When Is an Invitation NOT an Invitation ???

[jjkrkwood]

The thing is you don't just happen to be in P-Town. Unless you live Boston or Providence it takes a bit of planning. I can easily hop a ferry and be there in no time. For people like JJ he has to either fly into the Provincetown air port or into Logan then drive several hours to get there.

 

I am curious though JJ, does this couple know your dislike of P-Town? If they do, it was likely an empty invite in the first place.

 

They know that i have vacationed there previously, and didnt like it enuf to return. They are using the "you dont want to see us" thing, but the point is, They dont invite me to their home in Brooklyn, only 20 minutes away, so if they really "wanted to see ME", that invite should have been in place before they left for the summer.

[jjkrkwood]

http://www.maleescortreview.com/forum/public/style_emoticons/default/thumbsup.png Very sound advice and much better than my initial reaction of kicking them to the curb.

 

JJ, if you really don't care to continue the relationship in its present form, then it probably can't hurt to have the open conversation Jgoo suggests. At the very least, you'll learn each other's take on things, and possibly get the relationship restarted on a more equitable footing.

 

I'd be interested to hear what happens, if you feel like sharing. http://hfboards.hockeysfuture.com/images/smilies/bigear.gif

 

Lookin, i have a 10 year history with these boys, and their behavior thru out that period has been consistent, meaning it usually has to be "all about them". I am pretty easy going when it comes to small things like going to dinner or a movie, and the point really is to spend time together. I guess letting them orchestate those small things gave them some license to move on to the bigger things, like vacations. but since they arent paying for my vacay, i think I still should have some say in where I go ? We HAVE had conversations, many in fact after several small

fallings out over the years, but most people OUR age are set in their ways, and I get that. But if I give in 10 times I should expect YOU to give in once. Thats more than fair, and it shouldent even come to that amongst friends.. I believe, sometimes if things cant be fixed, its better to cut your losses and move on. At least thats what I always advocate, so I should follow my own advice.

[citylaw1]

JJ, I would like to invite you to Naples to sponge off my escorts and, perhaps, some light cleaning of my residence. I would ask that you stay at a local hotel and provide your own transportation throughout. This offer isn't much worse than your "friends'" proposition. I bet that I would love them:)

[jjkrkwood]

JJ, I would like to invite you to Naples to sponge off my escorts and, perhaps, some light cleaning of my residence. I would ask that you stay at a local hotel and provide your own transportation throughout. This offer isn't much worse than your "friends'" proposition. I bet that I would love them:)

 

I will gladly provide you with THEIR number city.... BTW, I own a home in N. Ft Myers which i have NEVER been too. Why the fuck would I go to P-town to "work" ?

[bigvalboy]

"You advise them that you were not looking to incur that money for a vacation at this time."

 

This is the phrase from your original post that made me infer that you could not afford the trip. So if you could afford it and they believe that is the case and you told them you did not want to spend the money to join them, their annoyance is more understandable but still not justified. It seems as though one could interpret this as saying: I have the money and just don't want to spend it to join you. Perhaps that is why they are angered.

 

Your recent posts about this couple make it seem that there are deeper issues in this relationship. A cooling of the relationship for the summer may be a good idea all around if there is anything to salvage of this "friendship"

 

 

I agree completely with PK. In your response to me you said that "I CAN could afford the trip", but in your original post you said that you did not want to spend the money. Which is it? If I invited someone on vacation, and I knew that they were more than capable of affording the trip, but used money as an excuse, as PK suggests, then I would probably be a little upset also. Given the very limited information that you put forth in regarding this situation, I drew conclusion based on that which was presented. I agree with PK, I think that there is far more going on in this relationship than we are privy to.

 

No one gets mad at a friend that they have invited somewhere, simply because that friend says that he does not have the money to go. Who in their right mind would blame someone for that. That leads me to believe that indeed there are other issues at play here. You did say that you did not like P-Town, perhaps you have turned them down on several other occasions as well, and they are tired of the excuses. I don't know. My comment was generated by what you presented.

[seeker630]

I agree completely with PK. In your response to me you said that "I CAN could afford the trip", but in your original post you said that you did not want to spend the money. Which is it? If I invited someone on vacation, and I knew that they were more than capable of affording the trip, but used money as an excuse, as PK suggests, then I would probably be a little upset also. Given the very limited information that you put forth in regarding this situation, I drew conclusion based on that which was presented. I agree with PK, I think that there is far more going on in this relationship than we are privy to.

