Friends with Escorts

[ericmagyar]

Hi,

 

I am an escort who makes friends with many of my clients. I always make sure that they understand that I don't have much time to correspond with them, but I believe that building friendships can only enrich escort experiences. Thus, several clients of mine and I can draw the line between friendship and work and also intermingle that line. I still get paid for my job and we share a great deal in commons...It's the cool way of doing business.

 

Cheers,

 

Eric Magyar

[Guest DVS]

>Hi,

>

>I am an escort who makes

>friends with many of my

>clients. I always make

>sure that they understand that

>I don't have much time

>to correspond with them, but

>I believe that building friendships

>can only enrich escort experiences.

> Thus, several clients of

>mine and I can draw

>the line between friendship and

>work and also intermingle that

>line. I still get

>paid for my job and

>we share a great deal

>in commons...It's the cool way

>of doing business.

>

>Cheers,

>

>Eric Magyar

 

 

 

Eric my question to you is how was the friendship reached? Did you give them your home phone number? Maybe if the case your real name? Do you talk about your day, or maybe clients with this person good or bad? What I really mean is do you share all the commonality as you would with a friend from school?

 

I am very familiar with who you are. I have followed your reviews and post here for quite sometime. I respect your post but it still leaves the fundamental basic question open, How would one pursue building this relationship? Were you asked by the client to do things together or did you take the 1st step?

 

If I were a client of yours how would I become friends with you? I know this is a great deal of questions but your opinion counts here since you are in the profession and have probably seen some of the best and worse case scenarios. If you were going to be approached how would you want it to be? Just how do you know what is appropriate and what is over kill?

[Guest jizzdepapi]

coming out of the thinker's closet

 

hmmm. a little light dawned when i read eric's post. maybe there are business, friendship and maybe FRIENDLY business.

 

eric describes realtionships which include both escorting and socializing and asks "isn't this the cool way to do business?" as several posts on an earlier thread described, that's what i'm enjoying with several of my papis. if the dates were to end tomorrow, i don't know what would happen with the friendhships(i'm skeptical they would continue) but, at this point, i don't worry about it and don't need the need to define the friendships intellectually. i just enjoy being with these guys in a natural, non-stressed, non-paid environment, no matter who initiates the contact.

 

DVS, u have many questions and seem to have a lot invested in the nature of ur relationship with one escort. maybe, you're not looking for friendship (which usually develops very naturally) at all but have a romantic interest in this escort. just a thought...

 

jizz

[Guest ChicagoCorey]

>I was reading my earlier post when I

>got to the following:

>

>for me that is reserved for

>the best of friends which

>is a very exclusive club

>(not by design, just the

>way it works out).

>

>I thought ‘what an asshole’ this

>guy is :-(...

 

Actually I found those words kind of comforting. I've always had a few close friends but rarely anyone on the "acquaintance" level. This can be kind of lonely until, if you're like me, you realize that you're more of "a loner" and are completely happy being by yourself or with those who truly matter. Sometimes it sucks -- without acquaintance, who do you hang out with when those you truly care about piss you off -- but by keeping it small, I can give all my energy to those I care about most and take care of them.

 

I worry that my awkwardness with "new friends" often comes across to new people as "standoffish" or much worse words, and this has definitely given me a complex. I was actually glad to hear you talk about being "exclusive" with giving out your friendship; it made me feel not so much like a dickhead.

 

-------

chicagocorey@yahoo.com

new site and pictures

http://www.geocities.com/chicagocorey

[Damascene]

RE: coming out of the thinker's closet

 

I don't think of escorts as friends. It is at most

an enjoyable business relationship or acquaintance. Are there

escorts I would enjoy knowing more? Yes, but I won't push there.

Escorts (especially good ones) must get more than their share

of users, infatuations and stalkers. I would not like to have

to decide if the person who wants to be a client and friend

will develop into one of these three or not.

 

I recognize the fact that my relationship with an escort is

based on my money and their charms (whether it is in body,

personality, skill or all three). Would it last the money or

their charms lessen. I think not for me. For others it may.

