Should I feel insulted?

[Guest countryboywny]

I am married with a son. At first, if I were going to a gay bar, I'd take my wedding band off. Then I realized that:

 

1. It's tacky to remove your ring when the "white skin" circle around your finger is obvious.

2. It's wrong to be deceitful.

 

So, I am what I am and keep my ring on and don't lie about my background.

[jjkrkwood]

I am married with a son. At first, if I were going to a gay bar, I'd take my wedding band off. Then I realized that:

 

1. It's tacky to remove your ring when the "white skin" circle around your finger is obvious.

2. It's wrong to be deceitful.

 

So, I am what I am and keep my ring on and don't lie about my background.

 

FYI, some boys out there LOVE a challenge !

[JackTwist]

AG, I wouldn't consider this an insult at all. Take it as a compliment--it's always better to be looked at than looked over.

[leigh.bess.toad]

BVB,

 

Gentlemen, he is a very impressive MAN.

 

Boston Bill

 

I certainly agree with that assessment Bill.

 

As far as being hit on in gay bars, I don't go to many. But it was a very interesting experience for me in PS. Sunday night doing karaoke at Streetbar. After getting up and singing, I got hit on by at least 3 or 4 guys. Including a married couple. One of whom was an Episcopalian priest.

 

So if you want to get hit on in a gay bar, get up and sing at karaoke. Hey, you never know.

[BewareofNick]

I'll be happy to meet you and give my feedback. I am all over ATL all the time.

[Poolboy21409]

Hell I'd be happy to be just spoken to...even if it were fuck you asshole. LOL

[maxwellissmart]

I certainly agree with that assessment Bill.

 

As far as being hit on in gay bars, I don't go to many. But it was a very interesting experience for me in PS. Sunday night doing karaoke at Streetbar. After getting up and singing, I got hit on by at least 3 or 4 guys. Including a married couple. One of whom was an Episcopalian priest.

 

So if you want to get hit on in a gay bar, get up and sing at karaoke. Hey, you never know.

 

I am so inept when it comes to going out to bars and meeting up with someone. Or rather—if I think they're cute I'm inept. If I'm not attracted, then I suddenly channel Lord Byron.

[josephga]

I've only been spoken to twice in a bar and never hit on or asked out there. I get the trolls that sneak by and cop a feel or pinch you on the ass and run off

[bigvalboy]

Well, I don't have the problem of being hit on. I'm thankful to be alive & consider it a bonus that anyone ever speaks to me.

 

I am trying to figure out the problem. When did being 'hit on' become a bad thing. On any given night in WEHO, I would venture to guess that at least 10-15% of the people are straight, and at the Abbey it is probably closer to 20%, certainly most of the bartenders are. I was at Revolver the other afternoon, and I was sitting and talking with the bartender and 3 other customers. One of the guys was a little older, but very cute. I asked him where the bf was, just kinda joking, he said "Oh I am not gay, there is no bf, but there is the wife. He was there just to have a drink with his two neighbors. So the point of all this is, I think that asking someone their marital status is perfectly natural.

 

I think it is flattering to be desired by others...but that's just me...Cheers, BVB

[jjkrkwood]

I've always thought that Old guys hanging out in bars these days is pretty sad and pathetic so I tend to avoid them, since ya'll know, I AM an older guy. Dark sex clubs work MUCH better.

[josephga]

I pretty much just use apps and on line sites. Every single person I've dated even a one year relationship and a 4 year one I met on line. I've never gone out with anyone from a club. But when I ask my openly gay clients where they met their partners most say the clubs.

[bigvalboy]

I pretty much just use apps and on line sites. Every single person I've dated even a one year relationship and a 4 year one I met on line. I've never gone out with anyone from a club. But when I ask my openly gay clients where they met their partners most say the clubs.

 

Yes but Joseph, you are VERY successful dating or hooking up on line...someday, I will venture through your neck of the woods, and you can give me a lesson. Other than the occasional hookup, I have never really met anyone in a club, that turned into any kind of relationship. Then again, I don't really go to clubs trying to hookup. That thought just isn't in my head when I leave the house. It is just to hangout with friends.

.

[josephga]

I think most who go to the clubs go to be with friends. I've never went alone I think that's why I rarely got spoken too. I haven't gone in years. I don't drink or smoke and can't dance. If i was to ever go it would most likely be a strip club.

[Poolboy21409]

I am heading off right now to the local gay straight friendly sports bar for the best $5 hamburger ever. I get chargedfor two drinks out of three and it is happy hour. (I tip WELL.)The usual trolls will be there but hopefully the 6'2" 220lb blond guy who plays pool will be leaning over the pooltable trying to make an impossible shot. Nothing hotter than a hunk playing pool in tight jeans or tight shorts.

[Bosguy]

Yes but Joseph, you are VERY successful dating or hooking up on line...someday, I will venture through your neck of the woods, and you can give me a lesson. Other than the occasional hookup, I have never really met anyone in a club, that turned into any kind of relationship. Then again, I don't really go to clubs trying to hookup. That thought just isn't in my head when I leave the house. It is just to hangout with friends.

.

 

Looking back over the years and up to the present, I found that going to a bar by yourself with the express intent to pick someone up, seldom worked. However, if you go to a bar with a group of friends (or a friend) just to have a night out and enjoy yourselves, guys seem more interested in meeting you. I think it's because you are relaxed and don't have an attitude.

 

Boston Bill

[BostonPhil]

I only go to clubs to be social with friends. I find really drunk people to be unattractive and since I don't drink to excess I never get the beer goggle effect....

[Diverdan]

This is quite an interesting thread. I don't go to bars much any more, mostly because I have little time to do so with my work and other obligations. However, when I did go regularly, I often went by myself after work, and often met others... sometime just to chat, and sometimes we "picked up each other"... I have often gone out with friends and often got hit upon then too, but I also often hit on others too! I was never insulted by any questions I got, and often got the question about being married, having kids, where did I work, was I interested in going out after happy hour finished, etc. If you are comfortable with yourself, it doesn't make any difference whether you are married, have kids, have a partner, have a bf, or anything else. I find that a lot of guys have different tastes... some are interested in older guys, some only want young guys who barely know anything about life, others want someone with whom to chat, others want only a quick fuck, etc. and the list could go on an on. Just relax, have a good time and be open to what ever comes your way, or should I say cums your way!!!!! To many guys that I see come into bars or clubs are not secure in themselves, and trust me guys, that comes across loud and clear. As a trained psychologist, I often go to bars and clubs just ot observe what is going on and enjoy that both alone and with friends. I have met many guys that over time developed into close friendships, and others that were one time wonders. I never had any preconcieved notions of what would happen, and prevented a lot of anxiety that I see with other guys.... sorry to be so long winded in this reply... but my message is relax, be who you really are and you will be happily suprised by what happens.

DD

[Atlantagaguy]

Hey guys, thanks for all your comments! I agree with many, it’s just nice to be talk to. I do need to clarify that I am not getting hit on like so many have suggested. I wish that was true, but when I try to carry on a conversation the other person seems to not want to talk. By the way let me say that this message board has helped me in so many ways. Thanks you for your contributions!