It's not about the orgasm...but it would be nice

[phage]

As someone mentioned…talking about sex might not carry the drama of that “other” thread that I got reeled into, but it sure is a lot more fun. This is personal and a little embarrassing. I had to remind myself that only one person knows my true identity and he is an escort I see regularly so it will hardly be a surprise to him.

 

I find it extremely difficult to get off during sex. I have a GREAT time and enjoy it thoroughly, but more often than not, the actual orgasm just isn’t going to happen. I have no problem with this, but partners sometimes do – especially non-escort partners. There comes a point where I have to say “it’s okay…quit trying” and that is always awkward. I can always turn a session into a mutual jerk off thing, just to take care of business, but I’m not really in to that.

 

I can get myself off…no problem. I discovered masturbation very early in life and have been flogging myself almost every day since. I have wondered if that is part of the problem. Have I desensitized by little buddy? Have I conditioned myself to get off in a too specific manner? Do you guys need a very specific “thing” – whatever it is – to push you over the edge?

[marc anthony]

Actually, with rare exception, I can almost NEVER cum while encased in a condom. So after hours of fucking even the most beautiful boy, I often have to pull out, ask them to lie on their stomach, and jerk myself off onto the object of desire... their gorgeous smooth ass.

[Guest TruthTeller]

>I find it extremely difficult to get off during sex. I have

>a GREAT time and enjoy it thoroughly, but more often than

>not, the actual orgasm just isn’t going to happen.

 

Most people who can't cum during sex, even though very aroused, suffer from one of two problems (usually both, to varying degrees): (1) an addiction to cumming via masturbation and/or (2) an inability to release all sexual restraints in the presence of another.

 

Condition (1) is accounted for by the fact that a person knows how best to stimulate their own pee-pee (sorry for the overly technical language). No matter how good someone else is at rubbing and manipulating your "little buddy" (to use your term), you can always know how to do it better. If you do it every day, multiple times a day, you will be accustomed to cumming only with maximized stimulation, so anything anyone else does isn't good enough.

 

Related to this syndrome is the fact that people who ejaculate principally through masturbation develop the need to control every aspect of their sexual stimuli. When you masturbate, you control EVERYTHING - what the object of your desire does, when they do it, how they look, how they smell, what they say, etc. It's perfection. You can think away any flaw, manufacture any fantasy. Reality, though, is never pefect, and doesn't match that.

 

The lack of control one experiences in real life (which can actually be the most liberating thing if accpeted) is seen as an imperfection by the maturbation addict. Reality can be arousing, but can never quite match the perfection of the masturbatory fantasy. The cure for this is to learn how not to need total control, and to be open, rather than rigid, with what constitutes "perfection."

 

I think that's enough for today. I'll cover condition (2) in the next class.

 

>I have

>no problem with this, but partners sometimes do – especially

>non-escort partners.

 

People think it's your moral obligation to cum when you have sex with them. If you can't or don't - even if you don't want to - they see it as an insult, or as a failing on their part. You should just fake it until you learn how to do it (Screaming - moaning - surreptitiously wiping spit on the area - telling them you came).

 

>Have I desensitized by little buddy? Have I

>conditioned myself to get off in a too specific manner?

 

I don't think your little buddy is desensitized. I think you are too attached to the control and perfection which masturbation provides, and insufficiently willing to relax and accept imperfection. I would recommend thinking about that, along with a two-week moratorium or so on pleasuring yourself. If the need to masturbate becomes compelling, just think about your naked grandmother urging you to lick her pussy. That will work, I promise.

[Rick Munroe]

>If the need to masturbate becomes compelling,

>just think about your naked grandmother urging you to lick

>her pussy. That will work, I promise.

 

Not for me; mine's a hottie (bad tipper, though).

[Guest Joey Ciccone]

I've had your granny and you're right; she's fuckin' hot. She tipped me plenty tho'. Go figure.

 

(just kidding, Rick - she didn't tip at all.) :-)

[+ Lucky]

RE: Grandma

 

She was too young for me....

[Rick Munroe]

>(just kidding, Rick - she didn't tip at all.) :-)

 

Good thing you added that, Joey!

I was just about to make an angry phone call to the home...

[Guest Joey Ciccone]

RE: ...but it would be a nice place to retire

 

>Good thing you added that, Joey! I was just about to make an angry phone call to the home...<

 

Ugh, I know what you mean. I hate doing outcalls at that place. Ben Gay is NOT an aphrodisiac.

[Guest Derek Ross]

RE: Grandma

 

>(Can the Yankees do it again? Watch that cute Andy Pettite pitch tonight!)

 

I don't have any information to ass (I mean add) to the original question at hand.

But in response to Lucky: Yes, the Yankees will do it again and I will be watching Andy and his ass.

[Rick Munroe]

RE: Grandma

 

>Derek: I will be watching Andy and his ass.

 

Oh great...which means another evening of me doing a naked bump-and-grind in the living room to get his attention.

[Guest WetDream]

RE: True Grandma Tale

 

My friend Bob's grandma was visiting him from Texas. One night during her stay he got up to take a leak. He walked into the darkened bathroom and proceeded to whiz only to hear his grandma cry out, "Stop it Bobby, you are pissing on me!"

[ready182]

Yeah, but I can't help thinking about grandpa

[+ nycman]

RE: ...but it would be a nice place to retire

 

>Ben Gay is NOT an aphrodisiac.

 

It is if you put it in the right places!

 

Be careful though…a little goes a LONG way.

[Guest JON1265]

Getting back on topic -

 

For 200 bucks an hour (sometimes more) - I am cumming and so is my escort - usually all over my face - but that's another thread.

[phage]

>you are too attached to the control and perfection which

>masturbation provides, and insufficiently willing to relax

>and accept imperfection. I would recommend thinking about

>that, along with a two-week moratorium or so on pleasuring

>yourself. If the need to masturbate becomes compelling,

>just think about your naked grandmother urging you to lick

>her pussy. That will work, I promise.

 

TT,

 

Thanks for the thoughtful response. Where do you get this shit? Regardless of how you came by the knowledge it all sounds pretty reasonable to me. I’m sure there is an element of not being able to fully relax, although it has more to do with my own imperfection and not my partners. (The escort I mentioned is actually my idea of male perfection. A beautiful, sexy man who just couldn’t get any better – at least for my tastes.)

 

I’m going to consider the moratorium. Two weeks, huh? I don’t think I’ve gone two weeks without masturbating since I was nine or ten years old. (I can’t be the only daily whacker around here.) I’m sure I’ll be resorting to your visual suggestion about Day Two.

 

Later dude.

[Guest cmp]

I'm not sure this is a problem. If you don't consider it a problem and if you are satisfied with the kissing, the body contact and the hot action, then it's no problem. Indeed, try not cumming for a week before the encounter, it should help. Look, Mark Anthony uses your way of cumming even *during* a session with a hot escort and if he is not having a blast, who is? My best encounter so far (out of only three...) was with an unbelievably sweet twink at Villa Gianni. He did cum, but I did not feel like cumming that day, I even asked him to stop stimulating me when he started doing that too well. Nevertheless, I had my best time ever and I went to sleep with a huge smile that night.

 

There are many ways to party, you may enjoy the less obvious ones too. Have fun!

[Guest Kevin 2]

I guess I'm one of the lucky guys around here. I've been a little nervous and slower than normal to cum the first time I meet a guy. However I was always able to without much extra effort. Lookout once I get comfortable around you because then cumming only once isn't the issue its more like 3 or 4 times in one evening }>