Not Experiencing Gay Sex/Love While Young

[Guest Tristan]

If this Post doesn't interest you, that's fine. But please don't anyone hijack this Post. It means too much to me. Thank you.

 

This is a subject that bothers me, and that I think about quite a bit. I'm posting it here because I want to know if there are others like me who regret what I regret. For certain members, this post will be irrelevant because they had gay sex from the time they were teenagers or in their early 20s. Hmmm. I would be interested in knowing what percentage of members fit into that category. However, this is not my main interest. What concerns me is as follows:

 

I didn't have a gay encounter until my mid-20s. I see pics of young guys in an erotic situation, and I feel like I missed something important in my life. Instead of exploring my true sexual inclinations, I wasted my early years dating girls and young ladies. Not that it was a total waste. It gave me a different perspective, and I did learn some things about women. After I finally started having sex with guys, I identified myself as bisexual, until I finally decided I needed to get off the fence and be what I knew I was.

 

My generation didn't have the benefit of the Internet. Nor did we have high school and college gay support groups. Even bars had sleazy looking facades with no name on them. You had to know which door to enter. All this made it much more difficult to have the courage to follow your desires.

 

Now many of us pay for the pleasure of younger escorts, but how many like myself never had the chance to have sex with someone young while being young, or to have a bf and be in love with another male while being young? I can't help but think I missed something very important - young gay love. When I watch the "Queer as Folk" series or Bel Ami flicks, it really brings this thought home to me. Now I know and understand all the benefits of being experienced and more mature etc. And there's something to be said for all of that. Yet the void in my early years will always remain - impossible to ever recapture, and no memories to ponder, no matter what escort I hire.

 

- Tristan

[bigguyinpasadena]

Tristan that was a lovely-if somewhat sanguine-post.I know many fellas who have come out late in life-and I wonder if they feel this regret also.

I was never ever young!I was so detirmined to be wordly that I was never young in spirit.I had a blast-and I pushed a lot of other young men away from me-I fell for the wrong sort of guy from the start.and sex was(and still is)something I look for outside of friendship.

I marvel when I see gay teen boys holding hands and experiencing the thrill of discovering life and love with a boy his own age-I never had that in my life even though I came out at a really young age(16)in a small agricultural town in Norcal.I was having loads of sex,and I had older friends,but I wonder how my life would have been different had I stuck to guys my own age instead of having flings with older guys.And that was not for love,rather it was to have access to things that I would not have experienced on my own.

I know regret is a wasteful,energy sapping,emotion.And I really do not have lots of regrets regarding my wild young years.But I do find myself thinking"what if,,,"on occassion.All in all,I am happy with my life-still "what if..."

[VaHawk]

Someone please cue Frank Sinatra to enter stage left singing "My Way"

 

You may regret not having engaged in gay sex/relationships at an earlier age, but how so, as you started in your mid-20's. Lots of men realized they were gay much later than that!

 

Also, to miss something implies that you once had that something and no longer have that something. If you never had it, then by definition, you can't miss it.

 

I posit that it is your youth that you miss. That is why you can't recapture it by hiring late teens/early twenties escorts.

 

Regardless, looking back at the past and regreting/wishing for what wasn't is, imo, not too healthy and certainly is not productive.

[Guest Tristan]

>You may regret not having engaged in gay sex/relationships at

>an earlier age, but how so, as you started in your mid-20's.

>Lots of men realized they were gay much later than that!

 

Yes, you're right about that. Some people never acknowledge to themselves that they are gay. I feel fortunate in that sense.

 

>Also, to miss something implies that you once had that

>something and no longer have that something. If you never had

>it, then by definition, you can't miss it.

 

Nonsense! Let's not split hairs on the word "miss". I clearly stated that I regret that I did not have something. You're being absurd because you knew exactly what I meant.

 

 

>I posit that it is your youth that you miss. That is why you

>can't recapture it by hiring late teens/early twenties

>escorts.

 

Perhaps I miss that too, but why don't you speak for yourself! You're twisting what I said and second guessing me. Whether or not I miss my youth is not the subject. I made clear what the subject was. Don't try to change it.

 

 

>Regardless, looking back at the past and regreting/wishing for

>what wasn't is, imo, not too healthy and certainly is not

>productive.

