Is 9 PM too late to call someone?

[Guest]

2 years ago, I had some computer dude set up my computer. He works out of his house. I needed some work done, and I called him at exactly 9 PM to ask about his availability. He ripped me a new one and chewed me out on how "inappropriate" it was to call him at that hour. At first I apologized and asked if he wanted me to call him back tomorrow, but he kept going on on how amazed he was that I couldn't see how "outrageous" my call was. I don't know anyone who goes to bed at 9 PM (and I don't think he was asleep). Needless to say, I'll never hire him again. But this man was really outraged, and kept going on and on. Who was more off-base, him or me? He must be doing pretty good business if he can chew off customers like that. I have patients who do some pretty funky stuff, but at least I try to be diplomatic about it. Maybe he was on drugs?

[+ honcho]

It could be that he was on drugs. My own take is that calling anybody up to 10pm is fair game, unless they make it well known

that calls should cease earlier.

 

That being said, I did call someone I knew to be an audio engineer at 9pm (asking if they could sub for me on a gig), and I woke her up; unbeknownst to me, she was now getting up at 5am regularly.

[rvwnsd]

My rule is typically 10 PM. Even when someone calls me after 10 PM I don't rant and rave to them.

[LaffingBear]

I think 9pm is late for a business call. But not outrageous, and not justification for a strong reaction.

 

Why fretting about it 2 years later?

[+ peterhung85]

I think for a business call, calling outside of business hours (unless there is an SLA I am unaware of) is not courteous but I certainly would not go near as far as the guy did on you. I am also curious why bringing this up after 2 years. This must have affected you badly if there are still issues about moving on

[Guy Fawkes]

Hummmm... That's the same thing I do if you call me at 9am... (He was an Ass)

 

2 years ago, I had some computer dude set up my computer. He works out of his house. I needed some work done, and I called him at exactly 9 PM to ask about his availability. He ripped me a new one and chewed me out on how "inappropriate" it was to call him at that hour. At first I apologized and asked if he wanted me to call him back tomorrow, but he kept going on on how amazed he was that I couldn't see how "outrageous" my call was. I don't know anyone who goes to bed at 9 PM (and I don't think he was asleep). Needless to say, I'll never hire him again. But this man was really outraged, and kept going on and on. Who was more off-base, him or me? He must be doing pretty good business if he can chew off customers like that. I have patients who do some pretty funky stuff, but at least I try to be diplomatic about it. Maybe he was on drugs?

[Guest]

I think 9pm is late for a business call. But not outrageous, and not justification for a strong reaction.

 

Why fretting about it 2 years later?

Sorry, my posting was ambiguous. I hired him 2 years ago, and he set up my computer at that time. I called him again today, announcing my name in the first sentence "This is Unicorn, calling for Computer Guru." Unless one is getting up before 5 AM daily, and needs over 8 hours of sleep (and he doesn't get up that early, I'm pretty sure), I can't imagine anyone going to bed before 9 PM. He uses his home phone for business, which is fine, so I don't understand why he would be so livid about someone calling him trying to set up business. Frankly, I do work until 9 PM once a week. I could have understood if he'd said "I don't like to schedule anything this late, please call during my business hours of 10 AM to 7 PM." But he kept going on and on, even when I apologized for upsetting him and offering to call back. I don't get that worked up when charities or other unsolicited callers call me at that time. And I'm a customer.

[jjkrkwood]

People have different triggers, for some, its time.... You live, you Learn....

[MscleLovr]

Sorry, Unicorn, but I don’t think you can make assumptions about when people nowadays are available for work.

 

Tho I go to bed after midnight, I think of 9pm as my evening curfew for phone calls. I would only make or accept a phone call after that time if it were an emergency.

 

Similarly I never make or take phone calls before 9.30am. And if I were in a Spanish-speaking country, I wouldn’t call someone at home or work until after 10am.

[LADoug1]

I go to bed at 9 or even earlier because I get up extremely early.

 

My rule of thumb is 8 pm for evenings and 9 am for mornings. This is for personal calls.

 

For business calls I would think 6 pm and 9 am.

