Jump to content

Friday Funnies


jackhammer91406

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 8.4k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

From Mcsweeney’s

 

New Latin State Mottoes For The 21st Century:

 

Alabama

Ubi fas est discipulos in ludo verberare

“Where it is still legal to beat students at school”

 

Alaska

Ab his litoribus Russiam videmus

“From these shores we see Russia

 

Hawaii

Cafea, litora, lunae melles

“Coffee, beaches, honeymoons”

 

Idaho

Aliquis hic dux dux manuum sit

“Anyone could be a militia leader here”

 

Illinois

Multi cives hinc fugerunt

“Many citizens have fled from here”

 

Indiana

Cum vir virum in matrimonium ducat, nostri artoptae bellarium non faciunt

“When a man marries another man, our bakers do not make the cake”

 

 

Iowa

Magni porci, magni homines

“Big pigs, big people”

 

Kansas

Supra nos semper volatis

“You always fly over us”

 

Kentucky

Nostri equi sunt celeres, nostrum temetum forte

“Our horses are fast, our liquor strong”

 

Louisiana

Iecoribus conviviis magnis nocere

“Harming livers with big parties”

 

Maine

Cur non pars Canadae sumus?

“Why aren’t we part of Canada?”

 

Maryland

Vetus Sinus omnibus

“Old Bay on everything”

 

Massachusetts

Tacete, scimus nos asperos esse

“Shut up, we know we are rude”

 

Michigan

Nos paenitet aquam atram habere

“We are sorry we have poisonous water”

 

Minnesota

Aestates caldissimae, hiemes frigidissimae

“Very hot summers, very cold winters”

 

Mississippi

Nostri ludi non sunt pessimi

“Our schools are not the worst”

 

Missouri

Scivitisne nos sex millia speluncarum hic habere?

“Did you know we have 6,000 caves here?”

 

Montana

Vetera dictio lingua Hispana conscripta est

“Our old motto was in Spanish”

 

Nebraska

Segetes conversae ante oculos versantur

“Fields of modified grain appear before our eyes”

 

Nevada

Lustra et aleae

“Brothels and gambling”

 

New Hampshire

Candidati nos amare adsimulant

“Candidates pretend to love us”

 

New Jersey

Pontes et litora claudere

“Closing bridges and beaches”

 

New Mexico

Nolite pittas super tectos iacere

“Don’t throw pizzas on our roofs”

 

New York

Bona nobis tributa magna auferunt

“High taxes deprive us of wealth”

 

North Carolina

Nihil carnum fumosorum sine acido

“No barbecue without vinegar”

 

North Dakota

Sedes vitae importuna hieme

“A place unsuitable for living in the winter”

 

Ohio

Nostra flumina non iam ardent

“Our rivers no longer catch on fire”

 

Oklahoma

Nulli turbines nos timent

“Tornados don’t scare us”

 

Oregon

Mercatura iusta et cibi naturales

“Fairtrade and organic foods”

 

Pennsylvania

Volventem Molem et Urbem Ferream cotidie bibere

“Drinking Rolling Rock and Iron City everyday”

 

Rhode Island

Perlucida etiam sorbitio peloridis sit

“Clam chowder should actually be clear”

 

South Carolina

Memento semper victos belli civilis

“Always remember the losers of the Civil War”

 

South Dakota

Nolite nostram terram foedare

“Don’t pollute our land”

 

Tennessee

Cantator in omnibus tabernis

“A musician in every bar”

 

Texas

Locus futurus magni muri

Future home of the big wall

 

Utah

Candida nix, candidior gens

“White snow, whiter people”

 

Vermont

Cavete cervos!

“Watch out for the deer!”

 

Virginia

Ecce, omnes, intecta femina in vexillia picta est

“Check it out, everyone, a naked lady is on our flag”

 

Washington

Sine umbraculis

“Without umbrellas”

 

West Virginia

Nonne carbo adhuc rex est?

“Coal is still king, right?”

 

Wisconsin

Caeseum, cervesa, farcimen

“Cheese, beer, sausage”

 

Wyoming

Venite ut fundum carissimum comparetis

“Come buy a very expensive ranch”

 

Washington, D.C.

Nisi nos fallit, urbs modo est

“Unless we are mistaken, this is just a city”

 

 

 

Gman

Edited by Gar1eth
Link to comment
Share on other sites

From Mcsweeney’s

 

New Latin State Mottoes For The 21st Century:

 

 

 

Alaska

Ab his litoribus Russiam videmus

“From these shores we see Russia

 

 

Idaho

Aliquis hic dux dux manuum sit

“Anyone could be a militia leader here”

 

Illinois

Multi cives hinc fugerunt

“Many citizens have fled from here”

 

Indiana

Cum vir virum in matrimonium ducat, nostri artoptae bellarium non faciunt

“When a man marries another man, our bakers do not make the cake”

 

 

Iowa

Magni porci, magni homines

“Big pigs, big people”

 

Kansas

Supra nos semper volatis

“You always fly over us”

 

Kentucky

Nostri equi sunt celeres, nostrum temetum forte

“Our horses are fast, our liquor strong”

 

Louisiana

Iecoribus conviviis magnis nocere

“Harming livers with big parties”

 

 

Maryland

Vetus Sinus omnibus

“Old Bay on everything”

 

Massachusetts

Tacete, scimus nos asperos esse

“Shut up, we know we are rude”

 

Michigan

Nos paenitet aquam atram habere

“We are sorry we have poisonous water”

 

Minnesota

Aestates caldissimae, hiemes frigidissimae

“Very hot summers, very cold winters”

 

Mississippi

Nostri ludi non sunt pessimi

“Our schools are not the worst”

 

Missouri

Scivitisne nos sex millia speluncarum hic habere?

