’ve had a few decline an appointment because they are doing the party thing and don’t want to chill with a buzzkill like me. I appreciate the honesty and professionalism of those who declined. In a couple of cases, a potential provider has quoted a price and then increased the quote after rereading my message (i.e., to bareback bottom is an additional cost, etc.), but these have been part of the initial conversation. Better than trying to piecemeal an appointment. I never have had someone try to upcharge during the appointment. I get yelled every time I say this but I also pay upfront—every time—especially if I am doing some form of electronic payment. I even include a modest tip that I may increase after the appointment. I'm always concerned I'm going to mess up the technology or miscount the cash and don't want to be “that client”.   I've never had an issue or been cheated by paying upfront. If I ever get burned, I may change my paying upfront practice but until then it works for me and I like that it's not hanging over our heads. My point about paying upfront is that it may shut down any talk of “extra fees” or add-ons during the session. I have had providers warn me that we are getting close to our booked amount of time and ask if I would like another hour.  But they should do that and I have no issue with that and if I'm having a good time, I usually stop for a minute and pay that time upfront also. If I'm not having a great time, I say “I wish I could but I can't tonight” with no further explanation. And I make sure we finish in the original time we booked. I don't usually care if the provider cums or not but if it is something I am looking for in that particular session, I spell it out in my initial message. I've never had someone ask for more $ to finish and I would decline because I usually don't care. And there have been a few times when I have requested it and they couldn't get there.  It happens and I'd never ask for money back or expect a discount. In fact, one of the biggest tips I ever gave was to a gentlemen who tried and tried, he pummeled himself until he got a hand cramp-he was working with super-sized meat. I told him it was okay but he tried for a bit longer and even though he never got there, he worked hard and genuinely tried. A+ for effort. I suppose if someone bailed on the majority of my expectations, I would feel cheated and be sorry that I already paid them, but I'll cross that bridge if I ever get there. I feel I have occasionally overpaid, but I've also ended up with great times that felt like a bargain-it evens out. Most of my pals who feel cheated or massively disappointed with certain providers can often trace their disappointment to their inability to ask for what they want upfront. Just because their ad says they do “xyz” doesn't guarantee it. Confirm it up front. They may do it but aren't that night because they have a sunburn, sore back or any number of legitimate issues. And I know there are providers who overcommit and underperform, can't get hard, ask for more money, seem shifty, drugged out or just don't seem to have a good time and spoil your investment. That's part of the dance. Unless there is intentional deception, crime or violence that should be felt with, chalk it up to a learning experience. There are a lot more awesome providers than there are duds. 

Another way too long post that could be summed up quickly by just saying that the client needs to be very clear upfront, agree on the rate (and don't budge) and have a good time. Even if it doesn't meet your full expectation, you got to hang out with a hot naked dude. 

[56harrisond]

1 minute ago, Jay DC said:

I try to get everything booked in three texts or less with an additional confirmation text the afternoon of the scheduled appointment.

Another way too long post that could be summed up quickly by just saying that the client needs to be very clear upfront, agree on the rate (and don't budge) and have a good time. Even if it doesn't meet your full expectation, you got to hang out with a hot naked dude. 

This 100%