Looking for an open-minded LAWYER....

[BostonChris]

Well, I know I've posted that I'm looking for a photographer and also a web designer, but this time I need the big guns.

 

Wanted: Lawyer

 

Why? Well, since September I have received multiple letters of a harassing nature mailed to my home address. Also, I have had several notes and packages left in the lobby of my building. All are of a threatening nature, that is, claiming to have contacted law enforcement, IRS, condo board members, and neighborhood crime watch. Further, background checks have been done on my identity, and letters have been sent concerning my services to multiple people, i.e. tenant association members, relatives of mine, friends, etc. I have not retaliated in any way to these threats, however, it is clear to me that these threats are not stopping any time soon.

 

So... what should I do? Yes, I know who is doing this. But I'm not sure what action I should take. Actually, I'm not sure what options I have?

 

Usually, after I receive one of these threats, I get mad, then vent to my friends, then forget about it for a week until another shows up at my doorstep or mailbox.... like today.

 

Thanks guys, your input is invaluable.

Yours,

-Chris C.

[HotdadENYC]

>Wanted: Lawyer

>

>So... what should I do? Yes, I know who is doing this. But

>I'm not sure what action I should take. Actually, I'm not

>sure what options I have?

>

 

My advice is to secure legal help as soon as possible. Hopefully you've saved all the stuff and can demonstrate the pattern of harassment.

 

I am NOT a lawyer, but I would hope that there are both local statutes that protect against this abuse and possibly federal statutes for misusing the U.S. mail.

 

You DON'T Have to put up with this shit. My feeling is that it will continue to go on as long as you let it.

 

Good Luck

 

hd NYC

[eastbayguy]

>So... what should I do? Yes, I know who is doing this. But

>I'm not sure what action I should take. Actually, I'm not

>sure what options I have?

 

All I say is that I empathize totally. I was on the receiving end of one of these things. Sort of a crazy guy that I fired because he was bringing guns to work. He took it upon himself to follow me (impressive, because he lived in VA and I lived in CA at the time) and do all sorts of bizarre things. Things kept getting worse and worse.

 

>Usually, after I receive one of these threats, I get mad, then

>vent to my friends, then forget about it for a week until

>another shows up at my doorstep or mailbox.... like today.

 

The *WORST* thing you can do is wait to do something. Making this stop may take a while. Cease and desist letters usually fall on deaf ears when you're dealing with a nut. My general lawyer steered me to an expert in these matters. (another lawyer) The craziness dragged on for almost a year, then escalated drastically. I came home and clear evidence the guy had been in my house.

 

Thankfully, because this was work related, arising out of a work related matter, the company paid the bills. Which, were not trivial. I'll be happy to discuss any details and specifics via private mail, drop me a note here.

 

Good luck, best wishes, and all I can say is that I hope fixing this is less painful for you than it was for me.

 

--EBG

[BostonChris]

Thanks for the compassion.

Feel free to contact me (my info is online), I'm still fuming mad right now... so email may be the best.

Thanks again,

-Chris C.

[Guest Tampa Yankee]

Chris,

 

Sorry you have to deal with this issue. It is a dark side of the business.

 

You don't have too many options here. One is to ignore it and hope that it goes away. You have tried that unsuccessfully. It is no longer an option.

 

The other option is to confront your stalker with authority -- not personally. Counsel from attorney is a good first step. Most attorneys are plenty open minded when it comes to practicing their profession. It is how they make their living. Rather than give you my ideas of what might be done and in what order, speak to the attorney. Call a few if necessary until you find one with which you are comfortable.

 

I'd go with a gay or gay-friendly attorney just to reduce any potential 'personal' baggage the attorney may have. If I were in your shoes I would get a copy of Bay Windows or the Boston Pink Pages and review the posted attorney adds. Or call one of the domestic violence organizations for a referral. No need to go into all of the details with them. It should suffice to say that an acquaintance is persistently stalking you and you need to seek legal help.

 

The important thing is to get legal advice and set up a plan of action. Don't be dissuaded because you escort. Escorting per se is not illegal. Apparently your friends neighbors and family already have been exposed so that shouldn't be a worry either. Ultimately you may have file a harassment complaint and seek a restraining order. But that is gettng ahead of the situation. Maybe a forceful letter under an attorney's letter head will suffice.