Edited December 22, 2017 by LADoug1

[MiamiLooker]

2 years ago, I had some computer dude set up my computer. He works out of his house. I needed some work done, and I called him at exactly 9 PM to ask about his availability. He ripped me a new one and chewed me out on how "inappropriate" it was to call him at that hour. At first I apologized and asked if he wanted me to call him back tomorrow, but he kept going on on how amazed he was that I couldn't see how "outrageous" my call was. I don't know anyone who goes to bed at 9 PM (and I don't think he was asleep). Needless to say, I'll never hire him again. But this man was really outraged, and kept going on and on. Who was more off-base, him or me? He must be doing pretty good business if he can chew off customers like that. I have patients who do some pretty funky stuff, but at least I try to be diplomatic about it. Maybe he was on drugs?

Is 9:00 PM within his normal business hours? If not, then you should have waited and called the next day. However, as a business, he should have a separate number for business calls that directs calls to voicemail when he's unavailable.

[bigvalboy]

9 to 9 is my rule. Never before and never after unless it is an emergency.

 

Most family and friends who are in different time zones will send a quick text..."chat?". That allows me the option of having a conversation. It's quick and courteous, and shows that they are respectful of my time and sensitive to the hour.

 

I was awoken the other night after 12 am from a friend who has been told repeatedly that midnight is not an appropriate hour to call someone. The phone rang and I saw his name, I answered and said, "Someone better have died", He laughed and said "well no", and I said, "then enjoy the rest of your evening", and I hung up.

Edited December 20, 2017 by bigvalboy

[+ sniper]

The Miss Manners rule is 9 am to 9 pm, with exceptions made for friends whom you know it's okay to call at other times, and you should always be prepared to have your call declined as the phone call is an intrusion. I don't think I'd call a business, unless it were a storefront with posted hours, after about 6 though.

I think you were late to call but not outrageously so; he should have simply said, "My business hours are X to X; please call then." And if he DOES get that upset about variations, he should have them on his business cards/website/etc.

[+ sniper]

Also - lot of IT people are in IT partly because they are horrible dealing with people. throw in a tendency towards Aspergers and passion for "Rules" and they tend to get disproportionately upset about things being "wrong." The rules obsession is actually a useful trait for fixing problems with computers, but it tends to hamper their human interactions.

[+ WilliamM]

I think you were late to call but not outrageously so....

 

I can not image making a business call at 9PM unless it was a true dire emergency.

[HotWhiteThirties]

There are several things at play here, but I think I have a good idea what happened, and may be able to provide some insight. Forgive me if any assumptions I make are incorrect, and certainly feel free to correct them.

 

First, to have been chewed out is not appropriate, and I’m sorry you experienced that. However, my guess is you received the brunt of a growing frustration in this service provider, and he simply snapped and you were the un-lucky recipient - it would have been whoever called him at 9 pm that night. At the same time, you received the “chew out” as a result of likely showing the same inconsideration that your computer guy has received from countless customers. Yes, customers are important, and providing service to them is crucial to business, but that often makes customers assume that only their preferences and conveniences are at play. And as harmless as it seems, it sounds like you infringed on those with this guy. (Again just offering some insight.)

 

A lot of self-employed small business owners experience this frustration. Especially service businesses where you must be flexible to the needs of customers after hours or on weekends. This often means you are always on call (or have the feeling that you are), and do not have set business hours - and even if they are set, they are routinely disregarded by your customers. (This is a result of a lot of factors including a 24/7 instant gratification society, which is a collective issue and not the fault of the customer, but it does impact expectations and that’s not the fault of either party, but I digress.) Anyhow, this feeling of always being on call creates a scenario where it is difficult to set boundaries and it is very difficult to carve out time for family, hobbies, or time to recharge personally. This is not the fault of the customer necessarily, but customers do often forget or are unaware of this and believe that their “one call” or “one request” is not an imposition - except it’s one of many - perhaps all at once. Again, no excuse for being chewed out, but it does provide insight on why I believe he snapped on you.

 

It’s easy to say “I work late a night or two a week myself, so what’s the big deal?” But in most cases that is scheduled into your week, you know it and are prepared for it, and the other nights of the week you can reliably count on NOT working and NOT being contacted. Self-employed service providers do not have this luxury and there is little predictability in their days - except that they are unpredictable - which can lead to burn out and frustration. For the most part they’re expected to be available during whatever their customer believes to be “regular business hours” PLUS whenever else might be convenient or necessary to meet the customer’s needs. See the delimma? It’s easy to say “that’s part of owning a business...or hire more help.” But often profit margins and revenue don’t allow for that, and at the end of the day it’s a person on the other end of the service and they are flawed, and reach their limits no matter how hard they try not to.