“Did you know we have 6,000 caves here?”

 

Montana

Vetera dictio lingua Hispana conscripta est

“Our old motto was in Spanish”

 

Nebraska

Segetes conversae ante oculos versantur

“Fields of modified grain appear before our eyes”

 

Nevada

Lustra et aleae

“Brothels and gambling”

 

New Hampshire

Candidati nos amare adsimulant

“Candidates pretend to love us”

 

New Jersey

Pontes et litora claudere

“Closing bridges and beaches”

 

New Mexico

Nolite pittas super tectos iacere

“Don’t throw pizzas on our roofs”

 

New York

Bona nobis tributa magna auferunt

“High taxes deprive us of wealth”

 

North Carolina

Nihil carnum fumosorum sine acido

“No barbecue without vinegar”

 

North Dakota

Sedes vitae importuna hieme

“A place unsuitable for living in the winter”

 

Ohio

Nostra flumina non iam ardent

“Our rivers no longer catch on fire”

 

Oklahoma

Nulli turbines nos timent

“Tornados don’t scare us”

 

Oregon

Mercatura iusta et cibi naturales

“Fairtrade and organic foods”

 

Pennsylvania

Volventem Molem et Urbem Ferream cotidie bibere

“Drinking Rolling Rock and Iron City everyday”

 

Rhode Island

Perlucida etiam sorbitio peloridis sit

“Clam chowder should actually be clear”

 

South Carolina

Memento semper victos belli civilis

“Always remember the losers of the Civil War”

 

South Dakota

Nolite nostram terram foedare

“Don’t pollute our land”

 

Tennessee

Cantator in omnibus tabernis

“A musician in every bar”

 

Texas

Locus futurus magni muri

Future home of the big wall

 

Utah

Candida nix, candidior gens

“White snow, whiter people”

 

Vermont

Cavete cervos!

“Watch out for the deer!”

 

Virginia

Ecce, omnes, intecta femina in vexillia picta est

“Check it out, everyone, a naked lady is on our flag”

 

Washington

Sine umbraculis

“Without umbrellas”

 

West Virginia

Nonne carbo adhuc rex est?

“Coal is still king, right?”

 

Wisconsin

Caeseum, cervesa, farcimen

“Cheese, beer, sausage”

 

Wyoming

Venite ut fundum carissimum comparetis

“Come buy a very expensive ranch”

 

Washington, D.C.

Nisi nos fallit, urbs modo est

“Unless we are mistaken, this is just a city”

 

 

 

Gman

 

A few choice ones.

 

Indiana

Cum vir virum in matrimonium ducat, nostri artoptae bellarium non faciunt

“When a man marries another man, our bakers do not make the cake”

 

 

 

Kansas

Supra nos semper volatis

“You always fly over us

 

Louisiana

Iecoribus conviviis magnis nocere

“Harming livers with big parties”

 

Maine

Cur non pars Canadae sumus?

“Why aren’t we part of Canada?”

 

Maryland

Vetus Sinus omnibus

“Old Bay on everything”

 

 

Massachusetts

Tacete, scimus nos asperos esse

“Shut up, we know we are rude”

 

Michigan

Nos paenitet aquam atram habere

“We are sorry we have poisonous water”

 

 

Gman

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A few choice ones.

 

Indiana

Cum vir virum in matrimonium ducat, nostri artoptae bellarium non faciunt

“When a man marries another man, our bakers do not make the cake”

 

 

 

Kansas

Supra nos semper volatis

“You always fly over us

 

Louisiana

Iecoribus conviviis magnis nocere

“Harming livers with big parties”

 

Maine

Cur non pars Canadae sumus?

“Why aren’t we part of Canada?”

 

Maryland

Vetus Sinus omnibus

“Old Bay on everything”

 

 

Massachusetts

Tacete, scimus nos asperos esse

“Shut up, we know we are rude”

 

Michigan

Nos paenitet aquam atram habere

“We are sorry we have poisonous water”

 

 

Gman

So what would California be?

Si autem quaeritur, in quo habitamus coram te potest praestare

"If you have to ask, you can't afford to live here"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So what would California be?

Si autem quaeritur, in quo habitamus coram te potest praestare

"If you have to ask, you can't afford to live here"

 

That’s a great one, @Unicorn!!!

 

But I do apologize. In the act of copying I accidentally left a few off. I believe these are all the missing ones.

 

 

Arizona

At aestus aridus est

“But it is a dry heat”

 

Arkansas

Verres plus oculis amamus

“We love the Razorbacks more than our eyes”

 

California

Ubi secedere possumus?

“When can we secede?”

 

Colorado

Nobis stupefactivi et montes sunt

“We have drugs and mountains”

 

Connecticut

Optima pitta, pessimi raedarii

“The best pizza, the worst drivers”

 

Delaware

Pullorum fundos et fabricas redolens

“Smelling of chicken farms and factories”

 

Florida

Semper soleas gerere

“Always wearing sandals”

 

Georgia

Filiarum praenomina sunt cognomina matrum

“Daughters’ first names are their mothers’ last names

 

 

Hawaii

Cafea, litora, lunae melles

“Coffee, beaches, honeymoons

 

 

Gman

Link to comment
Share on other sites

some of you may not know of this site yet.....scroll thru the pictures and pages and read the captions.....

 

http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/

 

http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/3084.jpg

 

http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/3044.jpg

Edited by azdr0710
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...