 

No one gets mad at a friend that they have invited somewhere, simply because that friend says that he does not have the money to go. Who in their right mind would blame someone for that. That leads me to believe that indeed there are other issues at play here. You did say that you did not like P-Town, perhaps you have turned them down on several other occasions as well, and they are tired of the excuses. I don't know. My comment was generated by what you presented.

 

HAVING the money and being willing to spend it on a particular thing are not the same thing. You probably could afford to pay $500 for a mediocre escort - but would you?

[bigvalboy]

HAVING the money and being willing to spend it on a particular thing are not the same thing. You probably could afford to pay $500 for a mediocre escort - but would you?

 

While I feel that your analogy is inconsistent with what we are talking about, I don't feel like taking the time to dissect it. I do feel Seek we have already established that the money was not the only issue here. When many questioned him on the oddity of his friends getting angry over a seemingly simple request, JJ freely admits in subsequent posts, that over the years there was a lot going on in the relationship that we were not initially privy to, and in fact in this invite alone, it would appear that there were other motivations for the invite that JJ did not tell us about originally. I applaud your constant support of him however, and I do think that it shows a high level of loyalty.

 

I do find it odd that I am the only one you have chosen to challenge on this, when there were many posters who had the same position as I did. Happy Memorial Day to you. Perhaps we should turn our attention to what Daddy has posted in the "Lounge" and focus our thoughts there for awhile.

[seeker630]

I think Seek we have already established that the money was not the only issue here. When many questioned him on the oddity of his friends getting angry over a seemingly simple request, JJ freely admits in subsequent posts, that over the years there was a lot going on in the relationship that we were not privy to, and in fact in this invite alone, it would appear that there were other motivations for the invite that JJ did not tell us about initially. I applaud your constant support of him however, and I do think that it shows a high level of loyalty.

 

I hope he appreciates your constant support.

 

BVB, I addressed only the one point - that I saw no contradiction is his statements that he could afford the visit and that he didn't want to spend the money on it.

 

Sometimes i agree with JJ, sometimes I don't. I think it's only fair to support as well as challenge.

[bigvalboy]

BVB, I addressed only the one point - that I saw no contradiction is his statements that he could afford the visit and that he didn't want to spend the money on it.

 

Sometimes i agree with JJ, sometimes I don't. I think it's only fair to support as well as challenge.

 

Well I disagree, I did see a contradiction, just as I see that you find it necessary to challenge much of what I post. Not really important why.... I think we have exhausted this subject.

 

Cheers,

 

BVB

[Bosguy]

To clarify Seek, my friends don't include a price tag either. It is my prerogative to get my own hotel, and pay my own way. I am not looking for freebies. While many will insist on me staying with them, we are from the South after all, and Southern hospitality is paramount to anything else, I insist on paying own way. If you can't even afford a room as the original OP stated, and your friends are too cheap to put you up, you have no business traveling anyway. You should just stay home and order in. Seems fairly simple solution to me.

 

I think friends should extend an offer to stay with them, but I am like BVB. I prefer to stay at a hotel and enjoy my stay with them or by myself.

 

Boston Bill

[down_to_business]

I am a little confused on proper invitation etiquette. If I am reading this correctly, when I invite one of my co-workers to go out to lunch with me, I am expected to pay for their lunch? Unfortunately, I invite various coworkers to join me for lunch 2-3 times a week on average and have never felt obligated to pay for their meals. Am I really supposed to pay for their meal?

[AdamSmith]

I dont like P-town, and had no plans to visit there.

Know the feeling, in spades. How about this: dig up a pic of yourself with your favorite gorgeous escort, stick it in an e-card, email it to your oh-so-generous friends during their trip with the message:

 

"Hot times in Ogunquit -- wish you were here!"

 

[jjkrkwood]

I am a little confused on proper invitation etiquette. If I am reading this correctly, when I invite one of my co-workers to go out to lunch with me, I am expected to pay for their lunch? Unfortunately, I invite various coworkers to join me for lunch 2-3 times a week on average and have never felt obligated to pay for their meals. Am I really supposed to pay for their meal?

 

DTB- you have brought this thread back to its original intention. and YOUR question was MY question too... Does merely inviting someone out mean you are supposed to pay? Its quite simple.

My friends know i am not the type to person to "crash" in someones home. Their invite to P-town was merely self serving for them as they were hoping to have fREE help for their Memorial Day house opening. They maintain it was an invitation which I rejected. Yes I rejected, but as they were not asking me to stay with them, merely come down to visit . stay in a hotel and help them out, I dont see it as such. To clarify for BVB, I HAVE the money but chose not to spend it on P-town, so YES I refuse to spend it. The money is going for a much more ME vacation.