 

I asked for people to respond who felt as I did. I didn't ask for people to see how many ways they could hack up my post. It never ceases to amaze me how negative you are in so many posts that I read on this site. It's people like you who discourage other members from posting similar subjects. So why don't you do me a favor and take your negativity and hostility to a post where people enjoy hacking each other up. I've seen plenty of those on this site. Being so negative all the time may give you a rush, but I think it is very unhealthy and certainly is not productive.

[VaHawk]

WOW!!!! Feel better now? You don't need to attack me to find a prime example of negative hostility, you just need to look no further than the end of your own nose. And BTW, who are you to dictate how others should respond to an open thread on a message board? Don't like the responses, then leave and start your own little private wailing wall site.

[Guest skrubber]

Tristan-

Calm down. I do not see hostility is VAHawk's post. I think he is just telling you how he sees it. Taking the chance of being ostracized by you I will say you are far too sensitive. I also - though NEVER coming out - feel as if I have missed something in my youth and wish I had the balls to come out but do not dwell on what I may or may not have missed. I go from this point on and capture all I can.

 

Everybody loves Backa Baa.

[Guest jeffOH]

Tristan...

 

I've heard similar stories from some clients and friends who've come out even later than you did in life. Mid-20's is really relatively early. I've had clients who got married in their 20's and divorced in their 40's/50's and came out of the closet and entered the "gay scene". I suppose it would be much harder the older you are, but it's a good thing at whatever the age.

 

I'm grateful that I came out very early in life at 16 years-old in 1979. It's amazing to see the changes in the gay scene in the past 25 years.

 

I think at 40 years-old I have a much more realistic and less romanticized attitude about Love and Sex than I did in my early 20's. Didn't really have a clue then, made LOTS of mistakes, but I'm glad I made them when I did and learned alot about myself in the process.

[Guest JustStarting]

Tristan--

 

I'm sure each respondent to your post would have an interesting story to tell. In my case, my first gay/escort experience was when I was well into my 50's. The next day, I sent the escort a copy of Robert Frost's poem--I'm sure he didn't get what I was trying to say.

 

 

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

 

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

 

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

 

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

 

 

 

Each of us makes decisions in life that lead us down one path or another. Later on, we'd like to know what might have happened if we made a different choice--unfortunately, clocks only move in one direction.

[bluenix]

I had been married for 8 years before I figured out I was gay. Once I did, at 26, I wasted no time radically changing my life. Which cost me some relationships but there you go.

 

I have never had a scintilla of regret, which would be pretty pointless anyhow, plus, I believe I made up for anything I might have missed.

[Guest Rap218]

Wow this post is just what I've been feeling lately...I didn't have my 1st experience w/ any man till I was in my early 40's always fought or hid my feelings. That is my biggest regret, period ! I've always wondered would I have had a relationship w/ anybody, as I have never really had one...I've been w/ escorts, but only for the last few years.Thanks to the internet. I think its so much easier to come out when your younger, not so much as telling friends and family, hey I'm gay. Which has its own pitfalls. I'm talking about the chances of having a few loving and caring relationships. For the past I'd say month I've been feeling lonely, don't get me wrong I have great friends, only a handful know I'm gay. I talk and see them often. I have wondered will I every meet someone. I work for a small catering company, you'd think there would be some gay men working there. Well there is ME! I work almost every weekend so don't have much time to meet or even date...I am happy I finally got the chance to explore my sexuality, but always in the back of my mind I say what if! Thanks for listening and posting this ? I feel better knowing I'm not alone..Thanks Robert

[Guest YFSC]

Tristan,

 

Thanks for your heartfelt and thought-provoking post. I enjoyed it and enjoyed hearing about the road you travelled and your wistful feelings and wonderings, even if not everyone did. And I think it strikes a responsive chord in many posters here. Also, even though it can't change anything and the questions can never be answered, I think it is good for you that you verbalized your thoughts and that this place is available for you to do so. Bigguy, jeffOH, JustStarting, bluenix and Rap218 have already said many of the things that I might have said, so I won't repeat them.

 

I suspect that for the most part there will be a significant generational difference between those who identify with you and those who don't, which correlates with the attitudinal difference in society, which in turn has an effect on the age at which many people come out.

 

By the way, you did *not* misuse the word 'miss,' and don't let anyone tell you otherwise, as in

>>Also, to miss something implies that you once had that

>>something and no longer have that something. If you never had

>>it, then by definition, you can't miss it.