 

Calling 9 to 9 or 10 to 10 is not totally unreasonable - FOR FRIENDS or contacts where the RELATIONSHIP IS ESTABLISHED enough to warrant it, and of course in emergencies. Otherwise, I think a good rule of thumb is to limit professional calls to something much more reasonable - like 9:00 to 6:00. This will be influenced by time zones - the East Coast tends to migrate toward beginning later (opening at 9) and ending later than central time which begins business earlier (most open at 8:00) and ending earlier. Again generalizations, just pointing out yet another factor that underscores the point that it does all of us some good to reign in the belief that we should be able to call and contact anyone only based on what fits our personal lifestyle.

 

Again, forgive the presumptions. I am self employed and have to work hard to set boundaries - sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. I have been in that place where one more late call would have likely caused me to snap, but thankfully I sent it to voicemail instead of picking up the phone and snapping. Still, it would have been nice if the person calling would have been considerate enough to not interrupt my family time at all, and recognized that unless their need were an emergency, that they could’ve called at a more appropriate time instead.

 

This insight is also applicable to the service providers many of us discuss and engage with on this board. God bless them all!!!

 

And now that I’ve written a dissertation, I will beg your forgiveness and wish you the Merriest Christmas and the Happiest of Holidays!

Edited December 20, 2017 by HotWhiteThirties

[Rudynate]

People call me on weekends, and sometimes very late in the evening. If I don't feel like answering, I just let the phone ring. They nearly always leave vmail.

[+ sync]

I'm not so charitable towards the tech. If he has customers for whom he has accepted the responsible for their system(s) maintenance/repair, he should be prepared for the occasional unusual early/late-hour contact.

[+ WilliamM]

Sorry, my posting was ambiguous. I hired him 2 years ago, and he set up my computer at that time. I called him again today, announcing my name in the first sentence "This is Unicorn, calling for Computer Guru."

 

If he has customers for whom he has accepted the responsible for their system(s) maintenance/repair, he should be prepared for the occasional unusual early/late-hour contact.

 

If this was his first contact with Unicorn in 2 years, I would not consider 'the company' responsible for system(s) maintenance/repairs.

[LaffingBear]

The Miss Manners rule is 9 am to 9 pm, with exceptions made for friends whom you know it's okay to call at other times, and you should always be prepared to have your call declined as the phone call is an intrusion......

 

I got a text alert at 1:12 am PST. Miss Manners was murdered by Internet Provider - stabbed through the heart with a cellphone.

[+ sync]

If this was his first contact with Unicorn in 2 years, I would not consider 'the company' responsible for system(s) maintenance/repairs.

 

I'm presuming if the gentleman is in the computer maintenance/repair business, Unicorn is not his only customer.

[+ WilliamM]

I'm presuming if the gentleman is in the computer maintenance/repair business, Unicorn is not his only customer.

 

I should have written this before: Unicorn should have just taken it as a life lesson. Some times living arrangements of even close friends change. I remember calling a friend about 9:30 PM; he was already in bed with a new woman.

 

I remember thinking "a mistake I will never make again with anyone."

Edited December 20, 2017 by WilliamM

[MiamiLooker]

I was awoken the other night after 12 am from a friend who has been told repeatedly that midnight is not an appropriate hour to call someone. The phone rang and I saw his name, I answered and said, "Someone better have died", He laughed and said "well no", and I said, "then enjoy the rest of your evening", and I hung up.

You fell asleep at Boardwalk again? I hope it wasn't during a lap dance.

[+ peterhung85]

Also - lot of IT people are in IT partly because they are horrible dealing with people. throw in a tendency towards Aspergers and passion for "Rules" and they tend to get disproportionately upset about things being "wrong." The rules obsession is actually a useful trait for fixing problems with computers, but it tends to hamper their human interactions.

That is actually a great point! One of the marketing convention I have recently attended partially mentioned this aspect and the speaker stated in the presentation:

 

...and for all of you IT people, this is how upper management thinks of you:

 

It was really spot on!

[+ peterhung85]

.... sorry, I forgot where I was.... maybe this image would be more appropriate for this forum: