HB's posting in today's 'Briefs' section...

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

I'm shocked that no one else here has even brought it up~

 

In any event, well put HB. It was not only a well thought out posting, but truly timely during this 'time of thanks' and finding out what's ultimately important in our lives. Isn't it amazing how the silly little crap tends to always bog us down?

 

I'm glad you found someone to share not only your energetic life with, but your love with as well. Go get em' tiger. Fuck those pessimistic shitheads who say it won't work...

 

 

How's that for blunt honesty

 

 

Warmest,

 

 

 

 

Benjamin Nicholas

[Flower]

Go get em' tiger.

>Fuck those pessimistic shitheads who say it won't work...

 

Actually, I read it much earlier and have been thinking about it for a while.

 

Probably not a lot of comment yet since the Naysayers are just waiting to pounce and the Yaysayers, of course, don't want to get pounced on.

 

Since I could give a shit about criticism I planned to comment, but thought it best to wait until after a nice TG meal in Portland visiting family.

 

At first I felt that if Hoo wanted to open it up for discussion, then he would have posted rather make an editorial, but then realized if he hadn't wanted to comment, he wouldn't have posted at all--or in such a prominent manner.

 

I wish Hoo the very best and more power to him. I learned only a few years ago that you have to do what makes you happy as long as you don't hurt others in the process.

 

With all the younger men I've met, I have found one truth--there is someone for everybody and have made a very very few extremely close, but much younger friends.

 

I really feel that the problem of an older + younger man relationship is in the perception, security and the self image of the older man--that is once he gets past worrying about what his "friends" are going to say or think. I say fuck'em if they disapprove or are critical. ANYONE--old or young; male or female; gay or str8; pretty or ugly; (and on and on) who has self doubts can pick apart the relationship he has with someone else and become convince that it exists for reasons other than the self worth of the worrier.

 

Obviously, some commonsense needs to apply, and you need to have the confidence in your own senses and intuition. When you've been with someone for a while, you need to trust yourself that you know him well enough to know if he is being sincere and honest with you in the relationship or has ulterior motives. That of course is a 2 way street.

 

Just cause a younger guy is good looking and great in bed doesn't mean that the older guy will be attracted to him for more than a casual dalliance--the younger guy must always be wondering if he is loved for himself or just cause he is pretty and a great lay--self doubt is not exclusive to older guys by any means--not does it exist just in relationships that on the surface appear lopsided in benefits--self-doubt exists in ANY relationship

 

So Hoo, I hope you celebrated Thanksgiving today (or yesterday where you are) and told your special you know who thank you for being my friend, lover, confidant and whatever else the 2 of you share--the relationship is for the 2 of you and not anyone else--those that put you down or try to cast stones are only reflecting their own insecurities in themselves and projecting on to you--that and are a tad jealous }(

 

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO YOU AND TO ALL HERE.

[noviceny]

HB,

 

I dont know you, but I am really happy for you. Love is fuckin awesome, and I think that people may sometimes forget that all love requires some type of risk...some kind of leap of faith. So I say risk it, leap it, jump it and run to it.

 

I dont see anyway that you can lose since I really belief that old quote, "Its better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all." BTW, I dont think you will lose...

 

I will remember you in my prayers this week and ask God to grant you all the love that you deserve. I have always believed that if God exists, He must want us to be very happy, so at least you know you have Flower, God, Benjamin Nicholas and myself all rooting for ya !!!!!

[rland]

First off, congrats HB.

 

I found my true love about 2 years ago. He is now 23 and I am 50. And yea, there were those that said the age thing would get to us and it would not last, he was just after something....yada, yada, yada.

 

Well, we did have some tough times but then again what relationship doesn't? He is a truly loving man, and his family is awesome in their acceptance of me.

 

I have never been happier in my life and I see a long future for us together. So Hooboy...go for it. Forget what anyone says. If you find it right in your heart then that is all that matters.

 

Rick

[Chuck50]

Hooboy Congrats!!!! I think that young man got a good catch. HUGS Chuck

[WEST COASTER]

Forget the age thing - One of the nicest things that ever happened to me was the day I realized that I could meet, talk and be with anyone I wished, with out regard for their or my age. It has opened up a world of great experiences, admitedly not all have been triple A rated but they have all been interesting!

 

Much luck and happiness to you and your new love!

[+ Charlie]

Most other couples baffle me: what on earth do they see in each other? My own partnership (with someone several years older, different religious and social background, different vocation, even different sexual tastes), of course, is perfectly easy to understand.

 

May you have much happiness together, HB!

[HooBoy]

Ben,

 

Thanks for your kind comments on the Message Center.

 

It is now 3am here, there is a lovely boy in my bed wondering why I am spending so much time on the computer answering the FUCKING SHITHEADS who are sending me email telling me what a fuckwad I am.

