Should Escorts Disclose HIV Status In Ads On This Site !!!!

[Guest Merlin]

Let us remember that "safe" sex is not safe it is only safer. No matter how careful the couple are, accidents happen. While you cannot know who is positive, if you avoid sex with those you know or believe to be positive, you are practising safer sex than if you have "safe" sex with suspected positives. Since "safe" sex with a positive involves some risk it is seriously wrong for positives not to disclose their status.

[Guest MrMan]

You're right Corey, should I ever be diagnosed POS I'd also quit

escorting, it wouldn't be worth it. I got into escorting for several reasons. One of the main reasons was because I love sex.

I thoroughly enjoy my job and being HIVpos and an escort would

be more stress than I ever wanted in my life.

 

I assume most of us here share a common experience. Either we have--hired escorts, work(or worked)as escorts or(as in my case)

both. I thought that's what this site was about...escorts and

the clients who hire them. AIM, may I politely suggest you go

out and gain some real world experience so your opinions carry

a little more weight. This is a forum to discuss topics and

issues that pertain to client/escort relationship. There are

enough people in this world blathering on about issues of which

they no little or nothing.

 

AIM, you're fortunate you're so LOGICAL during sex. Many men are

not, LOGIC(and the condoms)often go right out the window in the

heat of the moment.

 

Ideally it would great to have some sort of voluntary system

where an escort can submit a notarized document from their

doctor authenticating their HIV status and post this info. at the

top of their reviews and anyone who doesn't submit such a

document, I guess we could assume that they're positive. But, as

I said, IDEALLY.

[Guest AIM]

MrMan,

 

When you politely suggest I get a "little more experience" so that my opinion can carry more weight, I can only assume you are referring to my statement that I don't hire escorts. If that fact makes any opinion of mine less worthy in your (or anyone else's) eyes, that's fine. Each reader of every post has to determine that for himself. If you don't like my post(s) or consider me unworthy, the solution is simple: Don't read them.

 

:-)

Allen

[Guest DVS]

I am not questioning the honorability of the escorts who have answered this post about retiring if they became positive be we as clients cannot assume that most escort hold this high standard of ethics.

 

Let's face it the money is very good to some of these men and we should not expect them to all be honest. The same applies to the client being truthful. If I had a dollar.....

 

Money has been the center of evil since its inception. Do not for a minute assume an escort or anyone else is being honest when it comes to your healthy and safety. THe burn from the heat of the moment can last a lifetime.

 

I read this post and I believe the escort should disclose to the client and the same vice versa. This works in the perfect world but lets not hold our breath. People lie and also sometimes just plain don't know. BE SAFE! USE CONDOMs take precautions and get tested periodicly be honest with your partners it may save their life! Well enough of this I am off my soap box.

[Guest MrMan]

>MrMan,

>

>When you politely suggest I get

>a "little more experience" so

>that my opinion can carry

>more weight, I can only

>assume you are referring to

>my statement that I don't

>hire escorts. If that

>fact makes any opinion of

>mine less worthy in your

>(or anyone else's) eyes, that's

>fine. Each reader of

>every post has to determine

>that for himself. If

>you don't like my post(s)

>or consider me unworthy, the

>solution is simple: Don't read

>them.

>

>:-)

>Allen/AIM

 

I'm sorry you took that so personally. My point is that you made

some statements that are obviously rooted in the theoretical and

not in experience. Anyone can have an opinion about something and

I don't believe simply having read about escorts/clients on this

site can in any way replace actual experience or qualify someone to make what I considered to be judgmental statements.

[+ Lucky]

Well, Mr. Man, THE MAN, you still have not said what you would do if a client revealed to you that he was HIV positive. Why do you avoid that question?

It seems obvious that you would reward honesty by rejection, which is one of the reasons people aren't honest in the first place.

HIV positive people can have all kinds of fun in bed, kissing, cuddling, mutual jackoff, body worship, bestiality....oops, not that one, or simply blowing in your ear. So get the cotton out!

[Guest 7Zach]

It has happened to me, and depending on the circumstances, the time, place, etc, either we did something or we didn't. In any case, I paid the agreed upon amount, and was glad to do it. Like everyone says in here, ur to assume everyone is positive; however, the overwhelming majority of posters in here, including me, have their own views of safer sex, which include behaviors that are not necessarily the best, i.e., oral sex without condoms.

[Guest MrMan]

Lucky--I answered your question in my post #19, "When a client

informs me they're positive, I thank them for their honesty.

I DON'T do anything differently because I practice "safer sex"

all the time now." I don't know how much more clearly I could

have responded to your question.