 

Good luck.

[+ deej]

Excellent advice.

 

(Are you dug out yet?)

[Guest Tampa Yankee]

Rome Wasn't Shoveled in a Day

 

>(Are you dug out yet?)

 

 

x( Still have the front and back steps to do once I find them.. Today I did transform my auto from a vision of a block of cream cheese to something recognizable with four wheels. After finally digging my way to it.

 

Now I'm told 3" - 6" starting in the AM through tomorrow. ;( At least I'm not getting dicked by 18"+ this time. Who says bigger is better?

 

This storm screwed up my plans this week for French lessons but I hope to recover nicely by the weekend.

[HotdadENYC]

Chris, you have by now received some excellent advice and I hope it all works out well in the long run. Yeah, its a big pain in the ass (and NOT the kind you might get paid for), but such is life.

 

Please take the advice and do something about it. Don't ignore it any longer. You have no way of knowing to what depths this "stalker" might descend and at what point he decides that its time to up the ante.

 

I am ONLY trying to perhaps scare you into action. SO, find a good lawyer, one that you're comfortable with, and let him know the WHOLE story. If he raises his eyebrows, take out your checkbook. Any doctor or lawyer worth their weight in gold should have as their first priority, protecting YOU. The second priority, I'm quite sure, is how will they be paid.

 

Good luck.

 

P.S. The east coast just dug out and now we find that there will be at least another 3-6 more inches of snow tonight. Oh well.....

 

Regards,

 

hd NYC

[OneFinger]

Chris,

 

I'm sure most of us can't fully comprehend what you're going through. This doesn't sound like your typical stalker and, IMHO, he sounds dangerous.

 

Here's a couple of links to on-line support resources for victims of stalkers. I haven't searched the sites extensively but it appears to have good info that may be helpful.

 

http://www.nycagainstrape.org/survivors_factsheet_65.html

 

http://homepage.psy.utexas.edu/homepage/Group/BussLAB/stalkinghelp.org/

 

I fully agree with the suggestion to contact a gay-friendly lawyer. While they may not deal directly with stalking issues, they will know colleagues that can assist and are open-minded.

 

Good luck and update us on your findings.

[Guest zipperzone]

>So... what should I do? Yes, I know who is doing this. But

>I'm not sure what action I should take. Actually, I'm not

>sure what options I have?

 

Have you considered a "Saturday Night Special" ?

[Boston Guy]

Check your email.

 

I sent you the name and number of a competent gay attorney in Boston.

 

BG

[noviceny]

Chris,

 

Damn ...that is fucked up !!!! I think you have a few things goin for ya though : 1) You know who he is...very important 2) You are probably sick enough of this shit to do something about it 3) You have the tools you need to make this shit stop. Use your friends as a support system to help you stay on track and pursue this shit. It is natural that we dont want to deal with bullshit, but some shit cant be ignored.

 

Peace

[Doug69]

>Well, I know I've posted that I'm looking for a photographer

>and also a web designer, but this time I need the big guns.

 

What you need, first and foremost, is a restraining order, which you ought to have no trouble obtaining given the pattern and frequency of this definitively harrassing behavior. The restraining order will prohibit the person from communicating with you or coming within a certain-mile-radius of your home or workplace.

 

Then, when he violates one of those prohibitions (and they always do), the police can be called and they will arrest the violator. Most local police departments have come to take very seriously violations of these types of restraining orders, because those willing to violate them are, unless stopped or scared, typically headed for far worse behavior.

 

Most local criminal courts are designed to allow applications for these sorts of restraints without the need for counsel, but it certainly never hurts to have someone familiar with the system assisting you.

[Guest backbaygayguy]

>What you need, first and foremost, is a restraining order ....

>

The situation sucks, and unfortunately you need to get involved to end it. I'm not experienced with this type of thing, but (as others have said), please act now. A restraining order sounds good. However, perhaps pursue after consulting with a gay lawyer who can advise of any unexpected consequences from going to court. The lawyer can help you plan what else to do if/when the order is violated -- I think you need to plan several steps ahead. Also, might be useful if the attorney sends a registered letter telling the guy to quit and outlining what you and the lawyer intend to do if the order is not respected. The attorney's letter might reinforce that you mean business.