 

Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary

 

Main Entry: miss

Pronunciation: 'mis

Function: verb

Etymology: Middle English, from Old English missan; akin to Old High German missan to miss

transitive senses

1 : to fail to hit, reach, or contact

2 : to discover or feel the absence of

3 : to fail to obtain

4 : escape, avoid <just missed hitting the other car>

5 : to leave out : omit

6 : to fail to comprehend, sense, or experience <missed the point of the speech>

7 : to fail to perform or attend <had to miss school for a week>

 

Looks to me like your use, depending on just what nuances you intended, is entirely appropriate to any one or more of the closely related meanings 1, 2, 3, 5, and/or 6 ("fail ... to experience"). Contrary to the assertion in a commentary on your post, the "definition" of 'miss' and what it allegedly implies is at best included only in meaning 2, and not as the exclusive implication of meaning 2: one can 'discover ... the absence of' something that one never had just as well as of something that one used to have.

 

As an additional matter, while I understand why you included the preamble to your original post, including it exposes a vulnerability and can serve as an invitation for some people to do just what you don't want them to do. And keep in mind that hawks circle high in the sky looking for a vulnerability on the ground, waiting to exploit it.

[VaHawk]

>I suspect that for the most part there will be a significant

>generational difference between those who identify with you

>and those who don't, which correlates with the attitudinal

>difference in society, which in turn has an effect on the age

>at which many people come out.

 

LOL! You have to be a federal government employee to come up with such gobbledygook as this! Could you exert a little effort to formulate this into something that ordinary people could comprehend? Perhaps you prefer to disguise your intelligence and cognizance behind a facade of smoke and mirrors?

>

>By the way, you did *not* misuse the word 'miss,' and don't

>let anyone tell you otherwise, as in

>>>Also, to miss something implies that you once had that

>>>something and no longer have that something. If you never

>had

>>>it, then by definition, you can't miss it.

 

You are so PATHETIC! IMO, the closest connotation of the word "miss" intended would be at best, the 3rd meaning of the word as you cite in your cut and paste Merriam-Webster dictionary entry.

 

>As an additional matter, while I understand why you included

>the preamble to your original post, including it exposes a

>vulnerability and can serve as an invitation for some people

>to do just what you don't want them to do. And keep in mind

>that hawks circle high in the sky looking for a vulnerability

>on the ground, waiting to exploit it.

 

LOL, YET MORE BS FROM YOU!! This paragraph was your MAIN matter, not an ADDITIONAL matter! And NO ONE has the right to dictate and/or restrict others from posting a response to a thread/topic in an open internet forum. But then, again, you believe you are SO CLEVER, but in reality you are just as foolish as your statements of pseudo-logic.

[KY_TOP]

I can very much relate to your story. I was raised in a conservative Christian Family in a Southern/border state. Even though I realized I was gay at age 12 (something I kept to myself), I figured if I married and had children I wouldn't be Gay so I married in my early twenties and now have 2 kids. Guess what? It didn't work I was still gay and I was divorced by age 27. I had my first sex with a man at age 28. After 2 times of having sex with him he said he needed a friend and not a lover so the sex with him ended. He is now my best friend and I don't know were I would have been without his friendship and support over these many years.

 

Many times when I start to regret or to say that I feel as though I threw my youth away, I think of my kids. I don't regret having them for anything in this world. As they were young and growing up I still had limited Gay relationships and my life became so dominated by my work and the kids (I am still in the closet to them) that I never had the time for one. Everytime I got close to someone my work or kids would dominate things to the point the relationship would soon end.

 

Now with the kids grown and enough people to delegate things to at work, I am making up for lost time. I am having a blast and life is too short to dwell on the what if's of the past. I am just glad for now and the future. I also realize that I am blessed with 2 great kids and to be apart of their life as I grow older. I know many Gay men wish they had children, I don't have to wish.

 

I have met some great guys and sex partners (yes Escorts) the past few years and I am very much enjoying my life.

 

I do enjoy seeing how the world is changing and how so many young people seem to be more comfortable with their sexuality than me and many of my generation.

So from my standpoint, I can relate to your thoughts but no regrets here...I'm enjoying the best years of my life now in my 40's.

[+ Cock Eyed Optimist]

Tristan,

 

What a poignant topic! Many of us can relate to this topic as you can see already. Times were different then, and many of us were in the closet for many years. Think of all the others before us who were never able to venture out of the closet at all. This is why we must all work together to make it even safer for our youth of today to feel safe in schools, in cities, and wherever they choose to have a relationship with a member of the same sex. The petty differences we have within our own ranks only make it harder for gay youth to feel comfortable in "coming out". It still isn't safe in many schools around the country, and it is even more difficult for transgendered youth to feel welcome, even in the gay community.