 

You didn't answer my question regarding what would you do if

your best friend...???

 

I had no other "agenda" than the one stated.

 

The "attitude" to which I'm referring is one that many gay men

have, "It's none of my business...not my responsibility." If you

had sex with someone who had warts, herpes or any other STD for

that matter and your partner hadn't informed you, wouldn't you

have appreciated knowing this in advance, even if this info.

came from a third party? My point is that there are HIVpos

men who aren't taking responsiblity for their actions and I

took this "clarion call" as you put it to hopefully make him

think twice about his unsafe sex practices with uninformed

partners. If you truly felt a connection to other human beings

in this world and cared about their well-being, maybe you'd

understand why I did what I did and will continue to do.

[+ Lucky]

Darn it, I wrote a response and lost it! I accept my friends and sex partners whether or not they have HIV. I do not practice unsafe sex.

Now, you learned about your escort friend's behavior from a mutual client. May I indulge one more question? Before you spread his HIV status around, did you verify the allegation with the escort and get his side of the story?

That is my last question. If you did that, then I can't really disagree if you felt he was going to continue to infect unknowing clients.

[MiamiLooker]

>I do not know if this

>topic has been covered here

>before..

>After reading an escorts description it

>got me wondering...Should escorts be

>required to state their HIV

>status???..Submit proof to Hooboy ....

>So we as consumers can

>be more discriminating in our

>choices...What do Ya Think. It

>would make me think twice..

>

 

 

To those of you who think this would be a good idea, could just one of you explain the logistics of doing this? What "proof" would be submitted and how could HB verify it? How often should the "proof" be updated? How can the "proof" be challenged?

 

Can't we just accept rumors? Or, maybe just have the reviewer give his opinion of an escort's status in the review....

[Guest MrMan]

Lucky, as soon as this client told me what they had been doing

I talked to another escort who had been present and confirmed

what had taken place. He did not know the escort's HIV status

either. I then called the POS escort and asked him several

questions regarding his behavior. Initially he tried to lie to

me about it, but when I told him that the client and the other

escort had told me what had actually occurred..he admitted it

was true. Later on when talking to some mutual clients I found

that this was not an isolated incident. Finding out he was POS

had not altered his sexual practices. I also found out that he

and his former boyfriend of 7 years had a reputation for bare-

backing. I ended a friendship over this. It was not easy for me

at all. I was incredibly angry at him and very upset over the

loss of what had been a budding friendship.

[Guest AIM]

>I don't believe simply having read

>about escorts/clients on this

>site can in any way replace

>actual experience or qualify someone

>to make what I considered

>to be judgmental statements.

 

 

Give me a break. I have a lot of experience having sex with guys -- period. I've also had a lot of experience successfully avoiding becoming HIV+. I also have experience in dealing with others who haven't been so lucky. The HIV virus when being transmitted during sex between two gay men is not aware that one is an escort and the other is a client, or whether they are just two guys who had met earlier in a bar and are hot for each other.

 

And for the record, I hired two escorts about 15 years ago. Does that fact make it OK for me to post? Or does the fact that it has been so long make it not OK? Should all future posters submit an application to you for your prior approval?

 

I find it laughable that you refer to me as judgmental. Do yourself a favor and reread YOUR posts in this thread. I'm sorry, but you reek with self-righteousness.

 

First the Pope, and now Hall Monitor?

[Guest TheOriginalMessage]

All people who engage in sexual activity should disclose their HIV / AIDS status upon request. To do anything less would be (and in certain cases is) criminal. For an escort to "submit" his HIV / AIDS status to an unrelated third party is absurd. Our only protection against these diseases is prevention and education.

[Guest MrMan]

AIM--now you mention you hired two escorts 15 years ago, fine

you should have mentioned that earlier. When you said, "Since

I don't hire escorts..." I assumed that meant you never. I'm

well aware HIV doesn't know to whom it's being transmitted. I've

managed to protect myself against HIV and ALL other STDs during\

10 years as an escort. I've also lost friends to AIDS and two of

my best friends have been living with HIV for several years. I've

seen both of them sick as dogs from their medication and I've

been there for them when they were having a tough time dealing

with it psychologically.

 

Once again, I'm not setting myself up as some Moral Authority

(the POPE) nor as a Hall Monitor. I thought this was an excellent topic and I'm grateful Godiva posted it. I also thought

it warranted a serious debate and most who posted seemed to take

it as seriously as I. AIM, when you said you didn't hire escorts

I immediately thought, "Well what the hell is he doing here, how

can he have anything significant to contribute to this topic."

