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Friday Funnies


jackhammer91406

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It's not Friday, but it's too bad there's not a convenient way to share the craigslist ads that make me laugh.

 

Today is Independence Day. There are a variety of ads online creatively proclaiming "I promise you'll see fireworks." Here's one of my favorite LOL sources

 

Hey STRAIGHT guy! ... wanna see fireworks?? ...let this fag suck you! - m4m

Is your girlfriend not into sucking cock?

Does she suck for one minute, then stop?

 

Does the bitch not swallow?

Are you frustrated because she gags, and says, "Stop,....my mouth is too small!"

 

well then......... it's time for a bit of INDEPENDENCE huh??

 

fuck the hag, and let a fag rock your world!

 

You are a REAL man, and your body should be worshipped from head-to-toe, and your cock should be a shrine for this faggot to lick, slurp, suck, stroke, caress, and deepthroat.

 

I am the best cocksucker around ... I'll lick your ballsack, taint, and I'll eat your asshole out if you so desire =)

 

Are you into giving direction, and telling your cockwhore HOW you like it sucked?

 

Do you like holding someone's head , and treating a throat as nothing more than a mere fuckhole?

 

YOU: 18-34 yo (max!), straight, whiteboy, very open minded

 

If you are over 35, don't waste your time replying, I don't care how big your cock is!

The author clearly knows what he wants, and he's pretty creative about going after it.

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It's not Friday, but it's too bad there's not a convenient way to share the craigslist ads that make me laugh.

 

Today is Independence Day. There are a variety of ads online creatively proclaiming "I promise you'll see fireworks." Here's one of my favorite LOL sources

 

Hey STRAIGHT guy! ... wanna see fireworks?? ...let this fag suck you! - m4m

Is your girlfriend not into sucking cock?

Does she suck for one minute, then stop?

 

Does the bitch not swallow?

Are you frustrated because she gags, and says, "Stop,....my mouth is too small!"

 

well then......... it's time for a bit of INDEPENDENCE huh??

 

fuck the hag, and let a fag rock your world!

 

You are a REAL man, and your body should be worshipped from head-to-toe, and your cock should be a shrine for this faggot to lick, slurp, suck, stroke, caress, and deepthroat.

 

I am the best cocksucker around ... I'll lick your ballsack, taint, and I'll eat your asshole out if you so desire =)

 

Are you into giving direction, and telling your cockwhore HOW you like it sucked?

 

Do you like holding someone's head , and treating a throat as nothing more than a mere fuckhole?

 

YOU: 18-34 yo (max!), straight, whiteboy, very open minded

 

If you are over 35, don't waste your time replying, I don't care how big your cock is!

The author clearly knows what he wants, and he's pretty creative about going after it.

 

Thanks. I'll be borrowing some of these lines.

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From Quora:

 

What is your most interesting encounter with the police?

I was hitchhiking. A guy picked me up. A few miles down the road we were pulled over by a Washington State trooper.

 

The trooper was taking his time getting out of his cruiser. My driver was getting upset - glancing nervously in the rear view mirror.

 

“Look at this guy! What the hell is doing? Talking on the radio, looking out the window. Fucking cops!”

 

The trooper has finally emerged from his cruiser and is now adjusting his Smokey Bear hat while checking his look in the driver’s door glass.

 

“Jesus H Christ, what next?” My driver furiously rolled down his window and yelled back at the trooper “Hey! Did you forget your lint roller or some goddamn thing?”

 

The trooper straightened up, glanced our way and began a slow, deliberate walk up to the driver’s side of our car.

 

He had his right hand firmly on his weapon. I had my hand on the door handle, debating whether to jump out and run. The driver was halfway out the window, almost screaming .

 

“So tell me, pig, just what do you want? Why the hell did you pull me over?”

 

The trooper crouched down so his face was even with the driver’s. His face showed no emotion. I was jammed up tight to passenger side door, trying to make it clear that I’m Not With This Guy.

 

The trooper glanced at me, then held the driver in a steady gaze.

 

“What time are we supposed to be at Mom’s house tonight? I’ve got her birthday cake back at the office.”

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Pavlov's cats have the hoomin trained well.

 

The cat on the left (from out perspective) needs to be taught that if it rings the other cat's bell, the other cat gets fed!

Sorry, I do not know how to imbed a video from Twitter, but if you can see it I find these kids hilarious.

It's usually easier to insert a link to the tweet rather than the video ('copy link to tweet' in the drop down menu at the top right of the tweet, for anyone who didn't know).

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The cat on the left (from out perspective) needs to be taught that if it rings the other cat's bell, the other cat gets fed!

 

It's usually easier to insert a link to the tweet rather than the video ('copy link to tweet' in the drop down menu at the top right of the tweet, for anyone who didn't know).

 

No Mike, I want to share here a video I liked in Twitter and I do not know how.

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No Mike, I want to share here a video I liked in Twitter and I do not know how.

Yep, that's what I meant. If you post the link to the tweet, people can click on that, open the tweet and view the video from there. You can do that from that drop down menu rather than doing what you did to select what you posted.

 

It's the pillow fight, right? The link to the tweet is in the middle of the alphabet soup you posted: https://twitter.com/LILAFRIMANE/status/883942930666442752

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