Being friendly with Strippers

[hiJinX]

dedicated to Lucky. :-)

 

I make a point of tipping well and being nice to dancers. I appreciate what the work they do and what they add to a place. I've actually developed platonic friendships with a number of them as a result. Sometimes it gets me a extra attention and access (so to speak). As one guy said, "You're respectful and that makes us want you to touch us more". He routinely grabs my hand and puts it various places on his glorious bod while working.

 

I've noticed things going the other way recently and actually had a conversation with one of the guys last night.

 

As a result of my being the nice (and sexy, ask anyone) guy at the bar, there are some guys who while being extra friendly are actually giving me LESS attention while working. Maybe its that they take my tips for granted or are more open to getting dirty with a guy they arent likely to see again. But at times I get only glancing attention while the guy down the bar who tips a buck is getting more for his money than I who am more generous.

 

Last night a dancer actually came by and sat next to me in between sets to chat me up and brought up the difference of attention and we had a nice talk. His claim was that he's being respectful. I've got all kinds of info about his personal life etc and he says he would normally avoid talking about that or make stuff up when talking to patrons. If I ask how his Thanksgiving was, he'll tell me about what he actually did. I told him thats great and I appreciate that but I want to see his fine ass as much as the next guy. :-) We'll see how things are in the future.

 

So, I ask you all, whats the happy medium to draw here? How do you be gregarious and respectful with the guys working but avoid being taken for granted and get the attention, obnoxious demanding patrons get?

 

'Cause I guarantee, I like some cock in my face as much, if not more than the next guy. }(

[MTLover]

I liked this post (a lot.) I really appreciated learning the dancer's perceptions of the 'generous and respectful' client. After 10 years of Montreal visits, I've had similar experiences. I'm heading back to Montreal again in less than two weeks and appreciate the perspective(s) the post provides.

 

I tend to meet and 'get to know' someone at one of the clubs and

spend my backroom time almost exclusively with that dancer

during the time in the city. I agree that when you are the 'most respectful' of a dancer, many times you are encouraged by them to be more familiar in the back...sometimes not though (they usually don't get many second backroom tries from me.) And I've also noticed trips where I've not been approached by club long-timers or 'regulars' and have wondered why?

 

In several instances, the 'relationships' evolve to outside-the- club socializing, going out with them (and their girlfriends,) learning about them and sharing details about my life with them. However, I've found that once the relationship crosses into a comfortable friendship, I am the one who often feels uncomfortable continuing the same backroom relationship. (I just can't seem to make the transition when one minute we are talking of his son's hockey game and the next I'm feeling him up while he gyrates on my lap with his tongue in my ear.) In a few cases, I've been able to keep the 'friend' and move on to another backroom favorite. I have to admit, though, it has been disappointing a few times when guys with whom I thought to be friends (beyond the paying client relationship) no longer wished to share/socialize once I stopped taking them to the 'back'.

 

I'd be very interested in reading any follow up posts you want to supply as you speak to 'more' dancers. Thanks.

[Jeff]

Okay - dumb question - but what exactly does happen in the backroom? Is it just a private lapdance - or can you guys get naked or touch or suck or be sucked or more ?

[Guest princeleo]

I also find this to be a fascinating topic. I visited Montreal 3 times over the past two months and this has given me the opportunity to get to know some of the dancers very well, and also build somewhat of a reputation for myself. I've been told I am very generous (which is true) and very respectful (which for me, just means shy in the back).

 

I have had some problems at Campus in particular when I have dances early in my visits. Some of those dancers have become quite upset when I do not elect to have dances with them later in the trip. They refuse to leave me alone even when I make it quite clear I don't want a repeat experience. They make it difficult for me to meet other dancers. Generally I have had dances from them on slower nights, but on later visits I prefer to spend time with new dancers or some of my old favorites.

 

One dancer was fired from Campus at my last visit, I was told in part because he was complaining so loudly about how I was spending all my money on one of his coworkers, and not on him. (He gave a pretty poor dance in the back.) He has sinced moved to Adonis, so now it is difficult for me to visit there. That coworker also told me he was threatened by another dancer and had to give him a little money to back off. Too much F***ing drama.

 

But I did develope a friendship with my favorite dancer. He has made me dinner at his apartment and I have spent the night there as just a friend (no money involved). But alas, what I thought was a friendship may not have been. On my last visit, I only saw him outside the club and those encounters always ended up with him asking me for money, as a friend. I gave him alot of money, then he disappeared, and had not returned my phone calls. He did not have to work that week because he had money from me, so I did not even get a dance from him. Maybe I was the victim of being played over the long term, or I am just a fool. But it did leave me bitter and depressed about trying to be friends with dancers.

 

I still count some dancers as friends and speak with them on the phone every once in a while. But I am under no illusion that it is all about money. So the lessons I have learned are save your money for only the dancers you really like. If it is a slow night, save your money for another time or go hire an escort. Also it is fine to be friendly in the clubs, but be careful when developing relationships outside of the clubs. These guys are in it for the money and most view you only as an ATM machine.

[Guest princeleo]

It varies alot on the club and the dancer. At Taboo, it is just a lap dance because there is no privacy, but the dances are only $10 per song.

 

At Adonis and Campus, what you get can be a surprise. For $20 generally you can touch the dancer, on times to completion if you pay for enough songs. A few will let you suck them. Some will touch you. Only once has a dancer sucked me, and given the circumstances that is not really what I wanted. I have never had anything happen beyond that. My favorite dancer lets you touch him while french kissing the entire time, but kissing is unusual.

