My Dying Wish

[HooBoy]

I enjoyed reading the Memorial Day thread.

 

Deej had a parenthetical comment that I found particularly amusing. Rather than hijack the lovely Memorial Day sentiments, I'll start a new thread, since I haven't done that in awhile.

<Groan detector flashing>

 

Deej said in the Memorial Day thread:

 

"Me? Cremation and pour me on a corn field in Illinois."

 

I'll share mine, but I wanna see yours first.

 

:+

 

__

 

The above written as a regular guy, not the owner of a website and has no "official" meaning, just unofficial BS.)

[+ Oliver]

My wife died five years ago. She didn’t want a funeral, but a party. So, three weeks after her death, we had a party. She would have loved it.

 

She also wanted to be cremated (as do I). “What do you want done with your ashes?” I had asked many years before. She had this thing of always vacuuming the carpets before we went away on a trip, said she could tell whether anyone had been there, besides liking to come home to a neat house. Sooo, she answered, “Just sweep me up in the Hoover!”

 

Two months later on our wedding anniversary (also my birthday – I had told everyone I thought I would like to be left alone that day), I decided it was time. I sprinkled some of the ashes on the hall carpet, turned on the Hoover, and swept her up! And felt better having done so.

 

Since then I have taken small plastic bags with some of the ashes (always wonder if airport security will wonder what that stuff is) whenever I travel, so she can travel, too, since we weren’t able to do much of that before she died. She’s now in the Atlantic, the Pacific, at Windsor Castle, Blenheim Palace, and Chatsworth in England, a couple of places in Holland and Belgium, and in several national Parks. She will go other places in the world, too.

 

What about me? Take my ashes to the Park of Roses and use them for fertilizer. I hope they don’t kill anything.

 

Oliver

[ValleyDwellerNorth]

>I'll share mine, but I wanna see yours first.

 

A traditional mass and burial will be fine with me. However, I want my stone to be state of the art. I want it to have a computer screen with me giving you the time, weather, news, etc. I also want to be an ATM machine where people get one free fact about my life when they get their money. Once a year, at my stone, I also want buffet.

 

Then again, when I look at my current nieces and nephews who will have to execute my will 4 or 5 decades from now (unless I adopt) I can only wish to be shoved in a box and disposed of properly.

 

VDN

[ValleyDwellerNorth]

Oliver,

 

That was truly touching and beautiful. Reading your post made my day. THANKS!

 

VDN

:*

[+ deej]

I know my family history and know it'll likely happen in the next 10 years.

 

I'll show you mine if you'll show me yours! ;-)

[eastbayguy]

I plan on joining the ancestors at the family plot in Greenwood County, Kansas. It is a rural, peaceful and tranquil setting. Lots of blue sky, green grass, flowers in season and all the things that go with being in the middle of nowhere.

 

--EBG

[Guest Raffy]

OLIVER! i think i love you...

 

...as for me, my friends know to sprinkle my ashes off the back of a Circle Line boat as it chugs around Manhattan Island--my home for the last 34 years-- with Springsteen wailing "Thunder Road" in the background. Only then can they go party.

[bigguyinpasadena]

Toss me a daisy before you toss me a match.I won't be around and so I don't give a damn what they do.

As long as they dont spend over $$500(preferably less)

Thrifty in life,thrifty in death.

And I want any money left to go to a program for gay runaways.

[foxy]

I'm giving my body to science. Lying naked on a slab, giving the med students a good laugh and maybe they'll even find an organ that I haven't destroyed that someone can use really turns me on.

[Boston Guy]

Oliver,

 

You are a class act. If only more people in this world could end up with someone like you.

 

My hat's off to you.

BG

[+ deej]

Imagine the stories. "I had this guy on the slab once..."

 

I figure I've already got one of those pop-up timers they stick into turkeys, and it's been stuck into a few turkeys over the years, so maybe it'll go off and give everyone a good chuckle (or scare). Lord knows it does it to me often enough.

[Doug69]

>I know my family history and know it'll likely happen in the

>next 10 years.

 

Is there anyone you can talk to about making it 5?

 

>I'll show you mine if you'll show me yours!

 

Ask David Young if he'll take that offer!

[Guest Jocoluver]

After I am gone my friends will have a party (like we've had many times before) at my home.

 

Two additions:

 

Music from "Chicago" ("My Own Best Friend" and "Nowadays") and from "La Cage aux Folles" ("I Am Who I Am" and "The Best of Times")

 

and scatter my ashes over my rose garden.

 

:-)

[CT Dick]

>After I am gone my friends will have a party (like we've had

>many times before) at my home.

 

 

A friend has this plan, too. Instead, we convinced him to have it while he was still here. He hired a restaurant on a Monday and had about 80 friends. He enjoyed it much more that way.:-)

 

Dick

[BobbyThompson]

I want to be placed in a glass coffin on a bed of flowers and have fluids circulated through me so I don't deteriorate.

 

There was an embalmer around the 1700s who had a formula that stopped the body from decaying, and it's a mystery even now as to how he did it. The bodies have barely aged since the day they died hundreds of years ago, including a small child. You can see them in the catacombs of Italy. Creeeeepy.

 

Morbid much? Nah, just thought it was interesting.

[Guest DevonSFescort]

No need to worry about making any funeral arrangements for me, since, not wanting to be a bother, I'm planning to crawl under a rock just before I collapse and die of embarrassment-related causes. Ever the visionary, I'm determined that my last innovation shall be my finest: the self-burying corpse. This will, I realize, pit me as the underdog against the monolithic clout of the funeral industry, but what are they gonna do? Take a hit out on me?

[Rick Munroe]

"I don't want anything fancy. When I go, just stand me up in the garbage can with my hat on."

 

(Who originally said that?)

[+ deej]

My Living Wish

 

Sounds like Woody Allen or Buddy Hackett.

 

If I can't have a dying wish, can I have a living wish?

 

http://www.rentboy.com/rbs/1551/pictures/1551_2.jpg

[Rick Munroe]

RE: My Living Wish

 

>If I can't have a dying wish, can I have a living wish?

 

Yeah, just think of me like a wishbone and pull both legs apart. You'll automatically win, because you already have the longer bone.

 

Ironically, that's Derek's dying wish. He has said in the past that when his time comes, he wants me to sit on his face and smother him so he can die with a smile.

[Rick Munroe]

RE: My Living Wish

 

>Sounds like Woody Allen or Buddy Hackett.

 

It was Lou Grant in the famous "Chuckles Bites the Dust" episode of The Mary Tyler Moore Show.

[+ deej]

RE: My Living Wish

 

A little song. A little dance. A little seltzer down your pants.

 

I should've remembered that. Thanks!

[HooBoy]

RE: My Dying Wish

 

On a recent 16 hour flight to Hong Kong, I saw the Chuckles the Clown episode of the MTM show 5 times - I could not keep from watching it and each time, I laughed aloud, no doubt annoying everyone in the cabin.

 

From that episode, I got *MY* dying wish, ripped off from Sue Ann Nevins:

 

I want to be cremated and have my ashes thrown on Lukas Ridgeston.

 

(Sue Ann's version had her ashes thrown on Robert Redford. Even though he is sexy, he is just too old for me to get excited over, sorry, Bob.) }(

 

http://www.male4malescorts.com/images/lukasatbeach.jpg