 

Thanks for opening up this topic.

[VaHawk]

WOW! Thank you for posting my favorite Robert Frost poem, which if you read it as written says SO MUCH! :-)

[KY_TOP]

Well Hawk, it looks like we something in common other than Marco Rochelle.}(

 

That is one of my Favorite poems and Robert Frost is my favorite poet.

[+ bigjoey]

my first gay experience was at age 46 (i just turned 58). as i've gradually come out i do envy today's youth who are more open. one of the things i think about is that if i had been having gay sex, i would probabally be dead from AIDS by now; it was people my age who got infected before anyone really knew what was happening. i have a gay friend in new york who lost hundreds of friends and every weekend was another memorial service.

 

the time of "my youth" was so much different; stonewall happened when i was in grad school and it was years before the gay world really opened up. it is hard for young people today to understand those times. it was illegal to serve a drink to a gay man in a new york bar! you could get thrown out of the military (oops, some things do not change---thank you bill clinton), you just acted as "normal" as you could and probabally got married, etc. there were no gay role models to follow (oscar wilde was married with children!!).

 

i hope the young kids today appreciate the freedoms they have; they were hard won and much still has to be gained such as job protection and marriage rights. the young kids today have role models and peer group support. they need to work hard to continue the advancement.

[phage]

>I didn't have a gay encounter until my mid-20s. I see pics of

>young guys in an erotic situation, and I feel like I missed

>something important in my life.

 

I think the actual importance of what you missed is debatable, but I can tell you that you definitely did miss something. I fell in love with my best friend when I was 14. We became a couple just before I turned 17 and were together for the next four years.

 

The whole first love/puppy love thing was sweet and foolish and just very youthful. It’s one of the fondest memories of my life. The same kind of memory that most straight people have but many, many gay people do not.

 

I’m not trying to rub salt in your wound. Just affirming that your feelings certainly aren’t baseless and I can see why you would be a little wistful about it. Most all of my regrets in life are rooted in missed opportunities.

[VaHawk]

Thanks KYT, as your post lifted my spirits against all the uncalled for personal attacks on this thread. My favorite poets are in order 1. Emily Dickinson 2. John Keats 3. Robert Frost 4. Walt Whitman 5. John Donne 6. John Milton 7. Edna St. Vincent Millay 8. Samuel Taylor Coleridge 9. e.e. cummings 10. William Wordsworth Longfellow.

[BuckyXTC]

Tristan:

 

Even though I begain to grapple with my sexuality in my teen years, my earliest gay sexual experiences came in my early 20's. After that, I went through a long dry spell of no sex and lots of masturbation. I can identify with your feelings, because for a long period of time, I put all my energies into my job and other things and pretty much avoided the issues of sex and sexuality. Over time, I felt I had made some poor choices in not dealing with this aspect of my being, and so, with the notion of "better late than never", I refocused my life, and began to address unmet needs. Some of that dealing has come through hiring escorts, but even more important for me was developing a circle of gay friends with whom I could be myself. Most of the twenty plus years of my sexual hiatus I was very closeted (because of my employer) and also nervous about AIDS. AIDS was rearing its ugly head during the time of my sexual "coming of age", and I lost numerous friends and acquaintances to it. At times I entertain thoughts like the ones you have described, wondering how things might have been different had I been more sexually liberated. These days I'm quite content with wonderful friends and hiring the occasional escort to add some spice to my life.

 

When I began hiring escorts about three years ago, the second escort I met became my best friend and we've shared a house together for nearly two years. He left the escorting profession shortly after I met him, but the ensuing friendship has done more to change my life than any sexual encounters I've had over the years. In my opinion, it's not the quantity of sexual encounters, or what age you were when you had them, as much as the quality of the relationships you develop. I've been more than fortunate in that regard.

 

Guilt or regret for things not done in the past are essentially distortions of existential reality, for none of us can change the past. Anxiety over what the future holds is equally misplaced, because we don't know what tomorrow will bring. That leaves the present, which is the only place we can really be. Living in the present moment offers the best available to us to for happiness and fulfillment. Good luck and best wishes to you as you wrestle with these things.

[foxy]

My favorite T shirt says...

 

"It's never too late to have a happy childhood"

[Guest YFSC]

Yet another erudite, well-thought-out and well-reasoned post from VaHawk. Vintage Hawk.

 

I am responding to this one to expose your misrepresentations and the fact that you ignore the basic facts, but if you continue this latest in your long series of message center flames (with more posters now than I can remember), I will probably not respond further. It is not worth wasting the time. So you can probably have the last word, unless your response is so outrageous that I can't restrain myself..

 

>>I suspect that for the most part there will be a significant

>>generational difference between those who identify with you

>>and those who don't, which correlates with the attitudinal

>>difference in society, which in turn has an effect on the age

>>at which many people come out.

>

>LOL! You have to be a federal government employee to come up

>with such gobbledygook as this!

 

Yeah, you got me. I am a federal government employee, and that explains everything. I know it's true cuz VaHawk said it. ... I guess you really *do* know everything, don't you.

 

>Could you exert a little effort to formulate this into

>something that ordinary people could comprehend?

 

No, because ordinary people can comprehend it very well. If you, on the other hand, can't, well, then... TOUGH. It wasn't addressed to you, anyway. It was addressed to Tristan. So I'm not worried at all if you can't understand it.

 

And please don't pull your typical ploy of misrepresenting what I just said and making an angry outcry about how this is a public board and nobody has the right to dictate/restrict others from posting or from reading anything that is posted. (You already did that below and it was a misrepresentation there too.) I did not say that you couldn't or shouldn't read what I wrote, only that it was not addressed to you, and that if you can't understand it, it doesn't matter and I don't give a damn.

 

>>By the way, you did *not* misuse the word 'miss,' and don't

>>let anyone tell you otherwise, as in

>>>>Also, to miss something implies that you once had that

>>>>something and no longer have that something. If you never had

>>>>it, then by definition, you can't miss it.

>

>You are so PATHETIC! IMO, the closest connotation of the word

>"miss" intended would be at best, the 3rd meaning of the word

>as you cite in your cut and paste Merriam-Webster dictionary

>entry.

 

Maybe the 3rd is the closest, maybe not. I don't presume to know what Tristan had in mind, as you do about him and about everyone else. I think that "discover the absence of" or "leave out" or "fail to experience" also fit very well in his narrative. But that's not the point. The point is that even if you admit only one meaning that doesn't have the implication that you claim -- which you just did (!) -- then it's *not* true that "then by definition, you can't miss it." And then that also means Tristan used the right word in the right way and you should not have jumped on him for it and pontificated incorrectly about what it means and what it implies.

 

It is a FACT that Tristan used 'miss' in a sense that is entirely correct in 5 of its 7 definitions. But it didn't need to be 5. One is sufficient. It is also a FACT that *none* of the definitions of 'miss' requires the particular meaning or implication that you were trying to force his use of it to have -- to the exclusion of meanings without that implication -- when you berated him for using 'miss.' Which is what I said in my earlier post. Read what you wrote, and read what I wrote.

 

Yes, the implication you tried to force Tristan's use of the word to have is *possible* under one of the definitions, but is not *required* by any of them, and there are many of them. So Tristan was using the word *not* in the meaning that you were trying to force on it. I might point out, also, that there have now been upwards of 6-7 comments from other posters about his post, many or most of whom have also used the word 'miss' in exactly the same sense that he was using it. They, too, speak English.

 

>>As an additional matter, while I understand why you included

>>the preamble to your original post, including it exposes a

>>vulnerability and can serve as an invitation for some people

>>to do just what you don't want them to do. And keep in mind

>>that hawks circle high in the sky looking for a vulnerability

>>on the ground, waiting to exploit it.

>

>LOL, YET MORE BS FROM YOU!! This paragraph was your MAIN

>matter, not an ADDITIONAL matter!

 

Well, again, it must obviously be so, because the all-knowing VaHawk said it is.

"BS" it isn't. It's very true. There are people, both here and elsewhere, who look for a vulnerability in someone's feelings that can be exploited.

 

And, not that I expect you to believe it, but the comment about the preamble was an afterthought. I meant what I said about Tristan's post, but probably would not have responded to his post, since I didn't have much of my own to add. However, two things caused me to reply, and then at the end I remembered his preamble. They were:

 

1. The uncharitable and sarcastic reply from you, which I thought needed something to balance it, especially in view of what Tristan had said in the preamble.

