talking about payment

[badger]

I've been seeing a really great guy fairly regularly, and I'd like to ask him to make videos for me. The problem is, I am not sure how to talk about payment. I know that I should of course pay for somethinng extra like that, but I don't know how to handle that. I know I am probably overthinking this, as he's a very chill guy and I know it's unlikely that I'll offend him or whatever, but talking about the money stuff feels very awkward to me. There;s other things than videos that I'd like to ask about also, which I would obviously not expect as free bonuses, but this seemed like the easiest example.

I have posted about similar issues here before. I have some difficulties with social interactions and communication (some have suggested that it's a bit of autism, or even asbergers,) and I have found it extremely helpful to come here and ask for advice. Yall have been very helpful to me so far!

[+ JamesB]

I highly doubt there’s anything you could ask a provider that they haven’t heard before. Just ask directly if videos or whatever else you’re interested in is something they offer. Be upfront and clear about what you want. If they say yes, simply ask for the rate. Keeping it straightforward and simple has always worked for me.

[NYXboy]

Just ask. 

[Jamie21]

“Hi, I’d really love it if you were ok to do a short video of our session, just for me so that I can view it between our meetings. Is that something you’d be ok with and if so how much would it be?” Something like that.

I get asked for ‘extras’ occasionally and it’s almost always a painful experience because the client is reticent about asking. They drop hints, or talk around it…and it’s frustrating! Just ask it straight, be polite but be clear about what you want. Your provider will 100% not be offended or upset. They’ll appreciate you being direct. 

[ApexNomad]

59 minutes ago, Jamie21 said:

“Hi, I’d really love it if you were ok to do a short video of our session, just for me so that I can view it between our meetings. Is that something you’d be ok with and if so how much would it be?” Something like that.

I get asked for ‘extras’ occasionally and it’s almost always a painful experience because the client is reticent about asking. They drop hints, or talk around it…and it’s frustrating! Just ask it straight, be polite but be clear about what you want. Your provider will 100% not be offended or upset. They’ll appreciate you being direct. 

That’s a great suggestion and a helpful example of what to say. I understand it might be frustrating for you, but keep in mind, this is your business; it’s your job. For some, especially the person who started this thread, social interactions and communication can be more challenging. What comes easy for some may not be so easy for others.

[Jamie21]

10 minutes ago, ApexNomad said:

That’s a great suggestion and a helpful example of what to say. I understand it might be frustrating for you, but keep in mind, this is your business; it’s your job. For some, especially the person who started this thread, social interactions and communication can be more challenging. What comes easy for some may not be so easy for others.

Yes, I agree. But he asked the question so I gave my opinion. Now he knows what to say and more importantly how it’s likely to be received. I know where he’s coming from because I get anxious about social interaction too. 

[+ DrownedBoy]

Ask first. Some providers will do videos or photos for free.

However, I don't take porn-level photos, so that might cost.

[+ Pensant]

 I often take pics or videos of my providers, but strictly for private use. They love to show off. Some have used my pics in their ads.

[badger]

On 10/18/2024 at 2:25 PM, Jamie21 said:

“Hi, I’d really love it if you were ok to do a short video of our session, just for me so that I can view it between our meetings. Is that something you’d be ok with and if so how much would it be?” Something like that.

I get asked for ‘extras’ occasionally and it’s almost always a painful experience because the client is reticent about asking. They drop hints, or talk around it…and it’s frustrating! Just ask it straight, be polite but be clear about what you want. Your provider will 100% not be offended or upset. They’ll appreciate you being direct. 

This is great advice but I guess I should have been more clear that I'm specifically talking about how to talk about money/payment. Like I am just unclear if it's ok to just say "of course I understand this will cost more" or "I'm obviously happy to pay for.." or things like that. I'm trying to remember how exactly we talked about it in the beginning but I don't recall. If I remembered, I would just try to use that same language.

[BuffaloKyle]

12 minutes ago, badger said:

This is great advice but I guess I should have been more clear that I'm specifically talking about how to talk about money/payment. Like I am just unclear if it's ok to just say "of course I understand this will cost more" or "I'm obviously happy to pay for.." or things like that. I'm trying to remember how exactly we talked about it in the beginning but I don't recall. If I remembered, I would just try to use that same language.

It feels like it's best to ask by text if you are nervous or a little uneasy about asking in person. Just text them hey would you be down for making me a custom video(s). Since you've already a regular client it really shouldn't be a difficult transaction. I would think he'll ask what exactly you wanna see and once you reply that he would tell you a cost without you even asking. If not if he agrees to everything you want then you just say hey awesome how much then would you like in return for the video(s).

[+ KensingtonHomo]

11 hours ago, BuffaloKyle said:

It feels like it's best to ask by text if you are nervous or a little uneasy about asking in person. Just text them hey would you be down for making me a custom video(s). Since you've already a regular client it really shouldn't be a difficult transaction. I would think he'll ask what exactly you wanna see and once you reply that he would tell you a cost without you even asking. If not if he agrees to everything you want then you just say hey awesome how much then would you like in return for the video(s).

I agree with all this. You're overthinking this, probably because you have a good time with this provider and are afraid to make it awkward. I've become friendly with some providers I see - we chat on Instagram (not like sexting, just discussing shared interests), and if you have a connection with someone, you're not going to offend them by asking for something they probably get all the time. 

I saw a provider this past week and, unprompted, he asked if I'd like to record some of our time together. He did it on my phone and didn't charge extra. Now he has a super successful OnlyFans. I'd have let him use it if I was more confident and had less of a public job.  

[+ 7829V]

On 10/18/2024 at 5:55 AM, badger said:

I've been seeing a really great guy fairly regularly, and I'd like to ask him to make videos for me. The problem is, I am not sure how to talk about payment. I know that I should of course pay for somethinng extra like that, but I don't know how to handle that. I know I am probably overthinking this, as he's a very chill guy and I know it's unlikely that I'll offend him or whatever, but talking about the money stuff feels very awkward to me. There;s other things than videos that I'd like to ask about also, which I would obviously not expect as free bonuses, but this seemed like the easiest example.

I have posted about similar issues here before. I have some difficulties with social interactions and communication (some have suggested that it's a bit of autism, or even asbergers,) and I have found it extremely helpful to come here and ask for advice. Yall have been very helpful to me so far!

You should use chat gpt for this. It will help you a lot.  

I asked and this was the reply. 
 

“First, it’s great that you’re thinking about being fair and upfront. To make the conversation feel natural, you can try starting by expressing appreciation for his time and effort. You could say something like, ‘Hey, I’ve really enjoyed spending time with you, and I was wondering if I could ask you for a favor. I’d like to ask if you’d be willing to make some videos for me, and of course, I’d love to compensate you for your time and effort. Let me know what you think!’

This way, you’re being clear and respectful, and you’re letting him decide how to approach the payment part. Since you mentioned he’s a chill guy, it’s likely he won’t be offended, and by being straightforward, you’re avoiding any potential miscommunication.

As for the other things you’d like to ask about, you can use a similar approach—just be open, appreciative, and clear that you value his time and are willing to pay for extra requests.”To