[Losgatan]

RE: coming out of the thinker's closet

 

Jizz,

 

I think you're on to something. For a while now, I've been thinking that there are two broad classes of clients on this board -- mostly younger ones who hire primarily for sexual gratification, and mostly older ones (like me) who hire primarily for companionship.

 

Those of us in the latter category deliberately seek out escorts who are open, fun to be with, willing to share at least a part of their lives. Although it's definitely paid companionship, the escort and client get to know a lot about each other over time and there a good chance that a genuine friendship will develop based on shared experiences and accumulated trust. I guess that's what you called "Friendly Business."

 

I also think that many clients who hire primarily for sexual gratification really don't want to connect with their escorts on an emotional or intellectual level. Maybe there's an underlying fear that unwanted entanglements will develop. Maybe their needs for companionship are fulfilled by other relationships.

 

In short, I think we all can get what we are looking for -- be it hot sex or a fun time. And it's great that there many escorts who can satisfy both kinds of customers.

[Bilbo]

LOL

What I really meant, Miami, was more over in the reviews. Picking out the bad apples, occaisionally, whose ethics can be bent enough to force even our usually rather forgiving reviewers into posting iffy to bad reviews. But if it will help, here I see you finger wagging and add

 

Tut, Tut!

[Bilbo]

RE: coming out of the thinker's closet

 

Somebody, and I'm sorry but I'm not going to dig through all the postings here to give fair credit, but I think it was the original poster asked about us all being friends here on these threads. I, too, am a bit of a loan wolf, I have very few very close friends and in fact that was one reason why I became an escort lo these many years ago. I was not good at keeping in touch with those that I should have. I certainly do that here! I was not good at the kind of small talk that could help me pick up guys. Your call here, but I think I'm getting better. I now have a lot of acquaintances, not so much from escorting now that I've been basically out of it for a year and a half, but from my community social/beneficial organiztions that I belong to. Like this one. Usually, when I have a face to go with a name, I unfortunately remember the name and forget the face. Here? Just how many faces do I know? But I have a family of friends here that I am much better at remembering their faces and just what I can expect them to think about things. (I am noticeably better here about that, too, but don't think I am completely oblivious to that in person, just not as good.) So, yes, we are all friends, even the grumpy ones, and even when I am grumpy like today when I seem to have sprained one of my toes.

 

And if you want to see my face so you can forget my name, you can always go to my site. My webmaster is still to busy to make the improvements. But he has shown me how to change some of the wordings myself.

http://www.rainbowprod.com/bilbo

[Guest Tampa Yankee]

Corey,

 

Seems as though we are cut from similar cloth... I identify completely with your sentiments. Although there must be others, I've never met one that I know of since it is an unlikely topic for discussion. It's nice to meet another.

[ericmagyar]

Hi there,

 

In response to your inquiry, it happens in different ways for me. I don't think there can be a set pattern. I'll give you a few examples. But first, let me explain that as an escort, I am always honest except when it comes to my true identity. The way I look at it is that one should be as honest as possible without revealing his true identity. With this in mind, I had one client who was kind and a nice guy to speak with. We had some similar interests. He needed a houseboy, so I arranged for my best friend from Europe to come over and be his houseboy. That allowed me to build a closer relationship with him because of my best friend, although the sex stopped.

 

Another situation would involve a guy who hired me a number of times and worked with me on my other businesses. He had the knowledge to do so, and we brokered a friendship that way. I was able to help him in other ways too.

 

Again, there is no set pattern. In the first case, a friend of mine was helped. In the second case, the guy had hired me a lot and a friendship was brokered. I think it is the number of times you see a person, and what you do. It was not just a sexual thing. Guys who expect to build a friendship based on sex are very much mistaken. These were overnight calls for me which allowed me to meet them several times and really get to know them. Of course, each escort is different.

 

Yours,

 

Eric

 

I hope that helps a bit...

[Guest skywalker]

>But first, let me explain that as an escort, I am always honest except when it comes to my true identity. The way I look at it is that one should be as honest as possible without revealing his true identity.>

 

The notion that escorts can be completely unwilling to divulge their real name is bothersome to me.