 

and 2. Your pontificating (incorrectly!) about the meaning of 'miss' and slamming him for using it incorrectly, when he was using it correctly and in the normal way that everyone uses it. And he even seemed cowed on that point in his reply to you. What you were saying about the meaning of 'miss' just didn't compile, and that's why I went to the dictionary to see if maybe I was the one off base. Nope.

 

So I addressed my remarks to him and told him not to be cowed by your overbearing pronouncements about the alleged meaning of 'miss.' You even quoted that part in your reply.

 

>And NO ONE has the right

>to dictate and/or restrict others from posting a response to a

>thread/topic in an open internet forum. But then, again, you

>believe you are SO CLEVER, but in reality you are just as

>foolish as your statements of pseudo-logic.

 

There you go again, suggesting that I did something I didn't do. I did not in any way dictate or restrict you from posting and did not say anything about that or even remotely like that that in my post. Why do you repeat that as if I had? I did, however, point out that your claims about the meaning of 'miss' and about his use of the word were WRONG, which is a FACT. The fool is you, and the pseudo-logic -- and lack of logic -- is yours.

 

I'll let you in on a secret. (Oops... did I say that was a secret? It's not. I told you the same thing before.) You know how to stop these flameouts that you have been having frequently with quite a few posters (with me before, now with me again, with Tristan just above, with Sean Lespagnol, with All Day Sucker -- all these just in the last week or so -- and with I don't even remember who else any more)? You know how to stop that? It's easy. Just stop the harsh posts that you keep making, stop the attacks and the misrepresentations and distortions of what people said, stop making up what other people's "real" meaning is, stop your vehement insistence the you Know The Truth About Everything, and stop trying to pass off opinion and fiction as fact. Those are common threads that run through your earlier "heated discussions." Look or think back about those earlier incidents. Regardless of who was "right," everybody has the same complaints about what you say and the way you say it.

 

You don't have to say overtly that you'll do that. Just do it in the future and you'll see how different things will be.

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

Know The Path

 

To answer your question, I had my first sexual experience when I was 18, so it has been nearly 20 years now. I spent my first few years having a lot of sex without meaning, so when I was 20 and felt a strong attraction, it hit me hard. While that seems very young, what you feel is, as others have pointed out, a longing for something you did not get to experience and never will.

 

While I never had to date women, I simply did not date in high school or college, except for the exceeding rare situation, like my high school prom, where I had to go with a date. I had a group of kids I hung out with and otherwise never dated. I knew I was gay then and I could certainly have acted on it, but because I was raised in a very religiously conservative family and particularly due to the fact that I was an alter boy, I had decided in my teenage years to wait until I went away from home to college.

 

Once I met my first serious boyfriend, I remember meeting another couple, our age, who had been together at that point for seven years. They had meet as teenagers and had their first sexual experience when both were 14. They spoke at a support group for gay youth and I remember leaving that meeting feeling regret and loss that I had not met someone like that when I was a teenager, not for the sexual experience as much as the companionship, shared experiences and mutual support we could have provided for one another.

 

But the choices I have made and the choices I was forced to take are the path that have led me to where I am today. While I can see that others have had experiences wish I might have wanted for myself, I like who I am today and I know what I wish to change about my life in the future. My choices have led me to this path and continue to guide me to the future.

 

For what it is worth, I think your exploration of what you feel you might have missed and what you may wish to presently seek will help you understand who you are and who you may choose to be.

 

http://www.gaydar.co.uk/francodisantis

[VaHawk]

Hey self-alluding, all knowing, self-righteous flaming queen! What's the matter, can't stand a little criticism of your supercilious, snobbish, self-importance? No? Then flame away! You won't stop me from pointing out your fallacies and the fact that you attack anything, no matter how innocent and innocuos, that is posted by yours truly. You have always done so, and I'm sure that you will continue to do, so don't try to take the upper limp wrist by promising not to respond to my posts. Nailed your ass for the career federal bureaucrat with his pompous, inane, trite, incomprehensible gobbledygook post right? Is that why you have your frilly little lace panties all bunched up your wide, smelly crack?

[VaHawk]

BTW: Reread the damn posts and you will see that no one but you and the op saw any hint of negative hostilitly in my original reply. That's because there was none. But when the op and you suspend all reasonable logic to flame out about me and my negative posts, incorrectly citing previous flames, you can shove the supercilious stick of flame up your butts - at least it might burn off your self-inflated bulbuous hemmoroids! and allow your brains to function again. FLAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FLAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :7 :7 :7 :7 :7