I'd tell you the same thing if we were in a roomful of people

discussing this issue. I'm sure we've all been in situations

where something was being discussed in a group setting where

pretty much everyone has at least some experience with the topic.

And then someone who we know has little or no experience chimes

in with his opinion on the subject. That is the sort of person

I thought you were AIM, someone sitting on the sideline commenting on what's going on, without having ever played the

game.

 

I am a very honest and direct man. I can smell bullshit a mile

away. I've been through a lot in my life(alcoholism, manic-depression, my parents disowning me, etc..) But you know what,

I'm grateful for all of it. Because for the first time in my life

I know who I am and I like myself. I'm not perfect because I've

discovered perfection is not the goal. I'm happier than I've

ever been. I have several very close friends who are my "chosen"

family and I love them dearly.

 

I'm also quite comfortable with my beliefs and I don't mind

people who may criticize me. You see, I don't take it personally.

I don't need to have everyone agree with me to make me feel that

I'm right. I prefer discussing issues with people who are confident in their opinions and aren't bothered having someone

question their experience or knowledge of the topic at hand. So you may believe I'm self-righteous or judgmental, but I have

a lot of Experience to back up everything I've said.

[Guest jizzdepapi]

government/insurance and HIV status

 

there is a very GOOD reason why HIV status, in an official, binding way, should not be disclosed. insurance companies routinely deny coverage to new applicants who are POS. this is an arbitrary decision; there is no recourse for the denied applicant. and it is one of the main reasons for the proliferation of confidential AIDS testing, both municipal and commercial.

 

several years ago, an insurance company employee stole records (i believe they were electronic files) from a florida hospital which contained names of POS patients. as laws stand on the books now, i believe, every one of those patients can be refused coverage should they let their insurance coverage lapse and reapply. POS individuals, by nature of their sometimes volatile health, may well need to stop and subsequently resume working and reapply for insurance coverage. despite all of clinton's hoopla, we never got "transportable" insurance which would guarantee citizens the right of insurance, despite a change of workplace. laws vary from state to state, with very few trying to restrict insurance comapny procedures.

 

and to show how the courts weigh in on this issue, 4 or 5 years ago there was a self-insured company in texas which denied coverage to a POS employee. previous to this employee's insurance claims, there were no HIV/AIDS restrictions on the company's policy. the court found in favor of the company, though there was an abundance of evidence that there had been NO previous restrictions.

 

maybe lawyers and/or businessmen out there have some updated information on this issue.

 

on a personal level, of course it is important to disclose your own status and to practice safer sex. i also think it is totally appropriate to warn clients and other escorts about irresponsible behavior by an escort, friend or colleague. in my view, you're a hero when you do that. and, of course, i would take into account potential grudges or motivation on everyone's part when receiving this information.

[Godiva]

RE: government/insurance and HIV status

 

Very Interesting..Thanxs for the Gov Stats..

 

What prompted me in posting this Question was that I had a recent encounter with a Very Popular escort. As I always do I asked him if he was positive and he said yes.. I was shocked..he gives no mention of this in his various adds in the area Gay Mags..I politely paid him $50 dollars for his honesty and left his apt.

 

What I thought would be a clear cut answer from my comrads here turned out to be a very thought provoking situation. besides my own responsibility here I believe what you all are saying is to encourage him ..on his own ..to fess up. If he does'nt should I then speak up..I will not see him again so what should I do guys?? Also a few postings ago I had encouraged some of our Top Ten escorts to weight in with their opinions on whether they would disclose their status if the become Positive. None of the big names have said anything. Again my friends..Cole, The hot Rick Monroe, Awesome Derrick, Justin, Crueler, Chris#4, Steve Teron, Riccardo, Gino, Miguel, Marco Rossi, Ryan, Matt Van Couver, Scott Matthews, Brandon, Mattop, Colin etc..

 

Would love to hear your thoughts..

Godiva

[Guest MrMan]

RE: government/insurance and HIV status

 

Godiva--one reason you may not have heard from one of these so-

called "Top Escorts" is because at least one of the escorts you

mentioned is listed with http://www.barebackcentral.net . Click on

Bareback Escorts and click on Mscl2forcfeedU. This site may be of

help in deciding what escorts you probably may not want to hire.

[Boston Guy]

No

 

>What prompted me in posting this

>Question was that I had

>a recent encounter with a

>Very Popular escort. As I

>always do I asked him

>if he was positive and

>he said yes.. I was

>shocked..he gives no mention of

>this in his various adds

>in the area Gay Mags..I

>politely paid him $50 dollars

>for his honesty and left

>his apt.