 

I realize that in an unusual case doing so could place the escort in some sort of jeopardy or risk. But I also think being willing to tell your client your real name helps to foster trust and can enrich the experience for both the client and the escort.

 

I'm new to this scene and thus far have only acquired the services of one gentleman (one of the top guys on this site), and that was for three nights. He was very willing to come forward with his real identity; it was never an issue or a problem. I had to book his airline tickets, etc.

 

Next week I've hired another gentleman to be with me for five nights, and this individual has not been willing to come forward with his full name thus far. And that, despite the two of us being in contact for months. Moreover I've shared with him my credit card numbers and home address so that he could purchase and send me my plane tickets (he's a travel agent also).

 

If I'm going to be with an escort for a period of a few days I sure would like to know the full name of the person I am showing a good time too! I think you can understand this.

 

skywalker

[+ deej]

>The notion that escorts can be

>completely unwilling to divulge their

>real name is bothersome to

>me.

 

It is, of course, your right to get bothered by this. But it is also the escort's right to hold private the part that satisfies their own comfort level.

 

Some of the guys (particularly the porn star escorts) have spent a LOT of time and effort building a public image, name, whatever as their alter-ego and prefer to be known as "that" person. I respect that wish.

 

Other times, disclosure is necessary such as your example of purchasing airline tickets.

 

It's going to vary from situation to situation, comfort level, and many other things. I was recently surprised to find out that a guy I've been seeing somewhat regularly for five years has been using his real name all along! :o

 

Don't be bothered. Just take it as part of the game.

[Barry]

I have to agree with Deej. I personally have really no interest in an escorts real name. I mostly hire for overnights and usually ask the guy what name they would like me to address them by. Many (not all) have given me their real first names but I have only learned their last names if I was purchasing plane tickets or looked at the mailbox if seeing them for an incall.

 

Escorts are bound (or should be) by a very strong code of discretion regarding a client's personal information. We as clients are not. We discuss the guys openly here and often amongst ourselves privately. I can certainly respect the wishes of an escort regarding his personal info. Who knows where it could be disclosed or who might learn something that the guy doesn't want them to know.

[+ deej]

> usually ask the guy what name they would like me to address

> them by.

 

That's probably the best way of all. As my mama always told me "It may be spelled Will but if he pronounces it Gary then so should you." ;-)

[Guest Tampa Yankee]

Barry,

 

I also agree pretty much with you and deej,

 

>Escorts are bound (or should be)

>by a very strong code

>of discretion regarding a client's

>personal information.

 

agreed, but...

 

We as

>clients are not. We

>discuss the guys openly here

>and often amongst ourselves privately.

 

If this latter point is generally subscribed to then it should not be. We as clients expect discretion and we should be willing to practice it. If he feels comfortable enough with me to give me PRIVATE information or if I need to know as part of the arrangement then I feel bound to keep that confidence. Otherwise his confidence or business judgment has been misplaced IMHO. It stands to reason that if he didn't care about having that info generally available in the client community then he wouldn't be holding it close.

[Barry]

TY,

 

Thanx for catching me on that. I need to proof my posts more slowly and carefully.

 

I am TOTALLY in agreement with you. I didn't mean to say that we as clients aren't bound to discretion regarding PRIVATE info. I was thinking along the line of personal info directly related to what an escort does and how he does it. I was thinking this was public but personal.

 

Private information from anyone, be they escort, business associate, friend or family should always remain just that....private.

 

I think some clients may not agree but courtesy and ethics should bind them in that regard.

 

My apologies for not being clear.

[Guest jizzdepapi]

credit card numbers? omigod. this guy's name isn't anthony holloway and he isn't in the boston/cape cod area is he?

 

seriously, i would never divulge my credit card numbers to an escort. why? travel agent or not, he won't get u any better deal than u could find elsewhere. real name, yes, and address if necessary but nothing more.

 

i'm stunned. that's all.

 

jizz

[Guest alanm]

I am not new to the scene. Therefore, I am shocked that an escort with a great reputation, such as Eric, does not reveal his true identity to any of his clients. Especially, Since Eric talked about becoming friends with many of his clients on a

previous posting. I have been hiring the same escort for nearly two years and know far, far more about him than his true identity, yet I still consider the relationship a business

friendship. Eric, could you respond? Perhaps I misunderstood.

[Guest DVS]

I agree you have to know their true identity or it is still a facade. I don't believe this has to be disclosed immediately but under my definition of friendship honesty is paramount. If you were not interested in anything other than a business relationship than of course this has no bearing.

 

Not to be superficial I don't think an escort's identity would just flow out but I think once you are at the true friendship (confidant)level then your true identity is unimportant to both sides and should be known on both sides. I would especially want to know who I am giving my credit card numbers too and other personal information. There will be inherent risk but is that what we are talking about with the whole trust friendship thing.

 

Many escorts know who their clients are since they require this information especially when they are meeting at a hotel. A lot of times escorts even require you to contact them without blocking your number or they will not respond.

 

Escorts are open to the dangers of being with a client who has some screws missing, but the client too has the risk of a extorting escort when they lead a public life. I personally know a lot of people here would not want their careers decimated. I know this is all extreme and mainly a what if scenario but I bet it has happened since there have been replys indicating that the friendship was strictly pointed toward the pocket book.

 

I am not saying that any of these things will happen but we cannot ignore them. A friend is someone you trust, have a good time with, and share thoughts on different things with. I believe honesty, loyalty, and trust are the basic ingredients how you start the recipe and what the end result is comes from how skilled the chef and how good the ingredients!

 

Well, thats my thought for the day.

[Guest MrMan]

I've used my real name for the last 9yrs. of my 10yrs. as an

escort. My first year as an escort I worked for an agency and

they advised me to use a fake name. Well, that lasted about a

year, because for me it was weird. I'm a very honest and open

person and I've chosen to share my sexual preference and my

profession with all my friends and my immediate family.

 

For me it's a matter of pride, I know who I am and I don't want

to hide behind a facade of any kind. Many escorts aren't nearly

as open. They don't want to deal with the repercussions of

sharing their profession because of the stigma attached to it.

In so doing, they help perpetuate the stigma. It should also be

said that if all the closeted/married men that we escorts see

were to come out, what a positive effect it would have towards

people's attitudes regarding homosexuality.

 

Many escorts identify themselves as Bi or Straight and don't want

to be connected to the sex industry or anything gay. So for alot

of escorts there is "John the Escort" & "Steve the Straight Man"

and never shall the two meet. We all have different levels of

disclosure with our clients and often it depends on how

comfortable we are in sharing what many consider to be private

information.

 

You're hiring an escort for his services, not for admission

to his private life. I know this can seem like a oneway street

when as the client you've shared some very personal info. with

an escort. I think because of the intimacy I share with my clients they feel comfortable sharing their lives with me. This

is one of the things I love most about my job. Hearing so many

client's stories over the years has been fascinating to me. Those

stories are what I will remember with fondness years from now

when my escort career has come to its end.

 

In the End, all that counts is what was True, what was Truly

felt and how we treated each other.

[ready4boi]

I think facade is the word for it. The idea of believing you can have a real friendship with someone you are paying for or have paid for sex with is just that. You have to realize and accept that most of these escorts offer a fantasy, something that is not real. Many of them lie for a living and are able to be very sexually dubious. Once you've accepted that, I do however believe it is possible to have acquaintances with them. It's just you should never take it personally because it is never meant to be taken personally. That's where johns make their biggest mistake. No matter what anybody says you should never get too personally involved or attached. It is a potential for big problems never worth the trouble.

[Guest Tony1953]

Perhaps one true test is whether an escort chooses to continue a personal, non-sexual relationship after he changes careers.

 

I had an out-of-town weekend engagement about a year and a half ago with an escort. (From the beginning, we shared our identities since I bought an airline ticket for him.) A good part of the time was spent talking about all manner of subjects, from how to patch together his personal finances, starting a business (I'm a CPA), family histories, taste in music and food, and so on. By the end of the weekend we had spent far more time talking than in the "professional" aspect.