[gallahadesquire]

Two items:

 

1. Memorial day is HERE, so perhaps we should let this thread go to its maker?

2. Anyone else for Pizza?

[jjkrkwood]

While I feel that your analogy is inconsistent with what we are talking about, I don't feel like taking the time to dissect it. I do feel Seek we have already established that the money was not the only issue here. When many questioned him on the oddity of his friends getting angry over a seemingly simple request, JJ freely admits in subsequent posts, that over the years there was a lot going on in the relationship that we were not initially privy to, and in fact in this invite alone, it would appear that there were other motivations for the invite that JJ did not tell us about originally. I applaud your constant support of him however, and I do think that it shows a high level of loyalty. .

 

This comment was totally uncalled for and unnecessary, because Clearly BVB you have your little posse of peopel you support no matter what, especially when it comes to talking shit about me. I do not know Seeker, and therefore we have no loyalty to each other. We simply know each other from the boards and have come to blows many times on various subjects. But we respect each others opinions and that makes for Maturity. Something you and your little group seem to lack, especially in the way you have later "dismissed" Seek because he didnt agree with you. With your feeling towards me being what they are, why the fuck would you even post in THIS thread other than to cause dissention ?? You just cant seem to leave well enuf alone....

[jjkrkwood]

Two items:

 

1. Memorial day is HERE, so perhaps we should let this thread go to its maker?

2. Anyone else for Pizza?

 

Wow Gall, its seems that every other thread on this board gets a "Close" and "pizza" request.... Whats up with that ?

[orbital sander]

 

FYI - one last tidbit that I didnt think had relevance before but will mention now, the reason they wanted me to visit was that they have an annual Memorial Day party to open their summer home and was hoping to have me there to HELP them with the preparation and hosting duties...

 

Seems like it would have helped to include this "tidbit" in your original posting, as I think that it had a ton of relevance, and may have made the original post make much more sense to some of us.

[bigvalboy]

Seems like it would have helped to include this "tidbit" in your original posting, as I think that it had a ton of relevance, and may have made the original post make much more sense to some of us.

 

LOL... Of course it would have helped OB, but then again including this "tidbit" would not have had us feeling sorry for JJ as he was 'supposedly' so unfairly rejected by his friends.

[bigvalboy]

This comment was totally uncalled for and unnecessary, because Clearly BVB you have your little posse of peopel you support no matter what, especially when it comes to talking shit about me. I do not know Seeker, and therefore we have no loyalty to each other. We simply know each other from the boards and have come to blows many times on various subjects. But we respect each others opinions and that makes for Maturity. Something you and your little group seem to lack, especially in the way you have later "dismissed" Seek because he didnt agree with you. With your feeling towards me being what they are, why the fuck would you even post in THIS thread other than to cause dissention ?? You just cant seem to leave well enuf alone....

 

And have you forgotten your comment to me about going "rah-rah-rah" and carrying my pom poms, and then again repeated it in another post when you said "Shake those pom poms" So that was what the fuck exactly. You can't have it both ways JJ...and everytime you attack RH, it is to cause dissention and stir the pot...NO? LOL

 

And no one dismissed Seek, I simply disagreed with him. Disagreeing with someone is not dismissing them. And since this was a discussion between Seek and myself that I believed had ended, this really has nothing to do with you, so I have no intention of starting some sort of back and forth bantering. For me this is over.

[jjkrkwood]

And have you forgotten your comment to me about going "rah-rah-rah" and carrying my pom poms, and then again repeated it in another post when you said "Shake those pom poms" So that was what the fuck exactly. You can't have it both ways JJ...and everytime you attack RH, it is to cause dissention and stir the pot...NO? LOL

 

And no one dismissed Seek, I simply disagreed with him. Disagreeing with someone is not dismissing them. And since this was a discussion between Seek and myself that I believed had ended, this really has nothing to do with you, so I have no intention of starting some sort of back and forth bantering. For me this is over.

When you say to someone "I think we've exhausted this subject" after YOU making your final point, THATS dismissal !. I guess when someone really is a douche-bag, they dont even know it.

 

My comments to Rockhard are merely my comments and how I feel about what he writes. They are not meant to stir any pot, just show disagreement. When you "shake your pom-poms", you generally have not made any useful comment to the thread, simply a "you go girl" kind of encouragement. THATS stirring a pot.... You keep saying "this is over and that is over", yet you Never stop. When you mention my name in a post it DOES have to do with me. REMEMBER that missy.

[bigvalboy]

My comments to Rockhard are merely my comments and how I feel about what he writes. They are not meant to stir any pot,

 

Bullsh*t....