 

Also, the attorney can take some of the pressure off you to manage this by yourself.

 

Good luck.

[BostonChris]

I wanted to thank everyone for their input in this matter. Yes, I know, this sucks, but I'm going to try and get through it. And the reason I asked for help is because I plan on pursuing action immediately. I'm contacting a lawyer this week seeking counsel, and based upon his advice I'll move forward... or not.

Most of you have either posted advice and/or sent me emails (to all of which I am grateful) and I will take this into consideration. As of now, my best bet is to retain a lawyer (and thanks to you guys I found a few) who can best understand the situation and work towards its ultimate resolution.

 

Awww... what's says 'happy birthday' better than a restraining order!... well, except if you're on the restrained side. Us aquarians always seem to get into such scandal!

 

Thanks again guys, I'll let you know my progress. In the meantime, feel free to send emails and messages... or baseball bats and horseheads... (wait, that last part was a joke... if I wake up with a horsehead in my bed I'll freak!)

 

Yours,

-Chris C.

[OneFinger]

Glad you've been given some good lawyer referrals. I agree that a restraining order is necessary.

 

But, the idea of a "Saturday Night Special" (or something a little more robust) is worth serious consideration. Here's a link describing the laws and process for getting a concealed carry permit in your state.

 

http://www.packing.org/state/index.jsp/massachusetts

 

Since Massachusetts is NOT a "shall issue" state, you have to describe the reason you feel threatened and need protection. The police and the courts may take your stalking complaints more seriously if you've actually gone to the trouble to get a permit.

[Johninpdx]

I was thinking a SIGArms P229 9mm. Compact, reliable, accurate and a 10 round mag.

[OneFinger]

A sweet little revolver is the Taurus Titanium Model 415 .41 Mag.

 

http://www.taurususa.com/imagesMain/H_415SH2C.jpg

 

Easy to carry, sufficient power, and fairly light-weight.

[BostonChris]

Ugh. The stalker strikes again. This is getting out of control. 4 letters so far in January. This letter is by far the WORST. But it's content makes me question the sender... I thought I knew, but now I'm not sure... it's tough to think like a crazy person when you're sane.

So... I contacted a lawyer, but I wasn't able to set something up until next week.

 

Just wanted to keep you posted.

Thanks again for all of your support and concern.

Yours,

-Chris C.

[noviceny]

Yowch...I am not an advocate of violence but I think sometimes all a person needs is a good ass kicking !!! Guns are too impersonal and there is something about being hit in the face that makes a person think twice

 

Good luck man...try to keep you spirits up...go out with your friends...go see Elektra - that was some sweet shit !!!

[joel304]

I am a lawyer. Secure a restraining order immediately. Show up at you local court and ask about their procedures. This can often be accomplished in one day. Very cheap.

 

Be sure to bring your proof. You will appear before a judge, and, if granted, need to have the order served professionally to your nemesis. Good luck.

[woodlawn]

RE: Missed Something?

 

>I am a lawyer. Secure a restraining order immediately. Show

>up at you local court and ask about their procedures. This

>can often be accomplished in one day. Very cheap.

>

>Be sure to bring your proof. You will appear before a judge,

>and, if granted, need to have the order served professionally

>to your nemesis. Good luck.

 

I haven't read every post in this thread and may well have missed something, but the original post seems to state that the threats received are actually warnings that the sender is telling or will tell people that the thread author is an escort -- which is true. Is that behavior for which Massachusetts law entitles him to get a restraining order? In most states with which I'm familiar, he would be required to demonstrate that he has received threats of physical harm.

[+ Lucky]

RE: Missed Something?

 

Can you not get a restraining order to prevent harassment?

[noviceny]

RE: Missed Something?

 

Im not sure about this, but it would seem that you would need to name the person against whom the restraining order is being issued. Chris said he wasnt sure about who it was right ?

 

I also think that there are a number of reasons one can get a restraining order, besides just impending physical harm...dont know wjat they are though.

[Boston Guy]

RE: Missed Something?

 

The threshhold for obtaining a restraining order in Massachusetts is lower than in many other states. In Massachusetts, a person need only be placed in fear of suffering imminent bodily harm to compel a judge to issue a restraining order.

 

BG