>

>What I thought would be a

>clear cut answer from my

>comrads here turned out to

>be a very thought provoking

>situation. besides my own responsibility

>here I believe what you

>all are saying is to

>encourage him ..on his own

>..to fess up. If he

>does'nt should I then speak

>up..

 

No. As I've said here before, the term "gay community" is supposed to mean something and if it means anything at all it must mean that we support each other. I've lost many friends to AIDS and I well know the potential this disease has. I wouldn't wish it on anyone and I am greatly saddened by the increase in rates of infection among younger guys.

 

But you have no right to 'out' someone by disclosing this or any other personal information, medical or not. Further, you have no responsibility to do so, either. The best thing we can all do is act as if those around us are positive and take appropriate measures to protect our health and theirs -- and then urge everyone else to do so.

 

Hold this information that was freely given to you in the confidence and context of an escort appointment private.

[Guest jizzdepapi]

Disclosing status?

 

I also say 'no' to disclosing status of escort on this board. the board is anonymous. u may be truthful and xxx is POS and is booking appointments and may or may not practice totally safe sex. or u may not be truthful and, for whatever reason, be telling stories about xxx. don't take this personally; the same advice might be given to me or any member of this message center.

 

also, don't forget that there are totally safe practices for a NEG can making love with a POS. you can kiss (assuming neither of u have any cold sores or open wounds; ASK!!!), you can indulge in mutual oral body worship, you can jerk each other, you can dry-hump, you can even suck dick of a POS if u use a condom and are VERY careful. you can watch porn, you can do all kinds of crazy and wonderful stuff. these practices have saved many a gay marriage and satisfied many loving NEG/POS relationships.

 

you might have slipped the escort $100 and had a blast before he left. who knows?

 

anyway, don't forget to keep on jizzin'

 

jizzdepapi

[Guest Tampa Yankee]

RE: No

 

Boston Guy

 

"But you have no right to 'out' someone by disclosing this or any other personal information, medical or not....

 

Hold this information that was freely given to you in the confidence and context of an escort appointment private."

 

I am with you...

[Guest Tampa Yankee]

RE: government/insurance and HIV status

 

Godiva,

 

"Also a few postings ago I had encouraged some of our Top Ten escorts to weight in with their opinions on whether they would disclose their status if the become Positive. None of the big names have said anything. "

 

I think this question you put to the escorts is inappropriate in this forum at this time. They are wise to take a pass.

 

A number of posts already have called into question the potential veracity of escorts and their motives in answering this question in the negative.Hence what is there for them to shed much light on or to gain other than to subject themselves undoubtedly to some unsavory posts either in this thread or down the road (as some file these tidbits away for later use). The question would be more appropriate in a one-on-one or possibly a less anonymous forum. But here with everyone anonymous to some degree (with the exception of the escorts BTW ) and some more anonymous than others (those first time posters have a habit of showing up a lot), I think this is not the forum, definitely not at this time.

[Godiva]

RE: Revealing HIV Status

 

Just wondering..

 

Is it really Outing...When escorts who advertise openly in gay magazines with facial photographs and fake names..

What do ya think??

 

MrMan..thanks for the heads up on Bareback..If I would have known in advance I would'nt have used his services..tho I was safe at the time...

 

Godiva

[Boston Guy]

RE: Revealing HIV Status

 

>Is it really Outing...When escorts who

>advertise openly in gay magazines

>with facial photographs and fake

>names..

>What do ya think??

>

 

Yes, it's really 'outing'. It's wrong and I hope you don't do it. You have no right to reveal another person's medical history. If you want to help people, urge them to practice safe sex.

 

If you attempt to reveal this kind of information, I seriously hope the moderators moderate the post into post heaven or wherever dead posts go... and that from someone who is on record as not caring much for having this board moderated.

[Guest Tampa Yankee]

RE: Revealing HIV Status

 

>Just wondering..

>

>Is it really Outing...When escorts who

>advertise openly in gay magazines

>with facial photographs and fake

>names..

>What do ya think??

 

 

Why isn't it??

[Godiva]

Tampa..thanxs for your words..although I respectfully disagree with your advice..There is never a good time and place for hard hitting truth..I think we can all agree to disagree..

 

Let me say that I had no intention of outing anyone..I came to this board for advice which as you can see there is a wide range of opinions none more important than the other.

 

Whats really really sad is as I hold this information close to my heart like you have suggested..some unsupecting souls will become infected by this escort whose privacy we should respect..the worst part of all is that is okay with most of you... sad.. sad.. sad

 

Someone said in an earlier post that we are a community....How can we call ourselves a community when we do not hold each member in our community responsible and accountable for their actions.

 

 

Anyway

Great Postings

Godiva