 

Because they are so absorbed with their perception of self importance, they have not a clue my Thanksgiving message to THEM was they can make their life better.

 

Respecting others, giving love and getting it in return will axe their lack of self esteem. But that is what separates the few winners from the many losers.

 

When I read my own Message Center and the blatant lack of respect directed to the members and even worse, the escorts, it disheartens me.

 

I have not made a difference.

 

I only enabled despicable and vile vermin to manifest themselves. Sadly, the worst offenders are gay. No wonder the religious right is winning.

 

I just want to cry because I fear the enemy is among us.

 

But I thank you and I thank those who understand I am saying we can make a difference with a positive attitude.

 

HooBoy

[LovesYng]

HooBoy,

 

Go where the heart tells you, "FUCK WHAT OTHER PEOPLE SAY". It's your life and only you can enjoy it, no one else can. Most of us are 100% behind you what ever you do, again it's your choice and only your choice

 

When in doubt I whip it out :+

[+ Charlie]

Wow! Talk about seeing the glass half empty. Buck up, HB! I see the message board as an incredbly positive and successful development, despite the inevitable downers in any human enterprise. I hope you won't perceive what you have created here with so much hard work as a failure, just because it can't compete with the personal satisfaction you are finding in your new relationship.

[jackhammer91406]

Making a difference

 

Hooboy,

I wanted to respond to your Thanksgiving message, but then when I saw this thread, I knew I had to respond in a different way.

 

Please don't ever sell yourself short on what you and your message center have done. I spoke of it in my own Thanksgiving thread. The fact that some who play here don't show much in the way of kindness toward others, is not your failure, but theirs. For whatever reasons, some children just don't play well with others.

 

Your own Thanksgiving message spoke volumes to me and I can tell you that many of the escorts who have become close friends, have said much the same thing to me as what you said to all of us.

 

In the meantime, enjoy the fruits of your labors and follow your instincts when it comes to life choices. So far, I would say, in spite of any bad spells you may have gone through, your overall batting average appears to be pretty good.

 

Hope we can meet up someday, I get the impressions you might be alot of fun to play with.

 

Blessings

[Barry]

Well now that Ben's shock has subsided and this has become a topic of discussion, I thought I'd weigh in....something I rarely do.

 

Let me introduce myself. I, depending on who you read, am either one of Hoo's "cherished friends" (possibly a tarnished friend now) or one of "those pessimistic shitheads".

 

I'll begin by saying that I've been watching this relationship develop for some time now and Hoo knows I've been watching. Personally I want nothing more than for this to work and I think it has a pretty good chance. I also have been very honest with him and gave him a list of things to think about very carefully. These were things that might lead to it not working.

 

Hoo and I have shared some of each other's most private and painful times as well as some of the best (including a certain night at Steamworks). He knows this story well.

 

Once upon a time I was in a relationship with someone much younger. It lasted over 2 years and all except the last few months were wonderful (or so I thought). It ended painfully and for me, expensively as well. The cost well beyond what many would imagine.

 

After it ended my friends and even my sister told me that they knew it was going to end this way. They told me things they saw as long as a year before the end. Things that I didn't or wouldn't see. When I asked them why they hadn't brought this up back then I heard....

 

"Because we love you"

"We thought you'd be mad"

"I thought you'd think I was trying to break you up"

"We didn't want to hurt you"

"We wanted you to be happy"

"Would you have believed us?" authors note: I probably wouldn't have.

 

Well maybe I have a warped sense of friendship but I don't want a friend that only tells me the good things. Mutual admiration societies accomplish nothing. Those I call "friend" are willing and not afraid to tell me things they know I may not want to hear. Will I always listen? Nope. Will I always be happy about it? Nope. Will I know they are my friends and that they care. Yes....in my heart and my soul, if not always my brain.

 

So all you confetti throwers, count me in. And for all you pessimistic shitheads...well I'll stand back a bit since I'm your distant cousin, Realistic Shithead.

 

Hoo, you know I love you. Ben, shouldn't you be calling Colin about that VISA?

 

Barry (who is now going to get pissed in the Canadian way)

[jackhammer91406]

Barry,

I'll drink to that.

 

CHEEERS

[FourAces]

>Once upon a time I was in a relationship with someone much

>younger. It lasted over 2 years and all except the last few

>months were wonderful (or so I thought). It ended painfully

>and for me, expensively as well. The cost well beyond what

>many would imagine.

>

This is a very negative way to view what you describe as two great years with a younger guy. Relationships don't always last regardless of age. Instead of dwelling on the break up celebrate the two happy years you had with him.

 

I am in a loose relationship with a guy 30 years younger than me. We've been together for just over two years. I'm too old, way too fat, always too broke but for whatever the reason he hangs around.

 

Now if he were to say goodbye forever tomorrow I would be very sad, depressed and lost. But I would look at all that he brought to our relationship the past two years and try to focus on the postive, the fun, the best of times.

 

HB just go with whatever feels natural. Don't worry if you don'tknow who the fuck sang the song you just ramped up.

 

RT

[+ bigjoey]

RE: Making a difference

 

thank you hooboy for providing this "neighborhood" for us to hang out. as with any real physical neighborhood, there are both good and bad people. just ignore the bad ones and be thankful for the good ones.

 

many times, be it gay or straight, others often wonder why two people are together; "what does he/she in the other?". in a true relationship, the physical side is the least of of it. each partner sees the beauty inside the other. at work and in life i see relationships where one partner is physically beautiful/young and the other just plain "ugly"/old; yet when they are together, the love and caring is obvious; the relationship is not about what is on the surface.

 

ignore the hurtful arrows; they are from people who do not know the pleasure of love. be thankful you have found someone and savor your time together. you are priviliged to have found someone to share your life.

[Guest Tristan]

Hooboy,

 

I don't know you well and have had limited e-mail contact with you. I just wanted to say follow your heart wherever it leads, and what will be will be. None of us can always predict the consequences of our actions. There are too many unknowns beyond our control. So listen only to your heart and ignore those who don't approve. I wish you the very best that everything does work out. I see so few gay people who find a soulmate. (Otherwise, the chat rooms would not be jammed every night with people looking for a hookup.) [b/]Love comes along so infrequently, we must seize the moment when it does.[/b]

 

As for your web site, I have not always agreed with your policies, but yet I very much value the existence of this site. After I read my e-mail and a few online papers, I always look forward to going to this site on a daily basis. Not just to see what new hottie got reviewed, but for everything. I have found no other site with the broad range of issues (both gay and general) on the MB as this site. Providing space for Ben's 15 Minutes made me aware of something I may have otherwise missed.

 

The MB provides a wealth of information for people and a forum for discussing important topics in addition to the 411 on escorts. I think there is something here for everyone. The value of having a source of escort reviews speaks for itself. Thank you for making this site available. I would feel a great loss if it didn't exist. I wish I had access to a place like this years ago. It would have prevented me from making some bad mistakes for lack of information.

 

So you [b/]have[/b] made one hell of a big difference to many people. I know you will continue to do so.

 

Best Wishes,

 

- Tristan

[mattgunther]

Hooboy,

I hope things work out. And I don't think there's anything wrong with a relationship where money is involved. Plenty of straight people view money as a plus when choosing someone to marry.

 

However, I think it is worthwile to be honest with yourself. If you are not giving your new boyfriend any money, then he is clearly attracted to you and you alone. If you are giving him money then you don't know why he's seeing you. Its easy to find out. Just stop giving him money.

 

One of the most depressing things about this site (which has a lot of positive aspects as well) is the unstated assumption that one can not have a relationship without paying for it. I don't think thats true but, lets face it, this is a site dedicated to the idea of buying time, sex and affection. Perhaps the worst example of this are the "male companions" who make a living by selling their friendship (some would say they are really selling sex but I think its more than that).

 

Finally, I am I the only one who is getting tired of Benjamin Nicolas's crass, superficial, postings (like the one that set off this tread). He's either bragging about his luxurious lifestyle (first class air travel, huge suites in Las Vegas etc.) or spewing contempt (as in the post at the top of this thread). I know there, unfortunately, people out there so lacking in self esteem that they pay large sums to rent Nicolas's friendship (why don't they go out and make friends of their own-- are they so loathsome no one would want to be with them without payment?). And I know Nicolas has a right to post here just as I do. But that doesn't stop his incessant posts from being increasing tiresome.

[+ Lucky]

RE: HB's posting in today's 'Boxers' section...

 

Hooboy: When I read my own Message Center and the blatant lack of respect directed to the members and even worse, the escorts, it disheartens me.

 

Gunther: Finally, I am I the only one who is getting tired of Benjamin Nicolas's crass, superficial, postings...?

 

And this is the very same Gunther who trashed the escort Paul so severely.

[pierrot]

I thought HB's posting was insightful, generous, touching, and honest. Pensive and reflective is something new for this site. Thanks HB, and good luck with the relationship. I couldn't possibly offer any words of advice. The human experience and our possibilities for love are so vast that you have to remain open to almost anything.

[HooBoy]

RE: HB's posting in today's 'Boxers' section...

 

I think my point was missed.

 

Jeez, the comments I received here and in email (with a few bitter exceptions, one which I published) are humbling and appreciated.

 

My point is, we all get older and since most of us are baby boomers, remember we are in the majority and we are far ahead and have so much to offer to the beautiful boys who will eventually be our age, yet without the foundation our lives are based on.

 

My friend is not an escort. In fact he would be a horrible escort. Over a year ago I pointed him out to many of my friendds. What made my friend and I click is when I got off my high horse and put him first. I learn from him and we both benefit in ways that are not necessarily based on money.