 

Following that weekend, we corresponded frequently by e-mail as he was leaving the biz and looking at starting a business. A few months later I had the occasion to be on his home turf and we went to a concert and out to eat a couple of times. By then he was pretty much retired, so no "professional services" were rendered. I've since been out to see him twice more, and we correspond almost daily.

 

Is he my "best friend" or am I his? Probably not. But we're considerably more than casual acquaintances, as well. I expect we will maintain a solid friendship for life.

 

I don't think either of us expected this to develop as it has. But I certainly am glad it did.

[Guest Konga]

I had a friend once. A "best" friend, as we know them. This fellow was kind and generous to a fault. For example, I had become quite ill while on vacation one time and was laid up in a hospital about an hour north of Manhattan, where my friend lived. I had no immediate family in the vicinity, and while undergoing observation and testing, was clueless as to the prognosis. It could have gone either way and I was more than a little concerned about my future here on earth. My two week long stay in the hospital would have been sheer torture if it had not been for this friend, who selflessly drove an hour after work in the city everday to come and sit at my bedside.

I managed to pull through my ordeal, but the results of my illness meant a new and drastically altered lifestyle. Once again my friend was there with never a concern for himself, helping to make my difficult transition more bearable. He even let me stay at his place while I recouperated and helped me find housing in the city where I'd be closer to my job and the stress of commuting would be lessened. He leant me money to help pay the deposit on my new place. He did all of this with no regard for his own dealings and the obvious problems that having a near invalid living with him would present.

This friend of which I speak was not my lover, nor did we ever have sex or even share a kiss. We were just great friends who had built a bond through shared interests, trust, comraderie, and caring.

About a year after my recovery, it came to be known to me (I won't go into how I found out) that my great friend was an male escort. I was shocked to learn this, and more than a little angry. Why had this friend kept such an important piece of information from me? How could he have been so devious? I can only assume that he had felt that my knowing about his escorting would have meant that I would never have befriended him in the first place. And he would have been right. Escorts cannot be trusted, nor can they be believed. They are devious and shifty and make a living by being liars. Everyone knows it. I can't imagine what this one time "friend" thought he was going to get away with by pretending that he cared about me (imagine the level of deciet, driving an hour every day to visit me in the hospital - how elaborate!) I'm just glad I got wise and nipped the ten year long friendship in the butt before he got a chance to really abuse my kindness. I haven't told him that I know about his escorting, but he's still trying to decieve me. He calls and leaves messages: "I hope everything's allright", and "I miss hanging out with you", and this one kills me, "Do you by any chance have any of that money I leant you?" I don't answer the calls of course and I just wish they'd stop at this point. I'm trying to put the whole ugly "friendship" behind me, but his incessant lonely-hearted bleating won't let me. He's making my life hell. I have nightmares now where every one I know and love, all the people closest to me, have all at once told me that they were escorts. In the nightmare, I suddenly find myself terribly alone and suffering the punishment of knowing that all the love and caring was a sham. When everyone who cares in your life is an escort, what else would you be but alone.

Never again shall I befriend an escort, and would advise all here to follow suit. I'm not even sure I'll ever HIRE an escort again. If so, it will be purely to satisfy my own sexual needs. Thanks.

[Guest blankman]

Konga,

 

your story is very confusing to me and I find it hard to believe.

 

It sounds like -- on the contrary -- you are trying to extort the escort by not paying him back the money he lent you.

 

You don't mention anything you ever did for him only the nice things he did for you. If you have hired escorts before -- as you imply -- then how can you instantly conclude that anyone who is an escort is automatically a bad and untrustworthy person?

 

Am I missing something obvious or are you posting here just out of spite?

 

If you are for real I would recommend that you seek counselling for your persistent nightmares and anxiety.

 

If you're not for real, please go away.

[Barry]

Konga.........0 posts

 

This cannot be serious!!! Tell me it's a sad attempt at a joke.