 

In a larger context, there is the issue of the new $20 dances. Conversations I have had with fellow patrons have led me and others to conclude that the quality of the dancers has decreased slightly over the past year. I think some of the classier dancers have left because of what customers are expecting in the $20 dances. They don't want to be so sexual with customers, so they leave the business. They have been replaced by guys that will do more in the back, but don't give off the same high quality aura of the classier dancers. Instead of the drop dead gorgeous dancers, there are now more street types.

[+ Lucky]

Princeleo has it right. We must always realize that , for the dancer or the escort, this is a business. As in any business relationship, treat your supplier with courtesy and make it known exactly what you want for your money. If you don't get it, move on.

[LustinGuy]

In my experience there are pros and cons to being close to a particular dancer. On the one hand, you may be able to spend more time with him and get to know him better but on the other hand one or both of you may become less "physical" when alone together...

It has happened to me more than a few times where you start becoming friendly with a dancer and, over time, start looking at him as more of a little brother and less as a sexual fantasy/play toy/object.

Over time I have realized that I don't necessarily need to be friends with dancers... like lucky says... when its all said and done it really is a business relationship. Sometimes getting too close ruins what you set out for in the first place.

I guess I should figure out a way to put this into practice; I just spent the last 4 hours running around town shopping with a "friend" dancer from Montreal who is all alone here in Florida. Dropped him off when we were done and the only contact was a kiss on the cheek. Nothing wrong with that... its just hard to go to the club tonight and look at him as a piece of meat!

 

For me, there's something especially exciting about meeting an incredibly hot guy for the first time and realizing you can have him butt naked in your lap within 5 minutes.

 

I think some customers fall into the trap of trying to demonstrate how close they are with a dancer and end up spending silly amounts of money to get little more than what everybody else gets at market rates. They may think they are buying some sort of special access or status... but what they often don't consider is that any of these guys can completely disappear from this whole scene tomorrow, never to be heard from again. And then poof: there goes your investment and 'special' relationship ... I've seen it happen over and over.

[Cooper]

Good choice of words "friendly" not friends.

 

I've seen too many customers/clients trying to be friends with these dancers/escorts, only finding themselves hurt.

[hiJinX]

I agree with friend vs friendly. I just like to acknowledge the person in the performer and avoid being the obnoxious customer who comes in doesnt tip and gets grabby with the dancer.

 

It's a manners thing for me I suppose.

[+ newatthis]

A couple of years ago I fell hard for a dancer who quickly (on my next visit) dashed my expectations. A Montreal friend with years of experience gave me his perspective: these are 20-something year-olds (that's the type I tend to fall for), an age group can often be flaky and unreliable. It's usually neither more nor less than that.

 

That good advice has saved me a lot of emotional wear and tear and allowed me to have some memorable experiences, with young guys who -- for a while anyway -- were a lot of fun, and often thoughtful and affectionate as well. Thanks to my friend (and practice!) I've mastered the art of falling in love during a visit and falling immediately out of love when I leave.

 

Unlike mtlover and some of the other posters here, getting close to a dancer does not make me uncomfortable with him in a sexual situation -- just the opposite, in fact. The more we know about each other and the more time we spend together, the more comfortable we feel sexually as well.

[DameDaxx]

And let's not forget that when they become "friends", pretty soon after they ask ya for *cough* :

 

"loans"

 

 

Ooo la la

[Guest CURIOUS35]

:-) :-) :-) :-)

 

I have been to Campus in Montreal and various other strip clubs in Europe, Canada, the Philippines and the USA.

 

I found some common threads amongst the dancers:

Most are straights

Most are down on their luck or just plain lazy to find a job or

Most don't want to have low paying jobs

Most will do anything to make money!

 

And I also found some common threads amongst patrons of strip bars:

The patrons run the gamut of societal status,

The patrons loved to see beautiful men in all their glory,

Most if not all are prepared to tip a dollar or two to most(not all!) dancers.

 

One thing I learned: Being friendly with strippers can result in many things: they may make indications they like you and befriend you... they may ignore you and make you suffer, in essence making you drool and run after them...or they may play one game and then completely turn around and surprise you.

 

I have made friends with some dancers to the point of inviting them to my New Years Eve party!

 

Dancers like any human being, behave, depending on the stimulus and the circumstances of the relationshsip and the locale of the situation on various spectra of human foibles and folly!

 

In short... I can never pinpoint with certainty, how a dancer will react to me -- I like to play it by ear and experience the hunt (wink*)

 

 

 

:7 :7 :7 :7 :7

[jakobsen]

"Most are down on their luck or just plain lazy to find a job or

Most don't want to have low paying jobs

Most will do anything to make money"

 

I beg to disagree--at least from a Montreal perspective since I haven't been to strip clubs in other countries to form an opinion.

 

For some dancers, it is a job. And one can argue that they help create jobs and fuel the economy. If it weren't for them, the waiters, bartenders, DJs, managers at the clubs would have to find jobs elsewhere or collect unemployment checks.

[JT Brooklyn]

Cooper... Definitely so! Most of us learn that lesson very fast.

 

Be it a Working Guy or Stripper, 99% of the Time you are in the same room.. they are there to strictly "Work It" like the Song says! LOL

 

I Personally like the use of "Acquaintance" Myself! LOL

[Guest josephga]

>Princeleo has it right. We must always realize that , for the

>dancer or the escort, this is a business. As in any business

>relationship, treat your supplier with courtesy and make it

>known exactly what you want for your money. If you don't get

>it, move on.

 

lucky you're a class act id gladly have you on my massage table..