 

For someone to ask me if the money went away would he go too is an insult to me and my friend. What I am saying, be careful with how you express your well meaning concern. I had one friend say that he never envied anyone except me.

 

Envy is one of the 7 deadly sins and I still hurt from that line.

 

For the hard of reading:

 

Grow old with grace and humor. Treat the person you set your sites on with respect. Forget your ego. And don't allow yourself to buy into the youth advertising. We all have much to offer. Be confident, love yourself and love, smile and laugh. Respect, respect and respect. And if you don't get it in return, move on with a chuckle because it is not your loss.

 

And for the person who dissed Benjamin Nicholas. hahahahahaa. I am so sorry for you, but thanks for the laugh.

 

--HooBoy

[Chuck50]

RE: HB's posting in today's 'Boxers' section...

 

And I would say you don't know the real HOOBOY and you don't know the real Ben Nicholas. HUGS Chuck

[VaHawk]

"Finally, I am I the only one who is getting tired of Benjamin Nicolas's crass, superficial, postings (like the one that set off this tread)"

 

LMAO!!! As HB stated, correctly or not, most of us are from the baby boomer population. As such, do we remember the pre-garbage pail bubble gum cards? Remember them:

 

"When they handed out noses"

"You thought they said roses"

"So you ordered a BIG red one"?

 

Or appropriate to this posting:

"When they handed out brains"

"You thought they said trains"

"So you ordered a Slow one"

[carryover123]

I have been lurking on the message center and never felt the need to post, but wanted to on this thread. I appreciate Benjamin's post and pointing out HooBoy's message. Benjamin does know how to push my buttons so I wanted to say something. (B.N. you can also undo my buttons anytime you want.)

 

At times I feel the same way that HooBoy described and really appreciate his note and can relate to what he is saying. I do not know him but wish him all the best and join Benjamin, Flower and all the rest in wishing him well. I hope your love acts like a drop in a still pond and ripples across all those you meet, having a great effect on them and others. I believe love, like a smile, is contagious. I think the love we share can only help make things better. If I did not trust others or take a chance on people when logic told me not to I probably would have missed out on some great friendships.

 

I want to defend my friend Benjamin. When I met with him I was the one who booked a Vegas suite even though he told me not to and I booked him in first class again over his objections. I like to treat others the way I would like to be treated and am grateful that I could do this for him. Benjamin did not pressure me to do these things, I wanted to because I like him and appreciate his attitude and his outlook on life. I think he is a great guy with a great heart.

 

Maybe I should try to make more friends close to home and spend less time with Escorts, but when reading his posts, website and 15 mins. I learn things and I find him interesting. I hope everyone could find a friend as nice as Benjamin has been to me.

 

HooBoy, you may get down about the negative posts and the way Escorts are treated, but do not close down the discussion as I find it really valuable. I can, and I think I others can, read between the lines on some posts and give them the value they deserve.

 

All the best to you guys and I hope you all find happiness, love or whatever you are looking for.

[LovesYng]

DELETED MESSAGE

[noviceny]

"When I read my own Message Center and the blatant lack of respect directed to the members and even worse, the escorts, it disheartens me.

 

I have not made a difference.

 

I only enabled despicable and vile vermin to manifest themselves. Sadly, the worst offenders are gay. No wonder the religious right is winning.

 

I just want to cry because I fear the enemy is among us.

 

But I thank you and I thank those who understand I am saying we can make a difference with a positive attitude." - HB

 

 

HB,

 

We make a difference usually one person at a time. You have been graced with the ability to reach across states and continents and bring information, laughter and wisdom to thousands of persons.

 

Remember you are only responsible for what you do. Is the fact that this world is greedy and selfish, God's fault, for creating it ? I dont think so...it is the fault of those who do not use their talents to leave this world better than they found it. Your work here has left my world better, than before I found you.

 

I know there is a lot of bullshit here, but those who are venomous will continue to spew venum. Those who are kind (Flower comes to mind) will use this vehicle to transport his message of beauty/kindness/etc.

 

Yes the enemy is amoung us, but it is amoung all groups. It is up to us to stand as beacons of light for those who wish to side with the good.

 

Are the worst offenders gay ? Well on this board they may seem to be since they have the largest voice and just by stats, that would give them the greater probability of being guilty. However, there are offenders out there who are just as bad, and will take your money, lie to you, and treat you with such disrespect.

 

For me, I live my life by trying to put all that is good in me out in the world. It is my vocation and my profession. It also weights heavily on me as Im sure it does on you too.

 

Ten Fuerza (Have Strength) and remember that you are doing something to make the world a better place. "All that evil needs to succeed, is for good men to do nothing."

 

Well done HB...very well done

 

Peace,

 

Jim